Las Vegas was hot, there was no denying it, Julie thought as she was forced to vacate the cool comfort of her police SUV to step back outside into the furnace like conditions surrounding her. It was moments like this when she ached for Seattle; cool, beautiful Seattle. There was water everywhere, bright green trees, a gentle breeze was always present. But here, in Vegas, it was stifling, sand swirling around her, making her eyes itch, wreaking havoc on her skin and hair. It was this heat that made her job that much more difficult. She was approaching the poorly kept, run down house on the less than ideal part of town with an officer and a social worker. They had been called to this house before to deal with a domestic dispute involving a young boy and his mother. Upon inspecting the home, the officers discovered the filthy conditions the child was living in so after a month of social services investigation, they determined that the little boy should be placed with a foster family until his mother could clean up her life and her home and make it fit for the both of them to live there.
As Julie and the officer approached the house, the little boy was playing outside in the front yard with a makeshift fort he had constructed out of the remnants of a plastic toy house and some old tarps. When he spotted the officers, he screamed for his mother who burst out the front door, knowing exactly why the officer and social worker were there. She reached for her son, but the officer held her back as Julie and the social worker approached the little boy.
"Hi there," the social worker tried to be calm and gentle "don't worry, you are not in any trouble, and your mom is going to be fine, we just need you to come hang out with us for a little bit while we talk to her okay?"
The boy hesitated, watching his mother burst into tears in front of the officer, but wanting to trust the nice ladies in front of him.
"Can I bring my toys?" he asked, the only thing children really worried about.
"Sure," Julie said encouragingly "can I help you pack them?"
The little boy nodded then pulled Julie by the wrist towards the house. She helped him pack some of his toys and clothes just in case his stay at the station was longer than expected and guided him back out to the front yard where the boy's mother was still protesting. The social worker quickly maneuvered the little boy into the car while his mother screamed, begging them not to take him. Julie hated this, her stomach ached at the scene in front of her. But as they drove away with the child, the court order and paper work allowing them to, she knew the boy would be safe until his mother got cleaned up and sober enough to care for him. As a show of good faith and to make the situation seem less scary, Julie turned to the little boy seated in the back seat of the SUV and said, "What's your name sweetie?"
The little boy met her gaze with dark brown eyes and said happily "Eli"
Nicks shift was almost over and all he could think about was going home. He had plans with Julie this weekend. They were going to take Sam to the park to play and get him used to being around people again, then spend time at home watching movies and relaxing. His time with Julie was precious, seeing as they both could be called in to work at any moment and would have to scramble to get ready and make sure to arrive at their scenes separately so as not to draw suspicion to the fact that they were secretly dating. He was daydreaming about being at home with her as he walked through the lobby of the station intent on seeking out Russell to see if any other cases needed wrapping up when a familiar face caught his attention.
"Eli?" Nick called out to the child seated in the chairs meant for visitors.
"Hi Uncle Nicky," Eli said recognizing the man who had often visited him and his mother at various times over the years. He knew his mother did not always like when Nick visited but Eli loved it because he knew he had been friends with his father a long time ago before he died.
"What are you doing here all by yourself buddy?" Nick asked, kneeling in front of Eli.
"That lady says I have to stay here," Eli said, pointing over to the main desk of PD where Nick recognized a social worker he had worked with on previous cases.
Nick realized what was happening. Eli was being separated from Tina. Nick knew Tina had struggled with work and a drug habit, but she never left Eli in any danger. Granted their home was not in ideal shape now, but Nick had tried to reach out to Tina, offering to watch Eli so she could work or fix up the dilapidated house. But Tina refused Nick's help and Sara's as well when she tried. This was still no reason to take the boy from his mother and only family in Vegas. Riled up, Nick told Eli to stay put while he talked to the social worker.
"Ma'am," he said when he reached her "are you in charge of Eli Browns case?"
"I can't discuss that right now Mr. Stokes," she immediately got defensive.
"Come on, he's just a kid," Nick pleaded with her "Tina is a good mom, she just needs some help, I've tried, and so has CSI Sidle, you remember."
