What he couldn't have
Disclaimer: Don't own any KH characters, associates, yadi-yadi-yada. This fic was inspired by Nijuuni's picture of the same name. It is on deviantART so go check it out if you can.
Warnings: yaoi, guy-guy action, AkuRoku, RokuReno, sexual themes, violence, slight teensy-weensy bit of gore, character death, NO happily-ever-afters.
So fast. Too Fast. So hasty, and careless. He knew he's walked into the lion's den. He knew the kid was strapped down with yellow tape that screamed out the phrase "Off Limits". He knew this was the final nail in his coffin. Even so, he shoved the boy--still a bratty little snot-faced teenager, Jesus Christ--down, touched every plane of quivering skin, and pulled roughly on his soft tresses.
He blamed his daredevil complex. He blamed his affinity to the fast life, like the exhilarating thrill of breaking a hundred in a midnight joy ride, no seat belts.
And what could be more thrilling, more reckless than seducing the boyfriend of his boss's son?
Searing green eyes flickered upwards to catch the murky blues. The boy made a small sound, a helpless, pathetic whimper, a plead perhaps--a weak attempt at grasping for composure--hissing something about stopping for the sake of them both.
The older male just scoffed, and took another cruel tug on his hair.
"Shut the fuck up."
And when it ended, he laid there silently, eyes staring into that white ceiling. He was topless, but nothing chilled him more than his own ambition for revenge, the crave to hurt that man, physically, or emotionally.
Reno.
He remembered how it all started. He dropped out of college, became unemployed for a while, got lucky and settled on an average job in the Shinra Electric Power
Company. Like he said, he was never the one for being ordinary; never the one for a simple, calm and plain life. But his job was exactly that; regular, nine-to-five, standardized and boring office work. He never quite knew why he settled for it, other than the fact that he had to eat three meals a day and use electricity just like everyone else.
So that was what he did, and he worked hard on it; just to add some color in his life, to change something, to make a difference. He befriended a few others, betrayed even more, finally working his way up to the "Director of Management". Fancy name, fancy job, fancy life. It was good.
Even the CEO of the corporation, Axel's boss, Rufus Shinra, appreciated his work; often calling him out to important dining with major associates of other significant companies.
Then the rumors came; they said that the son of Rufus Shinra was out of rehab. From what he had heard, Reno has earned Axel an impression of being a fucked-up, spoiled wretch that ended up in the rehab. It never concerned Axel.
So when words got into his ears that Reno was going to work here and was most likely starting out high due to his identity as the son of the CEO, it would be an understatement to say that Axel was shocked. No, it would be better described as devastated. He had worked his ass off for this tedious hell of a job, just to have it all swept out by some damn punk?! No way in hell was he gonna let that happen.
It'd even seemed obvious to Axel; that kid wasn't hard to spot. Standing there in the lobby, shirt messy, hair as red as his own and his face tattooed just like his. Next to him stood the boy, golden hair and looked like a downright pathetic pet. Axel scrunched up his face, walked away from them, and took another elevator with a bad feeling.
As expected, Reno was later introduced to the staff members, titled "Chief Director", just one step above Axel.
Axel went home that night with a drunken face, loosened tie, and a ticket for "reckless driving" along with a horrible dent in his car.
He didn't discover the importance-or rather, the value of the little boy's existence until a visit the kid paid to Reno during office hours one day. That ungrateful bastard snapped at the blond and threw his arm, knocking a cup of coffee onto the floor, the fragile glass shattering into the puddle of espresso. The silly little punk wanted to pick up the fragments, and cut himself doing so. Reno's initial reaction was one of the unexpected: fret, concern, and care. He stepped down to the blond, holding his injured finger and cooing him while scolding at the same time. Then Axel knew; he was Reno's weakness.
And now he found himself satisfied, happy and tasting the sweetness of revenge for the past hour.
