The Words
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She takes the captain's tiny cabin, mostly because Chewie would kill Lando if he tried to enter.
She's thought it wouldn't matter where she cries herself to sleep, but it does. Everything smells of him.
Falling asleep with so much space around her hurts, too. She's known it was dangerous, stupid, and yet so tempting, getting this used to spending the night in Han's bed. She's felt so much safer, so much calmer, with the sound of deep, steady breaths filling the silence she dreads so much. Her nightmares lose so much of their terror when she doesn't have to wake up alone and cold in the dark, when there is someone who'll hold her until she's caught her breath.
It probably wasn't hard to guess, but he never asked what she'd dreamt about, hardly ever said anything at all.
Those were the moments when she'd almost said it out loud, the words always at the tip of her tongue, but she held them back like the cruel coward she is, until it was almost too late.
WeneedyouIneedyouIloveyou. She can't say that out loud again.
Not tonight.
He'll hear these words, though. Someday.
"I'll find you," she promises the darkness.
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