Rose Doll

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei.

Warnings: Hisoka mental abuse, and Muraki being Muraki.

Tossed away like a ragged doll,

These strings that bind me.

Make me dance, make me hurt, make me scream,

behind these glass eyes of mine.

Shattered and tattered as you twist and turn me,

Ever to your will I shall be,

My angel master that breaks and binds me.

Within sleep you come, strings so sharp it hurts, bleeding me dry yet never dying,

As you won't allow me to.

Your cruel and gentle touch, such sweetness that falls from passionate lips,

Deceives me so entirely, as I give and allow you to pull my strings.

Because I'm your doll. Your pretty little puppet that bleeds when you want me to, that screams when you ask me to, that cries when you plead me to.

I cannot escape, this wretched fate, no one to save me from this hell, because I'm nothing, but a priceless doll.

Chapter 1

It didn't matter that he was dead, didn't matter what he had been through, that he had seen things normal people shouldn't have to deal with. How he hated that, not knowing anything. Oh, but he knew that they knew, they always did, and they never thought to inform him.

Maybe he was just that unimportant in the scheme of things because there was always something going on, always something! And it made him so angry because they were all nothing but a bunch of string less puppets that danced to someone else's tune. He smiled bitterly. But he should be used to that shouldn't he, he was only a puppet after all, a tarnished, broken doll that could not fight the strings pulled so tightly over his cursed body. Nothing but a stupid, childish little doll.

Stupid to think that anything would change after Kyoto, stupid to think that , that stupid fool of a partner would trust him. Stupid to think that they would all trust him. His lips trembled and he bit them harshly in retaliation. Was he that desperate to fit in?

He slowed in his hurried rush, hair blowing into his eyes and obscuring his tear stained face. Perhaps, that was the case, because they were the only ones that cared, the only ones who treated him like he was one of their own. Was he foolish for getting so angry at the secrecy? No, he couldn't have been.

It was obvious that they all knew something and was hiding it from him. Even Tsuzuki…

"You idiot….you stupid idiot. How could you…" He trailed off and once again pumped his legs because he wanted to get away, had to get away from it. Yes, even Hisoka could admit to himself that he was running away, but now was not the time to care.

Legs burning in exhaustion and his chest heaving with the effort to breath, the boy finally stopped and glanced up to take in his surroundings. He was in the park, right where Tsuzuki and he had finally accepted each other as partners.

His mouth twisted into a humorless smile. Why was he not surprised? He stumbled forward, resting his hands on the railing and looked out just as he did so long ago, and it felt like it had been decades.

Though he was sure that he wouldn't forget pulling out a gun on his new partner because he had thought he was a vampire. The memory of those startle amethyst eyes made his smile just a little more genuine.

He shook his head to dispel those thoughts and turned, deciding that going back to Meifu would be the best thing, least Tsuzuki be looking for him. He couldn't be away from that idiot for more than two hours before he came looking for him. It was a flattering, but annoying concept.

His eyes glanced up from the ground and he froze, staring right into a pair of mismatched eyes of blue and silver. A slow smile spread across those pale lips, a pleasant expression for someone who didn't know what this man was. But to Hisoka, that smile meant everything to him, because that was the smile that killed him.

……………

He was scared of this man, but never so frightened as of now, with those eyes trained solely on him with focused intensity, the eyes of a man that knew when he was in control, and loving every second of it. And Hisoka too knew who was in control, who would always be in control, and the fear that crippled him could not be hidden from such knowledge.

Those eyes finally looked away to glance around him in a slow, knowful way that sent chills down the boys insides before settling again on him.

"I expected Tsuzuki-san to be with you." He said as if they talked everyday and were good, old friends. "Has he upset you?"

Hisoka's mouth pressed tightly together as if in defiance of speaking but that only served to make the doctor's smile widen in pleased pleasure. And that was what made Hisoka respond.

"That's none of your business." And it came our harsh and gritty and he couldn't stop from wincing as the doctor tilted his head, smile disappearing and lips pursing as he appeared to think it over.

Those eyes looked at him then, really looked at him, and the boy felt as if he was staring straight into his soul and maybe he was. "You've been crying." He said and Hisoka didn't know how he knew as he had made sure to wipe the tears away.

