Hi guys ! Well, this is a bit old one-shot story of mine, but I wanted to give a try in English. To be honest, I think it looks better in English than in French, so I hope you'll enjoy it =3. Thanks to makura moderski for the proofreading ! You're the best, my friend ;-). PLEASE, REVIEW AT THE END GUYS, IT WOULD BE AWESOME 8).
Anime/manga: Evangelion
Auteur: Posei
Genre: Romance/Drama.
Couples: Shinji X Kaworu, so shonen-ai. If you don't like it, then click on the cute little cross at the top right of the window =3.
Disclaimer : None of the characters belongs to me, the same for the universe of Evangelion. They all belong to Sadamoto Yoshiyuki.
"And he was smiling..."
I was floating. Floating in something strange. An orange liquid. This liquid... This scent... The scent of blood ! I knew this fluid ! LCL ! I was in an Entry Plug, my Entry Plug ! But what was I doing in Eva-01? I remembered not heading back home to Misato's and staying to sleep at Kaworu's, the Fifth Child...
"Shinji... Do it..."
This voice... it was his ! It was Kaworu ! I saw him. He was there, in front of me. He was smiling. I loved this smile very much. It was tender, it was gentle. And his eyes... They were red, red like blood, and yet I wasn't afraid of them. I loved them too. His strangely gray-tinted hair must have been weird to the others' regards, but I thought it suited him well. When I was looking at him, I told myself he was perfect, and that next to him I was looking like someone pretty common. Ikari Shinji, Eva-01's pilot, yet so banal...
While talking about my Eva, what on Earth was I doing in it, and why was Kaworu prisoner of this creature's purple iron fist? Suddenly, like a lightning bolt, a horrible feeling went through me, and with it came the answer to my question. He was still smiling.
"No, KAWORU!"
I barely had the time to scream as the point of no return had already been reached. Eva-01, my Eva, had already squeezed the red eyed boy's delicate body to the extreme, squashing it, while his head, still intact, was falling into the void...
I abruptly opened my eyes, and my gaze immediately met the two rubies of the Fifth Child's eyes. I couldn't see myself in their reflection, but the warm I felt informed me I was turning red. I just couldn't help it. From the first look he gave at me, I had forthwith felt something strange. A weird feeling. Nothing like my usual shyness. And since he had told me he loved me, it wasn't getting any better. I had been very confused at first, for no one but my mother had ever said this to me, but I was happy at the same time. Anyway, Kaworu was watching me with this undying smile on his lips, leaning upon an elbow.
"Hello, Shinji," he softly said to me.
"Hello," I answered, looking away.
"Have you had a good night? You seem all troubled!" he shouted out, causing me to blush even more.
"Yeah yeah, but I had an odd dream... I was in my Eva and... you were here too..."
"Oh !" he exclaimed, his smile widening. "And what was going on?"
"Well... I don't remember," I apologized.
The truth was I didn't dare to tell him about this dream. I preferred to keep it to myself, as if telling it could have made this terrible vision real. Deep inside, I was feeling stupid. There was no reason for Kaworu to die after all, especially not by my Evangelion's hands. By my hands...
"Let's get dressed ! A new day is waiting for us !" I exclaimed.
The Fifth Child nodded. The day started like a dream... and ended up a nightmare.
"No ! This isn't true! Kaworu can't be an Angel !" I screamed till my voice cracked.
It was inevitably a lie. Impossible. Kaworu couldn't be an Angel! An Angel was an enemy, an Angel was something monstrous, an Angel couldn't have made me feel so good, couldn't have told me he loved me...
"It is true, Shinji. This boy is an Angel," Misato stated.
I clenched my fists so hard that my fingers beneath my Plug Suit must have been turning pale. I felt anger overflowing within me, overflowing my mind and my whole being. He had betrayed me ! Betrayed me just like my father, this disgusting guy who wasn't able to love his son !
Aboard Eva-01, I was going down into Central Dogma at a great speed, fuming. Eva-02, Asuka's, of which Kaworu had taken control, finally came into my view, and beside it, floating in the void, was that boy, that Angel, that traitor...
"How could you?! You've betrayed me! You've betrayed my feelings just like my father!" I yelled.
And he was still smiling... A fight broke out between Eva-02 and I, and a blow which would have affected a normal human was stopped a few inches from Kaworu. He explained to me the true nature of an A. T. Field, this barrier protecting the Angels, but also the Evas, but all this didn't matter to me.
"Sorry, Asuka," I apologized.
Then, letting my rage out, I overpowered Eva-02, and the red giant fell down as we arrived into an only strange room where a hideous creature was crucified. Undoubtedly another Angel captured by the NERV, but it wasn't important too. I snatched Kaworu, making him prisoner of Eva-01's iron grip.
"I thank you, Shinji. I've wished you would destroy Eva-02, or I would have had to live in pretty sad company..."
"But why? Kaworu?" I weakly asked, tears stinging my eyes.
"Because I was fated to eternal life, while humanity had to be destroyed, but this won't occur. I'm going to die. To be or not to be doesn't make a real difference for me. Death may be the only and unique liberty..."
"Why? How? I don't understand why you're saying that, Kaworu..."
"These are my last words. Get rid of me now, please. If you don't do it... then you'll die. Among the two of us, one must be saved, and this one will have a future. I don't want you to be deprived of it...
He seemed to think a few moments and then went on, while my heart was about to explode.
"You all need a future. Thank you, Shinji. I'm glad I've met you," he finished.
Then silence fell. And tears flowed. My hands refused to move. I couldn't do that, it wasn't possible. There had to be another option. I couldn't, and didn't want to. I was going to let go of him, when a thought crossed my mind. If I didn't do it, then everybody would die. Misato, Asuka, Rei... I couldn't sacrifice them like that. A solution was possible. Raising my head like a robot, I activated the control command, and Kaworu's body, the Fifth Child, the Angel was crushed like a twig.
By the waterside. At the exact place of our first encounter. At the very place where, with a single look, you pierced my heart without me even noticing it. You are haunting me, Kaworu. Since you're gone, I don't stop thinking of you, of what we could have done if you hadn't been an Angel. Still now, I don't manage to realize you weren't human... Maybe you were so perfect because of this ? Or maybe not... You're not here to answer this question anymore, and in my ears the Ode to Joy doesn't stop echoing, as if by listening to it I was able to hear you singing it again.
My nightmare eventually became real. I killed you with my own hands. You, the one who loved me, and yet was my enemy... Finally, you were right. It's easy to break a heart, and mine is in pieces now, but still...
"I love you too," I whispered, and the wind swept away my words.