"This might be hard to believe but I climbed the highest tower, not including my quarters, to be alone," I hissed at my spymaster. I sat at the edge of my recently built tower enjoying the feeling of being alive, when a simple wind could lead to my death.
"Oh, I just thought someone needed to be here for you pity party, too bad I can't climb a ladder with a cake," Leliana retorted. She had climbed up the many ladders to get to me, seeing as she spends most her time in a tower it was surprising how out of breath she was.
"Is there a dragon coming?" I asked looking thoughtfully around the ramparts.
"No?" she asked puzzled also searching.
"Someone throwing goats at the wall?" I continued, staring where the goat blood had once been.
"Not that I am aware," she insisted clearly annoyed by this thought process.
"Then I think I am free to sulk for a bit," I cunningly retorted. "Have the ambassador add midafternoon sulk to my itinerary." I winced I shouldn't have mentioned her it had been a nice few minutes forgetting about her.
"Maybe it's time you did something to change it instead of moped about it," she said unamused.
She didn't understand. The woman of my dreams was betrothed to another and I couldn't do anything about it. I've tried every dirty trick in my book to get his secrets and blackmail him but he was nearly spotless.
"Every spy in my guild has tried and nothing has come up, it's a wonder he hasn't found me out yet," I explained. "He is perfect and he would give Josie the ships she desperately wants. Who am I to stop her?"
"The woman she's desperately trying to end a 'perfect' arranged marriage for?" she provided.
"Nothing has been found yet, it won't be changing I'm afraid" I complained.
"You could duel," she nonchalantly retorted.
"One I haven't dueled since I was teenager, two I am a rogue not a warrior, and three she told me specifically not to do that," I reminded her. "How can I duel for someone without their blessing, in the end it should be her choice."
"Meet me up here tomorrow before the sun," I started to interrupt, when she talked louder, "I know you've been up that early since she got the betrothal, I am still the spymaster" she insisted.
"Fine why are we meeting?" I inquired.
"Remember when I told you to stay away from her and you completely told me off?" She began, I nodded, "It's time we get that fight back in you."
She finally left me to my own thoughts after that. Once she was gone though I missed the distraction from them, all my thoughts belonged to her. I just kept replaying every moment we had looking for the moment I went wrong. How could her family not know what we had was enough? I had to start at the beginning.
It began when I awoke in chains, I only woke up because something was skinning my hand. My eyes shot open to see strangers who I suspected were responsible for the skinning. Until I saw the glowing mess that was now my hand.
The exact wording of my first meeting with Leliana and Cassandra is hard to remember, my hand hurting was the most precedent at the time. They basically accused me of murdering the entire conclave, opening a hole in the sky, and betraying the world. I didn't do that and had to prove it by using the glowing green mess to close smaller holes, and return to the scene of the crime.
They didn't ask why I was at the conclave what decisions led me to end up where I am now. I was offered a chance at good honest money to be a guard. When I was young I always thought I would join the templars like my dad and be a warrior in his honor. I thought this was the closest I'd get, guarding chantry officials as a rogue. I don't know how I ended up being the Herald of Andraste.
Closing the rift at the conclave, earned me a place in the inquisition because I was only one who could do it, honestly it was a dream come true. For once in my life I got to live in the light instead of clinging to my shadows, though they came in handy. But the best moment was when I was introduced to the ambassador.
She was as stunning as the first time I saw her, and man was I sucker for that accent from the start. I knew I needed to get to know her that moment, but I am smart enough not to be too obvious. Every time I returned to Haven I paid her a visit mostly mundane conversation ensued but I loved them all. I didn't push my luck until she asked about my family and I couldn't handle the seriousness.
"I have been meaning to ask you, how is your relationship with your family?" She asked. My least favorite topic my family, time to sarcastically deflect.
"Why miss ambassador this seems to be moving a little fast for me," I coyly replied, "You ought to have a meal with me before we delve into parentage."
"Oh you, I meant would they support you and the inquisition?" She said unabashed.
"They might would you draw up a letter with an official request and send it with a personal one of my own?" I said attempting to seem at ease.
"Of course, right away my lady," she replied pulling out a parchment. My cue to leave and compose my own.
"Sir Trevelyan.." no
"To this household..."
"Mom, Dad, Brother…" 100% nope.
"To whom this letter finds,
I do not know if you have heard the news, the sky ripped open, a conclave destroyed, an inquisition began. It is all very true, I know because I was there at the conclave. I am the single person that survived and granted the ability to close the holes. I have been working with Inquisition since that day. They wish to know if you would support their cause, the one where we get this shit storm fixed. I am not asking you to support me, I would never as you should know, yet if you could see the mess you would be backing them. So, I am asking you to think as though I was not involved with them, what would you do? Address your response to Lady Montilyet the ambassador. I require no response.
-Lone Wolf"
I folded this letter and sealed it before returning it to Josie. I didn't stay and talk like I normally would, that letter made it very vital I put my sword through something. I randomly picked an assignment and left, it was weeks before me and my party returned. I missed Josephine terribly and couldn't understand the attachment's strength.