That smile appeared again, footsteps almost beating in time with Hisoka's heart as the doctor approached, eyes twinkling when Hisoka took just as many steps away. The boy's back hit the railing and he froze as he realized that Muraki was much closer than he had thought as pale hands gripped the railing on each side of him. His body bent backwards to keep away from the body that followed but had to stop in fear of leaning to far and falling over the railing.

He clenched his eyes shut as warmth surrounded him, hands that no longer gripped the railing but his body instead. Hot breath blew into his ears, sounding almost painfully loud in his panicked state. Lips pressed faintly against his ear lobe in a mocking caress.

"What could you have possibly done to make Tsuzuki-san so angry with you?" That soft, pleasant voice whispered, the boy in his arms gasping and shuddering as pale fingers teased an equally pale stomach. "Perhaps," That voice chuckled, "he is finally getting tired of you?"

"No-"

"Yes." That voice interrupted smoothly, arms tightening as the boy tried to struggle free. "You know its true Bouya. Such a troublesome burden you are."

"No!" Hisoka's voice came out in a high pitched gasp as he twisted and turned, but he just could not break free. Burning pain raced throughout his body and he realized with horror that the curse was burning vividly across his skin in sweeping lines of blood red.

"Red always looked so good on you." Muraki smiled, a hand pulling Hisoka's face to look at him. How he loved to see those vibrant green eyes awash with so much pain, it looked so delicious on the boy.

"Let him go!"

Both turned their heads, one in amusement and the other in relief. Amethyst eyes practically sparked with anger, hands clenched and ready to do battle. Muraki released the boy in his grasp and smiled again in that knowing way of his as Hisoka went to Tsuzuki's side. The way the older shinigami almost seemed to push the boy behind him was deeply amusing.

"Good morning Tsuzuki-san. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I'm not in the mood to deal with you today Muraki!" He turned, grabbing Hisoka by the arm, but before he transported away he threw one last look over his shoulder. "I don't want to see you near Hisoka again." And they were gone.

How naïve of the shinigami to think he would actually abide by these rules. Besides, how could he not play with he favorite little doll?

……………

The silence was thick and tense, with barely suppressed words just waiting to spill out into the open. Tsuzuki wasn't looking at him. In fact, the man sat quietly at his desk with a blank look on his face as he concentrated on his paperwork. It unnerved Hisoka, this silence and the steady sound of pen on paper. Was his partner angry at him? It was usually the other way around and now that he was faced with this himself, he was reluctant to admit that it actually frightened him a bit.

But what right did Tsuzuki have to be mad at him? The idiot was the one hiding. Just the thought of it infuriated him. He opened his mouth to make known this fact when the door opened. Mouth closing, Hisoka set his expression and watched as Watari and Tatsumi entered their office. Their faces were serious, which looked strange on Watari's normally playful face. In fact, he could hardly feel the scientist's emotions. They were faint, like they were locked down but were to strong to be sealed away completely.

"Kurosaki-kun." Tatsumi's eyes were focused entirely on him, cold and unrelenting. It was a scary look to be faced with.

"Tatsumi-san."

"What you did today was unacceptable."

That was enough to shatter Hisoka's façade. "What I did?" He whispered in a harsh voice. "What exactly, did I do?"

Blue eyes regarded him through thin framed glasses perched on a regal nose. "Running away from work like that was-"

"Shut up!" The boy shouted, ignoring the shock of actually shouting at the secretary. "What right do you have to lecture me? If you'd all had just told me-"

"I don't believe that that is any of your concern." Tatsumi interjected coldly. Hisoka drew back as if hit, emerald eyes shimmering and then seeming to shut down.

"No, of course it's none of my business, it's never my business. And frankly, I'm tired of all that not my business shit!" His voice rose with an alarming crescendo. "It's my business just like everyone else around here! I have to deal with everyone's fucked up emotions, because no one will tell me! I'm sick of it! No one ever tells me anything, I never know anything! It's like I don't even matter, like I don't….." His voice cracked in a stunned whisper in realization as he completed his statement. "Belong." He couldn't deal with this. Without much care that he was running away again, he turned and left. He couldn't understand it. He just couldn't understand why things always ended up this way.

