p class="p1"span class="s1"Harry Potter Surprise! The Surprising Sequel!/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Not for the first time, Harry realized how much of a dumbshit he really was. He was a emfather/em. A emhusband./em For over a decade, he'd enjoyed playing his role in his little nuclear family. He reveled in the accomplishments of his children. He basked in the glow of his wife's beauty. How could he not swell with pride when James, aged 11, wrote home announcing his placement in the Gryffindor house? How could he be disappointed with his life when he got to return home every evening to Ginny's fiery wit and Lily's uncontainable excitement with the world? It was easy to convince himself that he was perfectly happy with the life he had built for himself in the wake of Voldemort's defeat./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" And yet, the prospect of seeing Draco Malfoy again, even under the pretense of looking for their sons, sparked feelings in Harry. Feelings he thought he'd buried long ago. He found himself falling asleep, his arms wrapped around his wife, but waking up with Malfoy's name on his life. He kept finding sparks fire out of his wand - accidental magic that made him feel like a kid again, discovering something new and enticing./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" He knew it was only a matter of time before he was reunited with his ex-nemesis/lover. After all, Albus and Scorpius were close, and although Harry outwardly condemned the friendship, inside, he liked knowing that the bond between Potters and Malfoys had reached a second generation. He even found himself wondering if the two boys were falling in love, simply because of how happy Albus was when he talked of Scorpius, but he knew better than to ask. The ground between him and his younger son was far from stable./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" His younger son. His emson./em That's all this was about. He had to work with Malfoy to find Albus. End of story. Except it wasn't the end of the class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Ginny knew; he could tell by the way she watched him move around their home with careful, narrowed eyes. He kept finding her staring at him from a doorway, having been standing there for who knows how long. He never told her about his romantic, 16-year-old tryst, but she knew anyway. Part of Harry worried about who else knew, or at least suspected. The other part of him didn't give a class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Filled with a sudden conviction, Harry quickly changed into his best suit. He spritzed himself with a cologne that smelled of green apples. He fumbled with shoelaces before using magic to tie them instead. He slipped out the door and carefully, slowly, walked two full blocks before apparating himself across London, not far from where he knew Draco Malfoy lived./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Their official reunion was scheduled for tomorrow morning, but Harry wanted to clear the air. Away from their wives. Away from any Ministry workers. Away from the situation at hand. Just him, and Malfoy. Just like old times. He was The Boy Who Lived, but he hadn't felt alive since that afternoon with Malfoy./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" With each step towards the Malfoy home, Harry's heart quickened. It skipped, jumped, and flipped within his chest until it sunk deep into his stomach. He had arrived. On the doorstep, a black marble gargoyle came to life and began to squawk loudly and fiercely. This was, he supposed, how Malfoy handled the whole I'm-a-wizard-and-I-don't-understand-doorbells issue. The gargoyle squawked four times before becoming still once more, but nobody came to the door. Curious, Harry moved closer. How odd. The door was cracked open./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" His veins grew cold. No wizard living in a Muggle city - albeit a heavily wizard-populated one - would ever just leave his door open. Somebody must have broken in. Malfoy was in trouble./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Wand out, Harry charged into the house, only to find the first floor seemingly empty. Horrible images flashed in his head. Malfoy bleeding out in the bathroom. Malfoy bleeding out from the spiders in the Room of Requirement. Malfoy almost being swallowed by class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" A moan swept through the walls of the house, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Adrenline surged through Harry's veins. He felt like a teenager again as he climbed a creepy AF staircase, two steps at a time. When he reached the top of the stairs, he heard a familiar voice cry out. emMalfoy!/em He followed the noise down the hall, ready to throw curses, even forbidden ones, at whoever was hurting Malfoy. The sounds of the struggle grew louder and louder with every step…/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" In one swift movement, Harry kicked a bedroom door open and jumped into the class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Draco Malfoy was face down on the bed, with a large, ugly, green monster pinning him down. Both Malfoy and the beast were both in the nude and drenched in class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Harry stood in horror, sick to his stomach. "M-Malfoy?"/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Malfoy turned his head to the side, shocked to see Harry Potter standing in his bedroom doorway. "Potter!? What the fuck?"/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!" the horrible beast roared, whilst pushing himself deeper into Malfoy, who let out an involuntary moan./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh, Shrek… what you do to me…"/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shrek, the ogre, roared a might roar./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Tearing up, Harry swore and threw a devastating hex at Shrek, who seemed unaffected by class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "NICE TRY, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Shrek boomed. "NOW GET OUTTA HERE SO THAT I CAN DOMINATE THIS SWAMP BEFORE PRINCESS FIONA REALIZES I'VE GONE!"/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" But Harry couldn't move. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him, even though it was grotesque to watch. He was losing his one shot at true happiness before his very eyes./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Potter," Malfoy murmured, "just go. Just get out of our swamp."/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" He couldn't breathe, but somehow he found the will to spin around, jog down the stairs, and leave the house./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" He ran a mile, not towards home, not in any direction, before pain and sadness were replaced with red hot anger. How dare Malfoy dismiss him like this? How fucking dare he? He was Harry James Potter. He could ruin Malfoy's class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Ay! Yo! Potter!"/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Harry turned around slowly to face the large, hulking shape moving steadily towards class="Apple-converted-space" /spanFear gripped him. Was it Shrek? Was he about to die at Shrek's monstrous hands? But as the shape grew closer, he made out the rough features of his cousin, Dudley. Harry's eyes widened. It'd been years since he'd seen Dudley class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Hey, Duddy-kins! How's it—"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" That was all he got out before Dudley punched him in the face, knocking him out. In Harry's last moment of consciousness, he realized that it wasn't Shrek at all… It was Dudley in an ogre suit!