I skipped my normal step of talking to literally everyone first and went straight to her. I needed her company and idle banter now, no use waiting. "Lady Ambassador, it has been far too long, any new stories..." I stopped a man was in the room arguing about the use of his lands. "Your lands?" I asked.
"Yes, my lands, I didn't give these lands to the divine for this purpose" he scorned.
"I am afraid this matter can only be settled by a dual," Josephine replied writing on her parchment. "Are you free tomorrow?"
"A dual?" he said astonished.
"You challenge Cassandra's word, I fear that is quite an insult to her people she will be forced to dual for her honor. Two o clock work?" she insisted.
"I think I have overreacted," he fearfully replied, "I must return to Orlais at once, excuse me."
"I knew you were good, or else you wouldn't be here, but seeing it in action," I gaped. "You truly are amazing, what would this place be without you." I couldn't help myself her ability to subtly manipulate was very attractive.
She was quite unaffected by the compliment though I detected a blush. We talked about my travels and her visiting nobles for a while until it was time to return to our chambers. "Before I forget your family is coming tomorrow." She said when we reached her door.
"What?" I practically screamed. "Here, they are coming here?"
"It's very safe they will be fine," she reassured me, placing a hand on my shoulder. Her hand on my shoulder, focus.
"Um which members are coming?" I said nonchalantly.
"All? I believe they wished to deliver their support in person. We shall see in the morning, goodnight," she said departing.
Maybe she was right if that's the case I won't have to see them. Her. I won't have to see her. Maybe I will wake up early and be gone before they get here. Yea there's a Grey Warden to find I'll do that. Too bad I chose that morning to sleep in. "Herald," an elf servant stirred me awake laying down garments by my bed, "the ambassador wishes you to get dressed in this and meet her for your family's arrival."
Now I am stuck. I begrudgingly dressed not wanting to disappoint Josie, to meet with my family that I only disappoint. "Did you sleep poorly my lady?" She asked scanning me.
"I was hoping to be gone before they arrived," I admitted before realizing what I was saying, "I mean no."
"Wait so you do have a poor relationship? I would not have asked this of you had you told me before!" she proclaimed. I had never seen someone in ruffles so ruffled.
"The inquisition needs support if we are to complete our mission, my feelings on who supports it is not necessary," I whispered spotting my father.
"Later," she spits out walking to greet him. He and my mother were the only ones visible perhaps they did not come. Thank the maker.
Josie was introducing herself with ease. I moved to join them. "And of course, this is our herald of Andraste, or as you know her as Lady Trevelyan," she joked.
"Mom, Dad," I greeted, "you come here alone?" I hoped so desperately for a yes.
"It is only us here," confirmed my mother. Her eyes were pleading me, for what I did not know and probably didn't want to.
"Our ambassador here can explain the details of our mission, I am sure you noticed the ripped apart sky on you way here." I said in a tone I would use with strangers. "I will leave you too it. I believe a rift was found nearby that I need to go close." Okay just get away while you can, one step, two steps.
"We want to talk with you," my father's voice haunted my movement.
Josie begged me silently to concede. "Okay, how about you square everything away with the ambassador and then she will lead you to my cabin?" I pleaded.
"Of course, right this way," Josie conceded.
I needed however much time Josie could get me to gather myself. Why had they wanted to talk to me? Maybe I shouldn't have told them where to find me. Damn Josie's attractiveness for forcing me to not think straight. I heard a knock on my door. Already? I composed myself only to find the same elf servant handing me a letter and disappearing.
"I don't know what happened but at least hear them out, they came here solely for you.
-Josie"
Damn her ability to think rationally in a time like this. So, I waited for them to conclude their business eventually my parents were sitting around my table with me. Josie provided us with meals as well seeing as it fell on dinner time.
"They say you fell out of the fade?" my dad began, breaking the silence.
"I don't remember much from that day to be honest," I revealed, "I remember guarding the conclave and waking up in chains."
"But you can now close the sky holes?" my mom gaped.
"Rifts. Yes, we are trying to make it possible to close the biggest one by supercharging my mark" I replied wiggling my mark before them.
"Does it hurt?" my dad asked astonished.
"No more pain than I am used to," I said bitterly.
"We didn't know," my father frowned. "had we known it wouldn't have happened, we would have accepted you. You didn't need to leave."
"I couldn't stay, whether you accepted me or not I needed to move on," I admitted, "it would have made it harder to leave had you, and maybe I never would have made it where I am. I really like where I am."
"Honey," my mom began, "we know you had to get away from them. We just wished you hadn't shut us out too. We love you. You know what it's like hearing that your daughter is only survivor of a destroyed conclave you didn't know she was at? We knew what happened that a Herald was putting it right, we didn't know it was you."
"Just like for years we didn't know about your involvement with the shadows," my father looked through me, "until you signed your letter Lone Wolf, or should I call you the Black Wolf."
