Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games in any shape or form.
How It's Meant To Be
If you asked Rai Mellark how his family is, right now, he would tell you this.
His mother is the scapegoat for everything. She is bitter and cold. She slaps her sons – especially Rai – if something is done wrong. Rai can only work out how she is truly feeling by observing her carefully.
His father is, in many ways, his mother's opposite. He is quiet and gentle but very open. He hides nothing about his feelings for anyone. He's always there.
Koarn is angry and passionate. He asks but never answers properly. He is the closest of the Mellark sons to their mother because he has an uncanny ability to work out what she wants. Koarn and Rai often argue about how the world is because Rai believes the best of people whereas Koarn only sees the worst. He hates Peeta.
Peeta ... is never there. Koarn would probably try to add something to that which Rai would disagree with. But he has to agree with Koarn about one thing – Peeta has barely been with them since the Victory Tour. Rai doesn't know how he is right now. But it seems he's still someone who loves people with devotion bordering on obsession. Someone who looks for peace first. Who keeps finding beauty where any other person would see only ugly things.
And Rai slots in around all of this, answering questions because no one else will do it properly. Trying to avoid his mother. Defending Peeta.
That's how it is.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
If you asked Rai Mellark about how he envisions his death, he would probably look at you as though you had lost your mind. If you pressed him, he would tell you this.
His parents would already be dead. Somehow, he imagines his father dying first and his mother a few years later. They would have both died of old age or illness. His mother would seem quite uncaring at her husband's death but if Rai looks for the signs, he would see her grief. With both parents, he would have told them how he felt and said goodbye. As would Peeta and Koarn. So there would be no regrets there.
He would have a wife and children. And grandchildren. He would still be working and would, one day, just collapse. Everyone would be called. They would all, even Peeta, be there to say goodbye to him and he would pass away, happy.
That is, of course, assuming that Peeta survives the Quarter Quell. And that he and/or Katniss Everdeen don't do anything else which may give the Capitol cause to murder the Mellarks. In that case, Rai imagines his death would be a gunshot to the back of his head on live TV. But when he envisions these things (not that he often imagines his death), he imagines them as they should be. So his parents would die years before he did. He would be the next to die because he is the oldest of the Mellark brothers.
But in the back of his mind, he knows that the way things should be is not usually how they are.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
When the lights go out, Rai doesn't know what to think. Part of him is screaming that there is something deeply wrong and they need to leave the district now. The more rational part of his mind tells him to wait and see. The Capitol wouldn't do anything drastic. Yet, if they're angry at Katniss Everdeen and Peeta – which, considering the arena just exploded, they probably are – then they will arrest the Mellark family. Not a comforting thought.
Can they wait to find out, he wonders. The answer comes to him. No. They need to run. They shouldn't be here when the Capitol arrive to kill them. Probably in front of Peeta, to torture him.
Unless Peeta is dead of course.
"Shut up," he mutters.
"What?" Koarn snaps and Rai realises that he has just told himself to shut up out loud. He shakes his head at his brother before remembering that it is pitch dark. This isn't good. He's panicking.
"N-nothing." He breathes in.
"Alright," grunts Koarn, apparently deciding that this behaviour is normal for Rai. "So, are we leaving or what?"
"What?"
"If we stay, someone's going to come and kill us. We have to leave," Koarn explains patiently. This is typical. Rai agonises over a decision to himself (if not to others) and Koarn just says it as though it's the obvious solution.
"We've done nothing wrong," his mother hisses suddenly.
"I really doubt they care, Mother," Koarn snaps back.
A sharp breath. "Yes, you're right, Koarn." She pauses and then asks, "Where will we go?"
There is silence. Rai realises it's time for him to fill in the answer again. "Out of the district," he answers softly. "Somewhere beyond here. There must be something, somewhere in this world."
"Let's go," his father says. Rai hears everyone standing up. Then they stumble to the door, bumping into each other. At some point, Mr Mellark picks up a flashlight and switches it on, helping them see their way to the entrance of the house. None of them speak.
It's all wrong. Koarn should have been telling Rai that his answer was stupid. His mother should have been ripping it to pieces. What if they get out and end up in District 13 with the toxic air? Or even reach the ocean and find they can't get anywhere? Rai's answer was no answer at all but everyone has accepted it.
They must be in trouble, Rai thinks. Koarn and Mrs Mellark never even accept proper solutions if they can help it. And his father usually speaks up when an idea is as stupid as Rai's.
As they walk into the square, it occurs to him that maybe no one wants to denounce his idea because then they have to face reality: they have no hope.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
If you asked Rai Mellark how his family is meant to be if there is no hope, he would simply say that wouldn't happen. There's always meant to be hope.
So if you asked him to imagine how his family would be instead, he would tell you this.
His father would try to hold them all together. He would be quietly confident but would not lie about their chances. Instead, he would calmly help them accept their death.
His mother would be getting more and more tense. And probably more violent. More than once, Rai and Koarn would tell her off and avoid her hand. She would be angry. She would be defiant of her husband, much to everyone's exasperation.
Koarn would be blaming everyone and everything and getting more and more frustrated.
