Ripped
Disclaimer: Not mine never will be.
I hate it. All of it. The lake so calm. I hate it. The squid so peaceful. I hate it. Everyone is so sorry. I hate it.
They have no clue. It's empty. All so empty. Nothing. Repeatedly seeing the scene when she died. No idea where her body is. I hate them. Why did they do it? Locked me out, left me, left alone nothing to do to help. But I don't hate them. I love them. Well, used to. The feelings have been ripped from me. Life ripped. People said that I would get through this. What the fuck do they know? And who the fuck do they think they are? All the same. It's like a broken record.
"I am so sorry dear. Please understand their reasons. They did it to protect you.."
It's a bit of a game really. You laugh. People stare and you laugh. A loud hollow mirthless laugh. But I can't keep it up anymore. The mask, the facade. I hate them. Then she came to me. Her eyes were warm with sincerity. She didn't speak just hugged me. Exactly the way I had always wished. The way best friends did. Like we had done every Saturday when we met up. But I pushed her away. Her eyes filled with tears. Her mouth dropped. Her body sagged like it had had a ton of weight placed on her solders and her face aged a thousand years. Her worst fears I knew I had confirmed. The group had split up. So close in life but now parted through death. The very opposite we had sworn would not happen had. We had broken.
Now I'm here by the lake alone. I've seen her round yeah, but she's alone. She's not the girl I knew. Over the top, up for anything, hyper girl who would try anything once. She's quite and withdrawn. Her marks are dropping. She's given up. All because of me. And I hate myself for what I have done to us. To us all. To our group. Because of their fight. Not mine or in fact any of ours. Just her and my girlfriends fight. And she came back. Mine girlfriend of two years didn't. Two long, amazing years. And she even let the basterd take her body. I don't even get that. But she survived didn't she. Not my girlfriend. And I hate her for it.
I hate it. All of it. The lake so calm. I hate it. The squid so peaceful. I hate it. Everyone is so sorry. I hate it.
They have no clue. It's empty. All so empty. Nothing. Repeatedly seeing the scene when she died. No idea where her body is. I hate them. Why did they do it? Locked me out, left me, left alone nothing to do to help. But I don't hate them. I love them. Well, used to. The feelings have been ripped from me. Life ripped. People said that I would get through this. What the fuck do they know? And who the fuck do they think they are? All the same. It's like a broken record.
"I am so sorry dear. Please understand their reasons. They did it to protect you.."
It's a bit of a game really. You laugh. People stare and you laugh. A loud hollow mirthless laugh. But I can't keep it up anymore. The mask, the facade. I hate them. Then she came to me. Her eyes were warm with sincerity. She didn't speak just hugged me. Exactly the way I had always wished. The way best friends did. Like we had done every Saturday when we met up. But I pushed her away. Her eyes filled with tears. Her mouth dropped. Her body sagged like it had had a ton of weight placed on her solders and her face aged a thousand years. Her worst fears I knew I had confirmed. The group had split up. So close in life but now parted through death. The very opposite we had sworn would not happen had. We had broken.
Now I'm here by the lake alone. I've seen her round yeah, but she's alone. She's not the girl I knew. Over the top, up for anything, hyper girl who would try anything once. She's quite and withdrawn. Her marks are dropping. She's given up. All because of me. And I hate myself for what I have done to us. To us all. To our group. Because of their fight. Not mine or in fact any of ours. Just her and my girlfriends fight. And she came back. Mine girlfriend of two years didn't. Two long, amazing years. And she even let the basterd take her body. I don't even get that. But she survived didn't she. Not my girlfriend. And I hate her for it.