"I know," the social worker said sadly "but the house is not safe for Eli, I don't like taking him either, but it's only temporary, I want him to be home just as much as you do."
"Who authorized this?" Nick demanded to know.
The social worker hesitated but finally showed him the judge's signature and paper work. Nick's eyes scanned the sheet looking for the first investigative report that led to the decision to take Eli. He felt his heart sink when he read the investigators name at the bottom who had first suggested the move; Julie Finlay.
Fuming, Nick stormed off, promising Eli he would be back soon and giving him some coloring books and snacks to have while he waited in addition to the toys he brought from home. He stormed right to the lab, searching each area for her, finally locating her in the locker room.
"What were you thinking?" he demanded.
Julie jumped, startled by the tone of his voice, shocked to see him glaring at her with an intense look.
"What's wrong?" she asked, confused.
"Eli Brown that's what's wrong," Nick reminded her "why did you rip that kid from his mother?"
"It's my case," she explained, adjusting her hair in the mirror on her locker door, "how did you find out about it?"
"I saw him in the lobby at P.D," Nick said, "that social worker told me everything and you let them do it, how could you?"
"He will be safer with foster care until his mom can get her act together," Julie explained, digging around for her purse and car keys now "the house was a mess, I saw it, and his mom doesn't seem to care, come on Nick, you would have done the same thing."
"Why didn't you talk to me about it first?" Nick asked.
"It's not your case or your business," Julie said as if it were obvious.
"It is my business," Nick snapped "Eli is Warrick's son!"
The silence that followed that revelation was eerie. Julie felt her breath catch in her chest, but she was unable to convey any words to him. Warrick had a son? That was the only thought going through her mind until she realized another offence, why didn't anyone tell her?
"Look," she began, her throat dry from not speaking "I didn't know who he was- I just got assigned the case, the social worker did all the talking and I-
"Stood there like an idiot and did nothing," Nick finished hotly.
"Hey this is not my fault," she snapped, resenting him for calling her stupid "if you're mad, take it up with social services, not me!"
She slammed her locker shut in anger. She had to end her retort there because her eyes had begun to fill with tears at his harshness and anger. She marched away, nudging him with her shoulder, a normally playful gesture they shared but this shove was full of anger and resentment. He had no right to yell at her like this and worst still, after he promised her, he was different, he wasn't like those other guys. Their seemingly ideal life had been cut and was bleeding out heavily in this moment.
She stormed off all the way to her car, cursing the hot sun and its endless hold on this stupid city. Marching off in anger was a specialty of hers, two ex-husbands could attest to that, nevertheless it still pained her to do that. Sitting in her car with the air conditioning blasting cool air on her, she tried to catch her breath and calm down. In her mind, she knew the reasons for Nick being upset. Warrick was his best friend and no longer here. But she thought they had talked about him plenty of times since beginning their relationship last spring.
They had helped each other recover physically and emotionally from the attack McKeen inflicted on her and Nick's drunken fight with the officers. She thought back to those nights together, hiding away from the world, huddled under the covers in bed, counting what remained of each other's bruises, offering kisses to particularly stubborn painful ones. He told her everything one morning over breakfast when she accidentally borrowed a shirt that used to belong to Warrick that was hung up in Nick's closet as a memento. He sat her down on the couch and detailed the night he lost his friend. She was horrified by everything; the case, the under sheriff framing him, then brutally murdering him, the team's trauma afterwards. She listened, offered her sympathies and insisted he could come to her and talk about it whenever he wanted to. Not once in their time together did, he mentions Eli. Or even Tina for that matter. And why didn't Tina ask for Nick when they made social service calls to her house? Was there tension between them? Perhaps that was why Nick was so angry. It did not do her any good to dwell on possible theories without at least trying to confirm them.
Unfortunately, it was going to have to wait. The social worker who oversaw Eli was calling her on her cell phone. Julie reluctantly answered it, her heart dropping into her stomach when the social worker cried frantically "Eli's gone"
Julie shot out of her car and raced back into the station, meeting the social worker in the lobby.
"What happened?" Julie demanded.
