A/N: This is my first founders' fic, so it may seem a bit...weird.

A man in a dark robes stands on a hill looking down on the site of his next murder, a castle. "That fool, he cannot even afford to have proper security. It only took me two seconds to dispose of those foolish guards; normally it takes at least five." His mission: kill the obstacle. The obstacle: Godric Gryffindor. Half a mile away, the obstacle awoke.

Godric Gryffindor looked in the mirror, was he really ugly and fat? If not, why did Cynthia Roberts say he was? He looked deep into the surface, trying to find mar in his appearance. Nope, he was just handsome Godric Gryffindor. The mirror reflected a tall man, about mid-twenties, with long jet-black hair and a flawless face studded with twin hazel eyes. What was wrong with Cynthia? He was the angel of perfection, like he always was. If you're the angel of perfection, why doesn't Helga go out with you? Drat, it was that little voice in his head, come back to haunt him. Then again, the voice had a good point, if he was so stunningly handsome, why wasn't Helga Hufflepuff on her knees begging for him to go out with her and not the other way around? His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the window. Actually it wasn't a knock, more like a rock, a big huge rock that now lay on Godric's carpet, along with the remains of the window. The rock uncurled and he could see it was not a rock, but a man. He snatched up his wand from his bedside table, this man meant trouble, most probably deadly trouble.

"Ah, Godric, your guards were to easy to dispose of."

"That's because they haven't been to guard camp for a while."

"You send them to guard camp? Well, no matter. I was hired to kill you and that's what I intend to do."

"Well, you won't." He thought fast, which one of his spells would serve him the best? He decided to try a new one that he had only tested on mice. "Petrificus Totalus!" The assassin froze with his hands pinned to his sides. He then slowly toppled over backwards. "YES!" Now he could boast to his friends about this! He stepped over to the horn. The horn was a large bison horn, connected to some tubes. Each tube went to a different friend. He picked up his horn and opened the tube that connected to his best mate, Salazar Slytherin. "Salazar?"

"Yo."

"You'll never guess what happened, not in a million, zillion, bachillion, quadrillion, phosferillion years squared!"

"Godric."

"I just defeated an assassin in my own castle with a prototype spell that I had only tried on rats before!" Godric said in one breath.

"Yowzers. Which spell?"

"The full body-bind I was telling you about. Because of it, my to-be-assassin in laying unconscious on my carpet! I wonder who as paying him."

"Probably an ex-girlfriend."

"Hey!"

"It's true, there was Jennifer, Hailey, Barbara, Amanda, Alyssa, Beth, Marie, Maria, Burgundy, Nicole, John's girlfriend, what's her face."

"Alicia."

"Thanks, Alicia, Anissa, Kali, Kelly, Mary, Keshena, Sarah, Zelda, and Alexis."

"And Cynthia."

"You dumped Cynthia?"

"No, she dumped me, she said I was fat and ugly. I'm never letting you set me up on a blind date again."

"It wasn't my fault! The agency said they were known throughout medieval England for their matchmaking skills. You must have been the first time they failed."

"Yeah, well, after twenty girlfriends I think I should quit dating."

"Twenty girlfriends, nineteen broken hearts, one happy heart, Cynthia's."

"That's the first time I've been dumped."

"Just imagine what it would be like if those other nineteen girls dumped you too, hmm? What would you have done?"

"I would have stopped dating long ago."

"See, you probably stopped all of those women from having love lives now, gal-dangit Godric!"

"Oh."

"I should…" he fell silent.

"Salazar."

"THAT'S IT! THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO! Godric, you are never going to have feelings for another woman again unless she is the one fate decreed that you should be with for eternity. DATONNA!"

Helga Hufflepuff smiled as she looked in the mirror. As a blonde she was always being looked down upon, especially since she was a very short blonde. Although the no-nonsense brown eyes helped people from making fun of her to her face, she was still aware of the unpleasantness that occurred behind her back. Just then her horn rang. "Hello?"

"Oh, Helga, you cannot believe what is happening."

"Rowena, where are you?"

"Um…"

"Are you in Salazar's bedchamber again?"

"Yes. But you'll never guess what conversation Salazar is having this very moment with Godric."

She grit her teeth, "Gryffindor."

"Well, yes. I'm on my mobile horn, you know how up-to-date I am, right? Well, sweetie, Salazar just cursed Gryffindor over the horn."

"Is that possible?"

Helga could almost see her shrug, "Apparently."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What spell did he use?"

"A new one, I had never heard it before. Luckily, Salazar explained the spell to him before he used it, or we would still be clueless. He said: 'Godric, you are never going to have feelings for another woman again unless she is the one fate decreed that you should be with for eternity. DATONNA!'"

"Rowena!" Helga cried as she felt a spell take hold. "What did you do that for?"

"Do what for?"

"Curse me!"

"I cursed you?"

"Rowena, you used to be the smartest out of the four of us. Now you just cursed your best friend. I think that sleeping with Salazar has dulled your brain!"

"Hey! Be nice to my little Salazar or I will curse you again, this time on purpose!"

"You be nice to me!"

"No!"

"Fine! What are we going to do, now that you cursed me with Salazar's curse?"

There was a pause and when Rowena started to talk again there was a panicking sound to her voice that Helga had never heard before. "I—I don't know! I think you're right. Sleeping with Salazar has dulled my brain. I can't even think logically anymore. Helga, I'm scared, I'm becoming stupid!"

"It's okay, Rowena, calm down."

"NO!"

"ROWENA! CALM DOWN!"

"Jeeze, Helga, you're not very calm yourself."

Helga took a deep breath before she heard Rowena's protests as her horn was tugged away, "Rowena?"

A different voice came on the horn and the sound of it made Helga's heart stop. "Helga? I—I love you." It was Godric Gryffindor. Professing his love for the only girl who would not have him. "Wow, that came out wrong. I never imagined saying that to a girl and actually meaning it. Helga, are you still there? I apologize. I never meant for that to happen. I love you!" She heard noises that sounded like Godric was smacking himself around the head. "I'm sorry Helga, I better got off of the line before I really make a fool of myself." Then the horn on the other end of the tube went dead.

There was a knock at Helga's door, "Open up by order of the king!"