The son of a bitch deserved it. He couldn't stand that tongue-flicking, redhaired, cocky lookalike. Reno had stolen everything that he worked for, so what's a little revenge, right? Right. Revenge was everything.
Maybe he did it because he knew he'd get into trouble. Maybe he really was fed up with this job and he just wanted an excuse to leave. Whatever reason it was, he did it and he's happy about it; his sigh of content confirmed that.
Roxas dared not to make a sound, dared not to make a move. He could hear the man—Jesus Christ, they don't even know each other's name—beside him sigh. Was he regretting now? Regretting what he'd done in the past hour? It would only be normal for anyone to do so. Because if Reno found out—Oh God, if Reno ever found out—he'd be dead, along with his brother.
He could feel the weight on the mattress shift as the guy slid away from the bed, entering the en-suite bathroom, the sound of an opened faucet following. When Roxas deemed it was safe, he quickly scrambled out of the bed, pulling all his clothes back on. His feet stopped at the door frame, his uncertainty turning his head around. When they were doing it… although Roxas could hardly focus, but he could tell there was something in those acid green eyes; something that he also had in common… hatred, towards the same man, Reno.
What he shouldn't have done, he did. He shook his head, denying that old voice in himself that was once the voice of reason, and escaped back to Reno's room. He often scorned himself for being such a coward, and for the same reason, he hated Reno.
It dated back to three years ago, when Roxas was still a normal teenager. He had his friends, he cared about his grades, he had a crush on a girl; everything was just normal. That day he arrived home just as the phone rang. It was a nerve-wrecking call that changed his life. He'd never forget that weak voice of his older brother, Cloud, quivering and breathing harshly, whispering with what little strength he had left. Reno then picked up the phone and greeted Roxas cockily, demanding him to bring some sort of box that apparently contained something important, which Roxas had never heard of before.
Roxas couldn't find it, of course, but he went to meet up with Reno anyway. Cloud was tied down on the ground by Reno's boys, bruised from kicks and assaults. It was then that Roxas had finally learned of all kinds of dirty acts the Shinra Company had been doing behind the scenes. Cloud wanted to leave this side of the company; the backstage, the gang. But he was suspected of treason and they accused him of hiding whatever Reno had wanted the younger blond to bring.
In the end, they compromised. Cloud was allowed to become an ex-SOILDIER on the condition that Roxas would become Reno's boyfriend. It turned out more like he became the redhead's slave. Sex-slave, to really rub it in. So it was only natural that he hated Reno.
And that was what he saw in that guy's eyes: utter loathing. But he didn't dare to voice his opinion on it. He didn't want anything to change. He had to continue doing this, he must; Cloud is the only family he's got.
The faucet was open in this room, too. Shamefully and timidly, Roxas stripped himself of any clothing and snuck into the bathroom, wrapping his arms around Reno's wet torso, sending the latter a surprise.
"Roxas, you scared me."
"Gotcha!" The blond giggled, his arms only tightening.
"What's with the sudden passion?" Reno turned around in the shower stall, the water still raining over him and Roxas, "Hm… You're up to something…"
Fear clenched Roxas' heart. The burning trails of that other redhead stranger's hands relived on his skin.
"What? I was just thinking that it's a perfect chance to be kinky when we're on a business trip!" He squeaked, blushing hot against the cool water.
"As much as I'd love to do that…" Reno whispered, catching Roxas' lips into his, "I have a meeting with the big guys in about thirty minutes, so you'll have to wait until tonight."
They showered for about another ten minutes until Reno finally got out of the shower. Roxas sighed with relief, biting back his bottom lip in shame.
Reno was up for another round of insult when he saw Axel walking down the corridor of the hotel. It was just fun to harass that man who looked like him.
"Looking good, kiss-ass boy." He spat, "Nice outfit. I didn't know Kids 'R' Us carries adult sizes."
