Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I profit from Janet's characters.

Lester's POV

The last thing I remembered was feeling a prick on my arm and then nothing. Now after waking up, I'm bound, gagged and stuffed into a tiny box. What the hell happened to me? I know I had finished my surveilance shift and had gone back to my apartment. I changed out of my uniform and was watching basketball on TV when I heard a knock at my door. I remember opening it, but nothing after that. What the hell?

Now it was getting a little difficult to breath in this box. Where are the air holes? Damn, I have to take a leak. Why does this crap always happen to me? My mind was racing, until I heard muffled murmuring coming from outside the box. I shifted myself a little to place my ear on the side of the box, but it did no good. The sound didn't get any clearer. All of a sudden the box began to move. Holy, Crap! It's on wheels. Where are they taking me? Wait a minute... where am I in the first place? After what seemed like forever, the box stood still.

I breathed a temporary sigh of relief before the box began to sway. Crap! Now we're in a vehicle, where are we going? We drove for a little while before we stopped. I sat in that box, for what seemed an eternity. The feeling of being moved down a ramp and across a flat surface made me finally lose my cool. Where the hell am I and who did I piss off to deserve this kind of treatment? I couldn't think of anything I may have said or done to Ranger to piss him off lately. Or any of the guys, as a matter of fact. The only one I have teased or ticked off was... OH GOD! NO! Please no!

I paled and began to sweat profusely. Crap! I pissed off Beautiful last week and she vowed to get revenge. Is this her revenge? I am so dead meat. The sound of music thumping in the background made me pause to listen. Yep, that's a good club beat. Wait! Why is there music? Oh, crap! I'm not liking this situation more and more as time goes by. What does she have up her sleeve? I rested my forehead against the box and took a deep breath to calm myself. Huh! It smells like cake.

The sound of a familiar song made it's way into my little box. At the end I could hear people clapping, and then I was moved again, but only a short distance. I could hear clapping and shouting. What the hell is going on? I could feel the sweat from my face rolling down my chest. Wait, how can I feel that? The ralization hit me like a ton of bricks. OH MY GOD! I'M NAKED! I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed this was not Beautiful's revenge. All of a sudden I felt the bottom of the box squeezing my upward. I pushed against the top and was pushed through.

The rush of cold air on my skin felt good, until I heard thee gasps and then eventual screams of a bunch of women. I turned around to see 30 women staring at me as if I were chocolate cake. I looked down to find that I had been carefully wrapped with a big red ribbon, thankfully, strategic places had been covered. Whew! I heard Beautiful's voice over the loudspeaker of the club we were in, "Happy birthday Grandma Mazur! I hope you liked what I picked out for you." I raised my eyes in horror to see Edna Mazur making her way across the dancefloor to me. I tried desperately to wriggle out of the ribbon and ropes, but to no avail.

"Ain't that a pip! My Grandbaby went and got me my very own MerryMan! And he's a hot one too. Check out his package!" I think I fainted because the next thing I know, Bobby's taking my pulse and waving smelling salts under my nose.

"Oh, god! I had the worst dream ever. I dreamed I was kidnapped by Beautiful and stuffed into a box. I popped out and she gave me to Grandma Mazur as a birthday gift." I closed my eyes and rested my head on the cool floor beneath me.

"Santos!" I jumped to attention at the sound of Ranger's voice. The smirk on his face was unnerving, so I looked down. In total shock, I saw myself still wrapped in the big red ribbon. The ropes had been cut away, but the ribbon which was keeping me modest, remained. I was covered in some type of baked good and frosting, it smelled wonderful, but felt horrible. "Edna's waiting for her gift to take her to dinner."

"Sir." I replied, trying not to pass out again.

"Come on Hottie. Let's roll. You can clean up at my place." Grandma stated and grabbed my hand leading me out of the club.

Ranger's POV

"Babe. That was pure evil."

"Thanks. I try." Steph smiled as she waved goodbye to an obviously pissed Lester.

"Where in the world did you come up with this one?" I asked, brushing my finger along the nape of her neck.

"I've still got connections at the Tasty Pastry. Hugo baked me one of those hollow cakes that women usually jumpout of. Only this one we had to enlarge it so Les could fit. I had Bobby help me stick him with the sedative, and Hector and I wrapped Les up."

"Hector, Babe?" I grinned.

"I needed someone to wrap up his doodles." She grinned, "I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole." I laughed so hard I think I saw stars.

After getting myself back under control I asked my Babe, "You promise me sonething?" I wrapped her into a massive hug, face to face.

"Anything." She answered as she nuzzled my neck.

"Let me jump out of the cake for your birthday?"

"OH BOY!"

A/N: Thanks for letting me share this little ditty with you. Today is my birthday and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. It was just too good. I hope what transpired in my head was able to be translated onto paper, well in this case the computer screen effectively. Besides, who wouldn't want Lester to pop out of a cake for their birthday? Yummy!