Underwear

A/N: I asked a friend to give me a challenge for a fanfic. Actually, I asked her several times. This was my third challenge. The rules were:

- Must take place in front of the gates of Hell

- Must include underwear

- Must include bows and arrows

- Sirius is having a bad hair day, and is freaking out

- Snape wants his mommy

- Tom has developed an obsession with panty hose

I hope you enjoy it. it's the craziest of her challenges so far

Questions rang out from the gates of Hell.

"Is this another Death Eater meeting?"

"Who messed up my hair?! It was you, wasn't it!"

"Where's my mommy?!"

"Why am I in the oven?"

"Why are we here?"

"What are you doing here? You're dead!"

Five figures continued to bicker angrily until the sixth roared, "SILENCE!"

"I don't take orders from anybody!" Sirius Black complained. "Especially people who MESS UP MY HAIR!"

"Black, what are you doing here? I killed you, you insolent fool!" Bellatrix Lestrange yelled.

"Hey, Trixie," Sirius smirked, "And how should I know? Ask the author!"

"I WANT MY MOMMY!" Severus Snape bellowed.

"I told Draco it was bad to stuff people in the oven, I told him.." Lucius Malfoy was muttering.

Wormtail was looking at Sirius fearfully, glad he hadn't noticed him yet.

"Wormtail?!" Voldemort bellowed, "What are you doing here! I told you to iron my pantyhose!"

Sirius whirled around.

"Wormtail," he growled, narrowing his eyes, and searched for his wand. Not finding it, he grinned maniacally. "No matter, I'll rip you apart with my bare hands!"

"HEY, HEY, HEY!" A female voice cried from the sky. "No killing! I will only allow slapping people with pantyhose."

"I can do whatever I want!" Sirius growled.

"No, you can't," the voice continued, "I'm writing you, anyway, so shut up."

Wormtail whimpered. He backed away from Sirius.

"S-S-Sorry, Master," he stuttered, "I just suddenly appeared here."

"WOULD SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY I HAVE BEEN SHOVED INTO AN OVEN BY MY OWN SON?" roared Lucius Malfoy, and he began to sob uncontrollably.

"GET OVER IT!" Voldemort roared in return. Suddenly, a cupid's arrow shot from the sky into the ground, with a valentine stuck on the tip.

"Ooh!" Bellatrix squealed, and grabbed the card. "Must be for me," she said smugly, and began to read it aloud.

"Dear All The Insane People In Front Of The Gates Of Hell,

This is Cupid. I have sent this card to inform you that your Love licenses have run out. Please send three hundred galleons to this address.."

Bellatrix threw the card to the ground.

"Stupid junk mail," she grumbled.

"That was very random," Snape observed.

"You're very ugly," Sirius observed.

"You're very mean," Snape pouted, "I want my mommy."

"Wormtail..." Sirius began to growl again, "YOU MESSED UP MY HAIR!" He ran towards Wormtail and messed up Wormtail's hair. Wormtail began to weep.

"Underwear is fun to wear!" Lucius announced, and took out six pairs of underwear from his pockets. He put one on each person's head.

"Muhahahaha," Sirius laughed evilly, "I am the LORD OF THE UNDIES!" Everyone else laughed evilly too.

"WE ARE THE MINIONS OF THE UNDIES!" they yelled.

Everyone was silent for two seconds.

"I'm bored." Sirius said.

THE END