"We aren't the villains our image says we are," I said pissed at my stupidity.
"See we believe you," my mom said, shocking me. "One day our entire fleet was robbed and we were pretty sure we would lose the estate."
"All of a sudden all the merchandise was returned," my dad continued. "With a note 'You are protected' -Black Wolf."
"So, you know," I wondered aloud.
"We know," they answered.
"And?" I winced waiting to hear it.
"And," my mother started, "we love you still."
I sat up shocked. I was waiting for a speech, the one I knew by heart. I glanced at my father waiting for him to tell about my wasted talents. How I was meant to be his protégée. My brother never took to sword work he was meant to run an empire, book smart but not strong enough to fight. My father trained me to be the best champion fighter in our village. Yet, one day my uncle came to town and showed me his style of fighting, two swords. I fell in love with the shadows, the speed I could now use. My father didn't let me train with my uncle after that. When I ran away I went to my uncle and he perfected my assassin skills and I hadn't picked up a shield since. Here was my father okay with what I chose over what he wanted of me.
"You are still the finest fighter I have trained," my said father giving a small grin.
"You guys didn't come to support the inquisition," I guessed.
"No, we came to see you." my mother confirmed, "You should have died at the conclave, everyone died. Yet now you are at the front line of a battle bigger than Thedas. The Herald of Andraste sent to save us all."
"We needed you to know we love you," my dad added, "we never stopped. We want to know you still be a part of your life."
"Okay," I said dumbfounded.
"So," my mother eyed me, "do you have a girlfriend?"
"Maybe, the lovely ambassador?" my father supplied.
My cheeks burned, when had been so obvious? "Me and Josie...phine are just friends. I uh haven't dated since well you know."
"Are you still hung up?" mom worried.
"No, no definitely not I just haven't been interesting in long term uh encounters," I shrugged.
"Josie seemed like a nice girl," my father said to my embarrassment.
We spent the evening going over everything that happened in the last four years. I knew it wasn't safe for them to return for a while and they knew that I couldn't go home. We promised to write and I removed a weight off my shoulders I forgot was there. Without my need to do what Josephine required I never would have reconciled with my parents. I needed to see how I could make it up to her.
"I recognized your parents from some balls, I can't remember where but I remember their faces." she confessed when I went to talk to her. "We are the same age you would have been old enough to attend did you see me at any?"
"Uh no," I lied, "I was probably training to be a templar, my brother is the diplomat, I was born to wield a weapon and work in the dark." I wish I could tell her the truth. I had seen her but I spent all night trying not to get caught with my girlfriend. I remember wanting to know who the girl leading the other kids in the room was. She was striking and that ability to keep them in line was something my brother did. I needed to study it. But I let myself be pulled away by my jealous girlfriend.
"What was your brother's name?" she asked.
"Aidan," I swallowed.
"Oh yes I remember him quite well," she mused.
I needed to leave, at any moment this will get uncomfortable. "I am leaving tonight in search of the grey wardens," I decided, "save some good stories for me."
"Safe travels sirrah," she said in parting.
I snapped back to the present. Nothing went wrong in those first encounters, besides my growing feelings for her. I felt at home where I was having a family in the inquisition and getting my real family back. Nothing for told the pain my happiness would lead to.
I went to bed hoping to get enough sleep so I could endure the torture my spy master was going to place on me.
The moment my vision became dark I was transported back to my last moment in haven. What I believed was my last moment with her. We were under attack. Heavily out matched with a dragon trying to tear down our last option, the chantry. I saw her breaking, her mask she wore for nobles slipping. She had just watched our workers pick up sword, march out of the chantry, and be torn apart. Enough to shake the coldest of hearts, the warmest I ever met was breaking before my eyes. I couldn't let hers become like mine.
"We need an escape plan," I proclaimed to the commander and spymaster, never looking away from her.
"There's only the way forward," he said despondent.
"There's a secret way," coughed chancellor Roderick, a thorn in my side. "I might be the only one left alone that knows it"
All eyes fell on me, "Can you lead them?" I asked. He nodded. "Cullen, gather your men you will lead the way with Roderick. Leliana you will take up the rear make sure the party isn't followed. I need to talk to Josephine meet at the back in five minutes." They nodded and went to get their posts. I slowly approached her, she was sitting on the ground staring at nothing. I had never seen her look so human, it pained me. I sat by her close but not too close.
"I know it's not fair to ask this of you, but I need your help. Everyone over there is going to make it out of here safely if you can help me." I began. She looked over at me begging me to be telling the truth. "I need you to be strong, that power you have inside you to bring people together I need it. Look at their faces, they have given up, I can see it on you too." She looked down. "Find that amazing light inside you, and get them to follow you. Cullen had the soldiers, Leliana her spies, but you have the hardest task of motivating those who haven't been hardened by war."
She glanced back at me. "Do you promise no more death?" she questioned me.
"I promise I will do anything to make sure everyone else gets out of here alive," I dodged the question. It satisfied her and I watched as she slipped on the mask and started to pull everyone together like I knew she could.