"Tsuzuki-"

"No Tatsumi. I have to go after him." He pulled on his trench coat, eyes pained. "We shouldn't have taken this out on him. It's not his fault. It's never his fault."

"I know." The secretary sighed, eyes soft in apology. "When you find him, can you-"

"I'll tell him everyone's sorry. You don't have to worry." He sent a small smile to his two friends before disappearing out of the door after his partner.

"We'll lose Bon if we keep this up." Watari petted the sadly cooing form of 003.

"I know." Tatsumi looked around the empty office. "And if we lose him, we lose Tsuzuki as well."

………….

Hisoka had never realized how fast Tsuzuki really was until he felt arms of silken steel wrap around him from behind. He stumbled, feet losing balance with the ground as he was jerked back. It only took him seconds to realize what was going on and he began to struggle.

"Let me go!"

"Hisoka-"

"Let me go you stupid son of a bitch!" Hisoka didn't start cursing until he was absolutely furious and hurt. It was a mixture that brought out the worse in the boy.

Tsuzuki turned his partner around and jerked him against his chest, wincing slightly as the small, pale hands beat against it. Those vibrant green eyes were alight in anger.

"Hisoka please-" He was cut off as the boy in question cocked back his fist and let it fly, punching the man sharply in the jaw. Even though it was painful, the older shinigami still refused to release his partner. The body stilled in his grasp suddenly, standing stock still. Green eyes had frozen over and it felt like the temperature had dropped a few degrees.

"Tsuzuki." That voice was cold and quiet. "Let.Go.Of.Me."

"No. I'm not letting you go to end up in Muraki's hands again." Those words were apparently the wrong thing to say because another punch landed on his jaw.

"At least he never lies to me!" The empath hissed. The world around them seemed to stop then as they gazed into each other's eyes, both realizing how stupid the whole thing was.

Hisoka sighed, closing his eyes tiredly. He no longer felt the need to struggle, and he was tired. Very tired. The day had been much to emotionally trying for his liking.

He buried his face into his partner's chest in a rare show of weakness, silently telling Tsuzuki that he was too tired to continue with the argument. A smile spread across the man's face. "Seems like I get to carry you to bed again." He said, sighing in fake exasperation.

"Shut up. Just….shut up." The boy's voice trailed off as he passed out. Tsuzuki easily swung him up into his arms. As he began his way towards Hisoka's home, he glanced down once to stare quietly and with a faint smile at his partner's young, relaxed face. If only the boy could look like that all the time. He shut his eyes at the thought.

"I'm sorry Hisoka. I'm so sorry."

………….

Green eyes opened in a long, lazy blink, realizing after a few moments of staring at the ceiling that he was in his own bed. "That idiot must have brought me here…" He sighed, forcing his still tired body out of the warmth of his bed. He walked out of his room, looking around for what had wakened him, and sighed as his gaze came to rest upon the twitching from of his partner on his couch.

"He's having a nightmare." He mumbled softly, sitting in the small space open bedsides his partner. It must have been Tsuzuki's emotions that had wakened him. He raised his hand, hesitating for only a moment before slipping his slender fingers into somewhat sweaty brown hair. He stroked the strands and whispered comforting words, watching blankly as his ministrations slowly worked, calming his fitful partner into a peaceful slumber.

He stared at his face for awhile, before looking at the white of his ceiling.

"Idiot."

……………

The next morning was pleasantly nice, as the sun seemed to have decided not to beam into Hisoka's face like it usually liked to. He turned and snuggled into his pillow, falling back into a light dose. Unfortunately, this was not to last as a battle cry echoed in his ears, snapping open his green eyes to stare at his wall in shocked confusion before a heavy body pounced on him, forcefully stealing his breath from his lungs and causing him to release a breathless, unmanly speak.

"Tsu.zu.ki!" He yelled, twisting and turning to unbalance the body on top of his.

"Get off you idiot!"

"No!" Was the childish reply.

"Tsuzuki, you're crushing me."

There was a moment of silence before, "Oh."