"I was filling out the paper work for Eli's foster care when CSI Stokes found me and started asking about the case," she explained "I couldn't divulge anything but he saw you were attached to the case and stormed off, Eli saw him leave and I think he tried to follow him but got lost, we're looking at security cameras now but-
She stopped talking because there was nothing more, she could tell Julie about the child who escaped her watch. Eli was a sensitive kid with a rough childhood thus far so she was not surprised he would try to run away.
"Maybe Nick knows where he would go." Julie suggested, snatching up the case file and frantically searching through the paperwork for any clue as to where Eli would run off to. She didn't want to address the obvious; did Nick take Eli back to his mother against the advice of social services? As much as she hated to meddle in this any further, she had to find out.
The social worker drove back to Tina's neighborhood while Julie called Nick's cell phone repeatedly. She worried that he was ignoring her because of what she did rather than answer in an emergency. Unless he had Eli and was refusing to answer because he knew he was in trouble. Eli's house looked calm and undisturbed. They knocked on the door, but no one answered. Julie realized Tina was likely still with a counselor or a lawyer working out a solution to get better and get Eli back. Julie scanned the run-down houses down the block and the surrounding area. How could Tina let her son live in such a run-down place? Warrick's CSI salary should have been enough to provide some sort of basic middle-class lifestyle, not shady drug den style. What had happened in the five years since he died? Julie would have to ask Nick when they were on speaking terms again, if that ever happened. As Julie continued to stare at the structures off in the distance, the cemetery was visible just a few blocks down. The realization hit her like a brick.
"I know where he is!" she yelled.
Nick finally managed to calm down long enough to leave the locker room, but he had no intentions of following Julie. She had broken his trust with this offense, and he needed to stay away from her. The only person he could think about right now was Eli and getting him home to his mother. Nick returned to the station only to find the lobby chair empty and all of Eli's toys and books left behind.
"Where's Eli Brown?" Nick asked the officer closest to him.
"The kid from that social work case?" the officer said, "he ran off, something spooked him, and he took off when no one was watching."
Nick felt anger bubble up again as well as panic. How could no one be watching an eight-year-old kid? This was all Julie's fault, he knew without a doubt this time.
"Where's Finn?" he snarled.
"Out looking for him I guess," the officer said so nonchalantly it made Nick even more angry, but he knew, cases like this were frequent and minors were often times run-away's, but this case was different, this was Warrick's son, the kid deserved the world and was now being shuffled around like some material good. It was in that moment that he thought to call Julie only to discover a dozen missed calls from her on his phone. He cursed his own stubbornness, angrily redialing her number, cursing the voicemail every time he heard it, abandoning the lobby, heading towards the parking lot, scanning every hallway as he went, hoping Eli had not wandered too far.
The grass was yellow and crunchy as Julie ascended the crest of the hill which overlooked the grey headstones littering the landscape. One wrong spark and this cemetery would become ablaze. The residents here did not need to worry or care about such things anymore. Julie approached the center of a row of graves marked with flat stones rather than ones sticking out from the ground. She stopped, then dropped to the ground, sitting cross legged in front of the stone, the name catching her eye as she spoke to Eli "You have a lot of people worried about you, we didn't know where you went."
"Everyone's fighting over me," Eli said in a less than cherry tone he had earlier, and Julie knew that the toll of his unstable life was beginning to wear on him.
"I know that honey, and I'm sorry," Julie said, "grown-ups, they want what's best for you even if you don't see it right now."
Eli nodded as if he understood some of what she was telling him.
"Did you know my daddy?" Eli asked now, piercing Julie with a look of curiosity.
"No, I didn't," Julie said sadly "I wish I could have met him, I work with his friends though."
"I never got to see him either," Eli said, "mommy said he died when I was a baby."
Eli tugged at the dry grass in front of him, tossing some aside as if that would help ease the mess around him as Julie realized with a sinking feeling in her stomach that she had more in common with Eli than she thought; they both never got to meet Warrick but desperately wanted to and they both had Nick in their lives, impacting them in multiple ways.
