By: Ami
Beta Reader: Myst
-- SHUT UP -- Noisiness is goldDISCLAIMER : No own, no money, no sue. *bows down*
GENRE : Humor/Romance
PAIRING : Sanzou/Goku, Goku/Sanzou
SUMMARY : In the middle of the journey, Goku finally manages to spurt out the historical 'I love you' words to Sanzou. But then, Sanzou tells him to shut up. Is it really a rejection?
WARNING : Sappy, fluffy, insane, OOC, some curses…
Here we go…
Goku chants the spell Hakkai recommended this morning. He just told Hakkai about his plan to confess his love to Sanzou this night. Now, he is feeling as nervous as hell. Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he carefully settles his hair and his clothes.
//What tone should I use? A soft tone, or a determined tone?//
He coughs and tries his 'I love you' for the nth time.
//Sounds no good.//
He sighs helplessly and looks at himself in the mirror. What a helpless, nervous, pathetic face. Now he hates himself. He hates his coward ness. He hates his slowness. He hates for being a noisy baka that Sanzou hates.
//Probably he will just tell me to shut up.// He smiles weakly. //Or may be he'll turn and walk away without a word. Yes. That's just SO him.//
"Go away, Bakazaru. Stop bothering me."
Goku puts his forehead onto the big mirror in front of him. Just by imagining how Sanzou will reject him, he lost half his courage.
//No. I Must be confident.// He makes a face in front of the mirror. //Sanzou hates a weak person. I must grow strong. I mustn't look weak in front of him.//
"Goku."
Goku raises his head and blinks at the smiling brunette behind him.
"It's dinner time." Hakkai informs him with a smile. "You're going to do it after dinner, right?"
Goku blushes and nods.
"Good." Hakkai puts a hand on Goku's shoulder. "Gambatte."
Goku nods again and throws out a nervous smile.
"Ano… Hakkai… maybe… I should call it off …" he talks nervously.
"Why?" Hakkai widens his eyes in surprise. "You've been preparing for it for a month."
"I know—but—I don't think I can bear Sanzou's rejection." Goku looks at the floor blankly. "I am afraid."
Hakkai smiles again and pats Goku's head. "It has been 7 years," he whispers. "I bet he's been waiting for this time, too."
"Waiting---?" Goku blinks.
//Oops… bad me… mustn't say that Sanzou has been having wet dreams about Goku…// Hakkai lets out a mischievous grin. "I mean—you can't hide it forever. Sooner or later, you'll have to confess."
"Aa." Goku nods and smiles, "I'm sorry. I'm just too much of a coward."
"That's OK. Me too—I mean--that's--very natural." Hakkai chuckles. //Mustn't tell him that I felt the same way when I was going to confess to Gojyo--//
"OK." Goku stands up cheerfully. "I'll do it!"
"Good!" Hakkai smiles. "Now, let's go and have dinner."
"Yay~!"
***
Goku doesn't feel like eating. He's so nervous that he can't protect his food from the hungry kappa. He just keeps looking at Sanzou and turns away when Sanzou glares back at him. Gulping nervously, Goku doesn't even finish one plate while Gojyo has eaten 5 plates plus 10 pork buns.
"Hey…" Gojyo narrows one eye at his fighting partner. "Are you catching a cold?"
Hakkai chuckles and Goku keeps his head down.
"Why the hell do you eat like a princess?" Gojyo looks at him confusedly. "Listen, Saru, I don't know what on the earth the bouzu has done to you, but you're not allowed to confuse a handsome guy like me!"
*CLICK*
"What do you mean by 'SOMETHING I DID TO HIM'?" Sanzou glares at Gojyo dangerously.
"Err… I mean—" Gojyo gulps at the gun on his forehead. "Maybe—he's really catching a cold."
"Ch." Sanzou pulls back his gun and puts it inside his bottomless spandex. "Oi, Saru."
"Y—Yes, Sanzou?" Goku almost chokes his food.
"Go to sleep now. We're going to depart at 7 tomorrow. I don't want to be delayed by a stupid sick monkey here." Sanzou speaks in his usual, icy tone.
Goku nervously looks at Hakkai. Hakkai swallows and takes the signal. Goku needs help.
"Ano, Sanzou…" he starts, "I have checked him. He isn't hot. I don't think he is sick."
Sanzou narrows his eyes suspiciously to the two strange companions in front of him.
"So—maybe—he mustn't sleep now. It's still too early." Hakkai continues with his plastered smile.