The body on top of his rolled off and Hisoka almost cried in relief, but that didn't stop him from rolling over and giving his troublesome partner a good whack upside the head.

"Ow!" The man whined as he pouted. The empath rolled his eyes. How old was this man again? Oh yeah, over ninety. With another heavy roll of his eyes, Hisoka got out of bed, ignoring the pouting man as he gathered up some fresh clothes.

"Don't bother me in the shower." He paused again before he entered his bathroom. "And stay out of my kitchen."

Tsuzuki sighed. That's just what he was about to do too.

Freshly dressed in a snug red sweater and black pants, teeth and hair brushed, and a clean face, Hisoka was in a pretty good mood. He cheerfully, which meant he wasn't scowling and had a little more pep in his step, went into his kitchen, gleefully ignoring the way his partner looked like a kicked puppy, with the way he was following after him.

Upon reaching his destination, the empath decided that coffee would be a good way to start breakfast. Tsuzuki sat down at the kitchen table, head set upon his hands and face content as he watched Hisoka move with graceful ease through his kitchen. It was always a favorite thing to watch for Tsuzuki, because not only did Hisoka cook the best food, but the boy was so interesting to watch.

The whole process of making breakfast was a strange ritual to the boy. He always started with coffee first before deciding what to cook and somehow what he cooked reflected what kind of mood he was in.

After the coffee was done, and only after that, did he turn on some music. It was mostly classical, and wasn't surprising at all because Tsuzuki couldn't see the boy listening to anything else. While the food was cooking, the empath would clean the dishes he no longer needed and any other thing he felt he had to while keeping a watchful eye over the food.

When it was done, he packed it onto plates and set the table in that girlish way only he did it, not that Tsuzuki would ever tell him that, least he get killed in the process.

"Sankyuu Hisoka." He chirped, stuffing the eggs into his mouth and swallowing with a pleased little sigh.

"Don't talk with your mouth full of food." The boy reprimanded. Sometimes, Tsuzuki thought, Hisoka could be so catty. The man froze as green orbs glared at him.

"I guess you heard that." He mumbled, waiting until Hisoka turned away to continue eating. It really sucked sometimes to have a partner that could read your mind. After breakfast, the two partners headed to work.

……………..

Hoping for a peaceful day of work was apparently not in his job description. Did shinigami ever go on strike? Or was he the only moron that considered actually doing such a thing? It's not like their jobs were like roses or anything. The boy made a face at the thought of the flower, which had brought him right back to Muraki.

And looking at the pictures of their new case, Hisoka had to wonder, if maybe, this had something to do with the doctor.

They were horrible really, with the way the bodies were shredded and twisted, blood splayed around like some demented painting. No, the boy realized with wide eyes, this wasn't Muraki's doing. The doctor might have been vicious with his victims, but he never shredded his victims like this. He liked to leave them like broken dolls, perfectly whole and splashed with blood so he could look at them and admire his work because that kind of perfection could only be attained by his hands.

How Hisoka knew this, he didn't know. He just did. So when the topic came up further along the briefing, he quite firmly shot it down, surprising everyone in the room, and refusing to explain why. How could he possibly explain how he knew without looking like a complete idiot? But Hisoka had been closer to Muraki than anyone else, had felt, had seen, what was inside the doctor's mind and heart, a darkness that froze his blood like ice and burned his heart with the sheer force of all the hate. So much hate and vengeance and yet, there was something else there that he hadn't been able to touch on.

Something so small and fragile, overshadowed by darkness, and locked so completely away like a small secret only the doctor knew. Did Muraki know that he saw it? Was that why the doctor seemed to take extra delight in tormenting him?

He cruelly crushed that line of thinking with a bitter laugh. Was he actually trying to humanize the man? That murdering, raping bastard.

"Hisoka?"

The empath paused, realizing that the expression on his face must have alarmed his partner. He turned away, expression turning cool as he looked absently at the people passing by.

"I'm fine."

Tsuzuki frowned, amethyst eyes glinting with some strange notion. "If you say so." And he sounded like he wanted to say otherwise, but that pleasant little smile came upon that face that said that he was trying to distract him from noticing. Hisoka, however, was not one to be fooled, though letting it go would be best for him, in the long run.

