This story is ultimatly Stelena so if you are a Stelena of Stefan fan please enjoy. If you are a Delena fan and happen to be reading this please be nice. This is part one of a one shot in two parts so bare with me it won't end as sad as it starts out.

Disclamer: I own none of the characters only this story is mine. :)

Part 1~

Frustration, anger, worry, anxiety; These were all emotions that Elena was currently struggling with but the strongest one was fear. Through out this whole ordeal the one emotion that seemed to always be there was fear. When Damon told her that he had to find the cure so he could be sure about her love for him, she was afraid of losing him. When they were searching for the cure, digging up clues and trying to sort out the truth about its whereabouts, she was afraid that it didn't exist and it would all be for nothing. When they found out that the cure wasn't a magic potion but a spell created by a witch, she was afraid it wouldn't work. When Bonnie figure out that the spell would only work on a young vampire, she was afraid that Rebekah would turn against them in anger. When Rebekah and Elijah agreed to help them take down Klaus once and for all, She was afraid of losing more friends in the process. When Klaus was finally gone and the rest of the originals had left to live out their eternal lives elsewhere, she was afraid it was all to good to be true. But none of that could compare to the fear she was feeling now.

She was on her way to the Salvatore house after getting a frantic phone call from Damon. All he said was that something went wrong and that she needed to get to the boarding house now. It wasn't his words but the despair she heard in his voice that made her panic and now she was going though every possible scenario in her head as to what could have happened. Bonnie was supposed to be performing the spell that would set the cure into motion tonight. What if something happened to Bonnie? Why couldn't Damon let her stay and help? She gripped the steering wheel tighter and took a deep breath to keep from crying as she pulled in the drive way of the boarding house. She quickly turned of the car and ran to the front door vamp speed. She didn't knock just opened the door and slipped through. She walked into the living room and saw Bonnie sitting anxiously on the couch. She felt a bit of relief knowing Bonnie was okay but something was still terribly wrong. Damon was standing by the liquor cabinet looking disheveled and sullen with a glass of amber liquid in his hand. He looked up at her with watery eyes and her stomach dropped. She hurried to his side and touched his arm.

"Damon," she said in a soft but urgent tone "tell me what's wrong."

He just looked at her his jaw locked and she knew he was trying to keep himself composed. Bonnie stood and approached her and Elena turn towards her friend hoping for an answer.

"Elena, it's Stefan" Bonnie said sadly.

"What, what about Stefan?" Elena asked. Bonnie just looked at her not sure what to say. "Just tell me, did he stop the spell, what?" She continued frantically. Bonnie took a deep breath.

"He came to me last night and asked me not to tell you or Damon" Bonnie said apologetically. Damon shrugged off Elena's hand and stepped away. She looked at him briefly then turned back to Bonnie.

"Not to tell us what Bonnie?" Elena looked at her confused.

"For the spell to be complete the balance of nature had to be restored." Bonnie explained. Elena heard Damon's glass hit the table with a heavy clank and he let out a shaky breath.

"I don't understand, what does that mean?" Elena questioned her wearily. Bonnie stepped closer to her and sighed.

"Just tell her Bonnie" Damon's voice came roughly from behind her.

"In order for a young vampire to be rid of their dark curse, an older vampire who has seen true darkness must give their soul to the other side." Bonnie said the words as if she was reading them from a book. Elena's hand flew to her mouth and she gasped, realization setting in.

"No" She breathed

"He's dying Elena" Bonnie finally blurted out. Elena let out a ragged breath and a tear slid down her cheek. At that moment it was like something inside her snapped, a string was cut and a bond was broken. Suddenly her world was caving in around her and she was helpless to stop it. She swayed slightly and Damon rushed to support her, but she shook her head and took a step forward.

"How long does he have?" She asked bleakly

"I few hours maybe" Bonnie said sadly her own tears spilling onto her cheeks. "Where is he?" She asked turning to Damon.

"In his room" Damon said looking past her. Elena headed for the stairs. She barely registered Bonnie saying something about him being weak as she rushed passed her. As she climbed the stairs she heard Damon take a ragged breath and then the undeniable sound of his glass shattering against the fireplace wall.

oooooooo

When she reached Stefan's' bedroom door she stopped and wiped the tears from her face with her sleeve. She took a deep breath to compose herself then slowly turn the doorknob and pushed open the door. He lay quietly in his bed in a pair of black sweats and a grey t-shirt. His eyes were closed, his face turned away from her and towards the window. He had one hand on his chest while the other rested on the bed. When she heard his slow labored breathing she felt her chest tighten. She quietly walked to the side of the bed and watched him remembering a morning, that seemed so long ago, when she lay beside him in this very bed watching him sleep. She sat next to him cautiously reaching out to gently stroked his arm; he was warmer than he should be. She shuddered taking a trembling breath and Stefan stirred turning his head to her. He blinked and she looked down at her lap.

