Artemis Fowl and the House Elf

This will be a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Harry Potter. It has spoilers for TLC and HBP. The usual disclaimer: I don't own the characters from either series.

Chapter 1

Holly Short woke to the sound of her communicator. Only one person had a ring-tone of a Chinese gong: Artemis Fowl.

"Hello, Artemis," she said sleepily. "Why are you calling at this time of night?"

The underground fairy city of Haven has its own cycles of light and dark, but Artemis was well aware of them. He had visited Haven on more than one occasion.

"It was the best time to use my communicator unobserved," said Artemis unapologetically. "Things have not been going well since my return home. I could use assistance."

"What's wrong?" asked Holly. She knew he would have some difficulty with his parents because he had lost three years to time-travel, but somehow she had expected him to handle it easily.

"I concocted a cover story for my three-year disappearance," said Artemis. "I said that I had been kidnapped, but that I was not sure by whom. I was held in solitary confinement, under harsh conditions that stunted my growth, until I finally managed squeeze through a window and escape."

"That sort of explains why you still look fourteen," said Holly. "But what did you tell them about the eye?"

"I hid your hazel eye under a blue-tinted contact lens," said Artemis. "An eye transplant would have been extremely difficult to weave into the story. I've already needed to fool the doctors during several medical examinations my parents ordered for me. If I called attention to the eye, the doctors might discover it wasn't human."

Holly said, "I suppose they could tell that it's more sensitive to infrared and ultraviolet than a mud-man's eye. I'm having a little trouble adjusting to being half-blind when I do night work."

"In any case, my parents were most distraught. They were delighted to see me, but things are not the same. Father seems intent on finding who kidnapped me and getting revenge."

"What about a mind-wipe?" suggested Holly. "I could pulls some strings in Section 8 to get that done. Butler told your parents some of the truth about the demons, right?"

"Yes, and they believe he went mad with grief," said Artemis. "He's still fired -- they consider him not only mentally unfit but also incompetent for losing me. Juliet abandoned her wrestling career to come back and be my new bodyguard to restore the Butler family honor. As for the mind-wipe, or trying to mesmer them, I'm afraid things have gone beyond that."

"What do you mean?" asked Holly.

"They've talked to too many people. Father resumed his criminal connections to hunt for me and he's too deeply involved to back out again."

"You have some other plan?" asked Holly.

"Of course," said Artemis. "It involves magic and a theory of temporal physics I've been developing. I can't tell you the details now but with the help of Qwan..."

"He's busy with demon re-education," said Holly. "I don't think I could get permission to take him to the surface. If you could come here.."

"My freedom of travel has been greatly restricted," said Artemis. "They're afraid of losing me again; I'm confined to Fowl Manor until they find the kidnappers. The same is true for my twin siblings Apollo and Athena."

"I'm sorry, Artemis," said Holly. "I wish there was more I could do to help. I owe you my life. You saved me by that shot backwards in time."

"Technically I didn't. I didn't fire your gun on our timeline, but on a parallel branch that merged with ours, thus giving me pseudo-memories. Otherwise there would be a severe causality paradox."

"Part of your new time theory? That's too much for me to wrap my mind around at this time of night."

"Never mind," said Artemis curtly. "I'll deal with this myself."

After he hung up, Holly wondered why she had such a sinking feeling. She would soon find out.