Wait a Second!
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings. But I do own my coffee mug… my precioussss!
Plot summery: Something bizarre happened in the middle of the night… Poor Legolas!
The Fellowship of the Ring had just left Lothlorien and were rowing down the Anduin river. It was growing late, so they stopped for the night. After pulling the boats out of the water they lit a small fire and Legolas kept first watch.
As he sat and looked up at the sky he got a strange feeling… he couldn't explain it. In his stomach he felt a tingling, burning sensation and for the first time in his life, nauseous. He said nothing when Boromir awoke to relieve him from his watch, and went to sleep. It was then he had another first, he actually slept on his side, his back towards the Fellowship.
The next morning Legolas was not the first one up, which was highly uncharacteristic of him. Aragorn went over to his friend to wake him.
"Legolas! Legolas!" he shouted to the elf's back. "Get up!"
Legolas rolled over with a groan and Aragorn gasped in shock.
"Legolas… your… your…" Aragorn stuttered, pointing to his friends midriff.
"What is it Aragorn?" Legolas asked.
"Your… your…"
Legolas looked down and to his utter horror and amazement, his stomach was huge. Now, the entire Fellowship was looking over at the shocked elf and ranger, wondering what was wrong and why they were looking at Legolas stomach.
"You look seven months pregnant," Aragorn exclaimed.
The entire Fellowship broke into a chorus of, "What!" They all rushed over and gathered round the elf who was now passed out on the ground.
Aragorn commanded that all stand back and give him room to breathe. After shaking him a bit, Legolas was revived and immediately said, "I'm starving. I really want fish and lembas. With milk and honey."
Pippin gave a disgusted face and said, "Even I wouldn't eat that."
"But Legolas, we don't have any fish…" Aragorn began to say but was cut off by Legolas grabbing his friend's shirt.
"You don't understand! I WANT FISH AND LEMBAS!" Legolas exclaimed.
Everyone save Aragorn who was being tightly held, stepped back from Legolas with horrified and amused looks on their faces.
"I guess we could do some fishing, but we really must keep going soon otherwise," Aragorn began to speak again but yet again was cut off.
"I don't care. I want fish and lembas NOW!" Legolas reiterated.
"Very well!" Aragorn said. He was then released and immediately he and Boromir began fishing. Legolas was cranky and everyone there knew, you do not mess around with a pregnant woman… or elven man that seemed and acted pregnant… it was all too strange, but there was no time for musing. He wanted fish and lembas, and there was nothing they could do but accommodate as best they could.
After Legolas consumed three fish and one entire wafer of lembas they told him he could simply get no more and had to get in the boat. With great difficulty he stood up with the help of Aragorn and Boromir and Gimli and got in.
As they rowed down the Anduin, everyone wondered what on earth was going on. Legolas… pregnant… impossible in every way!
A/N: The chapters in this story will be all sorts of crazy lengths… I know, I know, this sounds really weird, but bear with me. If you thought it amusing, funny, or whatever, just send a review! I like reviews! Almost as much as caffeine! YAY! But I hate flames. So no flames.