No matter how much Axel insisted on not talking back, it was hard to keep him from rolling eyes at the retarded insult. The only thing that changed his attention was the blond boy standing beside Reno. Oh yeah, he hadn't forgotten the sweet taste of that revenge. The boy gazed off sideways nervously, his arms that had previously encircled Reno's released. Smirking, Axel shrugged, much to Reno's surprise, and joined Rufus Shinra in meeting with the president of a partner company.
One insult, Axel decided, would equal one night of revenge.
He didn't wait until the boy came out of the pool completely and pulled him off to the men's bathroom. The blond's back collided with the wall of a shower stall harshly, but Axel didn't cease his fast-moving actions.
The boy whimpered again, pled again for Axel to let him go. And again Axel didn't let him go, but only bit harder down on the boy's collarbone, eliciting a loud moan. Their dangerous proximity gave Axel the adrenaline rush that he wanted; his malicious desire for revenge resurfacing, sending shivers down his own spine. Like a delicious drop of blood on the tip of a knife; tempting yet disgusting all the same time. The younger boy's will to fight back melted by seconds. Axel smirked when their eyes locked again.
"You hate him too, don't you?" His husky voice only severed the haze in the blond's mind.
Yes. A lick, a nip, fingers grazing across skin. Yes, I hate him. Arms snaked around fire red tresses, back arched and neck exposed. Legs looped around hips; silenced screams, aroused moans. It was quick; everything was in motion. One hell of a roller-coaster ride. The end of an orgasm.
The beginning of an inconvenient relationship.
Sounds of glass smashing and yells behind the blinds that blocked the outside from Reno's window have become a normal, everyday fact to the employees. It was obvious that the young man was sexually frustrated. Roxas had been excusing himself from bed for sickness, busyness, lack of time, etc. Reno mashed his hair, groaning. He needed something to exert the pressure on, someone to yell at. He yanked open his door and Axel was the first one in sight.
"YOU!" He howled in front of all other lower-grade employees, pointing randomly on some crumbled people in his hand, "What the hell is this?! Did you even try?! Did you even put your heart into doing this?! Don't give me this kind of shit!!"
Papers were flung into Axel's face. Reno proceeded to storm back into his room, leaving the other redhead standing there, stranded in humiliation. Axel gritted his teeth, fisted his hand and picked up the papers with much indignation. He told himself to calm down, to wait and get through this until Roxas comes and then he can have his revenge.
Roxas did come at lunch. Axel grabbed him from the side of a corridor and shoved him into the janitor's closet. The actions were fast again, speeding down the highway of pleasure, all limits thrown out of the window. With each time, the moans and screams came more unrestrained, more unrepressed; uncontrolled and waiting to be discovered.
Reno needed the lunch break. He grunted and left his room, taking no note that all employees were gone in the matter of seconds, and headed down for the elevator—
Until he heard a familiar voice, making familiar sounds; except he was not the one generating them. It was faint, but noticeable. With much suspicion he treaded down the hall, reaching for the knob hesitantly as if it was some poisonous corrosive chemical.
Roxas was waiting for Axel to undo his buttons when light poured into the room. To his horror he found another head of crimson tresses there.
"Reno!" He choked, his face that of a deer caught in headlights, "It's-"
"It's exactly what it looks like." Axel chuckled, pulling away from the shorter boy. "We've been like this for a while. Oh, you haven't noticed?"
It was his statement. His bold, arrogant, unordinary declaration of death. All the glory and pride in his triumphant face, taking Reno down as a defeated loser.
Reno ground his teeth and closed his eyes in exasperation.
"Get out of here." He opened them back, "Don't ever show up here again; ever."
Axel gave a disdainful chuckle, "Granted."
They brushed shoulders when Axel passed, his ears listening to Roxas' pleas growing fainter. He couldn't care less; Roxas was just a chess piece to him.
"Yo, get a grip and leave a message, ya?" Beep.