Sanzou keeps narrowing his eyes on them suspiciously. They're strange. They are definitely hiding something. But he can't figure out just what the hell it is. Sanzou turns his eyes to the reddening Goku. His monkey doesn't seem so healthy. At times like this, not even the God can stop him from saving his pet from an evil cold. But he'd choose to die rather than admitting his concern to his secret crush.
"You. Go. To. Bed. Now." Sanzou lowers his tone.
Goku bites his lip disappointedly. Now there's no way he can admit his feelings…
"Sanzou." Hakkai unexpectedly stands up and looks at Sanzou stubbornly. "He mustn't go to bed now."
Goku gasps at Hakkai's unusual attitude while Gojyo is making a good imitation of a goldfish. He's never seen his lover get so determined like this.
"None of your business. He IS sick and I DIDN'T ask for your suggestion." Sanzou glares at Hakkai peevishly.
"But you didn't check on him yet. How on Earth would you know that he caught a cold?" Hakkai keeps his tone calm.
"My senses are still healthy and sane. I know that he is sick. I am his master. I am his feeder. I have the right to drag him wherever I want." Sanzou holds his breath in anger. Why the hell is Hakkai being so stubborn about Goku? Who IS he for Goku? Not that he can freely show his affection toward the stupid monkey so he shows off in front of Sanzou. He now feels a slight jealousy toward the smiley brunette.
"But, Sanzou—"
"Hakkai, stop it." Goku holds Hakkai's arm. "I—I'll go to bed now."
"But—" Hakkai looks at Goku sadly. "You haven't—"
"Don't worry about me." Goku smiles weakly. "I promise I will."
Hakkai sighs and hesitantly sits back. "Good luck."
Goku nods and walks upstairs as Sanzou told him to.
Gojyo looks at Hakkai and makes a mental note to ask his lover if something has happened between Sanzou, Goku, and he.
Meanwhile, Sanzou has stopped eating. There's no way he can eat while his saru is suffering from something strange. He rises from his seat and walks upstairs.
"Hey, Bouzu, wanna cuddle your little—" Gojyo gasps as Hakkai suddenly shuts him up with a kiss.
"Don't do that." Hakkai whispers as Gojyo turns redder than his hair. "Sanzou HAS to make a move now. Don't disturb him, OK?"
Gojyo nods and innocently looks at Hakkai. He didn't know Hakkai could be so manly with that serious expression.
"Hakkai…" he whispers, "I think I've fallen in love with you again …"
Hakkai smiles and caresses his lover's cheek with one slender hand. "Then, have me."
***
Sanzou looks at Goku's door hesitantly. He IS a cold bastard. Taking care of the monkey is definitely so UN-him. But…
"I—I'll go to bed now."
Sanzou mutters a soft "bakazaru" before putting a hand onto the doorknob. The saru won't get away after throwing him such a sad face.
***
"I'm stupid…" Goku looks at himself in the mirror with a sad smile. "Hakkai tried to help me… and I still failed… Stupid me… Sanzou and Gojyo are right… I AM a bakazaru."
Goku tiredly lays his head onto the pillow. Thank God each of them got separate rooms tonight. He needs to be alone now. Being alone and think out a solution. Maybe confessing to Sanzou wasn't the best way out… Maybe he can do something else to reflect his love to his guardian. Maybe he'll just stick with him for the rest of his life… He'll just accompany him like usual… Maybe that's the best… Maybe that's what Sanzou wants…
//But there's a possibility that Sanzou wants me to keep away from him… so sticking with him isn't a good solution, either…//
Goku puts his face onto the pillow and starts to sob. Love hurts. Love is pain. Love is patience. He holds his breath and closes his eyes.
"Bakazaru."
Goku blinks and turns his head to the source of the voice. That's the voice. The low-toned, baritone voice… the voice of his savior, his guardian, his keeper, his everything in the last 7 years…
"Sanzou?" he wipes away the tears forming in his eyes. "What are you doing here?"
Without a word, Sanzou leans down and sits on the bed. Goku was about to mutter the second question, but just then, Sanzou takes off his gloves and puts a hand on Goku's forehead.
Goku turns red and hot. Sanzou is… actually touching him.
Sanzou never liked skin-contact with others. He always kept others' dirty hands away from him. He cocks his gun to people in a 2 meters radius from him—moreover touching him? They'll die before laying a finger on Sanzou.
