Buona lettura!
Disclaimer: All rights go to their respectful and rightful owner. I never own KHR.
GOODBYE, MY DEAR FRIEND
Dear Tsuna-san,
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you beforehand, but I'm never good at goodbyes. I'm leaving to England to pursue my dream. You remember it, don't you? If becoming a costume designer won't work for me, I will become a fashion designer. I will learn a lot, and I will go around the world. But, Tsuna-san… I won't return to you, forever.
Seeing you surrounded by everyone, I know you will be fine. I moved on with my life, so are you. Please don't hate me. I only did what I think is right, and I really believe with all my heart that you'll be fine with Kyoko-chan. You love her, don't you? But when I think about it again, I don't have anyone with me, even my parents. It's just me… and the world. I know I will be alone, sometimes I wish I didn't make this decision. But once you know it's what you must do, you will be bound to do it no matter what, especially if it's for the sake of your loved one.
I feel like I'm running away from you. I just… couldn't bear to know you're in love with my best friend. I feel like going to pursue my dream is just an excuse for me to get away from the heartache. I still have so many things to say to you, especially about how I truly feel about you. But I have to end this. I have to stop clinging to you and start my own life. Just writing this letter already makes me feel lonely and crying, but I have to be tough. But I won't forget about you. All of our 10 years moment will always be carved in my memories. I will always remember everyone, and you. It's time to say goodbye, Tsuna-san.
I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you.
Goodbye
…
~24 hours before~
Traditional Japanese inn was never this lively before, but the guests were Vongola. They were adult, but their talent of making a ruckus was still intact. Thankfully, the inn was Vongola's property. Gokudera and Ryohei were playing ping-pong passionately, until the ball hit Gokudera's face.
"That hurts, lawn-head! Where were you aiming at?! Are you trying to pick fight?!" he yelled at Ryohei's face. "You're just extremely slow, octopus-head! I have an extremely good aim!" he shouted back.
"Shut the crap and let's settle this!" Gokudera rolled up his yukata sleeves, as well as Ryohei.
"G-Guys, calm down." Tsuna stood near them, trying to arbitrate the two. "Let it be, Tsuna," the infant spoke while playing video games with Yamamoto. "We came back to Japan for a vacation. Tomorrow is your birthday. You should relax. More importantly, Kyoko and Haru, are they back yet?"
"No. And I thought they said it will be quick. It's been almost an hour."
"You should get them back. We can't afford any mafia to take the chance to hurt them."
With Tsuna nodded, he went out to search. The village and the inn weren't far away. He managed to run there in less than 5 minutes. He looked around, it was night, so the streets were pretty much empty. He spotted Kyoko in a souvenir shop. He approached her and she noticed. "Ah, Tsuna-kun. What is it?"
He froze, blushed at the ribbon hairpin on Kyoko's hair. She looked beautiful in it—his face said so. He scratched his head and looked down in embarrassment. "Y-You look pretty in that hairpin, Kyoko-chan."
"Thanks." her bright smile made his face redder.
Haru was near the vicinity. She was talking to a clerk and bought a golden pendant as she opened the lid. "Miss," the clerk called. "Normally people bought this without putting the picture in immediately. They would let whoever they give it to choose a picture to be put."
"It's a birthday present, actually… and a separation gift." she smiled at the picture inside. After the transaction was done, she walked to Kyoko, but stopped as she noticed Tsuna with her, and how happy he was talking to her. She could feel the tremendous pain in her chest, hugging the present tightly as her face looked in pain.
"Ah, by the way, where's Haru?"
"Haru-chan? Oh, she's right there," she turned around, he looked at her back, spotted Haru. She was looking at them, in spite of her mind wasn't there. For unknown reason, as they saw her, she hurriedly headed left to the forest, running. "Ah, Haru! Wait! Don't go there!" but she didn't hear him. "K-Kyoko-chan, go back to the inn now! I'll chase her!" with Kyoko ran back, he ran towards Haru.
He went into a very deep part of the forest, moreover the steep road made him harder to run. He kept running tirelessly until he spotted her in front of a waterfall. She was facing it and sat on the ground. "There you are," he approached her. "Geez, Haru. You shouldn't be here at all. Why are you running away, anyway?"
She fell silent for a moment and looked at him to give a fake smile. "Sorry, Tsuna-san. I thought I heard a fox, but I guess it was just my imagination."
"Huh?" he blinked in confusion. His intuition told him there was something strange, especially her smile. Moreover, he didn't see a fox around. But he brushed it off. "Anyway, you know it's dangerous to go out by yourself, right? Tomorrow is my birthday. Usually around this time, that's when mafia who hates me comes to kill me or my friends."
"Then, why did you leave Kyoko-chan behind?"
"I told her to go back. The town is secured, so she should be fine. But we're deep in the forest. It's not safe here." he offered his hand. "Stand up."
She stared at him for a moment with her hurting heart. She hesitantly accepted, stood up, but tripped. She hit Tsuna, they fell, and unfortunately they fell right behind the steep road. The soil was slippery; he and Haru tumbled down the hill relentlessly until they got out of the forest. She landed on top of him while he pretty much had the pain. They were messed up, leaves and small branches stuck on their hair and attire, they were covered in dirt. It took her a moment to open her eyes. When she did, he didn't.
She cupped his cheeks and shook his head frantically. "Tsuna-san! Tsuna-san! Are you okay?!"
He felt dizzy being shaken like that. He opened his eyes, his vision was blurring. "Tsuna-san, look into my eyes!" he aimed his eyes at her. As soon as his vision was clear, seeing her, he felt his cheeks warmed. Either it was because of the moonlight above them or her flower hairpin or her brown eyes that he gazed into, but she looked mesmerizing, so beautiful. After few moments, he snapped. "Ah! What was that just now? You almost killed us."
"Sorry…" she looked at her foot a bit. He tilted his head to see, and noticed blood on it. "Wha… What happened to your foot?"
"I… accidentally stepped onto a sharp tree fracture. B-But I'm alright. I can still stand." she stood up, but he read her face. She winced in pain when her foot touched the ground. Eventually, she didn't manage to stand upright. Knowing that, he squatted, offered his back to her. She knew what it meant. "Hahi? I-It's really not a big deal, really."
"Your face told me the opposite. As a man, I won't let you walk with that foot. So, come on. Reborn will hit me if I let you walk."
After twenty seconds of quietness, knowing he insisted, she surrendered and let him carry her. When she was carried, she blushed the entire time. She couldn't help it. Despite the heartache, she was still in love with him. She didn't know if she should be happy, but his body was relaxingly warm. She circled her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. He blinked as he noticed, and turned around to see her. He flinched, realized how close his face was with hers. He could feel his cheek touched hers; red shade painted his cheeks.
"You can tell me to let go. It's just that… it's cold."
He looked away in embarrassment. "I-It's fine. Just don't choke me or yell at my ears."
He was warm, truly. Even though she realized he wouldn't respond to her feelings, she still adored him, anyway. But she was a tough young woman and wouldn't be faltered by jealousy or sadness. She knew she probably could never be this close to him again. She decided to smile and just be happy with the way things were at the moment.
Next afternoon came, all were back to Namimori, to the base. It was 8 hours left before his birthday party. He didn't have anything much to do, just lying on his bed while staring at the ceiling. He was recalling the time when he noticed her lies. There hadn't been any fox or animals there, he was sure. Her smile and words were doubtful, he was worried about her. He wondered why she was like that.
"I hope she's okay…" he mumbled.
A knock on his door snapped him out of his thought. He opened it, to see his crush. "Ne, Tsuna-kun, let's eat lunch outside."
He blushed. "E-Eh? M-Me? Why?"
"Everyone is busy preparing for tonight and Haru-chan is at her house, busy, too."
"A-All right. I'll fetch my coat and scarf."
There he was, sitting in front of Kyoko, watching her eating her pasta. How the sauce made smudge around her lips, it was cute to his eyes. He just left his food hanging around his fork and left the fork on his grip. He put it down. "Umm…" he muttered. "You have sauce on your face." he pointed where she had the sauce. As soon as she noticed this, she wiped it. "Thanks, Tsuna-kun. But you haven't touched your food. What's wrong?"
"N-Nothing's wrong. I'll eat it now." after a while, he finally ate it. She seemed pleased about this, she giggled at his behavior. After they were done eating, he asked a waiter the bill and paid their lunch. He noticed Kyoko looked at her watch, as if she had another plan. "Do you have something to do after this?" he asked.
"I'm going to help onii-chan preparing for your party. What about you?"
"Well, pretty much nothing."
"I see… ah! Haru-chan!" she waved at his back. He took a peek, and saw Haru alone. She looked at their direction as she was called. He blinked in confusion, seeing her eyes widened briefly. It was as if she was surprised by something, and judging by her face, not a pleasant one. However, she quickly masked this with her cheerful smile.
"Kyoko-chan! Tsuna-san!" she ran towards them. "Are you guys having lunch?"
He nodded hesitantly, still wandering with the previous thought. Kyoko stood up and carried her bag. "I should be going now. Haru-chan, you said you need to see him, right? Well, he's free. Bye, guys!" with a wave, Kyoko left the two.
"So…" Tsuna stood from his chair. "What do you need me for?"
Having heard this, she smiled. She grabbed his hand. "Come with me."
She dragged him to a cake shop she always went to with Kyoko. Tsuna himself was confused, sitting while looking at Haru's smiling face. Why did she bring him to eat cake? He would eat a cake at the party. Although his stomach was still ready for more, he was still wondering her motive.
A waiter brought him a cake. It was 10 centimeters in diameter and it had his face on top of the cake and Vongola emblem around the cake. It was well-detailed and made of frosting, especially the symbol. But what mesmerized him was the 'buon compleanno' words engraved just below his face. "Hey, did you ask this café to make a special design?" of course, it was an obvious question, but he was itching to ask.
She shook her head. "I made it."
"EEEHH! R-Really?!"
Satisfied by his reaction, she beamed. "The owner of this café is my parents' old friend. They let me borrowed their kitchen. I don't have enough kitchenware to make this kind of cake, so I borrowed theirs."
"But to make Vongola's emblem this detailed… wow, you're amazing. Can I eat this?"
"Of course! I made it just for you!"
With eagerness, he took a bite. The presentation was stunning, the taste was beyond any sweets he had ever tasted. He froze as he had those pleasant feelings. He flinched, realizing the touch of her hands that held his left hand, and her smile.
"Buon compleanno! Spero ti sarà un grande leader. Mi auguro felicità. Ti amo tanta, cari Tsuna-san!" [1]
His eyes widened, and couldn't stop the sudden heat on his face. Seconds had passed; he was still staring at her radiating smile wide-eyed and flushed cheeks. He put the fork down and palmed his face in embarrassment.
"W-What's wrong? Did I say it wrong?"
"N-No, it was good. But…" he looked at her. "You really learned that just for this?"
She nodded. "For you, actually." his face turned redder. He lowered his head, trying to hide his terribly red face. "T-Thanks…"
After few moments of silence, he took a peek at her. "Well… I guess I have to reply you." he held both of her hands, saying, "Grazie per essere stato con me per tutto questo tempo. Anche io ti amo, cari Haru." [2]
She felt her cheeks warm, she stared at him wide-eyed. Although she knew he meant love as a friend, she couldn't help but to be happy hearing that from him, even if the meaning wasn't what she hoped for. Living this moment only filled her with warmth. Tears broke from her eyes, much to his worry.
"S-Sorry! Did I do something wrong?"
She shook her head, eyeing on their hands with smile. She didn't speak, her tears continued flowing endlessly. He didn't know how to react if a woman cried before him. All he knew what to do was only one. He couldn't comfort her, but he lent her his blue scarf, putting it around her neck. Afterwards, he wiped the tears with his finger. She twitched and looked at him wide-eyed. He looked disturbed yet worried. She felt his concern around her through form of scarf, and every kind of concern he gave her.
From widened eyes, it became half-lidded as tears still stuck on her lower eyelid. It hurt her in many ways, but it also gave her happiness of receiving an affection he had never given her. She would leave him and not coming back. If this was a last moment with him, it just saddened her more, but she was also glad.
Unaware by them, they were being watched. Several men with black suits watched them as if they were a target.
The dawn reached the day. He stood in front of her front door with her. "Thank you for walking me home." she said. To his surprise, she hugged him. Usually, he would just push her away, but this time, he couldn't.
