Thor tells his Midgardian shield brothers his heart is set against Loki. That he will regard him as brother only once he has ceased his destruction. But when Odin sends Munin to watch Thor, he sees his son laugh at something on their picture screen or chuckle at a comrade's slip and when he does, Thor turns quickly to his side, looking to share his laugh with his brother. When only empty space greets him, both their hearts break. And break again and again, with every battle or imagined slight that pours from Loki's lips.

These slights must be imagined. He loved Thor and Loki equally. Always showed them love equally.

Still, Odin plans a feast. His son may be out of his reach now but a feast could help. He will throw a feast in Loki's honor. Celebrating his strengths, his virtues. Perhaps word will reach Loki and he will finally see all of his imagined slights for the absurdity that they are. Loki is loved and valued. Loki was always loved and valued.

This feast will be ornate and magnificent, beautiful and overflowing with scholars and mages and poets from all over the Nine Realms.

(It will make up for the warriors' feast thrown after Thor's return. Frigga locked in her chambers, inconsolable and refusing to speak to either of them, Thor forcing a smile and a choked laugh until he stepped outside where Thunder racked the castle for weeks. Odin hearing a table of his finest warriors mock his youngest son. Realizing this was not a feast for one prince's return, but a celebration of another prince's departure. Months later, "There will never be a better father than you" echoes horribly in his mind)

This feast…Odin will get right.

He sits at his desk, alone in his study except for a lone royal guard, Baldur. Odin tries not to look at him too often; he used to guard Loki's room. Still, he must tell someone of his good plan.

"Baldur!"

Baldur runs to him, eyes vaguely dreamy.

"Tell the cooks and planners I am throwing a feast in my youngest son's honor. Send letters to all of the mages and premier scholars in the realms. And inform the kingdom's scribes as well. Act quick, we shall throw the feast on my son's name day."

He turns back to his desk, jotting down various ideas and trying to remember which epic tales were Loki's favorites. He shifts to shout one more order to Baldur as he leaves the room…and realized he has not moved at all.

"For what do you remain? Do you await an invitation? By all means, mail yourself one as you send off the others. I care not."

"Sire."

"What?"

"Sire, the cooks ask that we wait to inform them of upcoming feasts until they are only one moon's turning away. Otherwise, the back log will—"

"And what, dare I interrupt, does that have to do with our current situation?"

"I thought you wanted the feast to be on Prince Loki's name day, sire?"

"Which is why you must act quickly, you fool! Loki must know the feast is for him, we have very little time—oh, here, I'll show you."

Odin reaches into his desk and pulls out the official calendar.

"See, here is my brother Ve's name day this next half moon turn, and here, coming up very soon, is…"

A cabinet meeting. He flips the next page, but sees only the same scratched-in memos.

"Why, that's not possible. I have every member of the royal family's name day carefully inscribed every time the seventh sun rotates, so that I will not…"

Baldur licks his lips, and looks nervously from side-to-side.

"Leave me, guard."

It must be a mistake. Every name day, Odin invites his son into his private chambers and speaks with him privately.

He remembered Thor's name day five moon turn's ago. He'd taken Thor aside early in the morning, before the celebration. They'd sat for hours, reminiscing on old hunts and battles. He'd told Thor how proud he was to have such a fine warrior for a son and future king and—

He does not love Thor more. He does not. There has to be some mistake.

He flips back in his calendar, convinced this was ludicrous. Convinced he'd find nothing at all.

But three moon turns ago, there it was. Loki's name day. Just a handful of days after Odin announced Thor's upcoming coronation date and of course that was very important and everyone was so swept up in the preparations and the excitement and…

Had anyone remembered?

They will go on a trip, Odin thinks, as his two most trusted advisors gather around him that afternoon, foisting papers and treaties onto his desk. Just him and Loki. He would take him to the enchanted forest not three days travel from the palace. The grass beneath the waterfall was so soft they wouldn't even need mats.

It would be a surprise. He'd come into into Loki's quarters just before dawn and tell him "Ready your provisions. You and I will depart from the palace in a quarter hour's time."

Loki, of course, would already be up, practicing his spellwork at his desk by the window. (Was it still by the window? When was the last time Odin set foot in his younger son's chambers?) Such an early riser, his son. Or maybe he wouldn't be up yet. Maybe Loki stayed up late the night before, trying to perfect his latest trick. Maybe his son would still be asleep and Odin would rouse him, waiting patiently while Loki emerged from his slumber, sleep-mussed and vulnerable like he used to be when he slept wedged between his mother and father as a child. Then Odin would tell him gently "Come. I have a surprise for you; follow me."

And Loki would trust him.

They would arrive at the stables and prepare their own horses. Odin would leave Sleipnir. He wanted his son and he to be at an equal advantage and so they would both take standard steeds. Finally, Loki would burst forth with all the questions he'd been dying to ask.

"Where are we going?"

"How long are we staying?'

"When is Thor coming?"