Goku gasps as Sanzou moves his ungloved hand to his neck. It seems that he is checking his temperature.
"San—"
"Shut up." Sanzou cuts his words with his piercing tone. "I don't think you're catching a cold."
Goku pouts, "I told you!"
"No, you didn't." Sanzou puts his gloves back on, "Hakkai did."
"Naa… it's just the same—"
"No, it isn't." Sanzou snarls again. Thinking about Hakkai returns his earlier upset.
"Why?" Goku widens his eyes.
Sanzou looks at Goku, and, for the nth time in 7 years, he silently curses himself for being so attached with his monkey's dumb expression.
"Imagine things like this…" Sanzou sighs, "A stranger comes to you and tells you that there's a fire in your house. What would you do?"
"Me…? A stranger? Maybe he's lying! I won't believe him!" Goku answers after thinking a while.
"It's the same case, Saru." Sanzou snorts, silently hoping that the saru will get what he meant.
"But—" Goku's eyes turn wider and dumber. "What is the connection between fire and Hakkai?"
*THUD*
Sanzou sweat drops. His monkey isn't getting any smarter…
"Ch. Forget it. Now, just sleep." Sanzou stands up and walks to the door.
Goku watches as Sanzou closes the door. He carefully listens to Sanzou's footsteps in the corridor. In a few seconds, Sanzou would be back inside his room and he won't be able to catch the sounds he makes… again.
Sighing, Goku lays his head back onto the pillow. But this time he's smiling. There's always tomorrow night.
***
Goku stands hesitantly in front of Sanzou's room. It is the day… it is the historical day. Gulping nervously, Goku collects all his courage to knock at the door. But, just before he knocks one finger onto the door, the door slams open and in the next second, a gun is on his forehead.
"Goku?" Sanzou narrows one eye to his ex-suspicious-stranger-who-keeps-walking-in-front-of-his-room. He quickly retreats his gun.
Goku exhales nervously. "You droopy eyed monk! You almost killed me!"
"Urusai! I wouldn't have done it if you weren't walking back and forth in front of *MY* room, Saru!" Sanzou snarls back with a glare.
Goku blushes and soon remembers his earlier mission. This time, he has to do this.
"Ano—S---Sanzou—actually—" he swallows nervously. "I---I---I want to---"
"Snap it out, Saru. I don't have the whole world's time for you." Sanzou looks at him impatiently. "And one warning: No midnight supper."
"I wasn't going to speak about a trivial thing like that, Sanzou!" Goku looks at Sanzou peevishly. That blonde just won't let him finish his sentence!
"Trivial?" Sanzou cutely widens his eyes. Goku actually said that—food is trivial…?
Goku can't help but grin at Sanzou's cute expression. It isn't everyday you can see the priest with wide violet eyes and a stunned expression, you know. Maybe he should do this a bit more often.
"Actually—I—" Goku turns redder and redder, "I—I—I---I love you, Sanzou!"
And they go silent.
Goku really wants to lift his head and look at Sanzou's expression, but he just can't. He doesn't dare to. He's afraid that Sanzou is making a disgusted face or something related to that, so he just keeps bowing down and closes his eyes, ready for any TWACKS or even gunshots.
//Sanzou must be mad to me now…// Goku tightly shuts his eyes. //Oh no… he's probably going to yell at me… he's going to call me stupid and—and—he'll definitely reject me!//
Goku holds his breath. It has been 30 seconds and Sanzou hasn't said anything.
//I knew it… this is wrong…// Goku sighs. The tears are forming in his golden eyes. Sanzou is probably too mad to even yell. //I have to make it up… Then, I'll just give up confessing to him. Maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I should've just stayed silent and follow him like the pet I am…//
"Sanzou…" he lifts his head to find Sanzou's stunned face. "I—I know—I know I'm wrong—I know I shouldn't have wished that much on you—You can't possibly love me in return because—because—" Goku starts to sob, "Because you hate me—Because I am noisy—But I really love you—and--you—"
"Damn you, Monkey!" Sanzou's irritated tone rings like an angel's voice in his ears, "What the hell are you waiting for? Just shut up and kiss me!"
And so he does.
Sometimes… words aren't the fittest way to express your love.
Good night, everybody.
September 7th 2003
Ami
~ OWARI ~
…………kinda… too… sappy… I think… =_=;;;;;;;;;; Don't blame me—blame the opening song of FRUITS BASKET! It gets me so damn sappy~! Anyway… tell me what you think.