My first fan fiction ever and it's a RPS! Didn't wanna post it but there is no point of letting it sit on my laptop cuz they are written so people can read them. I wrote the beginning listening to "The Harold Song" by Ke$ha. Please read and review! Constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated. Enjoy!
"Please, baby, don't leave me." James shouted and awoke from his dreams. He had dreamt of every one of their dates and he silently whispered his name, not expecting a response. He looked at the right side of his bed. He does not know why he did this because every morning he gets the same results. The hazel eyed twenty one year old didn't even try to fight back the tears as they feel. He would do this every morning and he knew it was because somewhere in the depths of his mind there was still a slim chance things would work out. He hated himself for what he did. The brunette let his body shake with the force of the tears. "Jamie, are you okay?" He heard his sister, Allison, ask at the door. James can't remember why he invited his family to his house because they have only been making things worse since the break up two weeks ago. He opened his mouth to tell her to go away and let him drown in the mess he had created for himself, but no sound would come out. He heard the door open and the light flickered on. James pulled the covers over his head to shield himself from the burning light. "Jamie, you can't hide under the covers forever." Allison said hoping to get some response from her brother. When no response came her face fell. She walked over and set on the edge of the bed, grabbing the black and red comforter. Allison hated that he refused to change the bed sheets; it was like he was just furthering his torture. "You know, changing the sheets might be a good start to getting over it and hopefully forgetting it." She prayed this did not upset the already distressed boy. "No, Ali! I don't want to forget it. I want the relationship back! I'm not ready to move on yet. I was and still am in love with him." James pulled the covers back and when Allison saw the tears running down her brother's cheek, it broke her heart and she truly understood how deeply James had fallen in love. She wrapped her arms around her brother's shoulders and rubbed his back in a soothing manner. "I had no idea you loved him that much." James buried his head into his sister's neck and fought the urge to think back to times before two weeks ago. "Hey James have you seen-" Said boy heard his brother's voice. "Is he okay?" Phillip asked his sister. She shook her head and Phillip's face softened. He knew just how hard the past two weeks had been; he had been there the whole time and James had always told him how much he had loved the boy. "Jay...I…ugh…you need to let it go man. Find someone new and move on. You barely function anymore." Phillip meant this in a caring way but apparently James did not see it this way. "SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE! HE WAS THE ONLY ONE AND WILL ALWAYS BE THE ONLY ONE FOR ME! YOU TWO DON'T GET IT! I LOVED HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING…MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF! HELL I STILL LOVE LOGAN AND HE'S GONE…he's gone." James whispered the last part. His outburst brought his mother, Cathy, to his bedroom and when she saw he son's current state, her heart broke in two because she knew there was nothing that could easy the pain and make her baby boy better. "Allison, Phillip, please let James and I talk alone." Said people glanced at James and then their mother before exiting the room. "Jamie, I know you loved Logan, but you can't keep going on like this." She walked over to him and her son into a hug. "Mom…I don't know what to do. I want him…I need him. I can't function without him. Why did I have to be so stupid? This is my entire fault. I can't blame Logan, he didn't do anything wrong. I just wish there was some way to fix this whole big mistake." James' tears fell down like a terrestrial downpour and his mom hugged him tighter. "First of all she kissed you. I do disagree with the fact that you kissed her back. Have you tried calling him?" James nodded and Cathy knew that Logan had either rejected him or had ignored the call all together. James wanted Logan in his life, whether it is as friends or, as James wanted it to be, together as a couple. "Mom, at this point I need him so bad that I'll just be friends with him if that's what he wants." Cathy smiled sympathetically and hugged her middle child tighter. "I know honey, I know." James whimpered and asked, "How can you need and love a person to the point that your happiness depends on how they feel and whether or not they are around you?" Cathy smiled gently and answered, "James, that's true love. When you can't live without someone and would do anything to make the other person happy, regardless of how they feel towards you. I know that you truly love Logan and I'm sure he still loves you-" "Then why won't he answer my calls or even acknowledge that I exist?" Cathy sighed. "James, you really hurt Logan and I bet he is scared that if he takes you back that you will do the same-" James went to interrupt her, he did not exactly want to kiss her, but he understood that Logan had truly trusted him, but she held up a hand stopping him, "even if it was a spur of the moment thing. You need to admit to Logan that you were wrong and that he is in control of what happens to the relationship, good or bad, and that you will not hold it against him if he doesn't want to date you again or be friends." James knew is mother was right. James understood that Logan held their future, his future, and James would not be mad at him if Logan hated him for the rest of his life. James wiped his tears away and heard his phone ring. Cathy kissed his forehead and left the room, shutting the door as she left. James answered his phone and was relieved that it was Kendall. Carlos and Kendall still talked to both of them because they had believed him when he said that Ciara Hanna had forced herself onto him, but they agreed that James shouldn't have kissed her back. "Hey bud, Scott wants everyone at the studio by noon." "Thanks, Ken. How is he?" Kendall sighed. "Jay, he is a mess. He cries all day and he hardly eats. You need to fix this and fast, James. I believe that…hold on a second…babe, what the hell are you doing?" James knew Kendall was talking to Carlos. "Ugh…I swear you are crazy. Anyways, James I believe that he still loves you." "I hope