The Labyrinth
Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth or Gravitation, just this story...so yeah...don't bother suing...my counterstrike will involve shoving Caspian in inappropriate places, and trust me, you really don't want that bird scuttling up your pant leg. Been there, done that, right in the middle of my nap. Stupid parrot...
So basically, don't sue unless you want to become well-acquainted with Caspian's beak.
Shuichi was in love; not with a person, not with an idea, but with a book. He'd never understood the pull of reading, and couldn't even get into his own lover's work, but this was something entirely different. Never before had he been so taken with an inanimate object, never before had his imagination been so utterly and entirely captured.
Its language was pure, its wording perfect, and Shuichi had immediately identified with the heroine. He gazed adoringly at the aged cover, the illustration of the antagonist glaring up at him. He stroked the book for a few minutes, basking in its glory, trying to find words amazing enough to describe his new love.
"THIS IS THE BEST BOOK EVER!" Shuichi yelled, flopping backwards onto his bed and rolling from side to side chaotically. "BEST! BOOK! EVER!"
He made a few strangled gurgling noises and reopened his love, intending to get past the first chapter.
"Shut it!" Yuki commanded from his study, getting up from his desk and slamming the door to his office in order to quiet the purring noises issuing from Shuichi's room. Some thought it strange that they didn't share a room, seeing as they'd been together for three years, but then again, these people had no idea what he had to live with. "Idiot…"
Yuki returned to his work, trying desperately to ignore Shuichi. He'd discovered the accursed book in a second hand shop that they'd wandered past on their way home from meeting Tatsuha for drinks. Since that fateful encounter, it'd been all Shuichi could talk about. It was an old fantasy novel, a play about some spoiled brat, a baby-stealing goblin, and some sort of magical maze. He'd never had much patience for such light-hearted fun.
"Labyrinth this, Labyrinth that…" Yuki muttered, the sarcasm dripping from every syllable. He hated trivial fantasy, and the idea that the one thing Shuichi would actually read was his hated enemy turned his stomach.
Yuki muttered incoherently under his breath and tried to go back to work, pushing all thoughts of a book burning party out of his head. He had a deadline to meet, and if he didn't get this one, his editor was likely to go off her nut. As much as he'd rather sleep, or distract his idiotic lover from the accursed book, he had no desire to die by his editor's hand. He cracked his neck and started typing, waiting for the good stuff to come pouring out. He worked silently for twenty minutes, cranking out sappy paragraph after sappy paragraph.
"Hey, Yuki?" Shuichi asked quietly, sliding into Yuki's office, his new love clutched tightly to his chest.
"What?" Yuki replied through gritted teeth. He'd just gotten into the flow of the chapter, and was working very hard to convince himself that Shuichi was worth keeping around. Shuichi must have innately sensed the danger, and immediately clammed up. "Shuichi, I'm working, what the hell do you want?"
"Need help with a word…"
"You serious?" Yuki asked, hoping against hope that he wasn't. When Shuichi kept staring at him without saying a word, Yuki sighed and pushed away from his desk. "Spell it."
"L…a…b…y…" Shuichi started, tracing the cover of the book with his finger.
"Labyrinth." Yuki answered, shaking his head and facing the waiting word document. He had so many little jabs to say, so many comments, but if he valued his relationship in the slightest, he had to keep his mouth firmly shut.
"Oh…so that's why Ryuichi didn't know what I was talking about…" Shuichi said, his face lighting up. "Thanks Yuki!"
Shuichi bounded over to Yuki and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He spun around a few times and then pranced out of the room, the book held high above his head.
Yuki waited until he was out of ear shot before he resumed his grumbling. Shuichi could get really offended really fast and he didn't want to start an unnecessary fight over a book. Shuichi would eventually find something else to fixate on, and Yuki wasn't too worried. Shuichi'd fallen for things like this before, and it always lasted less than a week. His attention span was much too short for his own good.
Yuki sighed and shook himself, reassuring his inner worrier that Shuichi wasn't about to change his patterns.
Three months later, however, he wasn't nearly so convinced. Shuichi had done nothing but talk about the Labyrinth for the last quarter of the year, and Yuki was slowly but surely going insane. After the first few weeks of it, he'd tried everything in his power to distract his hyper lover, but nothing had worked. Bribes, threatened violence, attempted and successful abandonment, begging, groveling, nothing.
Knowing his lover, the constant chatter wouldn't stop until he either lost the book or lost interest, and the latter wasn't looking very plausible. In the last week, he'd started forming plans of removing the dreaded object from their lives, but Shuichi slept with the damn thing tucked under his pillow. Shuichi took it to work with him to help with lyrical inspiration, he showered with it near, he ate with it at the table, it never, ever, not once, left his side. Yuki had even considered getting Tohma involved, but his pride wouldn't allow him to admit that he was being outsmarted by Shuichi and a book about goblins.
He sighed angrily and rolled off of the couch, refusing to sit and bemoan the existence of a book any longer. He was halfway through a peaceful, Labyrinth-less dinner when Shuichi burst in.
"THREE MORE CHAPTERS!"
"Indoor voice, we discussed this…" Yuki said mechanically. He'd had to say the same exact sentence every day for months, as Shuichi found it necessary to give him a Labyrinth-related status report daily.
"But!"
"I'm not getting evicted because of that…thing." Yuki said, amending his word choice at the last second to avoid getting something heavy hurtled at his head.
"Oh, it's worth it…" Shuichi drooled, hugging the now-battered book and spinning around in a few drunken circles. "It's the best thing ever, Yuki!"
"I'm not convinced…" Yuki muttered, clearing his plate and stomping back into the kitchen. "You find better material in filthy magazines than in that…"
"HEY! Be nice to the book, apologize to Jareth!"
"Who?" Yuki asked before he could help himself. Up until now, Shuichi had refrained from giving him any character or plot information, convinced that he would commence reading it immediately after he'd finished with it.
"The goblin king!" Shuichi squealed, catapulting across the dining room table and landing in the middle of Yuki. Once he'd seated himself comfortably on Yuki's squirming body, he cleared his throat and launched into an hour-long description of his favorite villain.
Yuki was seeing red by the end of Shuichi's overly detailed dissertation, and had to do several deep breathing exercises that he'd learned from his shrink.
"Isn't that the sweetest thing EVER?" Shuichi asked, his eyes glazing over at the thought of Sarah and Jareth's tragic romance.
"That's not romance, that's pedophilia…" Yuki returned, shoving Shuichi off of his lap and making a break for it.
"Yuki…" Shuichi whined, getting up and giving Yuki his best puppy dog look.
"Oh come on, Shuichi, it's about a goblin with an owl complex that steals babies from confused teenagers that take funny peaches from strangers! What do you want from me?" Yuki spat, losing his temper. "Don't even get me started on all the little freak show sidekicks!"
"APOLOGIZE TO DIDYMUS!" Shuichi cried, glaring at Yuki for insulting his book.
"NO!" Yuki roared, storming into his study and slamming the door. He slumped against his desk and sighed, a little out of sorts. He'd vowed to keep his cool and not to let the book beat him, but that clearly hadn't happened. "Dammit…"
After he'd given himself ample time to calm down, he got up and peeked out, wondering where Shuichi had run off to. As far as he knew, Hiro had banned him from coming over until he got over the evil book, and Ryuichi was out of town on a shoot. Yuki crept through the apartment, not wanting to startle Shuichi.
He eventually got around to checking Shuichi's bedroom, and guessed from the giggling that he was already back to reading. He sighed and shuffled off, deciding that sleep would help clear his mind.
Yuki woke up feeling completely disoriented. It was still dark outside, and someone was rattling around in his kitchen. He was almost sure it wasn't Shuichi, as his normal morning routine involved either loud cursing or singing depending on the hour, and he felt the need to be armed. He dug around for a large shoe and slunk down the hallway, trying to make out the perpetrator.
He stopped around the corner from the kitchen and took a deep breath, preparing to knock Tohma's block off for once again invading his apartment and cooking without asking. He charged around the corner with the shoe raised and ran smack into Shuichi's small figure.
"AHH!" Shuichi yelped, spinning around and slapping Yuki in the face with a dish towel. "GOBLIN!"
"Shuichi?" Yuki asked incredulously, noting that it was only five in the morning.
"GOBLIN!" Shuichi yelled again, brandishing a wooden spoon.
"Easy…" Yuki said slowly, advancing on the panic-stricken vocalist. "Not goblin, novelist…"
"Novelist…" Shuichi murmured, nodding slowly. Once the gears in his brain resumed their normal turning, he made the connection between novelist and novel and immediately switched back to his fan girl mode. He turned away from Yuki and took a few deep breaths to stay calm; he had to be focused this morning. He resumed making his breakfast, purposely avoiding his lover.
Yuki noticed the change in Shuichi's eyes and sighed, resigning himself to another conversation sprinkled with Labyrinth-related topics. He pulled out a chair from the table and sunk into it, keeping a good hold on the shoe in case he needed it later. He could always plead self-defense, any judge in their right mind would understand after hearing the facts.
Yuki flopped forward and put his chin in his hands, waiting for the inevitable. Now that Shuichi had given up the goose, he was sure to start lambasting him with worthless plot lines and horrid character development. He was still a little thrown off by the early hours, but then again, they had spent the night apart.
"Why so early?" Yuki finally asked, his curiosity overpowering his words.
"Work." Shuichi answered stiffly, turning his back deliberately on Yuki. His lover's words about his beloved had stung, and he was determined to stay mad for at least a day. Plus, he had some special plans with K and Hiro to get to. He huffed and clanged a few dishes for added effect.
"Work? Don't lie."
"Well…"
"Well, what?" Yuki pressed, wondering what Shuichi was up to. He never withheld information like this.
"YOU'RE A MEANIE!" Shuichi yelled suddenly, spinning around and throwing a fork at Yuki's startled face. "TAKE IT BACK!"
"Take what back, knock it off!" Yuki said, scrambling to get out of Shuichi's reach.
"Apologize to the book, Yuki!"
"I'll die first." Yuki snarled, glaring at Shuichi and holding his ground. "Just go to work."
