Authors Note: This is a pretty much a drabble written down one day when DA2 made me feel. I definitely don't feel like this is one of my best stories so no critic please.

The title is a David Grey song that I believe suits the story/the event that happens after.

It's my first finished Dragon Age story though; over the past year I've been deeply in the DA fandom so I haven't updated any of my Avengers stuff so if any readers of my other stories I apologize.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age or any of the characters

The room was lit by a small fire that flickered and waned, threatening to go out. Two men were in the room; neither wore their usual torn and tattered battle robes, instead they wore expensive silk nightclothes. One sat at a desk writing with complete focus and the other man, the dark haired one, looked annoyed as he lounged on the king sized bed, fidgeting with his hair and anything else his fingers could reach.
"I was talking to Isabella today-" the darker haired man was cut off.
"Did you learn another rude joke today?" The blond one said dryly without looking up for his work.
"Well I did, but that wasn't what I was going to say, Anders." Frey Hawke went silent after that statement and Anders had to look up from his manifesto to make sure the usually noisy man was still there. He was, and the grown man had a childish pout on his face. Frey's bright green eyes were fixated on Anders with a intensity that kept his focus away from the parchment; it was obvious to Anders he wasn't going to get peace until after a conversation.
"Fine, what did you talk to Isabella about, love?" The blond man succumbed, though his fingers still inched to return to the final pages of his manifesto.
The dark haired man gave a cheeky grin, "We had an actually meaningful conversation today."
"Really? No innuendo or jokes? I never thought the two of you would ever get beyond that." Anders teased lightly with a small strained smile gracing his lips. Things have been difficult lately; light conversations were rare from Justice's impatience and Hawke being convinced something was being kept from him.
Frey seemed to be pleased with what he got since he gave a wide, real smile in return; he had the ability to ignore problems or more like take a break from issues. "She offered me a place on her ship."
"Did she?" Frey and Isabella certainly were close; Anders wasn't at all surprised that she wanted to keep him.
"Yeah, she said she needed some people that wouldn't stab her in the back. Would you believe that? Isabella finds ME trustworthy." Hawke still had that smile on his face. Anders put that smile to memory since he imagined he wouldn't see one after Frey the plan was carried through; what he did. All he would have is memories of times like these.
"Do you want to join her crew?" It was good Hawke had other options; he would probably need them. Anders attempted to stop the emptiness growing in his chest as his thoughts grew more negative. When the plan was carried out it was best for Frey to leave. It was best for him. Anders was glad Justice was silent and content for the time; if the spirit didn't honour his wishes of tonight being to himself he would be telling Anders that Hawke was still useful, that he could be used for something more important than an outlet for Ander's affections.
"Maybe, Isabella makes out being a pirate as the most amazing job ever," Frey lost focus as he started to imagine a life of pillaging and treasure-hunting on a large boat.
"Maybe she wants someone to make ice to cool her grog." Anders attempted to keep it lighthearted; he didn't want to worry Frey or trigger another argument. Of course that wasn't the only reasons, in a selfish way, he wanted to steal as many of these moments as he could.
"Well, you've been invited too so the both of us could be Isabella's ice bitches."
"I've been invited?" Anders wasn't surprised; Isabella and everyone else could see that Frey wouldn't leave him. His devotion was alike to Mabari.
"Isabella told me she'll find something you could do. Maybe you could catch rats in the lower part of the ship just like the cats you are so fond of," Frey teased, but the humour in his voice didn't show in his eyes as if he seemed feel something was off.
"You would have to leave Kirkwall to become a pirate; would you be able to leave?" Anders asked with interest trying to destruct the larger man.
"I have left many homes, Anders. All of the towns we had to leave because people suspected we were mages and Lothering; I could add Kirkwall to the list without much thought. It is just full of memories; both negative and positive. I would like to start anew or perhaps I just never want to settle." The grin faded of his lover's face and turned into a thoughtful frown as the dark haired man had a rare moment of seriousness.
"Do you regret coming to Kirkwall?" Anders asked with a slight bit of hurt welling up in his chest; did Hawke regret meeting him? Frey's life would have been safer without him in it or perhaps not; Hawke was still an apostate and Ander's easily could imagine Fenris and Frey working it out if Anders never stepped in between.
"Sometimes; it is because of this place I lost Carver to the Wardens and Mom to a blood Mage. But I also met many good people and changed many people's lives. I have made friends and I met you." Frey set his calloused hand upon one of Ander's, "And I'm also rich. A few sovereigns and I could make any rude lowtowner dance like a monkey for my amusement." Frey gave a soft laugh at the thought and then they settled into a comfortable silence while staring into each other's eyes. Frey seemed content rather than conserved; the older man succeeded in his plan to distract.
The green eyes seemed to ask for something further, but Anders couldn't, he had to finish his manifesto today. So he attempted to disswade Frey once again.
"As a pirate you'll be able to go everywhere and see everything. Is that what you want in life Frey?" Anders questioned.
"We all can't be like you Anders, not all of us have the live goal to start a revolution," Hawke said softly and in a teasing manner, but Anders didn't take it that way.
