Crowley walked into the house, ready to hand his wilted pink rose to Isabela, to tell her that it signified how their pathetic relationship had withered and died, and he was moving out today, when his nose was assaulted by the powerful smell of very burnt popcorn. He hurried into the kitchen to find a beautiful young woman with a curvy, girlish figure and long red hair staring helplessly at a still-cooking microwave and wringing her hands. He'd never seen her before.
He quickly stepped into the kitchen and stopped the microwave, opening some windows and waving the visible black smoke out of the room.
The girl was trembling. "I'm sorry," she said, in a sweet, high-pitched voice that instantly burned itself into Crowley's memory. "I'm a terrible cook. I don't know why I tried."
"Why didn't you turn off the microwave," Crowley growled. "You could have burned down the house. You're lucky I got here at the right time."
"I'm sorry," the girl repeated. "What are you doing in my mom's house?"
For once, Crowley's face was blank for a second as he struggled to think what to say. "Uh, I- that is, uh, your mom- Ah-hem. I came here to break up with your mom. She and I'd been dating."
Anna thought about that for a moment. "So, if you're breaking up with my mom, that means you're free."
"You could say that," Crowley began, but all of a sudden she was kissing him. He kissed her back instinctively, but then regretted it. He pulled away first, panting. "We can't do this. I don't even know your name, and technically I haven't even broken up with your mom yet."
"I don't care, and my name's Anna. So, are you this D***head my mom's mentioned?"
"I have no idea," said Crowley. "It sounds like she won't be too disappointed we're breaking up."
Anna shook her head. "That's not how my mom works. She only insults guys when she's in love with them. That's how I know she's long over you; she stopped mentioning you very often, and when she did, she'd sigh, you know, and call you by your real name and stuff." She bumped her hip against Crowley's leg and tangled her hands in his hair.
"C'mon, my mom will get over us. I wanna have some fun."
Crowley pulled away. "Sorry, Anna, I haven't developed a burnt-popcorn kink yet. I say we get this smell out of here, and I explain things to your mother first. Then maybe I can take you out to a coffee shop I know. We can get to know each other a little first."
Anna shut down. She ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. You don't even like me. That was totally inappropriate. I'll- I'll just go."
Crowley stopped her, holding out his business card. "In case you ever actually burn down your house. I have some connections. I could get you a decent lawyer if your insurance company won't deal fairly."
Anna smiled widely. "Thanks- Fergus Roderick Crowley. Maybe I could shoot you an email sometime."
Crowley winked. "That'll be lovely." He took the burned popcorn bag out of the microwave and threw it into the trash, tying up the bag and plopping it outside. "Where's your mum, honey?"