your right. I need him. I'm so lost without him." Kendall and James hung up and James got out of bed. He grabbed some sweatpants and a t-shirt and moved to the bathroom to take a shower. He got to the studio thirty minutes early and walked around. He finally set down in his dressing room and put his head in his hands. "Hey Loges, is James here yet?" He heard Carlos' voice. "I don't know, Carlitos. I haven't seen him." James' heart stopped when he heard the angelic voice of his ex-lover. "James, are you here?" Kendall's voice came from the other side of the door. James hopped up and looked around. God, what I wouldn't give for the floor to swallow me up, or for a door leading outside to be in here. James heard his dressing room door open and he assumed it was Kendall or Carlos because Logan was mad at him and he had his back turned to the door. "Hey, sorry I was busy going over a few things…um…tell Scott I'll be out shortly." James said, willing himself to stop crying. "James, are you okay?" James' blood went cold and his heart stopped. It wasn't Carlos or Kendall; it was his angel, Logan. "Yeah, I'm fine Logan. Thanks for asking." James whispered loud enough for said boy to hear but quiet enough that he hoped it masked the tears. "James, I know you're lying. Why are you crying?" Logan's voice was laced with a caring tone that James felt he didn't deserve. "No reason, Logan. I'll get over it." James said. He heard Logan step closer and, "James, turn around and talk to me. You owe me that much." James knew Logan was right but he was afraid that he would break down if he actually saw Logan. "Jamie, baby, please for me." The name of adornment made James turn around and he was shocked that Logan was standing right in front of him. "What do you want, Logie?" James asked pulling out Logan's pet name. "For you to talk to me, James, and explain everything to me. I just want to know why." I didn't even give him a chance to tell me his side of the story. What if she forced him to kiss her. Man I might have been a bad boyfriend. James sighed and sat down, waiting until Logan did the same. "I was in here waiting for you to get dressed so we could go out to dinner and I heard a knock on the dressing room door. I said come in and Ciara walked in. She was in a low cut shirt and a mini-skirt, but that did not faze me. We had a brief conversation and then she kissed and I pushed her away and said I was with you. She said that me being gay was a faze and forced herself on me and then I kissed back for a few minutes before I remembered I hate that bitch. Then I was going to push her away by grabbing her shirt and shoving her off, but you walked in and I guess you assumed I had kissed her first. Logan, I promise there were no feelings, no sparks, no nothing; I feel that with you and you only. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me. You control where our relationship goes from here. But just know that I really love you Logan, more than anything and I am really sorry." Logan didn't say anything for a while. So I guess he half way cheated. He'll have to earn my trust back though. "Jamie, I'm sorry that I didn't give you chance to explain and you didn't technically cheat. She is pretty hot, but I wanna take our relationship slow right now, okay?" James looked over at Logan with a shocked expression. "So we are friends?" James asked with excitement in his voice. Logan chuckled before getting up and sitting in James lap; he then proceeded to bury his face into James' neck. "No, we are still dating, but I wanna take it slow." James wrapped his arms around Logan and sighs happily. "I'm perfectly fine with that Logie." Logan smiles against his neck and places a chaste kiss to the area. He pulls back a bit and looks James straight in the eyes. Suddenly Logan has a random urge to feel that connection between them. He wraps his arms around the taller boy's neck and pulls him down for a passionate kiss. The kiss is everything they need and more. It let's James know that Logan still loves him and has forgiven him; the kiss tells Logan that him and James still have that connection that send tingling sensations throughout his whole body and has shivers running up and down his spine. They pull away to allow their bodies the denied oxygen it so strongly craved. Logan rested his forehead against James' forehead. "I missed you so much Logie." James says while nuzzling said boy's cheek. "I missed you too Jamie." At that moment Scott opened the door. "Okay lovebirds, let's film this episode so-" A hand appeared over Scott's mouth. "So I can go home and surprise Kendall for our anniversary." An overly excited Carlos nearly yelled. "It won't be a surprise if you can't keep your voice down." James teased the older man. Carlos smiled because he was happy to see his two best friends together and happy. With that they all left to record the episode. For Logan and James, the recording process could not have gone fast enough so when Scott called it quits for the day, the couple rushed to James' dressing room. "So Jamie, my house or yours?" Logan asked while hugging his Adonis from behind. "Well, my family is at my house so let's go to yours." Truly James was surprised Logan wanted to be sharing a bed together that soon. Logan interlocked his fingers with James and they left to the vehicles. After a tiny debate, they couple left in Logan's vehicle. "I know we usually watch movies, but can we just go to sleep tonight?" James smiled and answered, "Of course baby, whatever you want to do." Logan unlocked the front door and they headed straight for the bedroom. They changed into their pajamas and got in bed. James pulled Logan to him until he felt the shorter man's head rest on his chest. "Baby, I'm so sorry about what happened with Ciara. It will never happen again, Logan. I need you to much to lose you because of some girl. You are the love of my life. I love you and always will." James whispered into the brunette's ear. "I forgave you James, so drop it already. It's in the past and I just wanna look ahead to the future, our future. You're the love of my life too, babe. I love you too James and nothing will change that." Logan whispered back before his lips found their matching pair and they engaged in a passionate kiss. They settled down and found that missed comfort that came from the warmth of the other's body. "You own my heart Logie," was the last whispered words between the pair. That night both man fell asleep, for the first time in two weeks knowing that tomorrow would be a great day.