"Elena" He said softly. She pulled her hand away and looked up at him eyes glistening.

"Why?" She asked weakly.

"So you can have the life you deserve" He breathed "Because I love you"

"You should have told me" she said softly scolding him

"You would have tried to stop me" He said looking at the ceiling.

"Of course I would have. Bonnie shouldn't have let you." she was rambling, "Stefan, we could have found another way. Maybe find someone else to…"

"Elena," He cut her off his voice thick as he looked at her calmly. She looked at her hands and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Look at me" He urged gently. She looked up and the pain in her eyes tore at his heart. "It's done, there's no going back, I'm dying"

Elena's breathing faltered and she grabbed his hand, tears slipping down her cheeks. He bit his lip trying to keep his own tears at bay. Then with his free hand he pushed himself up into a sitting position, leaning in towards her.

"Listen, to me," he began again. Elena shook her head gently. "I need to tell you something"

"No" Elena said through her tears, "Don't say you're goodbyes, I can't do this Stefan." She wiped at her tears.

"Yes, there's nothing left to do" He nodded "You have to hear this" Elena just sobbed and shook her head sadly. He continued anyway.

"I love you. I have love you from the moment I pulled you from the river the night your parents died. I never stopped loving you even when it was killing me and I wanted to forget, I loved you. You gave me a reason to get up every morning and fight the bloodlust. You made me believe that even a monster was worthy of being loved. You were the only light in the unending darkness" Elena was about to protest, but he took a breath and continued "When you became part of that darkness I blamed myself and I felt like I had to make it right. I stole your life from you and I had to find a way to give it back. I didn't want to fix you, you weren't broken you were lost. All I ever wanted was for you to find that light again." Stefan stopped when She squeezed his hand.

"But I was okay, I excepted this life, why couldn't you just let it be?" She said her voice raspy from crying.

"You were never meant for this life" He argued, "No matter how many times you told me you were happy, or how you weren't the girl I fell in love with anymore, I couldn't let it be because I know that given the choice you'd want to be human again. Every vampire wants that because the truth is it's not a life. It's a curse: it's pain, it's guilt, it's hate, it's loneliness, it's despair, it's fear, it's self loathing and it's for eternity." Stefan reached up to cup her cheek with one hand still clasping her hand with the other. Her tears spilled onto his hand and he tried to brush them away with his thumb. Elena whimpered.

"You're going to live Elena. You going to go to college maybe even be a writer. You're going to get married grow old and make babies. You're going to love and be loved. You will be and do what ever you want. It doesn't matter even if after all this you still want Damon or you meet someone new as long as you get to decide and you're truly happy. That's all I ever wanted." Stefan finished with tears falling down his own cheeks and Elena was sobbing now.

She grasped his hand that touched her cheek and leaned into him their foreheads touching. Elena leaned in further her lips lightly grazing his cheek then pressed a delicate kiss to his warm lips. Stefan suddenly took in a sharp breath and she pulled away to look at him. His eyes were shut tight and his breathing was shallow and raspy.

"Stefan?" She question with concern in her eyes.

"I'm just tired" He breathed

"Rest, I'll be here" she said wiping the tears from her cheek feeling spent but calmer now. He nodded and lay back on the bed again. Elena turned and scooted up to sit next to him in the bed, her back against the head board. Stefan closed his eyes and Elena reached for his hand intertwining their fingers.

"I love you too Stefan" She whispered. Stefan squeezed her hand with his in response. Elena sighed and wiped another tear from her cheek. He had a few hours left and she settled in to wait.

oooooooo

Two hours later Elena had dozed off still holding Stefan's hand and began to dream of a baby girl with soft brown wisps of hair and bright green eyes. She was awaken by a feather soft touch to her arm and when she opened her eyes Stefan was looking up at her with shinning eyes.

"You okay? Do you need something?" She asked voice rough with sleep.

"I need to talk to Damon" He said sounding very much awake. Elena felt uneasy but nodded.

"I'll go get him" She said moving to stand. He pulled her back towards him their hands still linked.

"Love you" he said and them his hand slipped from hers.

"Love you" She said before turning to leave the room.

oooooooo

When she walked into the living room she found Damon alone on the couch sleeping; sitting up head back and an empty bottle in his hand. She walked over to him and gently pulled the bottle from his grasp. He stirred and lifted his head blinking groggily.

"What's going on?" He asked confused

"He wants to talk to you" Elena said calmly placing a hand on his shoulder.

"How long have I been out?" Damon asked as he stood up.