"Where are we staying?" He asked instead, because it was always Tsuzuki who knew, and it was always up to him to manage the money. Really, it was quite the balance, though the boy found it almost embarrassing how much more responsibility he took than his much older partner. But he wouldn't want it any other way.

"Um…" The man paused to think, eyes rolling to stare at the sky.

"You forgot!?!"

"No!" Was the childish reply. "I just can't think of it."

"Same thing you moron!" The empath seethed, eyes squeezing shut and his cheeks flushing a bright red on his pale skin in anger.

"Aaahh, Soka' don't be so mean." The man whined but yelped as a small fist pelted harshly against his head.

"Shut up, and don't call me that." Reigning in his anger and annoyance was somehow much harder than usual but he managed. "Give me the case file." He hissed through clenched teeth. His partner flinched, but did as he was told. Hisoka opened the large vanilla folder, making sure to keep it somewhat hidden from nosy people.

His eyes scanned the pages before he closed the folder and handed it back to Tsuzuki. The man wanted to ask where they were staying but he knew that Hisoka was annoyed enough. He just followed quietly along, flinching every time that green glare landed upon him for either walking to slow or to close.

When they arrived, Tsuzuki's attention was caught by how nice the place looked. It was modest, not being overly crowded or priced, with a nice building the color of fresh peach. Flowers of all kinds swung on long vines attached and stretched over the building. It was mostly quiet, with people enjoying a quiet afternoon rather than a loud one. All in all, it was perfect.

"It's…..nice." Hisoka said in surprise, green eyes softening in pleasure. Tsuzuki smiled at this. Perhaps the boy could afford to relax, even slightly here. It would make him much more tolerable if he did.

"Let's check in." He said, nudging the boy and walking down the nicely paved walkway. They entered the building, seeing that the inside looked even better than the outside. Tsuzuki waited patiently as Hisoka did all the talking, lips twitching in amusement at the way the desk clerk kept glancing between him and Hisoka in puzzlement. That's what happened when a sixteen year old was obviously more mature than his partner.

Their room was a nice size and had comfortable beds. This was tested as soon as they entered as Tsuzuki took a running leap onto one, bouncing and laughing as he did so.

Hisoka could only watch with amazed yet annoyed eyes. "Come on Hisoka, bounce with me!" The man shouted as he grabbed his partner and pulled him down.

"Ack! Tsuzuki let me go!"

Unfortunately, the bed was moving way too much for him to be able to move, so he could only lay there, yelling at his stupid partner and glaring as his body bounced up and down.

When he saw that his partner was not listening, the boy shut up and closed his eyes, relaxing and just let his body bounce. After awhile, it took him opening his eyes to realize that Tsuzuki was no longer jumping on the bed but staring at him instead, eyes soft and smile affectionate.

The boy could feel how content his partner was and the blush on his cheeks refused to stay away. Tsuzuki crawled over to him and laid his head upon the empath's chest, humming.

It sounded nice, the boy realized, his mouth closing from his instinctual reaction to yell at the close contact. The melody washed over him, soothing and pretty. He allowed Tsuzuki his position and closed his eyes again, unknowingly falling to sleep.

……………..

Green eyes blinked open as Hisoka stared into the darkness. The darkness, he realized, was Tsuzuki's chest. They had changed positions some how during their sleep, with him buried quite completely into Tsuzuki's body with the man's arms wrapped tightly around him.

He almost wanted to struggle, still not used to being touched like that. Touch was not a nice thing for Hisoka. It hurt actually to be touched, either because it was intended to harm or because of the shocking force of emotions. It hadn't taken long for his parent's touches to start to hurt, and then when Muraki….

Oh God and he wanted so badly to struggle and he couldn't stop his body from squirming, but this was Tsuzuki. He knew that the man would never hurt him intentionally and Tsuzuki's touch didn't hurt, and he hadn't been held in such a long time.

Relaxing, he buried his face into his partner's chest and simply laid there because the moron wouldn't be getting up in a long time, and he didn't have the desire to wake him up just yet. And he wasn't sleepy yet either.

