Previously posted as part of a Multifandom Drabble Collection.
Requester: medoraly
Fandom: Twilight
Pairing: Jacob/Leah
Word/Situation: I've got blood in my mouth 'cause I've been biting my tongue all week
Approximate Timeline: Post Eclipse
Title: Surrender
Author: Winter Ashby (rosweldrmr)
Disclaimer: Twilight © Stephanie Meyers
Rating: K+
Summary: She watched him. (Jacob/Leah)
Authors Notes: Done at pinkceptional's TWILIGHT UNCANON DRABBLE REQUEST MEME at LJ
She watched him.
Sometimes.
When she was bored, or vindictive, or Leah.
She watched him for signs of cracks. Like a damn inspector.
She was just worried about flooding, about the water under him that would wash her away. It was self-preservation, really, that made her care, or notice at all. She didn't want to drown in him, in his petulant sorrow.
She saw it better, perhaps, than anyone did. She saw him, and it. That thing, that twisted, angry, vengeful thing that ate away at him. Like a monster clawing it's way out, tearing and ripping and devouring everything that made him Jacob Black.
He was letting the monster win.
And she hated it. She hated it, because she'd known him her whole life. Before this, before her before all of it. She hated it because she knew he was better than this, he was better than pinning and self-absorbed pity. He was a Black.
And he was losing to the darkness.
She wanted to walk away, forget it, forget him. Imagine none of it mattered, imagine he didn't matter, imagine she was still in love with Sam.
She was sick of dreaming of that sickly-pale stick. She was tired of pretending she cared if the precious little thing lived or died or disappeared forever. And all the hate that she used to devote to Sam and Emily and the perfect life that was taken from her was slowly transformed into a loathing for anything that reminded her of Bella Swan. Until she forgot to be spiteful, or that she was an outsider, or that she ever loved Sam at all.
She wouldn't phase for a week, because she knew she couldn't hide it. And so long as she was human, she could just bite her tongue – watch his self-destruction in festering silence. But if he was in her head, thinking those thoughts she could read well-enough without a physic connection, she knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself.