Preface: Ok so, this is sorta why I'm a slow writer, I spread myself too thin on so many things it gets ridiculous and then not everyone likes all the things and I feel bad. But don't worry, I'm taking a break from all the important stories to focus on this, F/GitR and a little something I like to call Crossover Boogaloo. My original plan was to have F/GitR and YAEF end on the same day as JAEF, but that plan changed slightly. For now though, you'll need to be playing guess the plot twist with all of my stories and i won't tell you which one is most important.
Now on to this story in particular. I've basically made Evangelion into a magical girl story similar to Sailor Moon, Pretty Cure or any other one in the genre. It's not a crossover, though it may make like, a single reference. I cannot promise you a literary masterpiece on the level of Madoka Magica, only high school lesbians, 'friendship' an-nevermind, I can promise you Madoka Magica.
I've also broken a few of my personal rules for writing fan fiction. 1: Kaoru should never be a love interest. 2: Don't use honorifics unless it's for comedy. 3: Gendo is bad at parenting.
I would also like to address a short message to the 'Mairy is a Lazy Bastard Association' Board Chairman: I can write at whatever pace I please, so shove it up your Scottish anus.
Mahou Shoujo Shiiko-chan.
First Spell: Then Everything Was Lesbians
The boy stepped off the train into a throng of people, which was a given, given the fact that the apprentice mage had decided to arrive in the bustling metropolis just as most schools were allowing students to leave. It was to his luck, the voice in his ear said, that many students were apparently remaining within the schools for a while longer for some reasons. The boy immediately sent back a reply through the one-way telepathic link.
'That's because many students remain within the school grounds to pursue feats of physical or intellectual prowess. Surely a great and mighty sorcerer such as yourself would encourage these things in today's youth.'
'Take care not to forget, Nagisa-kun, you are also one of today's youth. Now get us up high on a hill or something, we need to find where Adam's base of operations is.' With a light smirk and a shift of the bag he held, the boy left the train station and made his way toward the tallest and closest point in the city, a very large hill reaching almost as high as some of the skyscrapers in the distance.
...
"Goodbye Rei-chan! Don't stay at the arcade too long, your sister will get worried if you're out too late." Shiiko called out of the second floor window, much to the chagrin of the people crowding the sports field adjacent to the school's front gate.
"Ikari-san, please don't yell out the window like that." The mousy-haired class representative sighed. "I know she's your friend and she lives on your street, but you don't have to be so loud, now the sports clubs will be mad at us again."
Turning away from the ever so mentally-demanding job of cleaning the windows, Shiiko bowed by way of apology. "Sorry Hikari-chan, I just get so worried about Rei-chan since she doesn't have many other friends."
As if this entire event had been scripted by a moron, the classroom door was slammed across its floor tracks by a very angry redhead in sports bloomers. "Ikari!" the girl screamed. "Quit yelling crap out the window when sports clubs are trying to practice!"
Shiiko adopted a very masculine voice she had heard from her father's friends, prostrating herself before the girl in apology. "I am most sorry Sohryu-sama, please allow me to atone for my sins in a most honourable manner." Saying this, Shiiko raised her upper body and jammed the handle of the window cleaner into her stomach, drawing it across and out in an imitation of traditional ritual suicide.
Sohryu tapped the handle of a broom she had just picked up against Shiiko's neck. "There, you're dead, now get back to work. And stop yelling out the windows, you don't see me running into your club and yelling about my friends."
Except Toji Suzuhara had to point out the obvious. "You sorta do that already; whenever Shiiko does it you run around yelling at her." He said, taking the disturbance as a momentary break from cleaning the classroom.
"Plus, none of the other clubs have an issue." Another girl, Keiichi Aida said, zooming her handheld camera onto the lower hem of Sohryu's bloomers. "It's really just you Asuka, perhaps you like Shiiko and you're playing hard to get. Am I close?" She queried, pushing the camera lens very much into Asuka's personal space.
"Gott Verdamnt! Is every one at this school a lesbian of some description?" Asuka exclaimed, jamming one hand over the camera lens and bringing the other down hard on Keiichi's skull.
"Don't think I am." Shiiko chirped, taking a moment to think about the question.
"Sure hope not." Toji droned.
"No." Hikari said, clearly annoyed with the interruption to her precious cleaning schedule.
"Huzzawhat?" Their teacher said, having fallen asleep halfway through the last lesson of the day.
Asuka turned on her heel, intent on leaving this den of madness behind her. "I have ceased to care, I'm leaving. But can someone please rein Ikari in? Every day she yells something stupid right at the front gate and I can't help but think she's mentally challenged."
Shiiko adopted a hurt expression, even though Sohryu couldn't see it. "I don't know anything about my mental issues Asuka-chan, but I can tickle you silly!" and with that, she leaped across the small gap between them and brought Asuka to the ground with her weight.
"Someone help! Get this madwoman off of me! Aida you bitch, that's my ass!"
As Asuka was crying out about oppression of her rights to not be molested, Toji diligently retrieved Keiichi's camera from where she had dropped it and began to record the scene unfolding around him, just as Keiichi had told him to do if this situation ever arose in real life.
...
He felt it again, that tug on his mind that told him it was nearby.
"Master, can you feel that?" He said, casting an analytical eye over the ebb and flow of the city's magic. Again there came a rustle from his bag, telling him that whatever was happening in there was most likely too magical for him.
"Well I don't know, Nagisa-kun, I feel a whole lot of hessian sack and 5th Plane Extending spell and not much else. Maybe if you had let me weave a viewing spell into your clothes I could tell you." Clearly his master was slightly miffed at having been forced into a magically extended sack hidden inside a normal travel bag without any chance of seeing the outside world for the next twelve or so hours, but such were the downsides of hiding from a primal being at the source of all magic by polymorphing yourself into some kind of magic ferret.
With a smirk that only he could currently see, Nagisa reached into the bag and broke the seals keeping the excess magic juice from leaking out. Scampering up his arm came his master, silvery fur ruffling in the wind.
"I thought I'd never feel the wind in my hair again." The great and mighty wizard said, beady magic ferret eyes taking in the city. "I really should have installed an air circulation spell in that sack, it got very stuffy when I started farting."
"I did not let you out so we could discuss the infirmities of old age Master, I believe Adam has started his movements and want your opinion." Taking a chocolate bar out of one of the mundane pockets of the bag, Nagisa tore it open with his teeth while pointing out somewhere in the city too far for normal eyes to see. "There's a powerful magic that feels much like a familiar spirit down below, along with a human with some stunning potential. It may just be me, but I think Adam's gathering people with high latent powers and using them somehow." Nagisa tried to push some of the hair out of his eyes but found his view blocked by an entirely different set of silvery strands.
"Move out of the way, I'll be the judge of this." His master said from the lofty vantage point of his student's head. "Normal over there," he began to mutter, "normal here too, aha! There we go: one human, probably female, high magic potential. She's moving away from several small magical beings and that's not too good." He suddenly trailed off.
"Master, I can't tell what you mean if you insist on blocking my eyes like that."
"Not my fault you can't see with your third eye."
"Even if I could Master, I don't need a third opinion on polymorphed wizard testicles. Just tell me instead, I no longer wish to remember this day." Nagisa grumbled, adopting a posture that one could only describe as 'grouchy'.
"Just northwest of the girl is a very large magical presence that has the same feel as the small ones chasing her; I think they're gathering people with latent magical potential and harvesting them somehow."
Nagisa grabbed the bag from where it lay on the bench, chocolate bar falling to the ground unnoticed. "You could have told me after we had rescued her, now we might not make it in time."
He leaped away from the hill with a speed that most mundane humans wouldn't bother following.
...
