Lyoko Warriors Present: Top 11 Dumbest Inventions (2010 Edition)

Featuring:

Jeremy Belpois

Odd Della-Robbia

Yumi Ishiyama

Ulrich Stern

Aelita Stones

#11: Kitty Krap Krib

Description: A very nice way to hide your litter box- it looks like a old fashioned house.

Ulrich face-palmed himself. "I don't want anything like that in my house."

Aelita looked around. "My cat would be crapping in something nicer than my dormitory! How fair is that?"

Yumi smiled. 'Hey, I could put Hiroki in one of those!"

Jeremy laughed. "The windows are stickers and come in three types! How lame is that?"

Odd thought about it. "I think I'm going to get one for Kiwi."

Ulrich pointed and said, "No. No for two reasons- one, those things are for cats. Two- Kiwi is a dog."

#10: Anti-Bandit Bag

Description: This bag has a special equipped removable bottom so a bandit can't take your things.

"So, wait. The bottom comes out to stop the bandit can't take your stuff?" Ulrich asked the others when the narrator finished explaining. "That's like giving a thief your money so he won't steal it."

"I think it would be great if some college kid pulled that by accident." Yumi thought out loud. "One second, he's rushing to class, next, he's scrambling for his essay."

Odd said with fake seriousness, "You know, I had one of those once." The others looked at him strangely. "I had to stop using it because I lost the bottom."

Aelita thought for a minute. "Why do I feel as if this would be something Sissi would endorse?" Aelita shook her head in disapproval.

"I think a lady used an Anti-Bandit Bag on my brother once. He said one minute, he was mugging this old lady, and the next, there was a brick on his foot." Jeremy said. "This is by far one of the stupidest things I've ever heard of."

#9: Motorized Surfboard

Description: In 1948, a Hollywood inventor creates a surfboard with a motor.

"Leave it to the Americans to invent something that puts this 'dys' in 'dysfunctional.'" Yumi said. "That's the lazy boy surfing technique."

Ulrich laughed. "Now, admit it, you would laugh, to, if you saw a guy chugging around on his little motorized surfboard!"

Jeremy shook his head. "Now, even I'm not that lazy."

"You aren't lazy, Jeremy. Just," Aelita tried to put a word to him.

Odd nodded. "She's trying to put it tactfully. Try 'puny.' Or maybe 'dorkish.'"

"Scrawny."Aelita said in annoyance.

#8: Rainy Day Cigarette Holder

Description: Now you can smoke outside without getting your cigarette wet with the Rainy Day Cigarette Holder!

"I think you said that at least three times, twice direct and once indirect." Jeremy corrected the narrator.

Yumi thought for a minute. "Does anyone care enough about their cigarettes that they have to keep them dry to smoke them?"

Odd paused. "I..." He finally shrugged. "I got nothing."

"The word 'stupid' comes to mind." Aelita said.

Odd nodded. "That's one word."

Ulrich shook his head. "I don't think she was talking about the cigarette holder, Odd, but either way, she's right."

#7: Illuminated Car Tires

Description: The name explains it all. Think of five words that describe this. Go.

Odd acted first. "Stupid."

Yumi agreed with, "Pointless."

"Imbecilic." Aelita added.

"Simpleminded." Jeremy said.

"Dumb." Ulrich said point-blankly.

#6: Mother Substitute

Description: To comfort very young children, the Japanese invented fake breasts with a fake heartbeat.

Aelita paused. "It sounds very..." She paused longer. "...fake."

Yumi stood up sharply. "I find it offensive that this invention is even on here!"

Odd mumbled a laugh. "Heh heh. Offensive. Heh heh."

Ulrich smacked Odd in a response. Jeremy simply shook his head. "Disturbing." He and Ulrich said at the same time.

#5: The Clapper

Description: Who doesn't know the Clapper?

Aelita shrugged. "What's a Clapper?"

Ulrich laughed. "That's a good one, Princess."

"No, really. What's a Clapper?" Aelita asked again.

Jeremy said, "The real question here is why this is on the list..."

"Because it's so smart it's stupid." Yumi answered. "Besides, it makes people lazy."

Odd sprang up. "Did you hear? Now, if you have become too lazy to clap to turn off your electronics, they have the Clapper Plus- all you have to do is hit a button!"

The group laughed as Odd did the hula. Aelita smiled. "I still don't know what it is..."

#4: Watch your Snot

Description: It is simply a box of tissues you can wear on your wrist. Got a boogey? There's a watch for that.

Yumi shrugged. "When I was a kid, we just wiped it on our arms."

"People have too much damn time." Ulrich said bluntly.

"Who really sits down and thinks of new ways to give kids tissues?" Aelita shuddered.

Odd laughed. "I'm totally going out and buying on of those. How convenient is that?"

Jeremy looked at him. "Seriously?" He said, then adding, "That could've made number one."

#3: Baby Cage

Description: Used to keep from smothering the baby accidentally in sleep. But, for crying out loud, it's a CAGE!

"What kind of sadistic moron puts their baby in a cage?" Jeremy asked.

Aelita pretended to be a baby. "No, no, Mommy, not the Baby Cage!" She regained her composure. "That is sadistic."

Yumi shrugged. "Great invention, though."

Everyone looked at her. Odd added, "It is, besides the fact its a cage."

Ulrich looked around and yelled, 'WHAT THE FU-"

#2: Hawaii for Losers

Description: A chair that has a seat which moves you around in the way of the hula dancer!

Odd smiled. "My sisters have one of those. They say its great."

Jeremy shook his head. "Its like how to turn your wife into a slut in 10 days or less."

Yumi smiled and said, "Can anyone tell me what Jeremy's face would look like if we put Aelita on one of those?" Ulrich, Yumi and Odd all dropped their chins in mockery ways and Jeremy blushed.

Ulrich laughed. "I can totally see him doing that."

"You guys!" Jeremy complained.

"They apparently have great reviews." Aelita said, completely off the 'Jeremy's Face' topic, but otherwise on topic.

#1: Halfway There

Description: A man in the 20th century invented a robot that answered telephones.

Aelita pointed out, "But he forgot to make a voice for it." She nodded sarcastically. "Doesn't that make perfect sense?"

Jeremy smiled. "It sounds like something Herve would do." He sort of danced in his chair.

Odd smiled as well. "Maybe, if we made it sound like its breathing, people will hang up."

Yumi looked at him. "Why don't we make it say, 'Luke, I am your father' every time instead?" Yumi asked. "You'd probably get a few screams from that."

Ulrich smiled. "This is classic. Simply, simply classic." He laughed. "That's like giving a blind person a driver's license. How do you even get away with that?"

That's all for now! Tune in next month for the dumbest careers edition!

A/N: The sad part is all of those are real inventions. Even the baby cage. And the silent robot. And the hula chair. All of them.