"Listen buddy," Julie said now "I know you're scared and I know you're confused but I can promise you, Nicky and I and the social worker will do everything we can to make sure you get to be with your mommy again, you are really brave just like your daddy, he is so proud of you."
"Really?" Eli asked, his eyes lighting up at that thought.
"Yes," Julie said reaching out to take Eli's hand.
Eli smiled meekly but accepted his fate as he took Julie's hand, the social worker smiling at how well Julie managed to soothe Eli and get him to come back with them. Julie looked back at the headstone with Warrick's name on it, wondering how Eli knew to come here and wondering if his father really was watching down over them. In that moment, she could have sworn the heat wavered for just a second, offering up an icy breeze instead, or maybe it was just her wild imagination hoping for a sign from above.
Nick drove around the lab, the station and any close by parks searching for Eli but did not see him. Defeated, he retreated to the station, hoping someone there had found him hiding in a storage closet or someplace else. Instead he was met with an interesting sight. Eli was back in the lobby, and Julie was with him. They were seated across from each other, apparently coloring with the crayons and books Nick had provided him earlier. Eli was laughing at something Julie was drawing or saying, he could not tell. From afar, he was mesmerized by how well Julie was bonding with Eli. She must have found him first or offered to stay with him this time so he wouldn't run away. The social workers voice beside him interrupted his thoughts about Eli and Julie and how much he wished Warrick could be here to meet them both right now.
"He's a tough kid," the social worker commented to Nick "I hate doing this to him."
"It's for the best," Nick finally agreed, realizing Eli needed a stable temporary home, "where did he run off to?"
"The cemetery," the social worker said sadly "to see his father."
Nick tensed up at that thought. He had not been to Warrick's grave in a few months nor had he ever thought to take Eli there. At least Tina had allowed the child to know the truth.
"CSI Finlay found him," the social worker continued "she talked to him, calmed him down, convinced him to come back with us, she promised him she and his Uncle Nicky wouldn't forget about him when he's in foster care."
She smiled at Nick now, knowing the impact he had on Eli and how close Warrick and Nick had been when they worked together for so long. Greater still, was the smile Nick had when he watched Julie with Eli. His heart was aching, something he had not felt in years. All the times he spent alone, trying to wrap his head around the horrors of his job and the dark things that had happened. Then along came Julie Finlay, a change to the turmoil he faced daily, a reminder of the good remaining in the world. What was she doing to him? How could he be so stupid to even spend one moment being angry at her for this? As sweet as the moment was with Eli and Julie, Nick had to turn and walk away, his heart still aching for something else; Warrick's absence still lingered, and he desperately wished he was here to see his son and the life Nick had with Julie. But he couldn't change that, and that pain overwhelmed him, so he bade the social worker goodbye before backing away from the lobby and disappearing down the hallway.
The day was ending at last. The heat still scorched the landscape, but the sun was sinking behind the mountains, no longer a bright orange ball of heat in the sky. Julie was not used to working an opposite shift, but Eli's case took precedence today. She spent two hours with Eli, coloring in the books he had, playing games on the tablet he carried, sharing juice boxes and snacks with him. It was difficult to say goodbye to Eli when the social worker approached them and announced it was time for him to return to his foster home for the night. Seemingly lost, Julie wandered the hallways looking for another case to take or notes to file, eventually settling on the realization that it was time to go home. She managed to carry herself to the locker room where she found Nick seated on the bench in front of the lockers, staring at the ground. Her heart plummeted into her stomach, remembering the fight they had this morning and wondering if he had calmed down since then.
"Hey," she called out softly, not wanting to startle him, leaning against the doorway, worried if she entered the room fully, she would invade his space.
"Hey," he replied equally as quiet, not looking at her.
"I'm off for the night," she informed him, as if he cared still.
"Me too," he said flatly, either unwilling or unable to continue the conversation.
Julie shifted, crossing her arms still in defense mode.
"Look, I didn't mean to cause any trouble," she began her apology "but how was I supposed to know Eli was Warrick's son, you never told me."
"I know," Nick said to her surprise.
