He sits alone on the unmade bed; golden morning light filtering through the blinds covering the window but the warmth doesn't reach him. He feels cold inside. There is nothing but a cold, empty abyss. His heart aches to feel something, anything but this, this loneliness, this hopelessness, this defeat.
He knew he shouldn't feel this way, doesn't deserve to feel this way. He's lucky. He's blessed. He has a full scholarship to one of the most prestigious colleges in the country, a girlfriend who loves him, and, he just received news that a law firm in the city wants to interview him for an internship next week.
What does he have to be unhappy about?
And yet… and yet… there is this suffocating weight, pressing down on him, trying to bury him in its dark embrace. It sucks every ounce of joy, of contentment from him, leaving him hollow and hopeless.
He closes his eyes, draws in a sharp breath.
He knows he can't go on like this much longer. He needs to end this. One way or another.
His phone is sitting on the rumpled seats beside him. He looks at it. How easy it would be to call the one person he could always confide in and let everything out, but, even as he is reaching for the phone, he knows he won't make that call.
The one person he wants to, no, needs to talk to about this invisible, insatiable monster, wouldn't understand, and couldn't understand.
He has everything he ever wanted. Why should he be so unhappy?
No, he'll remain silent, suffering under this terrible weight until it crushes him.
The shower turns off in the bathroom attached to the bedroom and Sam plasters a smile on his face as Jessica steps out, wet hair dripping down her shoulders, towel wrapped around her.
"What were you doing?" she asks innocently as she reaches for her panties.
"Just thinking," Sam tells her, holding the smile that feels so fake that surely she must know something isn't right.
"Well don't think too hard," Jessica pads over to him and kisses his forehead, "You'll give yourself a headache."
As soon as she turns, Sam's smile slips and he can feel the monster start to breathe down his neck again, panting, waiting patiently for him to crack.