One Week of Wonder

1: EPIC!

(August 22, 2015)

Since Wendy was technically an adult—well, eighteen, anyhow—and since the Ramirez family had a pretty good idea that the last sleepover of the summer was going to be something of an epic blow-out, they took an overnight trip to Portland, leaving the Mystery Shack to Mabel, Dipper, Wendy, Pacifica, Grenda, and Candy.

Dipper pondered going over to the McGucket house for the night, but—well, Wendy was going to be there, so he vacated the attic in exchange for Mabel's downstairs room. It was right beneath the attic, though, so he didn't expect to get a whole lot of sleep. After the Shack closed for the day and Soos and his family took off for their trip, he and Wendy sat around and made small talk. Punctuated with occasional nuzzles.

Pacifica was the first of the guests to turn up, looking happier than she had all summer. She brought big bags with snacks, DVDs, a couple of games, and—as a surprise—some items of apparel she had bought for all the girls. She gushed about her new boyfriend, Daniel Raventree—Mabel still thought that "Dirk" was the name he should have stuck with, because "He has the same name as Wendy's dad! Awkward!"

Pacifica said, "Oh, I met his dad! He came over this morning to help Daniel move into the place that Stan helped him find. His dad's so cool! He's young-looking to be more than two hundred years old! And he's very well-off, nearly as rich as we are, so I know my dad will like the family!"

"I thought he was a farmer," Dipper said. Daniel had told him, Mabel, and Wendy that his father owned a farm that raised sheep, cows, and other animals not for meat but for blood—though they weren't killed for their blood, just tapped once a month each.

"He owns lots of them," Pacifica said. "Everywhere there's a vampire colony! All over the country! But he's a businessman, too, with investments in everything you can think of! He and his wife, Daniel's mom, have to live very quietly and move every so often so nobody notices they don't age, but they have condos and vacation houses all over the place! And now his dad's going to buy the cottage at the end of the street near the school for Daniel to live in! Mr. Gleeful owns it, but Mr. Raventree offered him a lot of money, and so that's where Daniel and his cousin Viktor will stay!"

"Did Grunkle Stan work it out so Daniel can transfer to Gravity Falls High?" Mabel asked.

"Yes! And not as a senior, but as a junior! He'll be in my class!"

"Eeeeeeeee!"

Even Wendy winced at the high-pitched squee that emerged from Mabel. "C'mon, Dip," she said. "Let's you an' me let the younger kids talk this out."

The two of them strolled out to the back porch and sat on the sofa. They could still hear Mabel's yips of excitement. Dipper said, "You know, technically, Pacifica's a couple months older than me, and Mabel is five minutes older."

"Yeah, well, they're acting like they're twelve," Wendy said. "I guess I can understand that, though. Daniel's giving up his vampire immortality because he fell hard in love with Pacifica at first sight. You ought to put that in your next book!"

"Don't think so," Dipper said. "My readers are like ten, eleven, and twelve years old. They think romance is mushy and stupid."

"They'll learn," Wendy said comfortably. "Any word on Thanksgiving?"

"Haven't asked our folks," Dipper said. "Grunkle Stan says to let him work on them, and he can probably convince them better than Mabel and I could."

"Oh, yeah," Wendy agreed. "No doubt about that!"

"I'm gonna miss this place so bad," Dipper said. "And miss you even more."

"Oh, don't get me started, Dip," Wendy said. "Anyway, look at it like this: Two more years from next Monday, and you'll be old enough so we won't ever have to be separated again."

"I am so looking forward to that."

They cuddled for a little while. Kissed a little. Exchanged fond thoughts and feelings through their touch-telepathy. Reminisced a little.

Not very much. Too large a part of the past nine months had been taken up with the evil sorcerer Brujo and his plot against everyone represented on the Cipher Zodiac. They'd had some close calls. They'd suffered losses. Sometimes the trouble seemed to be overwhelming.

"Funny," Dipper said. "When I think about it, so much seems connected, but even now I couldn't say how. Even when Mermando's wife was kidnapped and we nearly drowned trying to rescue her—that seems tied in somehow with Brujo and his plans."

"That was so scary," Wendy agreed. Dipper caught her thought: I was most scared of losing you.

—And I was most scared of losing you.

But we woke up in heaven.

No, actually they woke up in a hospital being treated for hypothermia—but they were together, and that made it like heaven. Especially the moment when they took a hot shower . . . together. They both remembered that.

"Next summer," Wendy said, "we go camping. We missed out on that this year because of everything that happened."

"And I'd like to go hot-tubbing again," Dipper murmured. "This time, I won't be so embarrassed."

