"If that fucking thing doesn't get the fuck away from me, I will not hesitate to kill a bitch. I swear, brother." I legitly screamed, pointing at it outside our door, eyeing me like it's going to kill me or something.
"Why can't you just-" he asked, or mocked, I don't exactly care at the moment. This had been a constant issue for the both of us. Neither really wanted to lose.
"Why can't I just what?! Look at it! That disgusting ball of filth! It looks at me like it wants to KILL me, you understand?! That bloodthirsty piece of all unwantedness in the face of the Earth. So evil and useless! I want to extract its spleen and splash it on its face." I shouted back from my bedroom. I would win this time. If he can just move it, I mean him, I've just discovered it's a guy, then everything will go back to normal again!
"He's not even hurting you! And he's my friend! God, you're overreacting!" he shouted back, sounding genuinely hurt if not for his face which flashes a grin of amusement. This bitch is going down.
"JUST KILL THE GODDAMNED THING AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! You hear me, brother?!" I replied as I throw a pillow at his face.
"I'm sorry, what? I can't hear you over the sound of my awesomeness." he said, whistling, while walking over to the kitchen looking jolly as fuck. As he reach the end of the living room, he walked back, looking at the front door with an evil smile in his face.
"Don't even think about it!" I threatened, which just made him walk nearer at it, looking innocent as if he wouldn't commit such a crime as letting the damned thing in. He walked. Nearer. Sweat is beginning to form in my forehead. This isn't going as planned. The door creaked as I stare at him, opening it while looking at the ceiling like there's something really interesting there. Then I heard it.
"Quack."
"OH HOLY FUCK DON'T YOU DARE GET HERE YOU DISGUSTING CREATURE YOU. I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET IT." I shouted at the sight of it. Small. Yellow feathers. Eyes so black if you look at it you'll get lost. Beak. Oh my God, the beak. Frightful.
"Quack." It's nearer. I'm freezing. I don't know what to do. This is too much for me. I tell myself to run. RUN, BITCH, RUN. I immediately closed my bedroom door and locked it. Breathing heavily, I collapsed in my bed, the sound of a beak repeatedly tapping my door. I think I'd have to stay here forever. It stopped. I would have opened the door. But I know better.
NEVER TRUST A DUCK.
If you didn't get it, then probably you haven't met the Herondales yet.