"No!"
"Don't start something you can't finish." Yuki told Shuichi, cracking his knuckles and staring down at the shorter man.
"Apologize!" Shuichi ordered, standing his ground with a cereal bowl in hand. When Yuki started advancing, he dropped the bowl into the sink and half-ran, half-hopped over to the kitchen door and out of harm's reach.
"Shuichi…" Yuki warned, advancing.
"Fine, fine!" Shuichi shrieked, cowering when Yuki got within five feet of him. He knew exactly what Yuki was capable of, and he had no intention of letting that happen this early in the morning.
"Glad that's settled." Yuki responded politely, backing off and sitting down again. "Now go to work, I don't want that lunatic in here shooting holes in my coffee mugs again."
"I'm not going to work…" Shuichi muttered absentmindedly, upset over his defeat.
"Hmm?" Yuki asked, mentally slapping himself as soon as he did. He really had to get control over his mouth before he asked a question he would regret hearing the answer to.
"I…I…" Shuichi stuttered, shocked that he'd slipped up. He'd trusted that his bad mood would have kept Yuki away that morning, and now he'd gone and spilled the beans on himself. "Damn…"
"Spill." Yuki told Shuichi, starting to enjoy himself. Shuichi was normally hilarious, but when he cornered himself with his own stupidity, the resulting show was priceless.
"Play practice…" Shuichi mumbled, shuffling his feet and staring determinedly downward.
"Play…what?" Yuki asked, startled. After he'd taken a second to quiet all the snarky responses running rampant in his head, he continued. "Ah…so that's why you're up so early…"
"Mmm hmm…can I go now?" Shuichi said quickly, making a snatch for his messenger bag. He'd gotten the rest of the band to help him put on a play version of the Labyrinth in order to win Yuki over, and now his beautiful ploy was falling down around him.
"Nope, I'm not done with you…" Yuki replied, grabbing the bag before Shuichi's shorter arms could. He pulled it onto his lap, raising his eyebrows when Shuichi glared at him. "What play? Some promo for the band?"
Shuichi's eyes widened, and then slipped to the side. He couldn't believe it; Yuki, the smartest person he'd ever met, had just given him a way out of the interrogation.
"Yep!"
"Bullshit." Yuki stated, noticing the sudden lack of twitching from Shuichi. "Don't lie."
"I'm not!"
"Oh come on, a play for a band? No. Not even Ryuichi would think that was a good idea, and there's no way in hell Tohma would let K get away with that. This is about that damn book isn't it?"
"You're paranoid…" Shuichi whispered, nodding dramatically in hope of annoying Yuki to the breaking point. When that happened, he'd have a small window to escape before death occurred, and he was pretty sure that he could outrun his chain-smoking lover. It was the only option he had left.
"You're obsessed."
"You…" Shuichi started, unsure of how to finish. He knew a few of Yuki's bigger buttons, but he was terrified to push too far. He needed a place to live, after all. But, if he didn't get out of this, his grand surprise would be ruined. In the face of having his marvelous scheme brought down to the ground, he chose homelessness over failure. "You're just jealous of the book."
"Excuse me?" Yuki snarled, narrowing his eyes and stiffening up.
"Yeah, you're jealous. I spend so much time with it after all…" Shuichi pressed, sensing he hadn't gone quite far enough. "It's definitely replacing you…"
"Right…" Yuki said, smiling slightly. Shuichi was trying to rile him up, and had missed the target with his last little attempt. "That's exactly it…"
"Shit…" Shuichi whispered, wincing when Yuki started to chuckle. He had the right idea, but the wrong follow-through. He thought for a few seconds, and then it hit him. "Yep, jealousy."
"No, we covered that one, try a new tactic…" Yuki drawled, leaning back in his chair.
"You're jealous of the book, it's so obvious that it's better than yours." Shuichi said carefully, crafting his speech perfectly. "It's the ultimate romance, so sorry that you can't quite live up to it with your little…what should we call them…pamphlets."
"What the hell?" Yuki spat, trying to get up and toppling out of his chair instead. "I'M NOT JEALOUS OF THAT DAMN THING! I'M THE MOST WIDELY PUBLISHED-"
Yuki stopped himself mid-rant and noticed that both Shuichi and the messenger bag were long gone. The front door slammed a split second later and Yuki shoved the chair in front of him over.
"Damn him…" Yuki muttered, pulling himself off of the floor and stomping off to his room. If he'd been outsmarted by Shuichi, he clearly needed to sleep more.
Well, this was bound to happen eventually. The Labyrinth is one of my favorite movies, and I'm head over heels in love with Jareth. Thus my two Labyrinth cosplays…
Anyway, I wrote this for my friend, who now owes me a Labyrinth fanfic. She didn't think I'd really do it. She doesn't know much.
So, here we go. I'm not sure how this is going to go, where it's going to go, or what's going to happen along the way, but I do have my ending all figured out so I'll most likely finish it. I'm planning on writing this and the Aladdin sequel in conjunction, hopefully that works out.
Over and out guys,
Amaya and the soon-to-be-appearing-in-this-story Caspian