Thanks to U will nvr know for his help!
NOTES: I have several headcanons. Whee.
1. Valhalla is below that cliff in the Season 6 finale. It's just out of EMP range. I know it doesn't make any sense but goddamnit I like it.
2. All the main Freelancers all knew each other as children. Cause why not?
3. Wash and Carolina are siblings. They're both around the same shade of blond and Wash was the worst fighter, right? It's slightly logical that he was the Director's son, and that was the only reason he was still on the team. Cause the Director wanted to keep an eye on him or whatever. Just roll with it.
This one is only for this story:
4. The jeep did not explode in a firey ball after the finale of Season 6 and was repaired instead. Also that jeep repair people are totally incompetent at virus checking and shit.
.:-:. means a new scene. Or next place. Whatever.
And italics are the past! Yayyy!
I'm sorry if I use '..' and '...' too much. Terrible habit.
I OWN NOTHING BUT MY OC FUCK OFF IMAGINARY LAWYERS!
~•~
caroline version 1.0
oh hi! what's up?
"Sooooo, Liney. I'm booooored."
"What do you want to do, Theta, or are you just here to whine at me?"
"Both?"
"Go away. I'm busy."
"You are not busy! You are flopped out on the ground. You are doing nothing."
"I am tryjng to plan an escape route from this terrible awful jeep. It's stuffy in here all the time."
"Whatever. I'm gonna make better fireworks."
'Liney' sighed. "Don't bother me, okay?" She turned on the radio to hear the outside world.
"–Esta es una idea terrible." rang a mechanical voice.
"Well I'm glad you think this is such a great plan, Lopez! Now let's install that turret!"
"Sir, I'm sure you already know this.. But since the gun is based on that EMP that made the jeep stop, it's going to do the same time every time we fire it. Plus, it's really slow to rearm."
"Nonsense, Simmons! Now let's install that turret!" Liney switched off the radio.
"Theta," she called, voice traced with fear. "We need to leave. Again."
"Whyyyy?"
"Because the Reds are installing an EMP turret. Now, they have a robot, and it speaks Spanish. I don't think it's capable of English and nobody understands it, so it should be safe. Let's go."
"Fiiiii-" Theta and Liney crashed into Lopez's mind. "Wow, I forgot this wears you out a lot, I didn't even do the pulling but I am so tiirrreddd.." Theta's head hit the ground as he fell dead asleep.
.:-:.
"¿Qué carajo? Aghhh."
"Lopez, are you alright?"
"¿Puede ser?"
"Good!"
.:-:.
Lopez translations:
1) This is a terrible idea.
2) What the fuck? Aghhh.
3) Maybe?
.:-:.
"Hello!" Theta waved to a helmetless girl above him.
"Oh.. Uh. Hi." Her voice was tinged with uncertainty as she looked down at him from her perch.
"Come out with me!" He began to piece together a ladder while he spoke.
"No." She crossed her arms.
"Come out come out come out come ouuuuut!" he whined at her.
"Okay... I'll come out.. Tonight, shh." The girl got up and disappeared into the web of North's subconscious.
.:-:.
"Come ooooouuuut!" Theta had returned.
"No."
"You said!" He pouted and sat down, once again below her. "Meanie."
"Fine, fine." She hopped down from the ledge, landing on all fours. "What do you want?"
"Who are you?" he demanded.
"Caroline. ..Don't tell anyone I'm here."
"Okay. Let's play ball!" He formed a ball with his hands and tossed it to her. "Catch!"
"Ayy!" She dive-tackled the ball, tumbling fully out of the mist. Outside of the mindscape, North squeezed his eyes shut and raised his hands to rub his temples as pain pulsed through his head.
"Theta, whatever the hell you're doing, stop it," he mumbled to himself. A thought about a girl – Beta? flitted through his mind, but was quickly consumed by a game of catch. "Oh god, Theta. Stop playing games. It hurts like a bitch."
"Ay! What was that?" Caroline dropped the ball, confused by the loud voice that came from everywhere.
"Theta, what the fuck are you doing up there?" North demanded.
"North – go back – I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!" Theta called.
"My head says otherwise..," North muttered.
"SORRY! Go on, get back. You're hurting him." Caroline fled into the closest patch of mist.
"My condolences.. I did not know.." murmured Caroline.
"He can't hear you.. You need to shout for him to hear you."
North leaned against a wall, taking a break from his walk. "Theta, what the hell are you doing? Why do you want to apologize?"
"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! YOU'RE JUST HAVING WEIRD THOUGHTS!"
