ONE STEP

DISCLAIMER: Durarara belongs to Narita.

WARNINGS: Coarse language (I don't expect Shizuo's and Izaya's speech to be flowery)

One Step: Fourth Step


"Look… emmm…"

If you hate someone you should expect to be hated in return.

"Celty!" Shinra had a remorseful spark in his eyes. He had been aware of the consequences beforehand but his curiosity betrayed him. And now Shizuo sat on his couch, his gaze fixed upon a small hole in the wall that caught his attention. Shinra knew that Shizuo would soon move over his troubled and distressful state to a never ending depressive route. If Shizuo wasn't strong enough to control his anger, how would he deal with depression?

"It's been a whole week since the experiment. Those nightmares should end soon-"

"Shut up." Shizuo murmured in a soft voice with a clearly dangerous tone.

It's no use. I don't think those nightmares will end up shortly. Trust me, I know this. Celty showed Shinra her PDA, and the young doctor could feel her uneasiness.

"So what if I killed him?" Shizou answered in that soft voice that everyone dreaded. Because they knew what always came after.

"What if I killed him because he hates me? Why should HE hate ME"

"Shizuo-kun, please… the fridge… the food-"

"I want to kill him again. And revive him. And kill him again. And Again, and again, and againagain "

Shinra stood up, wanting to stop him but Celty patted his shoulder.

Give him some time alone.

Shinra looked at her, with a worried expression, begging her to tell him to stop his childhood friend. Celty shook her head and pointed at Shizuo, who seemed to be calming down a bit. The blonde got tired and threw the fridge, which broke a small table and the vases that were placed on it without counting the damage that it made to the walls.

"… when he died… his body… he looked so fragile…"

See? Shinra smiled at her.

"I… I just… All these years I thought he was powerful… a complete bastard… yet, when he died… He… smaller …. person… pale and skinny… delicate… soft… that lifeless body… couldn't belong … he… Izaya… bastard..."

And that was when Shizuo finally broke down and cried. Between his sobs, all what Celty and Shinra could hear was "hatehatehatehatehatehateha-"

"Shi-" Shinra stopped, looking at Celty to see her reaction. When he saw her neck nodding, he continued. "Shizuo-kun… Izaya is in Shinjuku. You can go the-"

"shutupshutshut-SHUT-UP! ... please… no more…"

Don't be a coward.

Shizuo raised his head. If Celty had a face, he was sure that she would have an angry and determined expression. And possibly she might also-

SLAP

…him.

So you prefer to be depressed and keep drinking? While Izaya is happy?

"He hates me, Celty"

Shinra controlled his own hand from hitting his forehead with a great speed. Celty just shook her head in disbelief.

Hate brings hate.

"I hate him too."

'Then WHY angst about him' Shinra thought. He was usually composed but this was getting a bit on his nerves. So Shizuo found out Izaya hates him more than what he initially thought. Hate is still hate. He couldn't understand Shizuo at times like this. He was a doctor, not a psychologist. Although in this case, he would need a psychiatrist.

Then nothing has changed. He hates you. You hate him.

"Still… why sh-"

Go to Shinjuku. Confront him. The worst scenario is that you end up hating each other even more. And that's basically the current situation.

Shizuo sighed and continued to stare at the hole in the wall. He remained silent for several minutes, but then he smiled. A weak smile. He made up his mind.

"Thanks… Celty. You are always a big help, aren't you?

Np :) Glad that you are feeling better.

"What about me?"

Both Celty and Shizuo decided that the best answer for that question was their deafening silence.