A/N: Hello! This is my first time making something of this rating and it's prone to change, but I'll try to write what I can for it. I was originally going to add this to Gintama Folklores but I think it should be its own special thing due to the higher rating. Anyway, thank you for reading! This will be a short multi-chapter story.

(I do not own Gintama or the original film or story; all rights go to rightful owners)

~meowmeow814

Once upon a time, there lived six beautiful mermaid princesses. Under the sea, they raced above glittering coral, looped through slick kelp, and rolled and giggled on the gentle seagrass. The sun, so far away, was just their watery spotlight. The girls swam and sang, sweeter than any nightingale of land, swifter than any swallow of air.

And yet, despite the beauty around them, they longed to see land. While the chubby yellow flounder-not-flounder and the crabby crab were nice/ grouchy and all, the world above held so much more.

"Aaah, how I wish I could eat something other than Drippin' Drops…" complained one, flicking her violet tail one day as the sisters were resting.

"Ugh Otae, why do you always talk about your boring Drippin' Drops? If I went on land, the first thing I would do is go to a bar and then do this and that and that and-"

Another snorted at the daydreaming pink mermaid. "And that's what you always talk about."

The pink mermaid snapped back irritatedly. "Well you, you always act like you're so much better! Succumb to darkness!" she shrieked and bowled over the cynical orange mermaid. The two tumbled through the water in a mess of bubbles and hair. A true catfish fight.

The fourth sighed. She absentmindedly fiddled with her sweeping black hair, ruddy tail twitching. "Why are we always like this…"

"Oi, the biggest problem here is your eyepatch! How the hell does something like that work underwater, oiii?!"

"Don't you dare lay a hand on Kyuu-chan!"

Otae promptly joined the fight, and an underwater sandstorm started. Kyuubei awkwardly sat where she was and turned to the sister next to her. "Oh they're so immature… right?"

"Ahnm, I dun mind as long as ma cat ears dun get hurt."

Catherine nodded expertly, eyebrows bobbing equally expertly. A green tail switched back and forth.

"..."

"..."

"... wait, wait, wait just a second. Isn't, isn't there something wrong with this scene right here. Nin-nin."

"I suddenly feel my character appeal being lost with this cat-eared mermaid. Ice-ice."

"...uh, no. Yoshiwara doesn't have catchphrases, sorry if you were expecting something."

"Well anyway, let's just ignore this… this, uhm, yes, for now. So then, whatever were we talking about?"

The orange, violet, and pink mermaids settled back down. The violet mermaid brightened up and turned towards their last, youngest sister. "Ah yes, Kagura-chan! We haven't heard from you yet. What would you want if you could go up to the surface? Food? Fun? Perhaps even…" She grinned mischievously and poked the turquoise tail. "Perhaps even romance?"

"Hmm, me? Why would I want to go to the surface-aru? I've got all I need right here," she replied, chewing a long strand of seaweed.

"...Um, Kagura-chan? That's, well, that's not sukonbu that's just raw seaweed."

"Anego, I am not one who discriminates. All kelp must be treated equally-aru…" Her sentence trailed off as she looked off into the distance dramatically. She casually tore off another kelp from the root while she was at it.

"Riiight… Ah, so, anyway, I figured maybe we could try to sneak our way up to the surface. Y'know, just to see what it's like. It sounds so wonderful and nice, it couldn't hurt to just look, right?" The violet mermaid said, turning to look at each sister with excitement gleaming in her eyes.

The pink mermaid nodded slowly in agreement. "Yes, it does sound quite interesting. But when and how…"

"Well, we could go tonight. Tonight's a full moon so even if we left at midnight, we could still see land quite clearly," the orange mermaid suggested helpfully.

"Wow, I never thought that Tsuki could make such a reasonable sugges-"

" Well tonight it is then," cutted the violet mermaid, pointedly glaring at the pink mermaid, who shrugged innocently. "Is there anyone who wouldn't like to go? Kyuu-chan?"

"You know I'd go anywhere you go, Tae-chan."

"Great! And, uh, er, Ca...Ca…"

"Ahm, I'm fine, gotta tend to mai romanses back 'ere," she said, trying to wink roguishly but failing too miserably for it to be joked about.

"W-well, that's fine. Kagura-chan?"

"Anego, I don't need that world. Everything I love is in the ocean. My seaweed is in the ocean. My sisters are in the ocean. Why must I go to the surface-aru?" Kagura contentedly chewed her kelp, so happily that not even Otae could cause her to budge. She sighed.

"Haaa, is that so. Well then, we'll be going on without you Kagura-chan." With one final glance back, the violet mermaid sped away with the other three.

Night approached and all kinds of slithering, glistening creepers began to crawl out. The four sisters discretely swam up to the surface, the moonlight gilding them silver. Kagura watched them go from the castle. She shoved away the pangs of longing.

"I don't need it, land or anything. Let them leave me for the stupid land, baaakaaa," she muttered childishly, swishing her tail on the polished marble. "Well that's just fine, I'll go on my own adventure, just you wait, I'll have a better time than anything from land. I'm sick of hearing this obsession!"

With a rebellious cry, she slid out the window. She swam and swam, past the floral gardens of coral, past the myriad school of fleeting fish, past the floating clouds of jellyfish, until there came to be nothing but sand and gravel. And one, dark, cave.

The underwater grotto was gloomy, shadows spilling out from fluorescent rocks glowing a sickly green. Kagura entered, boldly at first and then cautiously, as the light became more and more distorted. Finally, at the very end sat the sea witch, black flowing hair cascading to the unfriendly rocks. She turned around at Kagura's entrance.

She grinned, rather warmly. "Why hello, do you need something?"

Kagura blinked at the bright demeanor. "Wait, aren't you… I dunno, supposed to be more, intimidating? Er, cold and regal and evil? Ursula-style?"

"Oh I don't know, Disney gives me a bad rap, I'm actually pretty cool. But say, why are you here?" She peered at Kagura curiously.

"Well, uhm, I was, bored? I guess?" she replied lamely.

"Hmm, hmm, 'that so…" The sea-witch thoughtfully looked at her shelves of potions for a bit before suddenly asking, "Hey, do you like role-playing?"

"Wha-what? ...er, not in particular, no-"

"Hmm, hmm, I see, I like role-play too in fact. Well, in any case, I have just the potion for you." She snapped her fingers and a eel came forward with a glass flask. Inside was a crystal clear liquid, so clear the reflected darkness inside made it shine like obsidian.

Kagura stared at the bottle. "What is this?"

"It's something fun. I'm sure you'll like it. And it keeps me from being bored too. We'll have a grand time now, here, just drink it. But if you don't say your feelings, you just might not be able to return to being a mermaid in three days. But that's that~"

With a surprisingly strong grip, the eel forced it down her throat by pinching Kagura's nose.

"Agf, eww, what was tha-"

With a bwumf and with more than enough cliche sparkles, the turquoise tail faded away into a pair of pale legs. Kagura only had a fleeting second to look shocked before flailing for air, the water strangely feeling insubstantial to her.

Soyo waved at the eel and it dragged the mermaid out of the cavern, guiding her to the surface. Soyo grinned evilly, although maybe it's given since she was the original OkiKagu shipper. But that's for later…