Elena took a step back. "I don't know it's been two hours since I went up there" She said with a shrug. Damon reached for her hand

"Are you okay?" He asked

"I don't really know" She said with a heavy sigh. Damon just gave her a look of understanding and then she dropped his hand "Go, he's waiting" She said tilting her head towards the stairs. Damon turned to walk to the stairs then stopped

"You coming?" he asked

"No, I think you need to do this alone, just come get me when you're done" He turned and proceeded up the stairs.

Damon trudged up the stairs fighting the urge to run back down and find comfort in Elena's arms. He reached the door and saw Stefan laying on the bed blankets to his chest, arms folded and fingers clasped in front of him.

"Brother" Damon said as he stepped into the room

"Damon" Stefan said looking at him straight faced. Damon took a deep breath and another step closer to the bed. "I'm sorry" Stefan added

"For what?" Damon said taken aback

"For everything. For making you turn, for Katherine, for not seeing who you really are, for expecting the worst from you, and now for leaving you behind"

"Stef don't, don't do that. No!" Damon said looking away stubbornly.

"Damon, you need to listen."

"I won't say goodbye Stefan" he said looking back at his brother.

"Then don't just listen." Damon nodded once crossing his arms and stealing himself.

"I've made mistakes and I can't change the past but I can give you the truth. I needed you. I needed my brother. When we were young I wanted to be like you I idolized you. I defended you to our father I never understood why he couldn't see you the way I did. You protected me and comforted me. We had fun together, laughed even. You were my big brother my hero"

"We were kids" Damon said sitting on the corner of the bed.

"But even when Katherine showed up we still shared things with each other, still laughed together. But she changed us in more ways than one. I regret making you turn but I couldn't lose you. I know it was selfish and maybe I should have let you go but I couldn't fathom existing in a world without my brother in it. But you hated me and you had every right to walk away from the disaster that I had become. I understood you're anger but what I couldn't grasp was why you had such an intense desire to make my existance as miserable as possible. I tried so hard to make amends every time you showed up" He stopped when Damon touch his foot through the blankets.

"I was never that far away" Damon said gruffly "I always kept tabs on you I even fallowed you sometimes and only made myself known when I felt like it. I guess in a way I needed you too"

"I know that in your own twisted way you were still just being my big brother but…"

"I made some mistakes to Stefan. I don't blame you for hating me I've done terrible things and I feel guilty too but like you said we can't change the past. We have to learn from it."

"And I have. For so long I tried to hate you but I can't it's exhausting and It gets me no where so I don't hate you." Stefan sighed

"I don't hate you either" Damon declared

"But you kept your promise"

"What promise" he asked

"An eternity of misery and on and on" Stefan swallowed his voice thick with sorrow.

"I didn't mean that, I was angry"

"I know that now, but the moment Elena told me she loved you I knew I could never be truly happy again. I understand why she loves you. You were there for her when I wasn't. and I understand how easy it is to fall in love with her. You deserve that kind of love Damon. I don't begrudge you that "

"She's one hell of a girl" Damon said his voice wavering. Stefan agreed with a nod.

"But she deserves to live Damon, she's light and love and everything that's good in this world. If she had remained a vampire the darkness would have consumed her." Stefan let out a puff of air his breathing growing shallower.

"I know" Damon said softly looking down at the bed.

"So let her choose, what ever she wants to do who ever she wants to love. And you have to live to, go to Italy buy a villa and play with the tourists." He paused giving Damon a weak smile, "Just try not to reek to much havoc. And if I can I'll be right there watching and laughing with you." Stefan finished out of breath but some what relieved.

"I'll try Stef" Damon said with a watery eyed smirk. Stefan closed his eyes then satisfied. His lips parted and he took another shallow breath. Damon looked towards the window and spoke slowly

"Brother, I'm sorr…" Stefan grabbed his knee, that now rested on the bed, weakly.

"Don't, that's not you" He said quietly

"But I am" a tear slid down Damon's cheek and he quickly brushed it away.

"I know" Stefan breathed lightly.

"You're still too broody and your journal is gonna miss you. But the bunnies sure won't"

Stefan smiled took another small breath and Damon watched as a tree outside the window swayed in the wind. He listen a moment longer then looked over at his brother who lay still now, finally at peace.

oooooooo

When Damon finally came down the stairs he looked haggard and worn. Elena was sitting on the couch one leg tucked under her staring blindly at a book. He stopped at the foot of the staircase and held on to the post beside him for support. Elena quickly stood from her position on the couch the book falling to the floor. She took a few steps toward Damon with a worried look then stopped. His head fell forward hopelessly.

"He's gone" Damon said his voice shaking. Elena gasped and grabbed the arm of the couch for support. Damon turned and punched the post splitting it in half. Elena flinched then all at once the tears came and she sunk to her knees on the floor. Damon sat on the stairs, held his head in his hands, and cried for his baby brother.