"There are so many wrongs done to us mages and there is a need of people with my goals. If only if you saw the nessess-" Frey placed a hand across Anders mouth cutting the blonde Mage off in mid word.
"Please, not tonight, love." No matter how much Anders wanted to talk about his cause he stopped since Frey's tone suggested that he was absolutely done with the topic for the day and Anders learned years ago when he reached this point, carrying on with topic never ended well. Anders remembered the time in which Frey got so angry he set his desk and a pile of manifesto pages on fire and wouldn't talk to Anders for days. Since he no longer had days, he couldn't afford to push Hawke to that. Not today.
"What do you want to see?" Anders asked bringing the conversation back to travel; a neutral topic that didn't get either of them frustrated with the other.
"Everything; I want to go to the Tevinter imperium, Orlais, Antiva- anywhere that isn't here." Hawke's previous irritation was forgotten as his eyes lit up.
"Tevinter? Fenris wouldn't be very happy about that." Anders gave a small smile; the elf would aggressively accuse Frey of becoming a Maleficar when he returned and maybe attempt take Anders's heart for being a bad influence on the younger Mage. He doubted Fenris would ever use his lyrium trick on Frey.
"I want to see if ALL the magisters practice blood magic; then maybe I would understand why Fenris bitches so much. Then maybe I'll set a few of the bad magisters on fire so Fenris would still talk to me."
"You will have to set more than a few on fire to appease him." Anders laughed; it was easy to just be Anders with Frey, he wondered if the green eye Mage would find another person to be like this with after he was gone. Anders really hoped it wouldn't be Fenris. He didn't want the elf to poison Frey with his hate.
"Where would you want to go?" Anders didn't answer and he looked away from the piercing emerald of his lover's eyes. The question was asked again, "Where would you like to go, love?" This time it came out quieter. A rough and calloused hand lifted his head to meet those eyes once again.
"Please," the usually sarcastic man couldn't keep the strain from his voice "Humour me."
Anders couldn't deny him especially, since the crack in his partner's re-enforced mask, "I suppose I would like to go to Tevinter too; just to see what turned Fenris into the bastard he is today." Could Hawke have picked up on his plans? Was he that transparent? Frey had been suspecting something was being hidden from him.
"And it would be nice to go somewhere where magic is accepted." No, Frey couldn't have learned of his plans; Frey would have stopped him, his need to constantly save the day will never shut off, not even for him.
"He really isn't that bad when the topic of the conversation isn't mages," Maybe Fenris would help Hawke once the plan took effect; it sickened Anders with petty jealousy, but Fenris obviously still had unresolved feelings for Frey from their night more than three years ago.
"Hurlocks could be not that bad when you get to know them over drinks," Anders said sarcastically trying to use Frey's usual way of hiding things against him.
"You never know. I never heard of any Gray Wardens having tea with darkspawn," Frey answered with a slight smirk. "Maybe the blight would have never happened if everyone just sat down for a nice get together." Hawke often seemed so carefree; helping people, slaying drakelings, drinking himself into being intolerable, it was all done on a whim; Anders always envied him for that; it was that sort if behaviour that won Anders over along with the whole city. People wanted to be able to ignore things and live by the hour. He wondered if Frey would ever grow out of that or if he would ever change.
"I don't think that would have stopped the blight; those assholes would probably eat all the biscuits." Anders smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
Frey gave another soft grin and he spoke no more. Anders went back to his writing and managed to write down one word before Hawke's hand settled on his shoulder. It was soon followed by the other then before long Frey's whole chest was pressed to his back and his strong arms wrapped were around his neck. "Hawke, I need to get th-"
"Shh." Frey's seemed to go to cover his mouth, but with the man being behind him it landed on his nose first. "The revolution won't happen tonight." Anders eyes watered when he realized that yes, it would happen tomorrow. It was the last night before that. "You can do what you wanttonight, love," Anders took Frey's hand in his, "So stop working on that boring old thing," a tear slipped free. "And we can pretend that we're not burdened," Hawke pressed his lips to Anders's head. "We can pretend that we're free." Anders turned around to face Frey's green eyes. Frey's voice cracked with pain Anders had only heard in his lover's voice since Leandra's death as he spoke. He knew what was going to happen or a least he felt a shift in Anders behaviour and saw that something was changing. The blond man hated it. He was causing this. "And we can pretend everything is fine." For the last time, Anders thought to himself and for the first time, he though of dying. He planned to die to progress the revolution, but he thought of it in a different way. He was leaving Frey. He was going to be hurt and alone and it would be his fault. He would be another one name on the long list of people who left Hawke. Malcolm. Bethany. Carver. He couldn't stop the tears this time and if Frey noticed it, he didn't say a word. Fenris. Leandra and... Anders.
Anders arose from his chair, wrapped his arms around Frey's middle and gave him a soft kiss in which was returned quickly and passionately.
Frey Hawke was the one bright light in Kirkwall and Anders was selfish to keep him, but at that moment, he didn't care.
Hawke and others just like him didn't deserve to be hunted for being a Mage. Frey was one of his reasons for this dire action. All the pain and death that was planned for tomorrow would force his lover to fight and create a better world for all to live in; for Frey Hawke to live in.
Anders would give his life for that.