Now for the hardest part, revealing my plan to my team and our leaders. We met at the front as I had told them too with Josephine catching on as well. "Cole told me what the enemy wants, he is mad about me taking what was his, the mages. He has come to face me. You'll never make it to the escape path if he sees you and he has a dragon. I am going to open those doors and face him," I revealed.
"We can't ask that of you," Leliana said shocked.
"I am telling you," I informed, "when I open that door you leave, all of you." They looked baffled that I would be willing to give this much. No one needed to know that I had to save her that maybe if she wasn't here it might not be like this.
"You said no more death," her eyes met mine.
"I said I would do everything to save everyone, this is the only way," I said memorizing every about her so I could keep her with me no matter what happens.
"It has been an honor to work with you all, promise me you'll fix this no matter what," I said looking to my party. They all nodded as soldiers should. I walked away by wanting to deal with the looks of 'dead woman walking.' Varric followed me.
"Did you at least tell ruffles?" he spoke. I stared confused. "Did you tell Josephine how you feel?"
I shook my head. "I will probably die, it's not fair to tell her now. If she asks when I am gone feel free to lie for me," I replied. He gave a curt nod noticing someone coming up behind him.
"Lady ambassador, I must leave soon," I didn't want her to talk me out of this.
"You told me I had given up," she said ignoring my plea. "You are saying goodbye. If this is the last time I should at least return the favor. You should be prepared to live instead of die. I... We need you, come back."
"If I can I will," I promised. She nodded and walked away. And I went to face a creature called the elder one.
It had me in its grasps as it tried to tear apart my anchor as it called it. I had never known pain this strong and I knew I was going to die. When it failed to steal the anchor from me, I was thrown. I was in and out of it as the elder one explained things I didn't need to know as I waited to die. She was the image I focused on as I laid there hoping it to be over, when I say the trebuchet aimed at the mountain behind me. I could mask their tracks so this thing could never find her. I could die by my terms instead. I found my tossed sword and cut the rope sending a mountain of snow at us. The elder one escaped on a dragon and I fell under the trebuchet.
I woke up in a cave, I suspected the cave that my friends escaped in. Maybe I was going to live, if I didn't freeze to death and my hand stopped trying to tear away from me. I opened a rift and killed a squad of demons and half my issues were solved. I needed to find them. Somehow, I managed to walk through a snowstorm to their camp I had a hard time understanding how but I was too cold to care. She ran to me and hugged me which I thought was enough warmth to thaw me out but the healer insisted I get to a cot immediately. I didn't want to stop but she let go so I did.
This jarred me awake in the present. My emotions not ready to dead with a reminder of what touching her was like. I should probably forget it if was unlikely to happen again.
As I dressed I reminisced about how trip to skyhold.
We thought the inquisition was done out leaders couldn't agree on anything at this point all blaming each other for the mess. Mother Giselle brought everyone together with a song as our remaining people kneeled before their "herald" I didn't want to be their hero. I just did what had to be done not for glory. Solas had me lead us to skyhold and I became the Inquisitor. Weeks past where I flirted openly with Josephine and yet I never got the feeling it was requited I should have given up then.
Leliana sat on the mage tower when I finally got there, two Orlesian swords lying next to her. A soldier sat with her waiting for me. "Why am I here?" I questioned.
"You are to be trained in the art of dueling by Sir Constantine one of the best Orlais as seen," Leliana explained. "When I think you are ready I will issue a challenge to Otranto. If you refuse I will issue a challenge today and you will lose any chance of having Josephine."
My manipulative, overstepping spy master had left me an ultimatum to fight or lay down no more time for wallowing. "I do have other duties," I reasoned.
"Constantine will be joining you in your excursions and you will train with him every morning, afterwards you can perform those duties," she dismissed me, "I want constant updates or else." she addresses the latter at him.
"Yes milady," he bowed, "Shall we begin." He handed me my sword.
This was how I spent my mornings for weeks. Even without it helping me fight for her, it helped me to have a goal, distracting me from my loss even when I was stuck at skyhold. I was a natural once I got the basics and could compare it to my free marcher style of dueling. I couldn't stop the flashbacks from plaguing my dreams but they made sure I was up early enough to train.
This flashback was of reserved Josephine in the first weeks at skyhold. "Is there anything you need, Inquisitor?" she asked after giving a brief rundown on skyhold.
"How about a stroll through the ramparts?" I hoped.
"A tour?" she pondered "I could fetch a servant."
"Not exactly what I meant'" I admitted.
"Do let me know if you change your mind," she said dismissing me with a wave of her hand.
This was how it had been since haven, me being obvious her being either oblivious or deflecting of which I couldn't tell. I got up to leave disappointed when she called me back, hopeful I turned to her.
"I have a personal request to ask of you," she admitted. I nodded, defeated. "I have been recently trying to reestablish my families trading business, but the messengers carrying my paperwork were murdered. Leliana investigated and found a noble who claims he has information but requests you to be at the meeting. Will you travel with me to Val Roseaux?" she pleaded.
