My first Buffy Fic. Non Beta'ed. Second ever fic shared. I always forget this bit - I own nothing. Literally. I think my kids own more than I do and they can't tie their own shoes yet. This means that I do not own any of the Whedon Universe. Pretty sure the mug I am drinking my tea out of is the neighbours... Like the mug, I am just borrowing everyone and I will return them when I am done, hopefully not chipped... whoops
She watched as the young women and girls moved across the mats, pairs and small groups trading blows and kicks. Hands on her hips, she wordlessly circled the room, occasionally dodging rolling girls and ducking fists and feet. As she finished the latest circuit and stood quietly at the front of the room, a bell echoed off in the hallway and the girls stopped their sparring. Waiting until there was silence and she had their attention, she tonelessly went through the day's training. With as few words as possible, she went about pointing out lapses and openings, complementing where required until finally, she dismissed the group.
Silence fell in the now empty room. Buffy set about straightening the crash mats, returning the odd sword to its position on the wall, closing the cupboards that lined one wall, full of stakes, axes and other weapons.
Routine. Predictable and repetitive. Safe.
Next was to go eat in the dining hall with Dawn for their Friday night catch-up, take the Friday group out for patrol, shower, lay in bed until morning. Start again. Go where she was told, do what was expected, speak when needed only. Nothing more, nothing less.
She didn't even sigh at the boringness of it all. Frankly, boring didn't even register.
It was what it was.
This was her life now.
Nothing really mattered since they left Sunnydale as a massive crater.
13 months earlier
It had been a two weeks since they defeated the Turok-han. They had raced towards LA with injured slayers and taken refuge at the Hyperion. Angel and his team were there with medical supplies and those slayers who were beyond battlefield doctoring were taken to the hospital. It had only taken about a week before nearly all the slayers were well enough to move on. But Giles had not been dawdling in the recovery time. Between him and Willow, they were able to hack into the Council's database and activated the emergency protocols. They were now 'The Council' for all intents and purposes. The Scoobies had been shocked and furious when they had discovered the financial accounts of the old council. Let's just say that paying for Buffy to have a full college ride would have been mere pocket change for the Council.
Buffy had barely blinked. She hadn't been surprised and now, no longer cared. She followed instruction, did what she was told and that was it. Routine.
Giles and Willow had immediately found the LA location and promptly moved out of the Hyperion and into the Council Compound with all the girls. It had been staffed by a skeleton crew who had been near hysterical with relief that someone was still alive and in charge and had immediately taken the battle weary girls under their care.
Buffy had drifted along with the tide, numb and blank. Dawn had barely left her sister's side, drowning in her own grief. Buffy had held her sister while the young girl howled her grief and anger over the loss of their friends and potentials. Buffy had stoked her hair, and forced her to eat and did everything a sister should do. But she felt nothing. She herself shed no tears, no scream of rage left her lips, no sobs echoed in her room. She welcomed the numbness, wrapped it around herself and stood tall.
As she always did.
But neither did she smile. She took no pleasure in even the smallest things. It was if she had reverted back to the time after Glory. Going through the motions. Only this time, she knew how to pretend better. She wasn't as stupid as everyone seemed to believe. Buffy now knew how to behave to limit the interference. It was better. Numb, busy and without thought was much safer than even contemplating the swirl of emotion that was locked tightly away and buried so so deeply.
Xander hadn't coped with the loss of Anya and retreated away into his rooms. It was only at Willow's urgings that Buffy went to him and between the two of them, had done the same for him that Buffy did for Dawn. Drawn him out and been with him as he raged and cried out his own grief.
By now, Giles and Willow had contacted the few surviving Council outposts. Any surviving retired Watchers and Council members and staff were contacted and badgered into service once more, after being assured that the First was no longer a threat. Slowly, the Watchers Council was re-established, this time under the leadership of Giles.
Next was to scour the earth, searching for the newly empowered Slayers and getting them to the LA compound. Younger girls, some as young as 14, were settled with Council families within the huge sprawling LA compound. Others that were older or more mature were settled in the college like dorm. Everything needed was onsite, and if it wasn't, well, money made it happen. Xander, lost and grieving, took this chance and chose to leave to search out new slayers, citing the need to be on his own, do something for him 'to find himself'. He disappeared into the world and the girls saw him only on the random occasions he came back to the compound, usually with a new charge in tow.
And Buffy, Buffy did what she was told, followed instructions and kept to her routine. And the cauldron of emotions simmered under its cap of numbness and the lock of routine.
Present Day
Buffy lay in her bed, waiting for her alarm to beep. Saturday. Saturdays were rest days for the girls and week staff. That meant that Buffy wasn't scheduled for classes, so she usually went and had breakfast with Dawn, then went and did her own training for the rest of the day. Most of the time, she had an audience of Young Slayers as they moved in and out like a sea tide, all watching the sombre Original Slayer like she was some kind of rock star.
She answered questions, trained any who wanted, but mostly she just lost herself in the movements.
Come Sunday, Buffy would meet Giles, Willow and Xander and some of the other trainers and houseparents for the weekly meeting. New slayers, training regimes, news – all the things that made the Council the council.