The small creatures were fairly relentless, Rei surmised. No matter how many alleyways she led them down, no matter how many rocks she threw, they kept chasing her. The ones crawling across the walls were worse, just based on how little they were phased by a metal bar to the snout. With her back to the wire fence and no way out except through the writhing mass of chittering monsters, Rei Ayanami began her last stand. Hearing a scratching high above her, she tore her gaze from the lower throng to await the fresh horror coming rapidly from above.
A shadow fell down, bouncing from wall to wall to slow its descent. Dropping the last few metres, the shadow broke its fall on the writhing mass below. Rei could only watch as the shadow, now clearly visible as a young boy with a large cloak, laid into the monsters around her.
From within the depths of her mind, something changed.
"Hello, young lady in the blue? Can you hear me?"
"I-i can hear you." Rei stuttered, an edge of fear finally creeping into her voice.
"Good." The voice said again. "I'm about to drop something down to you. It'll survive the fall, you just need to pick it up and hold on tight."
The next moment, there was a 'clink' behind her, just on the other side of the fence.
...
The next morning, Rei came to school with her arm wrapped in bandages.
Five minutes later, the teacher introduced a new student to the class. From Shiiko's careful observations, this new student was rather good-looking; as he turned to write his name on the board, every girl in the class except for Rei was watching his sleek fingers dance across the board. When he was finished, he faced the class and spoke, his voice calm and formal.
"As I hope you can see, my name is Kaoru Nagisa. I do not have any particular likes or dislikes, but I do play the piano." He fell silent immediately.
"What an, ah, explanatory introduction, Nagisa-kun." The teacher said, clapping her hands together to regain the attention of the class. "Why don't you sit over there, by Suzuhara-kun."
Toji 'harrumph'd, he clearly didn't want to associate with the only other named male in the class.
"Hello there, Suzuhara-san I presume?" Kaoru said as he took his place, a good-natured smile plastered across his face. "I hope you do not hate me at least. I believe that would be non-beneficial to us both."
"Whatever, just don't go pissing me off."
...
When the lunch period began, Nagisa was very quickly swamped by his new colleagues, many of them eager to know 'Do you have a girlfriend?' and 'Does she mind sharing?'. Making his excuses as politely as possible, the silver-haired boy navigated the throng and placed himself beside Shiiko, who was giving Rei a concerned grilling on the exact source of her bandages.
"Excuse me," he interjected, "but I don't believe I got your name yesterday."
"Rei Ayanami." The girl in question stated. "Do you have a reason to be here?"
"Not particularly. I met you yesterday and just today found that we're in the same class. I just feel I should know more about your situation." Nagisa kept his hands neutrally by his sides the entire time, but somehow Shiiko was holding one hand in a crushing grip right under his nose.
"Did you save her?" Her voice was low, conspiratorially so.
"Pardon?"
"Was there a monster that you saved her from? That'd be so cool!" Shiiko suddenly began to bounce on the balls of her feet, all happiness and sunshine suddenly.
Nagisa laughed. It wasn't a prolonged bout of laughter, just that single 'hmm' that sounds more like a honk if you breathe right. "Nothing that fantastical. I know of the events that transpired, but I have no reason to tell you."
Shiiko pouted mightily, enough so that dimensions have collapsed under lesser pressures. "Why not? I'm Rei's friend, you're just someone she met yesterda-" she cut herself off, dropping Nagisa's hand and bringing her lips very close to Rei's ear. From there, a stream of whispering began, except Nagisa could hear it, so it wasn't really whispering.
A stream of very hushed but still audible speaking began. When it was done, Rei raised a single blue eyebrow. Lowering it after a moment, she began to speak. "No, I was not molested or left for dead in an alleyway where Nagisa found me and nursed me back to health. If it was something as dramatic as that I wouldn't be here today." She turned slightly in her seat to gaze at Nagisa, red eye to red eye. "I don't know if you had any other reasons for speaking to me, but unless it's because of Katsuragi, I do not need to know."
