I was peeking out behind the velvet curtain at the dance floor. The women's colorful dresses twirled around them and it reminded me of the dance I had had with Dmitri. I remembered my hand in his… his hand on my waist… his eyes on my face, and just like then I felt my face blush. The way he looked at me, it was like magic how he could make me blush and my heart to skip a beat at the same time. Had it been a mistake not to tell Dmitri how I felt about him? Maybe he felt the same way… no, that's ridiculous! And even if he did, what would that change? He had his money and would be taking the train back to Russia, and that was the end of our story together. I was alone.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I started and turned around. My grandmother had just arrived and joined me behind the curtain.
"Yes. Yes, it is" I said and forced myself to smile, even though I was not happy. I felt my grandmother's eyes on me, but I didn't look away from the dancers. I was afraid her eyes would reveal the sorrow I felt inside.
"Did you ever learn how to dance?" she asked and I felt I sting of pain as I was once again reminded of when I had learned to waltz. I nodded but didn't say anything, I just watched the colors whirl past my eyes.
"What is on your mind, my child?" grandmother asked fondly. I didn't answer; I didn't know what to answer. What was on my mind? Dmitri. He was on my mind, as he had been so often lately. After a moment of silence she sighed and put a hand on my shoulder.
"It's the boy, isn't it? The boy you came with?" The way she referred to Dmitri as "a boy" almost made me laugh. I couldn't imagine anyone less manly than him, but I didn't say that.
"How did you know?" I asked and finally looked at my grandmother. She was smiling a very un-characteristic smile; it was almost a smirk.
"Oh, there is nothing so hard to disguise as love, especially from someone as old as me." I snorted quietly.
"I think I've been doing a pretty good job hiding it from him so far. He hasn't noticed a thing," I said although it pained me to do so. She chuckled and shook her head.
"From him, maybe. But then again, he did a good job hiding it from you too." I stared at her, half aware that my mouth was hanging open. My grandmother seemed to think my surprise was funny for she chuckled again and closed my mouth with a finger under my chin. Could this be real? Dmitri loved me? But then reason caught up with my temporarily blissful bubble and my face fell.
"If he loved me he wouldn't have taken the money and gone back to Russia," I said quietly and stared at my new shoes. Grandmother lifted my chin gently and smiled at me.
"He didn't take the money," she said softly. What?
"He didn't? Why?" I asked perplexed.
"He said he didn't want them. He said that your happiness was the only reward he needed." Before my brain had a chance to rationalize it, my heart melted and my bubble slowly started rebuilding.
"He really said that?" I asked and she nodded with a smile. I looked out at the floor again and thought hard. What did this mean? What was I supposed to do now? I glanced up at the big clock on the wall opposite me. Seven minutes to eight. And then I knew what I had to do, and I had seven minutes to do it.
"I… I have to go," I said and without a word my grandmother nodded and gave my shoulder a quick squeeze. Then she walked out on the dance floor and I started running. I run out form the palace and through the gates out on the street. I stopped for a second to orient myself. What way was the train station? As I looked around for something to guide me I saw a sign on the other side of the street. Train station: right. I silently thanked whoever had out up that sign and started running again. As I sprinted down a hill my feet were killing me and without a thought I kicked them off and quickened my pace. The streets were empty and quiet; the only thing I heard was my own breathing and my heart pounding in my ears. After what felt like an eternity I finally saw the station and the last few meters I ran even faster. I skidded to a stop outside the information booth and the man sitting inside stared at me in surprise. I didn't blame him; how often did you see girls running around on train stations in ball gowns?
"Hello," I said, trying to catch my breath "where is the train to Berlin leaving from?" I asked the man and slowly started to breath normally.
"I'm sorry," the man said, "but that train just left." I blinked and looked up at the clock on the wall behind the man. Two minutes past eight. His train had left. He was gone. The man in the booth gave me a sympathetic look and glanced at the train-schedule.
"The next train doesn't leave until tomorrow, I'm afraid." I nodded, not even listening to what he was saying. I had been to late… I would never see Dmitri again. I slowly walked over to the nearest bench and as I sat down I was overcome by tears. I leaned my head in my hands and sobbed quietly. He is gone… he is gone… he is gone!
"Anya? Is that you?" I froze. I knew that voice all too well. Was this my mind playing some cruel trick on me? Because it couldn't be… couldn't possibly be… I slowly looked up from my hands and ten meters from me with a suitcase in his hand was Dmitri. He looked as surprised as I felt.
"You're not on the train." I said stupidly.
"No… I'm not," he said stupidly. Dmitri started walking toward me and I quickly tried to wipe my face clean of tears. When he was standing right in front of me, Dmitri dropped his bag to the ground and kneeled down so we were almost at the same level. I sniffed and couldn't think of anything to say.
"Why?" was the only thing I could think of. "You missed the train?" He shook his head.
"I was going to go on the train, but… I couldn't," he said slowly.
"Why?" Was that the only thing I could say? Dmitri seemed to have noticed my lack of vocabulary too for he was smiling slightly. He sighed.
"I didn't want to leave…" he said but he didn't seem to be able to finish the sentence.
"Paris?" I asked to be helpful but he shook his head.
"You." At this I couldn't even say "why", I was completely speechless. My silence appeared to unnerve Dmitri for his expression turned nervous.
"Why are you here?" he asked and at once my voice was back.
"I didn't want you to leave…" I said quietly, "… me". Dmitri's eyes widened.
"Really?" I couldn't help but giggle at his surprise. I really must have been good a hiding my feeling from him. I nodded and whispered softly:
"Yes." Dmitri reached up a hand and wiped away a tear that had escaped my eyes and lingered with his hand against my cheek.
"Anya?" he said.
"Yes?"
"I love you." Once again my heart skipped a beat, but this time I thought it wasn't going to start beating again. I smiled wide.
"I love you too, Dmitri," I answered and a smile spread across his face too. He leaned in slowly and carefully kissed me. I blissfully responded to the kiss and through my arms around his neck. He let the hand he was already resting against my cheek go up in my hair as we kissed. After several minutes he broke the kiss and leaned his for-head against mine and I found myself being out of breath again. Suddenly he chuckled and lifted his head to look at me. For a moment he only gazed into my eyes, filling me with love, and then he leaned in close. His breath caressed my ear.
"Anya, why aren't you wearing any shoes?" he whispered with a laugh. The question caught me off guard and at first I couldn't think of what to say. Then I laughed.
"You don't know how hard it is to run in high-heeled shoes," I said defiantly. Dmitri raised an eyebrow at me, but his mouth was twitching from restrained laughter.
"What? You don't think I could run in high-heeled shoes?" he asked disbelievingly and I smirked at him.
"I know you couldn't" I said and winked playfully at him. He laughed and took my hand and pulled my up from the bench.
"Let's go get your shoes" he said and wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked away from the station.