A/N: I really hope you like this one. It was great fun writing it, although it did take a hell of a lot of research (phew)!
I am aware that some of the songs are written after the Marauders were at Hogwarts, so it isn't technically "historically correct".
Sirius is in a great mood this morning. It's spring, it's weekend, the sun is shining, and he's in love. The object of his affection is sitting cross-legged on his bed very much concentrating on the book he is reading. Sirius thinks that he should pay attention to him rather than a stupid book. So he decides to put on a bit of the infamous Sirius-charm. He starts singing:
.
"I would fly to the moon and back if you be...
If you be my baby
I've got a ticket for a world where we, we belong
So would you be my baby?"
.
He leans in towards Remus and flutters his eyelashes. Remus gives him a peck on the cheek and starts reading again.
Not at all being satisfied with that, Sirius tries another song:
.
"Moon River, Moon River, wider than a mile
I'm crossin' you in style some day
Old dream maker, you heartbreaker
Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way"
.
"Good thing you are a talented wizard, so you don't have to pursue a career in singing," comments a bespectacled boy who is sitting on the floor playing wizard's chess with a small chubby blonde.
"Bullocks," says Sirius, "I'm a least as good as that Frank Sinistra guy."
"Sinatra." Remus corrects him. "And no, you are not as good as he is, although you ARE much cuter."
"If you're so smart, why don't YOU give it a go, then?" pouts Sirius.
"OK," says Remus and sings part of another Sinatra song:
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"A heart that's true, there are such things
A dream for two, there are such things
Someone to whisper darling you're my guiding star
Not caring what you own but just what you are"
.
Sirius eyes a challenge and continues with more 'moon lyrics' :
.
"Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through"
.
Remus puts down his book and is quiet for a minute, considering whether to pick up on the challenge or not. He chooses to give it a go:
.
"You must be my lucky star
'cause you make the darkness seem so far
And when I'm lost you'll be my guide
I just turn around and you're by my side
Come on shine your heavenly body tonight
'cause I know you're gonna make everything all right"
.
James and Peter have given up on their chess game and watch the show being played out in front of them.
Sirius continues:
.
"Baby, you can drive my car
Yes I'm gonna be a star
Baby, you can drive my car
And maybe I'll love you"
.
He makes it very clear to everyone, that drive my car is to be understood as a metaphor.
Remus decides to up the challenge a notch:
.
"It's time to shine and make
All your dreams come true
You wish upon a dog star
Wish upon a dog star"
.
"WOW," cheers Peter, "double up - both dog AND star!"
"Don't wet yourself, Wormtail," says James.
Sirius thinks that he can do better than that, and now he even remembers another Sinatra song:
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"Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me"
.
Singing the last line, he grabs Remus' hand theatrically and kisses him on the mouth.
"Have you guys any idea how cheesy this is?" groans James.
"Why, what on earth do you mean, Mr. Potter?" Sirius asks.
.
"Play with fire
Be insane
It's a danger game
Cast aside
A guiding star leads the way
Sirius - Sirius"
.
Remus sings and smirks.
"Hey, that's not fair!" cries Sirius. "There are no songs with the name Remus in them!" He frowns and thinks hard for a short while. He decides to give the game a little twist, and sings while shaking his hips shamelessly, latino-style:
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"Oh boy, I can see your body moving
Half animal, half man
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing
But you seem to have a plan"
.
James and Peter roll on the floor kicking and laughing.
Sirius treats them with a little extra dance, shaking his bum disturbingly close to Peter's face.
Remus slowly crawls across his bed on all fours in Sirius' direction, while continuing in a suggestive tone:
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"Baby's back, dressed in black
Silver buttons all down his back
High low, tippy toe
He broke the needle and he can sew
Walking the dog
just a walking the dog
If you don't know how to do it
I show you how to walk the dog"
.
"Is it just me, or is this game moving from sweet and innocent to lewd?" asks James.
Sirius ignores the question and sings:
.
"Everybody here is out of sight
they don't bark and they don't bite
they keep things loose, they keep it tight
everybody's dancing in the moonlight"
.
Peter claps his hands and says: "Very apt with the bark and bite!"
" - And tight," grins Sirius
"Aaaaargh! Too explicit!" yells James.
.
" I try to understand what is eating you
I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since that I last slept with you
What are we coming to?
Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky "
.
Sings Remus.
"Hey!" Sirius exclaims, "It hasn't been 58 hours! And you can't blame me . I always -"
"TOO. MUCH. INFORMATION!" shouts James.
.
"I saw the werewolf, and the werewolf was crying
How I loved the man, as I teared off his clothes
Cryin' nobody know, nobody knows my pain
When I see that it's risen; that full moon again
For the werewolf, for the werewolf has sympathy
For the werewolf, somebody like you and me.
And only he goes to me, man this little flute I play
All through the night, until the light of day, and we are doomed to play"
.
"Did you like the little flute metaphor, Prongs?" Sirius winks at James.
"I'm just glad you didn't actually start tearing off his clothes..."
"Very nice, Padfoot" Remus nods, clearly impressed."But..." he continues, "I think I can beat you in the number of different relevant words:"
.
"Boom, light that fire. Howl, howl, howl
Deergod's eyes
Wild music of the hoof playing in big fire.
Boom, light that fire. Howl, howl, howl
Lunatic night rises
Sonic of the moon flips them inside out
Sonic of the moon lifts us to higher
You got to rouse now. How, how, how?
Be a Sirius star
Revive your fire. Now, now, now
We have wolf minds
Knock your door of the minds hard to wake them up
Bark to the moon loud. Shout, shout, shout
Make a wish come true"
.
"I'm getting roused, all right. And I definitely want to make your wish come true..." Sirius smirks. "Except - I didn't much like the way you sneaked references to Prongs into the equation..."
"ME EITHER" cries James. "I will have no part in your dirty little game!"
"I didn't write the lyrics," Remus defends himself.
"All right," says Sirius, "this is my best and final entry:"
.
"The 28th day, he'll be bleeding again
And in lupine ways we'll alleviate the pain
It is his moon time, when there's iron in the air
A rusted essence, man, may I know you're there
Hey wolf moon, come cast your spell on me
Don't spill a drop dear, let me kiss the curse away
Yourself in my mouth, will you leave me with your taste?
(At this point in the song Peter and James utter cries of horror)
Beware the woods at night, beware the lunar light
So in this gray haze, we'll be meeting again
And on that great day, I will tease you all the same"
.
James jumps up, seeing that Sirius has grabbed Remus by the collar and the two of them staring hungrily at each other.
"Wormtail, I think this is our cue to GET OUT OF HERE!"
The two boys race out of the dormitory, slamming the door shut behind them.
Disclaimer:
- Characters are borrowed from J. K. Rowling
- Lyrics are borrowed from following songs and artists:
To the Moon and Back - Savage Garden
Moon River - Frank Sinatra
There Are Such Things - Frank Sinatra
Firework - Katy Perry
Lucky Star - Madonna
Drive My Car - The Beatles
Wish Upon a Dog Star - Sattelite Party
Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra
Sirius - Clannad
Hips Don't Lie - Shakira
Walking the Dog - The Rolling Stones
Dancing in the Moon Light - King Harvest
Black Star - Radiohead
Werewolf - Cat Power
Siriustar - Deerhoof
Wolf Moon - Type 0 Negative
I have taken the liberty to alter she to he a few places for obvious reasons