Buffy let it all wash over her like a gentle breeze, giving her report on the training and patrols, then sat back and blanked out.
She knew that the others could see it. She heard the Slayettes comment on her training. Her passionate lectures and rallying speeches that the Sunnydale Slayers remembered and retold in hushed whispers were legend, but never again repeated. Willow had been the most persistent in attempting to draw The Slayer out, but after a while, rebuffed repeatedly and then drawn away by her own work and new training, she had drifted away. Xander, after emerging from his own grief, had been dragged along in Willow's attempts but his own grief drew him away until he escaped.
For Dawn, Buffy put on the biggest show of 'normal'. Thankfully, Dawn had the resilience of youth and had been drawn away into the groups of teens that now lived at the compound. At over a 100 girls, there was forever something exciting happening.
Buffy didn't care. That was the long and short of it. She was done. She had done her time on the battle front and now, she merely waited out her existence, waiting for the next call to arms, the next war or battle. That was her sole reason for existing. Until she finished her time here and moved on.
She came back to her surroundings at the sounds of chairs being drawn back and people chatting happily at the end of another successful meeting. She was just about to stand herself when she heard a loud commotion from the hallway. Giles looked up as the door to the meeting room slammed open, the handle imbedding into the wall from the force.
Before Buffy could even take two steps, a black streak skidded across the table and suddenly Giles was flying backwards out of his chair. Standing over the fallen Watcher, was Faith, fists clenched and rearing back for another hit. Curses and insults flew from the brunette's mouth as Buffy finally grabbed the dark Slayer and tossed her back towards the door. Slamming to Robin Wood as he rounded the corner, Faith was back on her feet, screaming obscenities at Giles and now Buffy as well. Blood gushed from the Watcher's nose and he held his kerchief to the dripping mess. Willow muttered under her breath and a glowing light surrounded Giles.
"YOU GODDAMN SON OF A FUCKING WHORE! I'LL RIP YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LIVER OUT AND SHOVE IT BACK UP YOUR ASS!" Buffy stood protectively in front of Giles, watching with mild surprise that Robin didn't restrain the other Slayer, but in fact seemingly stood at her shoulder.
"I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A GUTLESS SHIT!" Buffy watched as Giles, replaced his glasses and looked down his swollen nose at the enraged girl screaming insults.
"Buffy, why don't you show the girls to another part of the floor and get us some privacy to discuss whatever has Faith so ... upset" Buffy instinctively ducked as the raging Slayer snatched a sword off the wall and threw it with precision accuracy at Giles' head. The protection spell Willow had cast glowed brightly for a split second and when it died down, the sword was motionless a foot away from Giles face as though stuck in the air. Buffy reached up and pulled it down and tossed it away into a corner. Raising a single eyebrow at the cluster of whispering Slayettes was all they needed to scatter and the last pulling shut the damaged doors as she left.
It took all of a few seconds, but in that time, Faith's face had gone from pure unadulterated rage, to a look of despair that Buffy was all too familiar with. She knew that if she could have felt anything, now would have had the hairs on the back of her neck standing up.
"Now Faith, if you could please..." Giles started in his most pompous voice, one he had started using once he had become the leader of the watchers council. Buffy found herself on more than one occasion thinking she could easily hate that tone. But Faith cut him off.
"Shut the fuck up! I don't wanna hear anything that comes out of your fucking mouth!" Faith screamed. Tears were now streaming down her face and Buffy felt a merest twinge at the sight of the most controlled person she knew breaking down in front of her eyes.
"Just ONE reason, you donkey raping ass monkey!" Faith fairly quivered in her sorrow and rage, Robin placing a hand on her shoulder merely emphasised the violence that was wracking her strong body.
"Why don't we discuss this when you are calmer..." Giles started again, this time Buffy noticed the look shared between the Witch and the Watcher. The hairs on her arms definitely rose this time. For the first time in a year, Buffy felt something. And it wasn't good. She flicked between everyone in the room and suddenly knew that she didn't want to hear this. Faith lunged and Giles flinched, even safe behind his protective wall, as her fury was that palpable.
"I DID WHAT WAS BEST!" He roared at the sobbing furious slayer. "I did what was needed" Pompous was an understatement.
Faith literally spat at him.
"Well, now I will do 'what is needed'! We're done. We're GONE! Fuck you, you arrogant piece of shit! If I ever see you again, I will CUT OFF YOUR GODDAMN HEAD!" Faith picked up the chair beside her and threw it against the protective barrier, the chair instantly slivers of wood. "ANGEL DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE! NONE OF THEM DID! You killed them as surely as if you cut them down yourself!"Faith suddenly collapsed, Robin catching her before she hit the floor. "They didn't deserve to die" she sobbed. She looked up and stared straight at the two behind the shield. "Their blood is on YOUR hands, you fucking cunt! Gunn, Illyria, Angel, "she sobbed a gasp "Spike, they didn't deserve that!"
Buffy's world ended.
Hope you liked my first public foray into the Buffyverse. Like all my stories, I have NO idea whats going to happen until it happens. Sucky way to write apparently, but I hate getting ahead of myself. I love watching it unfold as if written by someone else...
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