Oh, How I Wish It Was Me
And in the limelight, I play it off fine, but I can't handle it when I turn off my nightlight.
That's what Niall had to do, anyway. He had to play it off like he was fine. His secret relationship with Zayn wouldn't be able to reach the public. The two of them had clicked since the X-Factor, and, that's where they'd began. The two of them. The other three boys had known, but that was it. As they grew more and more as a group, managements had suppressed this relationship. They had to act like they were best mates, and leave it at that. And Niall was alright with that. But, that act didn't last long. Because, soon enough, Zayn had met Perrie. Niall had denied it for the longest time, but their relationship was breaking at the seams. Zayn had told Niall, day by day, that he loved him. Only him. But, each day, he seemed to be drifting away more and more. They were still close, just like brothers would be, but- Niall couldn't help but be hurt. He was happy that Zayn was happy with Perrie when they'd gotten together, but it killed him inside. What killed him even more? The fact that the man that he had once loved so much had proposed to someone else. But, again. The blonde had to play it off like he was fine. He hadn't even told the other boys how he was feeling. Every night, he couldn't handle it. Once that light turned off, he broke down.
Well, it's good to hear your voice, I hope you're doing fine. And, if you ever wonder, I'm lonely here at night.
Niall had been woken up pretty early that morning with a phone call. The blonde rubbed his eyes drowsily and let out a quiet yawn before grabbing his phone, checking the caller I.D to see who it was. It was none other than Zayn. Through all the pain that this boy had made Niall feel; he also made him feel extremely happy. It was a weird mix- one that only Zayn made him feel. The smallest of smiles formed on the blonde's lips before he answered, letting out another yawn as he spoke drowsily.
"Zayn? S'so early, mate... What's up? You need somethin'?" Niall spoke quietly as he sat himself up in his bed, glancing out the window while waiting for the raven haired male to respond. It was nice speaking to him again, though. Hearing Zayn's voice had some sort of soothing effect to Niall, even after all these years.
The excitement was clear in Zayn's voice. Hearing Zayn's excitement had made the blonde even happier. "Well, Perrie and I are startin' to work out all the details of our wedding, yeah?" This immediately made Niall's heart sink a bit. But, he'd become quite good at faking his happiness when it came to this subject over the years. "And we were wonderin', Perrie and I..." Niall was growing confused as to why Zayn had been dragging whatever he was getting to on, so he came right out and expressed that confusion.
"Just get to it, mate. What were you wonderin'?" Niall spoke teasingly as he let out a quiet chuckle. Niall had always been the one to get Zayn to talk. He'd supported him, since, despite his appearance, he could be soft-spoken at times. That was another thing that Niall liked about Zayn. Niall tapped his fingers on the side table as he waited for the raven haired male to reply, but, his heart sunk even further as he heard Zayn speak. He even sort of regretted asking him in the first place.
"We were wonderin' if you could be my best man! You can't turn me down, yeah?" Zayn's excited tone grew more and more, but, on the other end of the line, Niall's heart sunk lower and lower. But, Zayn was right. No matter how much pain it would cause him... he couldn't turn Zayn down. It wouldn't sit right with him. Niall had taken a few moments to think regardless, feeling tears swell up in his eyes. This was real. This was happening. The man he loved was getting snatched away from him, for good. Regardless of how he was feeling, though, his cheery tone remained.
"Of course I will, mate! I'd be honored!"
Loved you more than I did before. Nothing's changed, no one can take your place. It gets harder every day.
a/n: first chapter was pretty short! I promise, the next one will be longer.