"Reno, are you there? Please pick up… C'mon, baby… I can explain all this… I just need a chance. Hellooo?" Roxas' voice was full of guilt but really, it was fear that abducted him. He hadn't heard from Cloud as long as Reno has been ignoring him.
"Reno, won't you even believe me? After all the things we've been through? Can you at least give me a chance to talk to you?"
Clack. "You have five minutes."
"Oh God finally! I've been trying to reach you for ages!"
"What do you want, you filthy whore?"
"Look, this is all just a misunderst-"
"Just a misunderstanding? You mean you are going to tell me that you didn't want him to touch you, molest you and do all that only I could do to you?!"
"Yes!-"
"Then why'd you let it happen? Why would you let him do something you don't want?! Why would you let him feel you like that?! Do you think of him when you're with me?! Are you in love with him?!"
Frankly Roxas couldn't find himself to deny that. His voice was stuck again, like a curse, an omen.
"Look, Reno, you're not listening to me, I'm not done ye-"
"You're not answering my questi-"
"Lemme finis-"
"You're still running awa-" The metal bar was gripped tighter.
"Would you jus-"
"SHUT UP!!" The longhaired redhead lost his control, "…You're such a disgusting liar."
Click. Doo. Doo. Doo. Doo.
"Reno? Reno!" Roxas continued to yell into the speaker. A horrible vortex was whirling in the pit of his stomach, clenching and tensing.
DRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!
"Shit!" A series of insults flew from his lips as Roxas grudgingly pressed at the 'talk' button of the not-so-quietly ringing phone. "Hello?"
"Rox? 's Cloud. Where are you right now?"
"Oh my God where HAVE you been?!"
"Huh? I was interviewing for jobs, remember?"
"Well you don't have to cut off your cell phone!" The blond scolded, "I'm at home right now. Where are you?"
"I'm on my way home, but do you wanna grab some lunch together?"
"Okay. Meet me at Tifa's store."
And gone he went, everything about Reno out of his mind faster than the split of a lightning.
He was going to end this. End it altogether. Happy times are through; triumphs are over. He will do it by his own hands.
The icy steel bar laid frozen next to him as his car sped, the lapses of shadows from the street lamps whipping across the shiny surface, silent and menacing, commanding authority and superiority.
The day was bright, although the sky was not clear. People were among the streets, walking, talking, running, moving. His patience was tested; fingers tapped on the steering wheel anxiously.
There he is. Pale turquoise eyes aimed on their target, grips determined. Doors of 'Tifa's Deli' opened with a whine, casual sandaled feet stepping out. Green eyes squinted under the bright light that snuck through thin, even layers of cloud.
The pleasantly hot day was lively. Roxas had a smile on his lips as he skipped to meet up with his brother. The street dense with people slowed his progress, but he was not hurried at all. When he caught fringes of spiky red hair in front of Tifa's store, his cheeks automatically rose up ten degrees.
He blamed it on the weather. But it didn't matter. What followed had paled his face to dead white.
CRASH! and then a sick THUD! of a body landing. Screams and shrieks of shock. A circular space made by people jumping back simultaneously. Horns honked loud. He exited from his car, metal bar in his right hand. People too traumatized from the shock to react. A blurry white sky. A moaning redhead on the ground. A sadistic lopsided grin, squeezing his left red tattoo closer to the eyes.
Raise of the metal bar.
Its hard descent following.
Crack of a skull.
"Oh my gaawwd!!" "…Oh-oh shit…" "Somebody call the police!!"
Two pairs of widened cerulean eyes. Two pairs of flying feet, one pair strongly-booted, one pair weak and slim.
Another raise of the metal bar, another descent.
Blood.
Muscled arms pulling back his lesser-built ones, other bystanders tackling him down. A familiar voice. "Axel!" Tears and cries. "Axel!" Shaken limp body. "Axel!" Clink! The drop of the metal bar. "Help! Somebody please! Get an ambulance! Please!"