/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Not for the first time, Harry realized how much of a dumbshit he really was. He was a emfather/em. A emhusband./em For over a decade, he'd enjoyed playing his role in his little nuclear family. He reveled in the accomplishments of his children. He basked in the glow of his wife's beauty. How could he not swell with pride when James, aged 11, wrote home announcing his placement in the Gryffindor house? How could he be disappointed with his life when he got to return home every evening to Ginny's fiery wit and Lily's uncontainable excitement with the world? It was easy to convince himself that he was perfectly happy with the life he had built for himself in the wake of Voldemort's defeat./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" And yet, the prospect of seeing Draco Malfoy again, even under the pretense of looking for their sons, sparked feelings in Harry. Feelings he thought he'd buried long ago. He found himself falling asleep, his arms wrapped around his wife, but waking up with Malfoy's name on his life. He kept finding sparks fire out of his wand - accidental magic that made him feel like a kid again, discovering something new and enticing./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" He knew it was only a matter of time before he was reunited with his ex-nemesis/lover. After all, Albus and Scorpius were close, and although Harry outwardly condemned the friendship, inside, he liked knowing that the bond between Potters and Malfoys had reached a second generation. He even found himself wondering if the two boys were falling in love, simply because of how happy Albus was when he talked of Scorpius, but he knew better than to ask. The ground between him and his younger son was far from stable./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" His younger son. His emson./em That's all this was about. He had to work with Malfoy to find Albus. End of story. Except it wasn't the end of the class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Ginny knew; he could tell by the way she watched him move around their home with careful, narrowed eyes. He kept finding her staring at him from a doorway, having been standing there for who knows how long. He never told her about his romantic, 16-year-old tryst, but she knew anyway. Part of Harry worried about who else knew, or at least suspected. The other part of him didn't give a class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Filled with a sudden conviction, Harry quickly changed into his best suit. He spritzed himself with a cologne that smelled of green apples. He fumbled with shoelaces before using magic to tie them instead. He slipped out the door and carefully, slowly, walked two full blocks before apparating himself across London, not far from where he knew Draco Malfoy lived./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Their official reunion was scheduled for tomorrow morning, but Harry wanted to clear the air. Away from their wives. Away from any Ministry workers. Away from the situation at hand. Just him, and Malfoy. Just like old times. He was The Boy Who Lived, but he hadn't felt alive since that afternoon with Malfoy./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" With each step towards the Malfoy home, Harry's heart quickened. It skipped, jumped, and flipped within his chest until it sunk deep into his stomach. He had arrived. On the doorstep, a black marble gargoyle came to life and began to squawk loudly and fiercely. This was, he supposed, how Malfoy handled the whole I'm-a-wizard-and-I-don't-understand-doorbells issue. The gargoyle squawked four times before becoming still once more, but nobody came to the door. Curious, Harry moved closer. How odd. The door was cracked open./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" His veins grew cold. No wizard living in a Muggle city - albeit a heavily wizard-populated one - would ever just leave his door open. Somebody must have broken in. Malfoy was in trouble./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Wand out, Harry charged into the house, only to find the first floor seemingly empty. Horrible images flashed in his head. Malfoy bleeding out in the bathroom. Malfoy bleeding out from the spiders in the Room of Requirement. Malfoy almost being swallowed by class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" A moan swept through the walls of the house, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Adrenline surged through Harry's veins. He felt like a teenager again as he climbed a creepy AF staircase, two steps at a time. When he reached the top of the stairs, he heard a familiar voice cry out. emMalfoy!/em He followed the noise down the hall, ready to throw curses, even forbidden ones, at whoever was hurting Malfoy. The sounds of the struggle grew louder and louder with every step…/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" In one swift movement, Harry kicked a bedroom door open and jumped into the class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Draco Malfoy was face down on the bed, with a large, ugly, green monster pinning him down. Both Malfoy and the beast were both in the nude and drenched in class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Harry stood in horror, sick to his stomach. "M-Malfoy?"/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Malfoy turned his head to the side, shocked to see Harry Potter standing in his bedroom doorway. "Potter!? What the fuck?"/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!" the horrible beast roared, whilst pushing himself deeper into Malfoy, who let out an involuntary moan./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh, Shrek… what you do to me…"/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shrek, the ogre, roared a might roar./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Tearing up, Harry swore and threw a devastating hex at Shrek, who seemed unaffected by class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "NICE TRY, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Shrek boomed. "NOW GET OUTTA HERE SO THAT I CAN DOMINATE THIS SWAMP BEFORE PRINCESS FIONA REALIZES I'VE GONE!"/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" But Harry couldn't move. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him, even though it was grotesque to watch. He was losing his one shot at true happiness before his very eyes./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Potter," Malfoy murmured, "just go. Just get out of our swamp."/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" He couldn't breathe, but somehow he found the will to spin around, jog down the stairs, and leave the house./span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" He ran a mile, not towards home, not in any direction, before pain and sadness were replaced with red hot anger. How dare Malfoy dismiss him like this? How fucking dare he? He was Harry James Potter. He could ruin Malfoy's class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Ay! Yo! Potter!"/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" Harry turned around slowly to face the large, hulking shape moving steadily towards class="Apple-converted-space" /spanFear gripped him. Was it Shrek? Was he about to die at Shrek's monstrous hands? But as the shape grew closer, he made out the rough features of his cousin, Dudley. Harry's eyes widened. It'd been years since he'd seen Dudley class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Hey, Duddy-kins! How's it—"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1" That was all he got out before Dudley punched him in the face, knocking him out. In Harry's last moment of consciousness, he realized that it wasn't Shrek at all… It was Dudley in an ogre suit!/span/p