I couldn't resist getting that much time with her. "Of course," I said controlling my excitement, "When shall we set off?"
"Tomorrow, very early," she decided, "I will have a servant wake you."
I couldn't get to sleep that night.
Turns out we would not meet with a noble but the exact assassin that killed Josie's messengers. Who now had the audacity to tell us he would be coming for her as well. If she hadn't been there I'd have painted the floor with his blood. There still a strong chance I get to do just that. I don't know who the welp thinks he is but his guild is about to go toe to toe with a power bigger than it. I escorted Josie to skyhold and began my internal war only after putting one of my men and her personal guard.
After making my arrangements I met with Josie and Leliana on making an official plan. To know one's surprise Leliana chose spy's and Josephine begged for diplomacy. Unfortunately for me and Leliana I wanted to make Josie happy, so I let her dictate the official decision whilst I made sure she was alive to see how it turned out.
I had not left Skyhold in weeks which was good for her but bad for the Inquisition, my workload was getting daunting. I had stopped many spies from penetrating the fort though no one was aware of my machinations. I had been watching a guard for weeks waiting for the spy's mask to fall so I could finally unleash my plan. Today was the day. The guard was tasked with watching the left tower, but was walking through the medical tents no doubt on his way to her. Now or never.
"Sir Donald, is it?" I appeared before him.
"Sir Mackle, your grace," he said saluting.
"Guarding the medical personnel, I see," I questioned.
"No, your grace I was just ending my shift," he dodged.
"Mackle, I know who you work for. Even if that assumption is wrong you won't be leaving this courtyard," I said bored of the game.
"Your grace, I am unaware what you mean," he said confident.
"Yes, yes except I asked the guards to stop calling me your grace. I know you are supposed to be in the west tower and I know where you are heading," I began, "Three of your friends have tried to make it there as well and I will let you know they did not make it."
"Where are they?" he said dropping the mask.
"Gone to you I am afraid," I taunted, "You are I have a friend who owes me a lot as I saved them in their youth. Now you can end up like your friends or you can go back where you came from with this letter from my friend." I brandished my letter.
"I will be killed for disobeying orders," he complained.
"Do you recognize this seal?" I asked. He widened his eyes and nodded. "You might live if you bring this to your leader because she owes my friend a lot. And your entire guild will be destroyed if she does not get this letter. My friend is at your hideout right now, I can't believe you thought changing venues would stop him. If he does not see you in a few days everyone dies, and he begins his hunt on you."
I could see him finally giving in knowing that the black wolf of the shadows has done more than this before. The wolf's reputation would have been enough for a veteran but this boy needed to an ultimatum to move. He grabbed the letter and ran out of my fort. I hope he makes in time, my men are quite prepared to strike.
I began to go to my quarters when Leliana appeared. I expected this but not this quick she must have been watching me closer than I thought. I motioned towards my quarters and she followed.
"You are working with the Black Wolf!" she screamed making me glad we were so far up.
"The Black Wolf is not who you think," I explained, "I thought you of all people would be aware."
"He took mine and Josie's friend. All that was left was a not that he forced Carter to write before he killed him," she said. "How can you claim I do not know him when I have seen his work? Dozens of people take every year with nothing left but a letter to their loved ones. He is a monster."
"She actually has never murdered an innocent. Can you say the same?" I questioned. "Carter was in love with his sister's fiancé. He asked for a way out, we gave him one. He is actually one of the leaders at the Black Wolf's table."
"Carter wouldn't run away like that. I could have helped him he knew that. He's dead," she concluded.
"I do not kill innocents, especially useful spies like carter!" I yelled. I didn't mean to say it but I got so sick of my reputation. Yes, I make people disappear when they join my guild. Yes, they say goodbye because they need to be dead to join my family and terrify those that oppose us. But, we don't deal in death. I created the Shadows to be the best information brokers in Thedas. We aren't blades for hire but no one knows that because if they knew otherwise we'd be at war.
"You?" Leliana stopped.
"Me," I finished. "Carter will be here in a week to tell me if the spy did his task correctly. I ask that you keep this to yourself until then."
I had never seen our spymaster without the facts before. It was nice she finally knew that I knew a lot more than she thought. She nodded and kept her word. I think she was avoiding me but I told her to meet me in my quarters exactly a week after and she followed.
Carter was unaware of their reunion and when he saw us walk in he froze. "Wolf you were followed," he told me.
"Leliana caught me talking to the spy and told me how horrible the Black Wolf was for killing her friend," I explained.
"You could have warned me," he said eyes still on mine.
"Yes, but it's better this way so she doesn't think I have brainwashed you or something," I said. He nodded.
"Leliana it's been too long," he finally looked at her.
"That's it? I buried you asshole," she replied.