She scrunched up her face in confusion as she asked, "Then why did you yell at me?"
"Because I'm an idiot," Nick said, looking at her now with a look of sorrow but understanding.
Julie sighed, relieved that he was calm, approaching the bench now and sinking down on it, swinging one leg over each side.
"You are not an idiot," she reminded him gently "and everything worked out, Eli's safe, he's got a good foster home and the social worker is really nice and she's going to follow up and help Tina get better and-
"That's all great," Nick interrupted her "but it shouldn't be like this."
"What should it be like?" Julie asked him.
"I don't know," Nick said frustrated, shrugging carelessly "I guess, I didn't tell you about Eli because I wasn't sure how to bring my old life in with my new one, I wanted you guys to meet under better terms you know?"
"Eli is really sweet," Julie reminded him "and he is so smart, I talked to him after, well after he ran away."
She bit her lip, worried about his reaction, unaware that he already knew details of the afternoon.
"Oh yeah?" he asked in mock curiosity.
"He ran away to see his father," Julie continued "I found him there and we talked, he asked me if I knew his daddy and it absolutely killed me to tell him no, but I knew you and his friends, and I promised him we wouldn't give up on him."
Her eyes were filling with tears at the sadness of the situation. Nick could not help but sympathize with her as he said, "I know,"
"What?" she asked confused, tilting her head to the side.
"I saw you at the station with Eli," Nick finally revealed "you were so good with him, he adored playing with you, that's why I'm the idiot, I should have introduced you sooner, should have told you about him sooner, you care more than anyone else I've ever been with and I was blinded by missing Warrick and grieving for the life he could have had with Eli and Tina to see that."
Now he had tears in his eyes. Julie bit her lip, not wanting to cry and make them both feel worse. It was a remark on their short time together so far that they both wanted the same thing, a good life for Eli and Tina. Knowing that Nick had watched her bond with Eli made her heart twinge with an unusual pain she had not felt in a while. She scooted forward on the bench now, reached for his hands, clasping both of hers on top of his.
"You're a good person Nicky," she concluded what she wanted to tell him for hours, using a nickname she had tossed around a few times when they were alone, and he adored it.
When he felt her warms hands on his, he smiled because she radiated warmth at every second of the day. They had spent a few colder nights this fall snuggled up together and he never felt more at ease than with her. This moment was adding to the growing list of times he was completely at her mercy. He lifted one of his hands to rest on top of hers now as an acknowledgement of the affection and support she was giving him.
"And you can tell me anything," she added "anything that's bothering you, anytime, I'm here, I want to be here and listen and help if I can and if I can't, then I'll shut up and listen."
They both smirked at her humor, turning their heads at the same time, meaning to kiss but bumping foreheads instead.
"Sorry," she giggled, dropping her gaze to the floor, slightly embarrassed at how he made her feel like she had never done this before.
"Don't be," he said, grinning, then lifting her chin to kiss her properly.
They could have stayed there forever, lost in their own world, forgetting about being at work and potentially getting caught by their co-workers or worse, Ecklie. But when Nick broke the kiss and she kept her forehead pressed against his, he smiled.
"Will you stay?" he whispered, "you know, at my place tonight?"
She nodded, not wanting to pull away but knowing they could get home faster if she did.
On the drive home, Nick figured out what was making him so angry; secrets. He was tired of having to follow her in his car back to her condo so she could drop her car off and retrieve any necessities for staying over at his place. He was frustrated with having to hide from everyone until she was in his car, where they could safely show affections again. But he would gladly follow her to the ends of the earth until the moment in time where things would work out and they would not be punished for their relationship. When he was finally alone with her, nothing else mattered. The quiet time he spent with her was his absolute favorite thing now. Everything they did together was new and not like any other relationship he had ever been in. He melted when she intertwined her hand with his again, tracing the lines on his palm, gently, delicately, humming along to the radio while he drove. He loved the jolt in his stomach when she took his hand and pulled him up the walkway leading to his front porch. She took charge and her strong hold on him was like a current, a wave surrounding him and pulling him under. She looked back at him as they walked, smiling, a brightness in her eyes that could see into his very soul.