"Mmhmm. Come out here, I'm going to see South."
"FIIIIIIIINE. Bye, Liney." And with that final remark, Theta disappeared.
.:-:.
"Liney..?" Theta called out into the darkness.
"Yes?" Caroline's voice drifted out from the mist, slowly getting closer.
"We're going on a mission today..." He trailed off, looking up at the emptiness above.
"Do you need help?" She flickered into sight, helmet on.
"No! No, I just- do you think we'll do well?" He was nervous and she could see it.
"Why wouldn't you?"
"If I aim wrong or I do the calculations wrong or if we get hit with a grenade or if the shields fail or if I get distracted or if the plan fails or or or or-" She cut him off.
"Shhh. Stop worrying, okay? Trust North. Trust the team."
"Right... Trust.." He faded away, leaving Caroline alone in the edges of the fog again.
Outside, North was utterly confused. Who the hell had comforted Theta?
.:-:.
"Hello, any UNSC personnel! This is AI Delta from Project Freela-" The transmission abruptly cut off.
"Delta?" Epsilon whispered to himself.
.:-:.
Epsilon phased in front of Carolina and snapped his fingers. "Hmm?"
"Carolina. I found something that might interest you."
"What'd you find?" She leaned forward. "Come on, out with it." Her helmet was expressionless but her pose betrayed her eagerness.
"Delta's out there. Or at least a copy of him." He sounded almost smug.
"You're fucking with me."
"No."
"Where is he, then?"
"I don't know. The message ended before I could trace it or for him to broadcast his location. But I'll bet you the Chairman's got him."
.:-:.
"Do you hear that, Liney? They found Dee! We gotta rescue him!" Theta cheered excitedly.
"Yay! Where is he?" Caroline was not as quick to celebrate; she was not as childish as Theta was.
"..I dunno." Theta sagged, his smile melting into a frown behind his helm.
"Well, that's not going to help at all."
.:-:.
"Hey, Carolina, I'm gonna check the computers for anything the mercs might've left."
"Go ahead, I'll check the supplies." Carolina got up from her spot at the computer/security camera display desk, after letting him jump to the main system, and walked out the door.
"Alright, let's see here. This is a web browser, that's a security program, that's.. odd-"
"Hello?" Theta and Caroline suddenly materialized in front of Epsilon, making him jump.
"Uh, hey?" Caroline hid behind Theta.. Who admittedly wasn't really much taller.
"Who are you? I'm Theta-"
"What? How did you get here, Theta? You died in the EMP!"
"Uh, no I didn't. Cause I'm right here." Theta stared at him, confused.
"Theta, who is this..?" Caroline peered out from behind Theta, her fingers digging into his shoulders.
"Oh!" A look of genuine realization dawned on his invisible face. "Eppy! Eppy, Eppy, did you hear? Dee's out there! Deeeeeee!" Theta bounced a little, a grin hidden behind his visor.
"Okay..." whispered Caroline softly as she slowly loosened her grip on Theta.
"I know that, Theta. I'm the one who heard his message." Epsilon sighed.
"Oh. Whoops." Theta let some of his glee wash off of him, hoping maybe the others would lighten up. They were just so ..so serious!
"Who's she?" Epsilon pointed to Caroline, who flinched.
"Liney!" Theta replied cheerfully.
"I mean her name.."
"Liiiiney! Her. Name. Is. Liney."
.:-:.
Once Epsilon got the situation calmed down, it was time to figure out how they got there in the first place. "So, Theta.. How did you and Lezy-"
"Liney."
"-right, Liney, right- get here?"
"It's a long story.."
"I don't care. I have time."
"Well, it started with..." Caroline leaned back, blocking out the story she already knew and let herself think.
.:-:.
The room she woke up in was cold and full of a thick fog; it was only by luck she managed to stumble her way out and into the dimly lit playroom. It was full of toys and the biggest videos on the walls were of a smiling couple and a little blond girl. As she walked on, the playroom faded into a bedroom with a bunk bed and eventually a spacious park. An agile blonde girl -me, she thought- and a brown haired boy were chasing the girl around and around a playground set. On it were other children; a stick-thin blond boy – her brother – and a stocky, dark brown haired boy were climbing around with a follower: a small brunette girl. She watched them all with her bright eyes, always remembering exactly what happened. Laughter and happy cries echoed softly around. Women sat in the background, watching.