"I needed to get away from everyone, I needed a new start. To be someone different, like how I felt on the inside. I contacted the Shadows. Asking them to kill my sister's fiancé and me, my desperate hope for us to be together somehow," he told his story. "The Wolf herself showed up asking me why. I told her I loved someone I could never have. She told me her story which was similar to mine, that she had instead ran away and created the Shadows. Instead of putting a sword through me she handed me one and told me to either kill myself and be done or join and be new. I joined as everyone else who wrote the letter with the black seal has. I have never been more grateful for anyone I got my happiness back."
"Carter, you're part of the most feared guild in Thedas, the most elusive," she said, "You are murders."
"Are you even listening to me?" he asked, "I have never been paid to murder someone. We work only through information, who do you think informs your spies on matters? Us on the Wolf's orders. Everyone you think the Wolf has murdered is a spy."
"That's not possible," she complained.
"It is," he said, "I am living proof."
Leliana walked out after that apparently not willing to discuss this further. "Should she be followed?" Carter asked.
"No, for one she is expecting it but also because I think she will understand it eventually," I said. He accepted my decision and informed me the spy returned to their base and a few hours later a black flag was waving above. They had accepted my terms, one month of peace or I demolished their guild. I have destroyed guilds before, unofficially because their practices were against my code, but the public believed I was in a feud with them and won. Carter wasn't fully honest we do kill when it is necessary though I am glad it wasn't today, it'd be hard to explain to Josie otherwise.
I finally got to leave the castle leaving Carter to watch over the gaps in security. I had a lot of in person errands that I told Josie wasn't safe enough for her. I delivered information, bribed a judge, and saved Josephine from assassins.
I came back to skyhold and a guard informed me Josie had been attacked. I was going to have destroy a guild. "Josie please tell me you are alright," I said barging in. A guard and spy accompanied her and she seemed very shaken up from it.
"I wouldn't be without these two, he got in and I thought nothing of it. Just another of our men I figured not even looking up but then these two burst in screaming for me to get down. He escaped of course but I would have been dead as well without them," she explained.
"Thank you," I told them, "I will make them pay Josie, I promise. Go to Leliana you will be safest with her I need to talk to the guard."
I rushed to my quarters, where the hell had Carter been! He had one job at skyhold, one. He had failed a simple guard detail? On his former friend according to Leliana. I needed answers before I ordered him to dismantle the spy responsible.
I didn't expect to find blood drops on my floor when I burst in. "Carter are you okay?!" I called out.
"Over here," he mumbled. I found him on the floor behind my bed. Attempting to stitch up a sword wound on his side.
"That guild is gone Carter, we will ruin them for this," I promised.
"No," he grunted, "I wanted to see Josie. I was worried Leliana would tell her I was alive and working for you. I wanted her to hear it from me but I forgot she was so closely watched and that I was a stranger to them. Leliana might not be as good as you but she's definitely a close second, that assassin got me good."
"I really wish you weren't bleeding so I could tell you how stupid you were with full effect," I mustered.
"I know, it's just Josie and I were best friends," he explained. "I miss her and now that I am her personal guard, it's hard to resist telling her."
"Were you two close?" my voice dropping as I spoke.
"No, no, no not like that, Sir," to my relief he looked disgusted, "I am very much into men only, I just really miss my best friend."
"Okay, good," I calmed down, "We can arrange something when you are healed up so no one suspects you. I am kind of disappointed I don't get to disintegrate that base."
"We still could," he said attempting to stand, "Maybe when I am healed."
"My honor dictates we don't," I explained, "They waved my flag and I removed the contract. No more feud."
"Wolf?" he asked.
"Carter?" I replied.
"I need to lie down," he explained, "will you check on her?"
"Of course," I said standing to do just that.
Josephine and Leliana stood in the spy tower discussing the matter in detail. "The matter is handled," I informed them. "The assassin has been dealt with."
"You caught him?" asked Josie.
"Yes, it won't be a problem anymore," I said.
"You said that the last time, right before you left," Leliana chimed in, "Yet here we are."
"This spy had been uniformed from his friends," I said, "He wanted the chance to get to her first." I hoped she got my real meaning.
"Well maybe he should have waited," said Leliana. She knew it was Carter.
"Maybe his friends should inform him better," I said.
"Are you guys really defending the man who tried to assassinate me?" Josephine exclaimed.
"Of course not," I said, "I just wanted to tell you the matter was over, you just need to call in all your favors and the assassins will stop."
"Unless they're uninformed," scoffed Leliana.
"Enough Leliana," I hated having to use my authority on her.
"Are you two alright?" asked Josie.
"Alright? Of course, we are," said Leliana.
"I just have been hearing rumor about you going to the herald's quarters at odd times," said Josie, "If this is a lovers quarrel I can leave you too it." Josie's face was bright pink. It would have been adorable if it was because of anything except her thinking I was sleeping with Leliana.
"We are not even remotely lovers!" I yelled.
"Never," Leliana said.
"Have you been spying on me?" I directed at Leliana. I knew she was but when people who weren't as skilled as us caught on it was dangerous. Maybe it was just from
the times I had invited her up. I need to be more careful.