"And I am determined to teach you to swim," Wendy said. "Private lessons."

"Deal," Dipper said happily.

Grenda's car, a ten-year-old German import, a Zümen Rostlaube, chugged up the drive and into the parking lot. Grenda got out of the driver's seat, and Candy, who had forsaken her big round glasses for contacts, came out on the passenger side. They popped the trunk, and each walked to the Shack carrying a bedroll and a bag of whatever girls brought to sleepovers.

"Hi," Grenda boomed. "Here we are! Let's get this party started!"

"I see Pacifica is here," Candy said, nodding toward Pacifica's brand-new red convertible. "What is this I hear about her having a new boyfriend?"

"It's true," Wendy said. "She'll tell you all about it. I know already, so when you guys finish discussing it, give me a yell."

"Pacifica was a vampire for a few hours," Dipper said.

"No! Way!" Grenda shouted. "How cool is that?"

"Not very," Dipper said. "She really wasn't. She just thought she was. But you'll hear about that. They're up in the attic."

"I cannot wait to hear about her demon lover!" Candy said as they went inside.

Twenty seconds later, they started squeeing. Well, Candy did. Grenda's squees sounded more like a locomotive locking its brakes. "Better go on up," Wendy said. "I might have to ride herd on these younger girls!" She kissed Dipper and went upstairs.

Dipper tried to watch TV in the parlor. That didn't work too well. Between Grenda's pounding on the floor and Mabel and Candy shrieking, he couldn't hear much of the show—and besides, though Soos had put in a satellite receiver, even with more than three hundred channels, there didn't seem to be anything good on.

Mabel's room was worse. After an hour of enduring the noise, Dipper gave up and fell back on his last resort—he opened the secret door behind the vending machine and took blankets and pillows down to the lab level. That muted the sleepover to a distant rumble and squeak. Dipper lay on the floor and surfed the web for a while on his laptop, looking up random things. On Socialbook, he checked to see whether he had new friends (no) and whether anyone had unfriended him (no; he still had seventeen). He started idly to read through the posts—lots of cats doing things that were allegedly funny, lots of politics (boring), a few items about science that he read. He yawned and was about to shut the laptop off when a name caught his eye: Eloise Niemeyer.

"Couldn't be," he murmured, but he clicked on the post. It was titled "Anyone ever see a ghost?"

It was her—the girl whom he'd met more than a year earlier at the Westminster House, the eccentric mansion in San Jose that was reputedly the most haunted house in America. He read the brief account—Eloise wrote about the ghost that appeared now and then on the basement stairs of her family's home in Minnesota.

Dipper frowned when he began to read the responses. A few people found her story interesting. Others offered possible explanations for the apparition, ranging from "Somebody's prankin you girl" to "Get your head examined, you stupid b_."

Dipper typed in a reply: "I believe her. She and I saw some paranormal things together once."

His heart thumped when immediately she typed in, "Is that you, DP?"

"It's me."

"Let's go private."

They switched to a private chat. Eloise said, "OMG, Dipper! I lost your address and email, and I never could remember the town you said you were from! What was it?"

Dipper: "Piedmont, CA. And I'll give you my email again." He typed in the address.

Eloise: "Cool! Here's mine!"

Dipper: "Just a second." Dipper took out his phone and entered Eloise on his list of contacts, adding her email. "Got it now. How have you been?"

Eloise: "Great. I tried the exorcism bit, you know—ghost went on."

Dipper: "That was scary in the Westminster House."

Eloise: "I've never told anybody that whole story. You?"

Dipper: "My sister and my great-uncle, who's a paranormal investigator. You still playing ice hockey?"

Eloise: "You know it! You still on the track team?"

Dipper: "Yes. Varsity beginning this fall."

Eloise: "What was that town up in Washington State you talked about?"

Dipper: "Not Washington. Oregon. Gravity Falls. That's where I am right now. But I'll go back home after my birthday on August 31."

Eloise: "Happy Birthday! I guess you're sixteen then?"

Dipper: "Right."

Eloise: "I turned seventeen end of June."

Dipper: "Belated Happy B-day to you!"

Eloise: "Thanks. We ought to stay in touch. Got a girlfriend?"

Dipper: "I do. Got a boyfriend?"

Eloise: "That's debatable. I found out he took another girl to a dance when he'd told me he was sick. Have to talk to him and then I'll know!"

Dipper: "Good luck with that."

Eloise: "I'm gonna have to go. It's close to midnight."

Dipper: "It's—oh, yeah. Central time there?"

Eloise: "Yes."