And this part, this part Odin could not wait to divulge. "Thor is not coming. You and I are going ahead for a trip of our own. Just the two of us. I want to talk to just you for a little while."

And at that, Loki would fall silent. His mouth would run dry and he'd gaze up at his father with a face full of adoration and love (like he used to).

Once they arrived, Odin would show Loki all the splendor of that magnificent forest. Probably, Odin now realized, Loki already ventured into the forest dozens of times before, but Odin could show him new marvels. The wild orchids at the top of the falls. Or the honeysuckles that attract the most exotic, colorful birds. He'd even show Loki which ponds are shelter to the musk-stink toad Loki so desperately needs to develop that impenetrable stink potion he thinks no one knows about.

There are griffins that nest not two leagues west from where they will make camp. Hunting them is great sport; to bring home a few griffins heads together would earn the admiration of all Asgard…Except, Odin reminds himself, Loki is not overly fond of hunting. And he thought the griffins majestic. No, this trip there would be no hunt, no quest for glory. This trip would be all about what Loki wanted, what Loki liked.

And later that night, they would lie in the warm light of the fire a few yards from the falls. Odin would tell stories of wit and cunning like Loki enjoys. The ones Thor used to call "boring".

Then after a few of Odin's stories, Loki would start in with a few of his own. Tales of his adventures with magic, or tales of when his mischief making slipped from his control, resulting in catastrophes even Odin would laugh at.

It would be a perfect day, Odin decided. Followed by another perfect day. And another. Until on the last night of their trip they will lay by the fire once more and this time Odin would ask Loki if anything was the matter, back home. If he had any problems he wished to discuss or advice he needed.

And Loki would tell him. Tell him of his troubles with Thor and Thor's friends. Tell him how he sometimes felt like people thought less of him than they thought of Thor. Tell Odin how he thought Thor was not ready for the throne.

And this time, Odin would listen. Hear his problems and offer advice. Really take all of his warnings about Thor under consideration, this time. And tell Loki that he did not think less of Loki than he thought of Thor. That he loved both his sons equally. That he need his youngest's cunning to help run the kingdom. That he loved Loki, loved his magic and clever tricks, loved his smile and laugh and presence. And he would tell Loki this over and over, until Loki believed him.

Then, he would lay a gentle hand at the back of Loki's neck and tell him the most important story. The story of a battle-weary old man finding an abandoned baby in a temple wracked with war. A child whose beautiful smile restored his sense of purpose and gave him new reason to rise in the morning. Not for war, but for peace,.

And, this time, he would hold Loki close as his son shook with the revelation. No matter how hard his son pushed, Odin would hold him through his tears and—this time—Loki would reach out for him, too.

His advisors were becoming impatient now, vying for his full attention like two children. He couldn't bring himself to give it. Couldn't bring himself to choose between any two people, any more.

A trip, he thought. That's what we'll do. A real father-son trip.

Their first father-son trip.

That night, Odin stands like a ghost on top of a shattered bridge, watching himself.. 'How many times' he thinks 'must I live out this Hel until my slumbering mind finds other ways to torment me..

He stands next to himself, looking briefly at the millenniums-old armor he'd first worn when they'd declared him Odin the All-wise, Odin the All-seeing. His fragmented heart splinters at the memory.

Below, his sons hang over the abyss. Loki is shouting at him, voice and eyes and expression begging him to hear, to listen. But his other self, he knows, is looking away, looking at the destruction Loki wrought. The Bifrost will take decades to fix and relations with Jotunheim even longer. Thor looks battle-torn, anguished by the chaos around him.

If Thor is anguished than Loki is devastated. If the Bifrost is broken than Loki is shattered. His whole being is an open, bleeding wound as he struggles to grasp some last shred of hope. Of love.

Odin can see what's coming, now, when it's too late. He's tried. Every night he tries. He yells and begs and thrusts Gungnir out to Loki because what would Loki think if he knew his father stood by and watched him fall over and over again? He's failed Loki before; he refuses to fail him again.

'Pull them up!' Odin screams 'Now! While there's still a chance!'

But other-Odin does not listen to his son, not well enough to see how close to the edge he really is. Not well enough to even consider the effect of his next words.

"No, Loki."

Odin the All-seeing does not realize Loki's grip is loosening until it is too late.

Odin the grieving, heart-broken old man can't bring himself to watch this again. Can't bring himself to watch his baby boy drift off into an abyss with only the shattered shards of their family for company. His heart simply cannot take it.

So, with one last roar, Odin flings himself from the bridge.

He starts awake to the still-darkened Aesir sky. His breathing is labored and he turns to his wife, hoping for comfort. But the other side of the bed is cold. Frigga, Odin remembers, now chooses to reside in other chambers.

He can't remain in these halls any longer. Each room and wall and corner is a reminder of what he's lost. He'll set out alone in the morning. He's given Thor enough time.

Even if he has to drag him, Odin is bringing his son home.