"I spy on everyone," was her only answer.
"Not too well apparently," I mumbled. "Josie this is two people worried about your safety fighting because it was threatened today. I am sorry, and so grateful you're okay."
This red face was all for me and it was indeed adorable. She bowed taking the paperwork from me and hopefully going to finalize it. I told Leliana that Carter needed a medic and someone to clean up his blood. She had the spy for the job and we parted.
Even with all the materials together it took another week to get the confirmation that Josie was no longer hunted. I had escorted her Val Roman when she told me the news.
We stood by the water as she told me the story of Josie the bard. The look on her face was the same one I had seen in Haven. She still carries the guilt of the death, one that I would brush past because it was her or him. Yet she still felt he could've been saved. I wished my heart could be a full as hers not the one that had murdered thousands in that situation. I then realized she was too good for me, if she knew I was the Black Wolf she would be disgusted. I had to give up hope on her.
She thanked me and I told her the truth, that I would do it for her again if it kept her safe. She got flustered and told me she was quite overcome. I wondered aloud if I should stop. She stuttered between yes and no and begged me to take her home so no one saw the blush. How could I stop wanting her?
I left for a month to catch up on all the duties I had been avoiding. I brought Carter with me, worried he might try again if he was there that long. I hoped it would help me forget how much I was falling but it made me want her more.
Today me and Cullen were to dual. Constantine was worried I had memorized his style, and not learned how to dual. This was the test because Cullen would not have an Orlesian or Free Marcher style. I won. Constantine told Leliana I was about ready it would only take a few weeks.
I made sure we were long gone for more than two weeks so Leliana wouldn't force the dual upon me. I still didn't believe it was right to go behind Josie's back. It was harder not that Leliana was for us rather than against us getting together. When she confronted me about it I thought we'd never get her approval.
"Sir, Leliana asked me to have you speak to her?" Josephine told when went to talk to her.
I consented. "If you are wanting to tell me how vile I am not really in the mood," I greeted her.
"This is not about the wolf," she said. "I dug into your past I know you're just fake bad person. And honestly, we will need your guild in this war, Carter has proved quite the spy. I am glad he chose the guild."
"Then what is? Did something happen?" I worried.
"Not yet," she stated. "You have payed Lady Montilyet quite a number of compliments as of late. I wanted to tell you I didn't recruit her so she could be toyed with."
"I wasn't aware I was toying with her at all," I said.
"I will then warn you that she knows nothing of love, and is quite unaware of your intentions to court her. If that is your goal?" she explained.
"And I am indeed trying to?" I asked.
"Then I would want to know," she said.
"Because you would not approve?" I asked.
"You are like me Inquisitor. We live in the shadows, ironically that is your guilds name. You are trying to court someone of the light, I won't let you darker her." she explained.
"I wouldn't, her innocence is pure, I envy it," I explained.
"Then you are interested, I ask that you treat her with kindness for your sake as well as hers," she said.
"Is that a threat?" I asked.
"Of course," she said. "If you treat her like your past girlfriends, I will have to find a new inquisitor."
"Once again Leliana," I started, "You have failed to find out the whole story on me. I wish you luck on this."
I walked away trying to find Josie to tell her the trap she just walked me into.
"An innocent in love? She said that?" She exclaimed after I told her.
"More or less," I said.
"Of all the... I am quite capable of understanding our association. I have never thought your intentions were overly romantic, Inquisitor, I assure you," she dodged.
"Perhaps I should have composed a ballad then, or picked flowers. What's the Orlesian form of courtship? Perhaps I should have dueled a guard for looking at you. Or asked you to go sailing with me then," I said frustrated.
"You do? I just didn't want to presume... we've only just got to know each other," she explained.
"Presume away Josie," I said.
"How can you say this we have not spent time
together that often we have our duties," she asked.
"Sometimes it just happens, I have liked you from the beginning so this small amount of time was quite a lot to me," I said.
"I would not object to a closer relationship if that seems agreeable to you," she smirked at me. She wandered closer to me as she said it.
"What is Leliana's favorite chocolate? Wine? Shoe? I think I owe her quite a lot," I said also closing the distance between us. What followed was a kiss that could have ended the war, if we weren't fighting a heartless god. But nonetheless none of that mattered if I got to keep her.
"Ambassador," I greeted her the next morning.
"How are you milady?" she asked smiling.
"Well there's a war going on but all I can think about is that I get to court the loveliest girl in the castle, so very well I think," I told her.
"You flatter me too much," she said.
"At least no one can see your blush this time," I stated, "I think I must tell you something before this is completely official. Care to have dinner in my room with me tonight? I will give you the chance to change your mind before I become anymore smitten with you." I winked.
"Whatever it is I doubt it will change anything," she agreed to the date. Now to tell Carter.
Luckily, he was really excited about getting to talk to her and didn't ask why now. I told him to hide in my room and not to reveal himself till I said so.