"Happy 24th birthday, dear Tsuna-san." her eyes were closed, tenderness of pink tinted her cheeks, she was smiling. Again, the heat shaded his face to red. "Feel free to push me." she whispered. However this time, it was the opposite. He returned her hug in embarrassment. No one spoke, but it wasn't an awkward moment. It was as though both wanted to be plunged into each other's touch and warm. It was enough for both. He wasn't sure why, but all of the sudden, he liked it.
He couldn't deny the fact he felt happiness, and yet beneath that, he was also saddened. He didn't know what he felt or what his intuition tried to say. He disregarded whatever negative emotion that hit him and instead, he just wanted to feel her touch—and if it could also make her stop crying.
Afterwards, they peeled away. Now, it became an awkward moment for him. He couldn't meet her face, his face was still tinted with red. He scratched his nape. "Well… I guess I'll see you later."
"Yeah…" she whispered. As he walked away from her house, she waved him goodbye. She went in her empty house and went to her room where her luggage was already prepared. She took a letter on her desk and gently brushed her fingers against it with meek smile. And yet, her smile and the tears that broke out contradicted her feelings, but representing both her happiness and sadness.
Everyone was there, in the underground base, cheering for him. It was lively as ever, but his mind wasn't there. He looked around, searching for one person, but she wasn't seen. The party had been ongoing for an hour. It was unusual for Haru to be late. He stopped waiting and headed to the gate to fetch her. Somewhere near there, he spotted Bianchi with a birthday present and a letter.
"Ah, Bianchi. Where's Haru? She hasn't arrived yet." he approached her, and then stopped as he noticed oddness. How she looked at him emphatically, how she remained silent as if meant no possible harm to him, he didn't like all of it one bit. "…What's wrong?"
She handed him the present. He unwrapped it, only to see a golden pendant and be taken aback seeing the picture of him and his friends together when they were teen. "It's from her," he flinched hearing that. She handed him the letter. He read it. He didn't like it one bit. He crumpled the letter, gripping it firmly.
He didn't want to believe what he just read. It was an utter nonsense to him, he wouldn't accept that. His face was pale as he stared at the letter wide-eyed. How could she say goodbye without telling him? How could she give him his present not in person?
How could she leave him, after what they had been through this afternoon?
He admitted he started to see Haru as an individual that was worth to be seen and treated equally. He started wanting for her presence around him. His perspective about her started changing, he felt that. But after all of that had happened she left him. He gripped both the pendant and letter firmly, gritting his teeth. He wouldn't let her leave him like that. He ran towards the gate.
"Hold on, Tsuna! Her plane is leaving soon!"
"As if I'm going to let her leave without telling me! Worst, she doesn't have protection!"
Outside, he spotted Romario with Dino's subordinates. He asked him to lend Dino's car for a while. Romario, without having a chance to ask, bewildered as he saw Tsuna hurriedly drove away.
He was both worried that she didn't have any protection, and she left him without his knowing. After all she had been through with him and everyone for ten years, he wouldn't let her get away, even if it was to pursue her dream. He would make reason with her to stay, he would say to her he would use his connection to help her. He would do anything to make her stay.
He arrived at the airport, looking at a possible plane. He read all of the planes' departure time, what airlines, to what country. After doing the analysis and thankfully due to his hyper intuition, he spotted her plane quickly. However when he saw through the big glass window, it was already on the leave. He ran towards the glass window.
It was indeed her plane as Haru was staring at the airport through the small plane window mirthlessly. She started to regret her choice. Looking at the airport reminded her of Japan, of him. But what could she do? Nothing. She knew she had to toughen up. She slapped her cheeks. "Come on, Haru. Stay strong. Besides… you could see him in your free time… right?" she smiled meekly, trying to stay positive. Although it was almost impossible to see him again, she believed in miracle. This may not be a forever goodbye, she forced that thought bitterly.
"Excuse me," a man beside her seat spoke. "Are you a friend of Sawada Tsunayoshi?"
"Yes."
"So, it's Sawada Tsunayoshi, the boss of Vongola Family, then. Good." he grabbed her arms firmly, much to her dismay. Her eyes widened in horror as the man uncovered what was inside his coat.
Explosion made tremor.