Inside, Sam circled their feet as they moved around the foyer, tossing aside keys and shoes and other work gear that weighed them down from their shifts. In Nick's mind, it was a metaphor, representing everything that kept them apart; work rules, this case, Nick's past. All of that disappeared from his mind as she continued to lead him up the stairs. The air conditioning working over time in this heat wave blasted cool air throughout each room. Adjusting to the temperature change from outside to in here was a welcome relief as was changing out of their work clothes. They fumbled around at the foot of the bed, shedding the restrictive clothing that weighed them down on every shift in this heat fueled town. The cold air bothered her faster, causing her to shiver until she tugged a clean shirt over her head. The simple motion entranced him, the writing on the shirt catching his eye; Seattle Seahawks. He grinned, knowing she loved football and various other sports as much as he did. The shirt fit her like a dress, the hem falling at her knees. She didn't notice him staring, watching her move around the room, stuffing her dirty clothes into the hamper, taking out her earrings and setting them on the dresser tenderly. When she turned to face him, he was already scooping her up in his arms, tucking one arm around her waist, the other arm under her knees, sweeping her off her feet. He loved her squeal of surprise followed by a delighted giggle at his playfulness.
"Gotcha," he teased, walking the two steps to the bed then spilling her on to it.
Her giggles continued as she squirmed to get comfortable on top of the messy bed, the covers strewn everywhere, the bed unmade, a bad habit they both could not break.
"If I didn't say so earlier, I'm sorry," he told her "I shouldn't have been so quick to judge what you did today."
"Don't even worry about it," she smirked, pulling him closer so they could kiss properly and celebrate the victory of today without any interruptions.
In the quiet stillness of the early morning, they were at peace. Every horrible word spoken was forgiven. Every snippy tone reduced to softer speech. Every bitter feeling extinguished and replaced with ones of passion and calmness. She rested her head on his shoulder, her arms lazily stretched out across his chest. He let one arm stay wrapped around her waist, keeping her close while letting his fingers trail up and down her arm. That repetitive motion made her smile and snuggle closer to him. This was what he truly loved; a different type of intimacy, where they were half asleep, cuddled close, safe from the harsh world around them, whispering in hushed tones, not a care in the world.
"It's Saturday," she whispered to him as they lay there, curtains closed, TV off, nothing of the outside world being let in to spoil this moment.
"Yeah," he murmured lazily, realizing the weekend meant more time to be with her.
"Can we go shopping?" she asked now "I want to buy some toys and stuff for Eli and maybe some stuff for Tina if she will accept it?" Just so they both know we support them." Plus, I promised Eli a new fire truck."
That simple statement, one of generosity and caring, made his heart ache so terribly, he thought it might burst. After everything they had been through, she still focused on Eli and ways to help him and Tina. Her compassion was boundless, just like everything else about her. There was nothing more exhilarating than discovering how much love she had to give to this world and to him. He was at her mercy now, there was no going back, not that he would ever want to. This was what he waited years for and what an agonizing wait it had been. He realized now that he had not answered her, becoming deeply lost in thoughts of his future with her.
"That's a great idea darlin'," he finally responded, tightening his arms around her, squeezing her side playfully "I think Eli will love that."
Darlin, such a simple nickname, yet it made her stomach tingle with joy, or maybe it was the way he kept his hand resting on her side. It was unique to him and something reserved only for her which made her even happier to hear it. She smiled, happy that he was in a better mood, grateful for his understanding and acceptance of what she had to offer. She felt scared when he shut her out today, scared of losing him when she finally felt safe with someone. She knew it was difficult for him to manage the trauma of his past with any new good thing that happened to him. She didn't want to change him, she just wanted to love him and show him that he could be himself with her. He didn't have to hide anymore. When she realized she had been too quiet, lost in her own mind about the time spent with him, she stretched her arm out again. Without saying a word, he knew what she wanted. He resumed the motion on her arm, slowly dragging his fingers up and down continuously, watching her grin uncontrollably at the feeling. There was nothing better than Saturdays.