"I suppose I just wanted your name after all, I was a slight bit distracted yesterday." And so, with no trace of emotion on his face, Nagisa turned to face the waiting throng of students watching his every move. But something at that moment took hold of Shiiko's mind, prompting her to say things she really shouldn't have.
"My name's Shiiko Ikari, I play the cello." Shiiko blurted out, prompting Nagisa to spin on the spot. "You play the piano, right? We could play together some time."
Nagisa smiled. "I don't see why not."
"Do you like cakes?" she continued, her tongue more efficient at digging holes than any shovel. "I can bake a cake for after we play."
"I don't know, are there very many types of cake?"
"Well, there's chocolate cake, butter cake, black fo-"
"There are many." Rei helpfully provided. Suddenly, Keiichi and Toji came bounding into the general area. Well, Keiichi bounded in brandishing her camera, Toji reluctantly staggered along behind her with a look of great disapproval.
"That is a wrap people! I got all that on tape; come see me later if you want every piece of the action! Nagisa being suave, Ayanami being Ayanami, and if you're into that sorta thing, Shiiko being clumsy!" placing one hand across her mouth in a fake whisper, she imparted great knowledge to her friend slash confidant slash minion slash butt-monkey. "You owe me five hundred yen by the way." Then she suddenly straightened up and resumed being loud. "That's right, for the low price of only one thousand yen you can own, for yourself, Ayanami's first time, Shiiko's first confession and Nagisa's damn beautiful chin!"
"That wasn't a confession, Kei-chan!" Shiiko cried in protest. "I was just being nice to him because he was new and didn't know anyone."
"Well, Toji bet five hundred on you saying something stupid and I bet a thousand on someone confessing to Nagisa, so I think that sorts itself out nicely, doesn't it?" The amateur director said, cheerily pocketing Toji's money.
And sort itself out nicely it did. By the end of the week, Keiichi had received enough pre-orders for that recording that she could have bought herself a new camera. Of course, it didn't hurt that the rumours started at lunch had generated massive interest in the footage apparently containing the new student molesting Rei with a cello while Shiiko lathered herself in cake batter.
When the source of the rumours had been tracked down, Keiichi had this to say:
"I will not apologise for art."
...
Much before that, however, when the school day was ending, Nagisa again approached Rei. This time when Shiiko had run ahead to go see her mother at the university.
"I thought I said I did not want know about your plans unless it involved Katsuragi." She said as soon as Nagisa had gotten her attention.
"I think you will want to listen regardless of my connection to the old man. I just thought you should know that your friend with the cello has very high magical potential. If she were trained, she could probably wield more power than I ever could." Nagisa's expression was fairly neutral, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.
"Why does this matter to me? Katsuragi has told me that potential power means nothing without a proper outlet. Besides, I still have greater power, or those creatures would not have attacked me." Rei's voice was also fairly neutral, but a certain magical ferret's advice against the young man had given an edge to her words
"Be that as it may, you know that Adam is finding those humans with high magical potential, yes? And that is why those creatures were sent after you as the human with the highest unguarded potential, correct?"
"Yes, but now I can fight them." There was a slight pulse under her bandages, a throb as red-corded muscles bulged with power.
"And they know that too, hence why they'll probably move to the next person on their list." Nagisa left her with that, ducking down an alleyway and disappearing.
END FIRST SPELL: THEN EVERYTHING WAS LESBIANS
AN: I used the names 'Shiiko' and 'Keiichi' for Shinji and Kensuke in a different story, 'Yet Another Evangelion Fanfiction: Obligatory Rule 63 Edition'. I'm reusing them here because I'm a lazy bastard and they don't really need to change. Another slight change will be the 'pilot' of the 4th 'Evangelion'; as much as I want to imagine Toji in a magical girl dress, Katsuragi the Magical Ferret doesn't provide a dress to go with the powers, just a near-crippling pain as your new-found magic burns its way through your body.
A thought to entertain in this universe: I could have had Gendo be the mother, but instead he's a man that could actually win 'Father of the Year'. Yeah, this is definitely AU fan fiction.