Dipper: "Few minutes before ten here. Great to talk to you again!"

Eloise: "Email me! Tell me about your summer!"

Dipper: "Will do that this weekend."

Eloise: "Good night, Dipper!"

Dipper: "Good night, Eloise."

He signed off and shut down the computer. Frowning, he muttered, "Now why am I feeling guilty?"

Well, while they explored the spooky Westminster House, while a lich—a dead but animated sorcerer—threatened their lives and their sanity, he and Eloise had held hands. But there was nothing romantic about that. They were both scared, and the hand-holding was more reassurance than anything else. Heck, Wendy had had at least one new boyfriend in between the twins' first and second summers in Gravity Falls, and he didn't think that meant anything crucial.

But—well, maybe for a guy it was different. He didn't think guys who had steady girls should do things like that. Of course, to be fair, he and Wendy hadn't exactly committed back then—

His phone chimed, making him jump. He picked it up. Mabel. "Yes, what is it?" he asked.

"Brobro! Where the heck are you? We've looked everywhere!"

"I couldn't sleep in your room!" Dipper said. "You girls are too noisy!"

"You're not out there by the totem pole again, are you? Did you take the tent out?"

"No, I'm down in the lab," Dipper said. "It's quieter, even if I have to sleep on the hard floor."

"Come up to the attic!" Mabel said. "You have to! Right now!"

"You are not giving me a make-over!" Dipper snapped.

"Don't be juvenile! That's not it."

"What do you want, then?"

Mabel laughed. "That would totally spoil the surprise! Come on up and see!"

"You're not going to tie me up or anything weird, are you?" Dipper asked.

Mabel yelped with laughter again. "Nope! Promise! Wendy wouldn't let us do that, anyway!"

Well—that was true. The two of them were protective of each other. "OK, OK," Dipper said. "I have to stop in your room to get my pants, though. I'm in my underwear."

"Doesn't matter! Wrap a blanket around you! Hurry! That's an Alpha Twin order!"

Dipper shut off the phone. He figured that going up to the attic was the lesser evil—otherwise, the whole gang of girls would come thundering down to the lab, and Grenda, who still loved breaking things, might reduce Grunkle Ford's equipment to a shambles.

He got up, doubled a blanket, and improvised a toga. He went up, opened the secret door, and then climbed the splintery stairs up to the attic. He tapped on the door. "Here I am. What is it?"

Mabel opened the door and nearly collapsed. "Hail, Caesar!" she said. "Girls, look at Dipdop!"

"You told me to wrap a blanket around myself," Dipper growled.

Candy and Grenda pretended to be overcome with lust, or something like it. Grenda even yelled, "Hubba-hubba!" and Candy said, "Oh, be still, my aroused heart!" Pacifica just grinned in an evil way.

Blushing furiously, Dipper said, "I'm going back to bed."

But Mabel slammed the door and stood with her back against it. "Oh Wendy!" she called. "Time to fulfill your da-are!"

The closet door opened, and Wendy came out, also red-faced. "Sorry, man," she said. "We were playing 'Truth or Dare.' I'm supposed to kiss you while wearing this."

"This" was a filmy negligee, pale pink, with nothing under it but Wendy.

The other girls were hooting with laughter. Dipper ignored them, walked over to Wendy, took her in his arms—and dipped her. He wouldn't have been strong enough for that the year before, but he pulled it off, smiled at her, and went in for the kiss.

The laughter peaked and then died away. Pacifica coughed. Grenda said, "Uh, are they still breathing?"

Mabel said, "OK, Brobro, Wendy's fulfilled her dare."

Dipper broke the kiss. Then he said, "Want to come down to my place?"

"No!" Mabel said, sounding really alarmed.

"Mabes, let me think it over," Wendy said as Dipper raised her up again. "Seems to me I'm dressed for something special, and Dip is just wearing a blanket. Might be interesting."

"You do not have to!" Candy said. "That was not part of the dare!"

"One day, though," Dipper said. "Girls—grow up." He gave Wendy a good-night kiss, a short one, and headed for the door. He maintained his dignity even when Mabel twitched his blanket away.

"Like the boxer briefs, Dip!" Wendy called. "Good look for you, man!"

"Thanks. Oh—where did you get the sleepwear?"

"Gift from Pacifica, dude!"

Dipper grinned at Pacifica. "Thanks, Paz. Wendy and I really enjoy it."

The blonde's mouth fell open. Dipper went downstairs, reclaimed his pillow from the basement, and turned in, back in Mabel's room.

For some reason, the sleepover was much quieter after that.

And Dipper had some pleasant dreams.