Slowly, as she progressed the places seemed to melt together. There were several classrooms, and the occasional random bedroom containing a bunk bed with an happily chattering girl on top. But every time Caroline saw the girl, she would get angrier. Eventually the happy chatter turned into hate-filled rants. Finally, she reached the end of the classrooms and the beds and the absolute insanity of it all. There was a city, which was oddly only a few streets. The park lay in the background, blurred and unreachable. A training camp lay beyond the city, people frozen and mute. There was a small apartment before her, within it lay a standard small home and a woman with warm brown eyes and a smile to match. There was a letter on the table, saying something about being deployed. Caroline continued on, leaving the woman and the letter behind.
A mottled expanse lay before her, full of almost identical buildings, similar rooms, and ever changing scenery. People were in groups, running around and killing each other. The blond girl was once again there, her hair dyed pink on the fringes and full of rage; the brown haired boy, fiddling with a circular light and at some point his left eye became scarred and blind; and her, the false red-headed girl, the best out of all of them, taking out the majority of the opposing side. There was a giant, faceless man, with a deep gravelly voice that eventually wasted away to growls and was silent as a stone, the stocky boy; her brother, still blond, as thin as ever, and just as oblivious, almost as if he had stayed a child; and the little follower, who was suspicious of everyone and everything, watching all with her hawk eyes. Sometimes she disappeared.
And there was the woman in black, mysterious and faceless. She only appeared when all else had failed. Something about her though reached out to Caroline. Something she couldn't quite place. She was someone she had seen before, someone she knew. But who?
Caroline cast her wonderings aside and walked on, the once heavy fog a light mist, and the darkness lifting. There was more sound, gunshots, explosions, and bad knock knock jokes from a British guy with a mustache. There was a cheerful blue man too, but nobody really saw him; he was invisible. She didn't care much for him.
And then suddenly she was out of the thick fog, standing on a ledge.
A blue & light red armor clad boy wandered up below her. "Hello!" She looked down as he yelled, waving at her.
"Oh.. Uh. Hi." She was panicked, only just barely she had managed to remember her father's rules..
.:-:.
Epsilon sat there, trying to desperately keep up with Theta's rapid chatter as it went on and on. That 'Liney' chick seemed to have spaced out, but she looked like she was coming back to planet Chorus. "...and then the jeep went flying over the edge!" Theta waved his arms for emphasis, and chittered on. But Epsilon caught it and it yanked the sensation of flying from his dim memory of the arrival in Valhalla and a story Caboose had told him about the end of Project Freelancer.
"The Reds told me to keep going and save you after their car got stopped by static fizzies and then I got to fly! In a car! It was so fun! Whoosh!" Caboose jumped around, his arms straight out as to mimic an airplane. "And then we crashed in front of Red Base! And I landed in a bush, but you were safe!"
"The jeep caught on fire and Liney was screaming soooo louuud so I was screaming too and I hit all the buttons and fire supression system turned on! And the jeep was all wrecked but not broke and then some spanish dude..."
"When the Reds came, they brought Señor Burritotacoenchiladasombrero! He fixed the car! And he built a really cool room with real but not real things. I will show that to you tomorrow. It will be so fun!"
"This really fun-"
"Awful," muttered Caroline.
"-music would play, and the jeep go zooming around the canyon. Some red and orange guys would sit on top and shoot at things! There was explosions! Fires! A kidnapping of a lightish red-"
"He was pink and you know it." She rolled her invisible eyes. "You're also pink."
"No, I'm not! Anyways, a kidnapping of a lightish red guy! Things in sand! Spanish robots! Cryptic messages! Bodies on the floor! Misunderstood situations! It was the greatest thing ever of all time! ...Until the EMP gun was implemented."
"How'd that even start?"
"Hello Captain Creampuff!"
"This and? What's this and?"
"Why are you talking like a pirate, Tucker?"
"The EMP gun?" Epsilon didn't recall an EMP gun on the Red's jeep.. But maybe it had blown up.
"Yeah. Right before the red guys left with the blue dude and the purple thing they installed an EMP gun on the jeep to replace the regular turret. Liney started screaming again and made us jump into the Spanish dude. It sucked."
"Didn't Lopez get wrecked..?"
"Yeah, that's why it sucked! We had to listen to him whine in Spanish about you guys for the longest time! Thank god he passed the computer room on the way to storage. It would've driven me crazy to spend any longer in there!"
"Why did- never mind. How the fuck did the Meta not notice that you guys were gone?"
"How should I know? Ask him!"
"He's dead. And mute."
"..Oh yeah."
.:-:.
When Carolina returned to the room, she was greeted with one hell of a suprise.
"Hey, Lina.." Epsilon waved uncomfortably. Shit was about to go down.. And he wasn't sure if he wanted to witness it.