"Lady Ambassador, you look lovely as ever," I greeted her with a kiss. A kiss she tried to continue as I pulled away. "Story first, hopefully that after." She nodded. I began my story. "You remember my parents well as I am sure you could tell we had a fall out. I won't go into that quite yet but what came after might make you run for the hills. I was disowned, I thought, broken hearted and unaware what to do. I went to my uncle who had been my tutor on dual wielding. He finished my training and I decided to start my own guild. I wanted to be an information broker that dealt only secrets not in death. I wanted people that became lost like me to find a family. In the beginning we failed, we just weren't as infamous as the crows and we didn't kill. No one feared us enough to hire us and the other guilds tried to take us out. I became a title to be feared. Those I recruited faked their death to give the guild the infamy it needed." She hadn't caught on. She seemed concerned for me not for herself. I handed her my knife for the next part. "I am the Black Wolf, leader of the Shadows. The guild you think your friend died to. Carter."
He appeared in front of us. "You think you get to court my best friend! Just because you saved my life doesn't mean you can date her!" he yelled at me. "Hi Josie, sorry for scaring you the other day but I missed you." he said to her. "She isn't going to be a notch on your bedpost Wolf, me and Leliana will kill you."
"Josie meet my left-hand Fox, or as you know him Carter," I motioned to him.
She didn't hesitate and ran to him crushing him in a hug. "I thought you were gone!" she said then hitting him. "How could you choose a guild over us?"
"The heartbroken shadows are quite the family, Josie," he explained. "Except for the wolf over there who is attempting to court my sister! No wonder you worried I was interested in her! How long?"
"Day one," I admitted to them both.
"Fine, fine you have my blessing," he stated.
"That seems rather quick," Josephine baulked.
"I know her, if it's real she's willing to wait," he said, "Otherwise she'd have given up and gone after the quite obviously into her Sera."
"Sera is after you she?" she exclaimed.
"According to him," I explained, "It's hard to tell when I only have eyes for you."
"Barf," Fox said, "you must really lo... like her to give up your previous lifestyle for."
"Yes," I gave him my Wolf face to tell him to shut up.
"Other life?" she asked, too late.
"Let's eat," I dodged, "You guys must catch up."
They did just that. I got to hear their stories and fully stare at her without worrying she'd catch me. Fox did a few times but that was a good thing. I just loved listening to her talk. Fox artfully yawned though I knew he had a night shift patrol to do. Josephine told him to get to bed and he winked as he departed, moment of truth.
"I'd understand if this recent revelation has changed your opinions in the last 24 hours," I avoid looking at her, "I would have told you before but I was shocked when you agreed to ah... more."
"Can you tell me how you recruited Carter?" she asked.
"Of course," I said not adding that I would do anything to avoid her departure. "You know at the time his sister was to be wed? He had fallen for his soon to be brother, hard. This fiancé had also managed to lead him on, saying he could still be his mistress, that his family wouldn't accept him if he didn't marry a woman. Carter loved his sister and couldn't do that to her. He arranged for the shadows to kill the fiancé and himself, he told Leliana it was so they could be together. I often wonder if it wasn't because he knew the man would never be true to his sister. I showed up with a story of heartbreak and asked him if he was willing to join my family or join death. I promised to protect his sister either way. He chose us, wrote the letter that so many have written and became my left hand in time."
I expected a lot to happen as I finished not for her to crush me in a similar hug to carters. I thought it was an attack but nothing bad happened so I consented holding on to her with all I had.
"You saved him," she finally said.
"Do you think you and Leliana were taught different definitions because she's pretty sure I killed him still," I joked.
"Leliana fell into darkness when she thought he was gone, that was her first attempt to dismantle the shadows," Josie explained.
"First?" I said worried.
"She's tried several times, it's quite a failure to her," she said, "now to know you have been here amongst her, that your reputation is a lie, and carter is alive? She's probably very distraught at all her information being wrong."
"I'm sorry," I said earnestly.
"It's fine, her head was getting very big lately," she jokes, "though I suppose you would feel the same way in her shoes." My people rarely fail to get the information I need, how would be to never get to know the one thing you wanted. I nodded into her neck.
"Now was it you said about, continuing later?" she said breaking apart.
"You're still in?" I questioned, "I admitted to being the Black Wolf of Thedas, the most hated guild leader of the most unknown guilds. A murderer Josie. I know how you feel about bloodshed."
"Wolf," she called me. Just kill me here, hearing my true title from her was unimaginable. "Stop convincing me you're bad news like Leliana will try when she finds out. You didn't kill anyone from the House of Repose when I asked you for diplomacy. You're already less of a murderer than Leliana."
"I did steal three of their spies for my own, find their new base of operations and post my spies there, and threaten to dismantle them if they didn't give me a month though," I said, "You know while we are being honest."
"I still like you, and if it's quite alright," she whispered in my ear, "I would like to end the talking portion of the night." She nibbled on my ear.
"I am uh fine with that milady," I gasped. We continued that way for a while.