Author's notes: season 4 episode two had a brilliant throwaway line that just begged for an explanation, so this is my attempt at one!
As always, I would love reviews, good or bad!
Disclaimer: I don't own glee; if I did Puck would never have graduated!
His Finest Moment.
Or how Puck beat up a police horse.
Ok, so he was just got out of juvie and he really shouldn't be as wasted as he was but they'd won the championship game. The team was back together, and it was kind of nice. Not in an emotional chic way, in a manly guy way, but yeh, it was nice. The whole team had gathered in an abandoned car park outside town, and they were having a few beers. Nothing wrong with that, just good honest football bonding. He was only on his third, or maybe sixth, beer, but who was counting? His parole officer wasn't going to jump out from behind a bush or anything. Probably not anyway, she was a scary lady…
He wasn't causing trouble, or stealing things, or beating up nerds, he was just sitting in his truck, enjoying the moment. Hell, he wasn't even going to drive home, he was trusting Finn with his baby later, (his truck, not his actual baby… that was a whole other story) just so he could stay on the right side of the law. Maybe, underage drinking wasn't exactly the right side of the law, but hey, he wasn't drinking and driving, what more could the damn cops want from him? He was trying.
So when Artie rolled up to his truck and suggested going on an adventure, well, he was only human, he couldn't say no to that. How much trouble could he get into with Finn Artie and Sam anyway? Hell the three of them were about as well behaved as anyone could be and besides, no offence to the dude but they were surrounded by fields; they could only go so far with Artie. So yeh, an adventure sounded like fun.
In hindsight he might have reconsidered if he had realised just how much alcohol Sam and Artie had consumed, but the three (or maybe seven) beers he'd had were kind of doing the talking at that stage, so he was out of his truck and walking towards the edge of the car park before he had time to consider. The only thought that really crossed his mind was how the word adventure sounded too girly, like they were Professor Challenger or something, (so his Ma read to him as a kid, what's wrong with that?) and they should really call it exploring, although actually that wasn't much better, he'd think about it and come up with a less girly word later.
They walked (or rolled in Artie's case) and drank beers he had stashed in Artie's chair. It was just nice, doing this sort of thing with Finn again. They hadn't really talked in years, since… well… since he had slept with Finns girlfriend, knocked her up, and then lied about it. So yeh, it was kind of his own fault, but he'd quoted top gun, a guy couldn't say no to that.
He was dragged out of his thoughts by Finn wanting to make a toast, to friendship of all things. The guy really was a girl sometimes, but he knew he was still on shaky ground there so he kept his mouth shut, opened his fourth (possibly ninth) beer and clinked his bottle against Finn's soda and Sam and Artie's beers. Yeh, life was good. Well, it sucked a lot of the time, but standing in a field with three of his buds, drinking warm beer, after finally winning something for the first time in his life, everything was good. Everything was good until they saw the horse.
Sam spotted it first and, because he couldn't hold his alcohol, totally freaked out, and started yelling about how the horse was looking at him funny. He even started trying to climb the fence to get to it. Puck knew Sam was in no fit state to climb stairs, never mind a five foot tall post and rail fence with what he was sure was an electrified wire at the top. So he did what any good friend would to when their drunken friend had a problem with someone, even if that someone was a horse. He stepped up.
Afterwards Finn and Puck told two very different stories.
Puck swore blind to anyone that would listen that as he had gotten close to the horse he realised there was a rider on it, and the rider was a cop. Puck, being the good friend that he was, wasn't deterred by this realisation, and marched up to the horse and punched it square in the face. The horse was K.O.'d by that first punch and the cop was too stunned to chase after them. He would remember the night he beat up a police horse for the rest of his life, it had been his finest moment.
Finn went around telling everyone who would listen that Puck had handed what was left of his tenth beer to Artie, fried himself on the electric fence when he tried to jump it, then marched up to a child's pony that had a pink ribbon in its tail and tried to punch it. The pony had turned just as Puck reached it and had caught Puck square in the balls with one of its hind feet. Finn and Sam Had hauled Puck's ass out of that field while he vomited up everything he'd eaten in the last two days. They had carried the ungrateful lump the whole way back to his truck, and dumped him in it while they finished partying. The fact that Puck had cried a little, well that was something that Finn, Sam and Artie swore they would keep just between themselves.
For the moment anyway, it made for damn good blackmail material.