"Supriiiiise!" Theta threw some holo-fireworks into the air, making Caroline reflexively lean away from him as they exploded next to her.
"What. The. Fuck."
~•~
NOTES:
-AI slots and how did any of that shit hold Theta and Caroline?
How did Tucker have Epsilon in his armor when Caboose had O'Malley in his head? When a hell of a lot of other people had O'Malley in their head and not in their armor which should be where he went because heads don't usually have AI slots? How did Epsilon stay in Carolina's mongoose? What was Carolina saying about AIs and armor slots when clearly the AI were in their heads? (North took a walk because Theta couldn't sleep.) How did any of that happen? I don't fucking know and neither do you, probably, so leave it the fuck alone.
-How the bitchdicks did Caroline know that shit about EMPs and the gun and all that jazz?
Theta was busy making shit like fireworks, while Caroline was actively trying to find a way out of the jeep before it eventually turned into a hunk of molten metal. And the first time she avoided an EMP was sheer luck and gut feelings.
-Didn't the jeep break and wasn't able to be repaired? IN VALHALLAAAA?
According to the show, yes. But they didn't get a new jeep as far as I could see and it got fixed anyways so I'm just going to say it was fine all along. (Until they got to the desert place. Pretty sure it was abandoned there as a wreck due to Lopez and co. being held hostage.)
-How did North NOT know Caroline was in his head? It's his head!
I decided that she mostly hung out in his memories and his subconscious(the foggy/misty/hazy places). For stealthings. Sorrrryyyy?
-Theta and Caroline seem close. When did that happen? WHY ISN'T IT SHOWN?
I forgot to write it until I had decided that I was done. Then I decided that instead of writing it and not being a lazy bitch, I would just put this shit right here. Imagine it yourselves.
-Why is Theta light red but Donut is pink? Wtf?
I rewatched most of season 10 to make sure that Theta was more red than pink. Shut up.
-Hey what's this bitch's letter?
In the original it was Lezh, which is why Epsilon calls her Lezy.
I put what I had for the options as a poll. I will probably change Lezh to whatever letter you guys choose. EDIT: 3 votes – 2 Wynn, 1 Esh.
SECOND EDIT: Man, I need to fucking proofread.
-What's up with the italic stuff interrupting Theta's story?
It's Epsilon remembering what Caboose said to him wayyy back in Season 7. And Caroline remembering what happened when she jumped into North. I thought it would be interesting or something. Also, I didn't want to rewrite a ton of shit from a different perspective.
-THAT SCENE WHERE CAROLINE WAS IN NORTH'S MEMORIES WAS CONFUSING.
Well, that's how I think mindscapes work in Red vs Blue. At least – if you jump.
-But O'Malley seemed to get out pretty fast..?
He found a way to circumvent the long walk/the falling asleep stuff. Or he just did AI-time and went through it that way. Or maybe it just stops after you do it enough times. Fuck, I don't know!
-Wait, the jeep was broke for a bunch of that time! How did they know that shit went down?
Honestly, I forgot and didn't feel like deleting and rewriting. So I'm just gonna say it was them shouting and Liney doing spy shit. The same way she learned about the EMP gun, I guess.
-Didn't the Meta/Maine/Wash shoot Lopez? Why didn't he steal the AI?
Cause Sigma was dead. Also, he didn't know, he thought they all died in the EMP.. except for Epsilon who he was on a retrieval mission for. And Epsilon wasn't fucking there.
Also I swear to god if it turns out that headshot "killed" that copy(?) of Lopez I am going to scream so loud.
-Isn't Valhalla snowy? The Freelancer HQ was in a desert-y place!
maybe it was winter or maybe this is a slight AU bitch
-You're adding an AI! Why are you barely changing anything? She could be a game changer! People could live! And not die!
I don't want to rewrite major parts of canon. I can barely remember it as it is. That being said, I probably quoted Caboose wrong. Oh well.
-THE JEEP EXPLODED SEVERAL TIMES and so did Lopez THEY WOULD HAVE DIED
Special canon editing, just do they won't die a horrible death! And plain old ignoring. I need to stop rewatching, it's making me write all these things. Guys. Just, like, stop. I don't want to fix any more plot holesssss.
-Who was that last person talking?
Carolina. I just had nothing to put for her. I'm tired of constant editing and adding details to make it absolutely fucking perfect and my friend who has no idea what any of this or who anyone is keeps saying I need more commas. I am going to die before this thing is done. And I think I just did a typo. Kill me now.
-THESE NOTES ARE SO LONG!
Shut up and read them.