I Feel Fine

Chapter 1

It was safe to say Maura Isles preferred working on dead people to the alternative, especially when the alternative was her best friend.

Jane Rizzoli was always the hero, whether she was storming into the basement of a serial killer or tackling a 200-pound perp. It was a thing she prided herself on, and Maura could understand that. But this… this was a thing she would never comprehend. The way Jane's eyes went cold, the way her jaw set firmly in determination. The way she grabbed Bobby's gun and pointed it at her own gut, curling around it as if steeling herself for the blow.

The way she pulled the trigger. The way she and Bobby were knocked off their feet by the force of the shot.

Maura just didn't get it.

She still didn't get it even as she pressed two hands to Jane's bleeding stomach, murmuring things that she was positive weren't actually words as she tried to quiet a trembling Jane.

"It hurts it hurts it hurts…."

Then why on Earth did you do it? The thought intruded, louder than all others, and Maura had to clamp her jaw shut to keep it from verbalizing itself and spilling forth. She didn't need to be chastising Jane now, only needed to be helping her.

"Jesus, kiddo," murmured Korsak's rough voice as he knelt beside Maura. Taking off his jacket, the large detective draped it over the now violently shaking Jane.

"She's going into shock," said Maura, and she herself trembled violently – but with fear. She was so, so scared for Jane….

"That's a lotta blood," came Frost's weak voice from behind her.

"N…N'pukin', Fffrost…" The sentence was barely understandable, but Korsak let out a chuckle and Frost smiled, crouching down and squeezing his partner's ankle gently. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Jane gave a lopsided grin, but it faded quickly as she squirmed in pain, a tiny hurt sound escaping her throat.

"Try to lie still," Maura said gently.

"Hurts t-to breathe…" gasped Jane, and a new whine of panic started in Maura's head. Up… the bullet traveled up… oh God, it hit her lung…

Her fears were confirmed when Jane coughed violently and a hairline trickle of blood snaked down her lip. The Rizzoli's breathing rattled wetly in her chest, and Maura knew blood was getting into her lung.

"Oh God, okay Jane, I'm going to turn you on your side, okay?" Jane coughed again and nodded. Maura gently put a hand under Jane's shoulder and turned her, as carefully as possible, onto her side. Despite her efforts, Jane moaned, eyes glazed with pain, and more coughs wracked her body.

"I know, I know. It's okay," Maura soothed, heart breaking. This was not the Jane she was used to seeing. She was used to a tough, brassy, smart-ass Jane, not this trembling, weak and in pain Jane.

But, as it seemed, Jane and pain went hand-in-hand.

When the EMT's arrived it took two of them to pull Maura off of a now unconscious Jane. "Ma'am," they cried, "ma'am, it's okay, you can let go now, we'll take it from here." It took several shouts of her name to break through the haze, through the whine of panic invading her mind and drowning out all rational thought – a crippling condition for Maura Isles.

Maura was not one for religion – science was more of a religion for her than anything else. But, as she rode in Korsak's car to the hospital (they wouldn't let her ride in the ambulance), she found herself praying hard.

Please don't let her die. Oh, God, please.