The ride to the motel had been dead silent and uneventful. Sam was still trying to wrap his mind around what he'd seen. Jess, the girl he'd loved enough to propose to. She was dead now. Just like their mom. Sam followed Dean into the motel room numbly, not looking at decor or even at his brother. He sat on the foot of his bed, staring off, not noticing the tears that started to pour down his cheeks. As soon as they entered the room, Dean turned his back on Sam, in order to give him some privacy. He opened the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. "Hey Sammy listen…I know I said 'no chick flick moments' earlier, but just know…if you do wanna talk about it.." Dean finished dumbly, taking a sip.

Sam looked up at Dean slowly, his eyes narrowing, "What's there to talk about? Jess is dead. Just like Mom. Because of me. There. Done talking." He wiped his cheeks, trying to get rid of the tear stains.

"Sammy no. It's NOT because of you. Shit, if anything it's my fault, dragging you back in this."

Sam scoffed, "Right. So it wasn't over my bed for any reason both times."

"No Sam, it wasn't. It was the sons of bitches responsible."

"Dean, I know you're trying to help, but it isn't helpful in the slightest so why don't you just stop?"

"Well shit.." Dean muttered. But he did shut up, maybe Sam just needed a grieving period. Instead, he took another sip. Sam laid back, curling up on his side. He sniffled softly before his shoulders started to shake with nearly silent sobs.

"So how long were you two…?" Dean finally asked.

"We met a couple weeks after I left you and Dad." He said quietly. "Went out for coffee and the rest…."

"Shit." Dean muttered again, worse than anything he had brought up the most controversial topic - Dad. Dean wondered if … "he misses you, you know? Dad. And… I do too."

Sam nodded, "I know, De. I'm not stupid. I left without saying anything."

"Yeah. You did." Even Dean couldn't hide the slight bitterness in his voice.

"You wouldn't have let me leave if I'd said good bye." He said faintly.

Dean chose to ignore that. "Did you ever miss us?" He finally asked.

"Every day." He admitted. "Almost every second."

Dean looked up at Sam. "Really?" he couldn't believe it

Sam nodded, "you were always in my life then it just stopped. I wanted to call and tell you about everything. But I couldn't."

"You could've, Sammy. You know you could've."

"If I'd have heard you back then, just one word out of your mouth and I'd have come running home."

Dean honestly couldn't believe he had just heard those words coming out of his brother's mouth. He had to take another sip to contemplate it. Sam sat up and sighed, "I was scared of being on my own. Scared of not having my big brother protecting me from my own shadow."

Next thing Sam knew, he had arms around him. Dean was hugging him, for the first time in four years. Sam gasped softly, almost crying again just from the familiar feeling. He clung to Dean desperately, not trusting him not to pull away.

They were practically spooning in silence for what felt like a good quarter of an hour. Sam pulled away finally, smiling sheepishly. He sighed, "I-I'm sorry."

"You don't have any right to be, with everything you've gone through tonight." Sam noticed that Dean's cheeks too, were tearstained

Sam reached up, wiping Dean's cheeks, "Don't cry. Please."

Dean glared at Sam for a moment "Im not crying… I..I… ok Ill admit I am tearing up. I missed you little bro."

"I missed you too, Dean" Sam admitted again.

Dean gave Sam another squeeze. "Its gonna be fine Sammy. You'll pull through."

Sam nodded slowly. "So, what have you been up to?" said Sam, desperately trying to change the subject. "I know you've been with Dad but.."

"Don't talk about dad. Not now. Its just us for a while." Sam nodded again, his conversation starter coming to a dead-end.

Dean let go of Sam and held onto his shoulders "Say what, how about we go out for a drink or something….. get pie on the way"

"Dean…I don't know… I'm not really up for it, plus you've been drinking…" Sam glanced at the half empty whiskey bottle. "Hey, tell you what, I'll wake up nice and early tomorrow and buy us some coffees. And pie." He added, looking at Dean's expression.

Dean smiled "You got yourself a deal"

Sam kept true to his word. By the time Dean stirred, he noticed the cup of coffee next to him…along with a slice of pecan pie.

"Youre a good sport Sammy…. thanks" Dean took a sip of the coffee and ate some pie

"That's a thank you for yesterday, and a sorry cuz I obviously was bumming you out"

"Its alright…. this makes up for it" Sam smiled, relieved. Dean smiled back and sighed happily "Just you and me…"

"Yeah." Sam thought about how they'd be on the road again..

"Come here" Dean patted the seat next to him

Sam sat down. "What's up?"

"Im worried about dad…..I just….I don't know"

"We'll find him, Dean." Even though Sam had his own opinions about John, he tried to be as comforting as Dean was the night before.

Dean gave Sam a hug "Thanks for the comfort"

Sam smiled "anytime"