Falling asleep like that, when they should have been working on the case. He blamed it all on Tsuzuki.

…………………

"I think a demon is doing this." Amethyst eyes glanced up from the annoying glare of the compute screen to blink at the boy in front of him. After having a delicious breakfast, and good, warm tea, Hisoka was as relaxed as he had ever been, curled up against the headboard of the bed, papers strewn in organized places around him.

"Why do you say that?" It was pretty obvious really, what was causing all this, but the shinigami wanted to know what his little partner had on his mind.

"Well," he said, picking up a picture and studying it. "I'm not trying to say that humans can't do this, but this is different. This is…" the boy trailed off as he noticed a picture he had yet to look at. He reached out for it and picked it up.

It proved to be a mistake, as this picture still had spiritual residue. He was immediately sucked into the vision.

Blood was everywhere, he was drowning in it. He struggled, mouth opening to cry out only to choke as warm, fresh blood rushed into it. He gagged and sputtered, still struggling. A hand grabbed his arm and pulled him roughly out, and that, was when the demon's emotions tore him apart.

"Hisoka! Hisoka!" He had never felt so frightened , not even with Muraki as he held his partner's limp body. The boy's eyes were large and blank, but somehow Tsuzuki just knew that the boy was afraid, could tell in the way those small, pale hands turned even whiter with the pressure they were exerting into gripping his shirt.

"Hisoka!" Even though the boy was silent, unable to express what kind of horror he was seeing and feeling, it was that silence that worried him, that let him know that something was dreadfully wrong.

He kept it locked tightly behind his shields, not wanting his partner to feel any excess emotions. He pulled him closer, cradling him, and buried his face against, wheat blonde hair. All he could do, was hold on.

He didn't know how long it had been, but when he felt the boy in his arms start to sob, he tightened his hold and rocked back and forth. It hurt, it always hurt when Hisoka was hurt, because this boy, this child, was the most important person to him, the only one who had stayed, who had seen his sins and wounds, and had healed them the best he could.

Hands pushed at him and he loosened his hold only to have arms wrap tightly around his neck and a head nudge firmly under his chin.

"Shhhh." He hushed at a particularly loud sob, eyes closing as he hummed. He just sat, and rocked, and hummed, because it was the only way he could help.

Hisoka stayed in his partner's arms for a long time, pride absent and fearful of leaving his safe prison. He never felt such evil before, not even Muraki felt like that. He shuddered, remembering how much it had hurt to feel such evil.

"Hisoka?" The boy shook his head but Tsuzuki would not take no for an answer. "No, I want to know what you saw."

"Tsuzuki-"

"Tell me."

It was rare for Tsuzuki to take such a demanding tone with him, and truthfully, it frightened him when he did. He sighed into his partner's neck, eyes staring at the smooth throat in front of him.

"I saw the demon." He began, stating the obvious and refusing to care. "H-He was so evil Tsuzuki. I would rather…" He swallowed, burying his face into that smooth throat. "I would rather Muraki." And that truly explained how fearful Hisoka was of the demon, to rather that man.

"I think we should relax for the rest of the day." He ignored the boy's protests. "You're not in any kind of shape to do any more research." As much as he wanted to say otherwise, he knew that his partner was right.

"Okay." He whispered, sounding like the child he should have been. Tsuzuki chuckled at it, thinking it adorable, and laid a soft kiss upon the boy's forehead. "Go lay down and I'll go get you some tea." That sounded like a wonderful idea.

He crawled off of Tsuzuki's lap, feeling slightly embarrassed about it, but to tired to care. He gathered up the case files and sat them back into the folder. He then settled under the covers on his bed, resting his puffy eyes and sighing at how good it felt to just, lay down and relax.

"I'll be right back." Tsuzuki said as he pulled on his coat. He opened the door but instead of leaving turned and looked at him with worried eyes.

"Don't worry about me idiot, just go. I'll still be here in the fifteen minutes it should take you." He waved his partner away and rolled his eyes after the door had close.

………….

"Thank you." Tsuzuki turned, tea pot in hand and froze at the figure he saw standing against one of the large windows in the front lobby, light bright and blinding.

Was that….Muraki?