"S-so-some g-guy hit an-another guy with a c-car and k-k-kill him wi-wi-wit-with a-a-a m-…" Disturbed and traumatized sob, unable to continue.
"P-Please! Just send an ambulance! I-It's right at the c-corner, right at Tifa's Deli…"
Distant sounds of a siren. Fading breathing…
What he couldn't have done, he did.
Unpunctuated beep of a flatline echoed throughout the busy hospital room. Lights were on and tools were ready.
"200. Clear." "Clear."
Pluck.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…
"We got nothing."
"360. Clear." "Clear."
Pluck.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…
"Nope."
"Again. Clear." "Clear."
Pluck.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…
"Doctor, he's not coming back."
"…" The man's eyebrows knitted together, "We're gonna go for 400."
"But-"
"Come on! 400, clear!" "Clear."
Pluck.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…
The doctor's hands slumped; he looked at his colleagues. They replied with questioning, sorrowful and uncertain eyes.
"I'm calling it."
"The world of Gaia, District Court of Midgar. Case code 08-13-1851415. The people vs. Reno Shinra. The Defendant, do you understand the charges you're being charged with?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"How do you plead?"
Lips spoke into the microphone.
"I plead guilty to all charges, Your Honor."
"Do you understand that with this plea agreement, you are waiving away any rights to appeal any sentence that may be imposed on you? And that this plea does not lessen any possible sentence?"
"I do."
"Have you gone through all facts with an attorney, and find his representation
satisfying, with enough time for you to confer with him? Are you pleading under oath without any threat, or other situations that might deem your plea unsustainable?"
"Yes sir, very much so sir."
The judge looked at the man with an impalpable expression, "The District Court of Midgar finds the Defendant's plea voluntary with enough basis to support the plea, and finds the Defendant guilty of count one, first degree murder and of count two, voluntary manslaughter. The Defendant will be subjected to life imprisonment, knowing full well that his plea had waived away all rights to an appeal, and the sentence is put into immediate effect." The gavel was pounded. "The Court is adjourned."
"All rise!"
The old train station still had the outdated panels of flickering flaps to inform train ride times. Azure blue eyes stared intently on them, watching every delicate board movement.
"Roxas, Roxas," Cloud shook his brother's shoulder, "Here, grab your ticket."
The boy looked away from the times and took the small paper from the taller blond. A smile spread across his features as he looked at the destination: Hollow Bastion. He had never been there; but he was already excited about moving to there. Cloud had lived there before and told him tales of all those kind people. He couldn't wait to start a new life.
The train arrived slowly and peacefully. Cloud grasped their suitcases, "C'mon, let's go."
With a happy nod, he boarded the train willingly.
To Reno, he was a pet. To Axel, he was a chess piece. And now, with Cloud, he could finally be himself.
The End.
A/N: So that was it! It was intense writing this and I hope it was the same for you guys reading it. For those of you who hasn't catch on with what happened, here's a more understandable earth-spoken-language version: So Axel and Cloud were both at Tifa's Deli (but they didn't know each other so they couldn't have known) where Axel was just having lunch randomly and Cloud was waiting for Roxas. Meanwhile Reno was driving into the city looking for Axel with the intention to kill him. At this point Roxas was walking to Tifa's Deli by foot. Axel then finishes his lunch and steps outside, where he was spotted by Reno (who was waiting for a red light) and Roxas. Roxas blushed because he (actually really) liked Axel (in the very bottom of his heart). But then Reno crashes into Axel, sending him a few feet back which probably sported a few broken ribs and massive internal bleeding, and assaulted him on the head with his metal bar. Roxas and Cloud were both shocked, like all the other pedestrians. Reno attacked Axel for the second time and Cloud ran out of the shop to stop him whereas Roxas ran to call Axel and try to get a response. Some bystanders called the police and an ambulance came; but the doctors couldn't save Axel and it was shown later that Reno was tried for murder and found guilty.
That should explain it :) Please leave a review/comment so I can improve!