Rai would be fitting in around all of this, trying to keep calm. He would snap more and more at his mother and brother. He would panic. But he would keep answering questions and try to find reassurance in his father's calm manner.
Everyone knows how Peeta reacts when he's faced with death because he seems to have done nothing else for the last year. He reacts in a way which Rai thinks everyone should. His father is the one who is closest to this. It embarrasses him to think he can never match up to his little brother in this respect.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
The second sign that something is definitely wrong is when they see the Capitol hovercrafts and the orange glow in the distance. If Rai strains his ears, he can hear screams. There's only one possibility: the Capitol is destroying District 12.
It is Koarn who asks the hopeful, "Can we still run for it?"
And it is Mr Mellark who finally answers in his soft voice.
"No, son."
It's wrong because Rai is supposed to answer the questions. Mr Mellark is meant to be silent. Besides which, Koarn should never have been asking in such a subdued voice. He should have been aggressively suggesting impossible escape plans.
"So what do we do now?" Rai hears himself asking. He looks at his family in the dim orange glow. "Die?"
No one answers that.
"It's a good thing Peeta isn't here," he adds after a moment. He isn't sure why. Maybe he wants to get rid of the silence. Or drown out the screams for the Seam. Or ignore the fact the hovercrafts are getting closer.
"He'd probably still leave us," Koarn mutters rebelliously.
"Koarn!" Rai exclaims but, secretly, he's relieved. They sound normal again.
"What? He'd be over the Everdeen girl's house. Wouldn't give a damn about us!"
"You don't know that."
"Don't I?"
"Be quiet, Koarn, and don't speak about your brother like that again," Mrs Mellark hisses. "We don't know whether he is dead or alive but now is not the time to curse him."
"Sorry, Mother."
They sound so right, arguing. With Koarn being angry and their mother snapping at them. But Rai can see in his mother's face that she is worried about Peeta. His mother only worries about Peeta when he's truly in danger.
"Never speak ill of the dead, Koarn."
Ironic, considering their fate.
"Peeta may not be dead, Narcissa," Mr Mellark interrupts.
"And maybe he is, Toset," she answers coldly. "Will we ever know?"
"Don't die, thinking your son is dead. Die believing that he's alive and well."
Rai expects a cutting reply but, to his surprise, she nods. "Maybe you're right." The baker reaches out and takes his wife's hand. Rai hasn't seen them stand like this for years. This is how family is meant to be. But his was never like that. Another sign that their world is ending.
The light from the firebombs gets closer. Sub-consciously, Rai stands closer to his brother and parents.
"I hope Peeta isn't dead," Koarn says suddenly. Rai looks at him.
"So ... you don't hate him anymore?" he asks, at a loss of anything to say. Part of him is wondering why he's now asking and Koarn is answering. Perhaps apocalyptic scenes automatically switch everything around.
"I do but ... he's family. We're family." He shrugs.
That is probably the closest Koarn will ever get to saying he loves Peeta.
It's surprising how calm Rai is. He should be panicking by now but, instead, he's serene. There is nothing he can do. Or maybe the idea of dying just hasn't hit him yet.
A blast moves them apart. Rai is hurled backwards and just manages to see his father, flying into the butcher's shop. Hurriedly, he stands up but the flames are spreading and all he can do is back away. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots his mother and brother so he limps towards them, coughing.
"Dad?" he shouts when he reaches them.
"Gone," his mother says. Her voice is no more emotional than usual but her eyes tell a different story.
"We never said goodbye." Koarn whispers it but Rai reads it on his lips.
He's right. They didn't. Instead they argued about Peeta. And that isn't how it was meant to be. None of this is. Even when Rai thought they would be executed, he imagined telling his father how much he loved him.
"Boys," Mrs Mellark yells, voice ragged, "Stand up straight." Surprised, the pair jerk up. "Your father would want that. And so would Peeta. We will face this in the same way they would. With dignity."
Mrs Mellark isn't meant to be the glue that holds them together. She's meant to split them up.
"Yes, Mother," Rai answers. She extends hands to her sons. They grab them and then hold each other's hands. Fire inches closer to them.
"Bye, Mother," Koarn yells suddenly. "Bye, Rai. I love you."
Koarn isn't meant to be the one who thinks to say goodbye first. Rai is because Rai is the eldest son.
He opens his mouth to reply but another blast hits them and he's losing his grip and he's flying and when he lands, he feels his bones crack. Funny though – he can't feel any pain yet.
He looks up through the smoke. He can't see them. The fire rages towards him. So he will die alone, without having said goodbye to anyone. Nothing is as it's meant to be. They were never meant to be slaughtered by the Capitol. They were never meant to be bodies left in ruins.
But how it's meant to be is rarely how it is.
He recalls his mother's words. He should die with dignity, like his father and Peeta would. He looks up and sees the hovercraft positioned above. The bomb, falling, in slow motion. One thing that can be how it should be, he thinks. Even if his death wasn't meant to be today, he will do it as it should have been. No relations. Lots of regrets. But thinking of those he loves, with a smile on his face.
Dad.
Mother.
Peeta.
Koa-
Fin