Tsuna stopped. He fell on his knees. The note and pendant fell. Ignoring the screams and panic around the airport, he stared at the exploding plane wide-eyed. The plane exploded dreadfully. The fire dominated it, there was no one that got out. No single soul in that plane survived, including his heart that died on that very moment. He just lost her. He just saw the final second of a friend before his eyes.
~A year later~
"Good morning."
Fuuta and Reborn took a peek from the living room. Seeing it was Gokudera, they approached him. "Is juudaime here? The plane to Italy will be leaving soon."
"Reborn nii-chan!" a little girl ran down the stairs. "Did you see papa?"
"He's probably at the graveyard."
"Okay! Thanks!"
"Ah! Haru!" Fuuta called. The girl with dark brown eyes and brown ponytail hair turned around. "You're only six. It's not safe to go alone. Let's just wait for Tsuna-nii, okay?"
"I don't want to! It's boring here without papa!" she rebelled and ran outside.
Fuuta just sighed seeing her behavior. He couldn't deny there had been no danger around, but she was only six.
"His daughter… she really looks like Haru, doesn't she?" Gokudera stared at the front door.
"It can't be helped. That idiotic student of mine… he's trying to atone for his mistake."
"Still… to adopt a child that happens to look exactly like her, to think such child exists… what are the odds?" Gokudera mumbled.
"You'll only break your brain thinking about it. For now, we can only see it as a miracle."
The spring was always so relaxing. It wasn't too hot or too cold, the warmth spring gave to all life was something to cherish, something to enjoy with our loved one. Sitting outside just to enjoy the breeze that brought life after the cold winter, it would be more relaxing if someone was there beside him, if the spring herself was beside him. He sat and leaned against a sakura tree, looking up at the pink petals that danced around the breeze.
"Hey… how are you, Haru?" he spoke. The sakura tree behind him always reminded him of her, as if he was talking to her. It soothed him, somehow. "I bet you're fine up there, huh. I'm fine, though. Everyone's fine, too." he paused. "You know, sitting here always reminds me of you. At times, it's painful, but it's the only thing that keeps me with you."
He paused for a moment. "The entire Vongola's affiliation… forced me to get married and have an offspring to inherit the Vongola. But I refused. I don't know why, but ever since you died, I don't like being in a relationship… It scares me… I don't even want to marry Kyoko-chan, although everyone had forced me to. Seeing her face, it reminds me of you, and it always rips me apart."
He sighed deeply. He smiled in delight. "But I adopted a daughter. Miraculously, she's a spitting image of you, has a beautiful whorl of hair and eyes like yours. She's healthy and as cheerful as you were. She's an angel."
He looked down and fell silent for quite a time. He laughed bitterly. "…Haha… who would've thought… you had a huge impact on my life?"
He gripped his own face and smiled bitterly as tears were shed. "I've made a mistake… and you had to pay the price…"
He let his grip go, leaning his head against the tree and sighed deeply again, as if trying to keep calm. "My business in Japan has finished. I'll go back to Italy soon. I wish I can stay here forever… but I have to move on… right?"
He looked down to his left and placed his hand onto a stone with her name engraved mournfully, caressing the name gently. "…I'll always remember you."
"Papa!" the little girl ran to him and hugged him. "Come on! We're leaving!"
He patted her head and kissed her forehead. She stood up and looked at the engraved name. "Miura… Haru? She has the same name. Who is she?"
Tsuna stood up and offered his hand to her. "I'll tell you one day."
His daughter merrily accepted his hand. As he was walking away from the grave, he looked at Haru's tombstone with a smile for the last time.
"Goodbye, my friend."
Translation:
[1] "Happy birthday! I hope you will be a great leader. I wish you happiness. I love you so much, dear Tsuna-san!"
[2] "Thank you for being with me this whole time. I love you, too, dear Haru."
.
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This is like a different version of 'too late to get her', I guess. I was fed-up when I came up with this story. I wanted to tell a story of what he would lose if he kept looking at Kyoko. I guess I was so frustrated seeing Tsukyo.
I don't know if this is pretty realistic to you or not. I was trying to be as realistic as possible, using the 'what if…?' or 'if only…' method. I suddenly came up with this plot when I heard a song from Earlyrise, "old friend". Maybe you know that song? I listened to the acoustic version and suddenly came up with this. I love the acoustic and rock version, though. It's one of the most beautiful and saddest songs I've ever listened.