It had all happened so fast. The sound of the horns as the vehicle swerved to avoid hitting on an oncoming truck, the second horn blaring from behind them as another truck slammed into the back of their vehicle. It had all happened so fast and somehow, amidst all of the turmoil, Dean still was able to call out to the most important person inside that vehicle as he hung upside down, his head pressed against the squashed roof of the small car.
Yelling didn't help as he found it hard to breathe, thinking about the pounding sensation inside his chest. Dean knew he was hurt, he knew that his partner was hurt as well as he called out to him. Every moment was terrifying and every minute that passed worried him. He screamed more, waiting for the help that wouldn't come for another twenty minutes. The same help that would leave Castiel hanging upside down as well for another forty minutes before his body could be removed from the vehicle safely.
Pain stricken and infuriated, Dean forced himself to stay awake through his pain, seeing the blood on Castiel's forehead out of the corner of his eye. Maybe if he had avoided the truck and swerved the other way, maybe if he had been driving slower amongst the busy traffic in the snowy weather. He didn't know if any of that would have helped, but he couldn't stop himself from feeling the guilt inside himself.
It had only been ten weeks since the both of them had stood inside a church and been married in the eyes of God. Only ten weeks since they had vowed to love each other forever. Within a split second, all of which they had built together had been stripped away. Each passing moment that he hung there, fighting himself from blacking out, Dean was terrified that he had just lost the love of his life. All he could think about was the odd wedding they had shared together and then running away before security could catch them illegally hosting the very, very small service.
As the workers arrived on scene, Dean couldn't fight it anymore. He couldn't help it as he fell into an unconscious state, his hand reaching over to take hold of Castiel's. Had he done something wrong when he had swerved? He thought they had been alright, but they hadn't. Another truck had come from behind and struck their vehicle by surprise. And as he fell unconscious, he could hear the voices from outside the vehicle calling out to him.
HOURS LATER.
EAST VIEW HOSPITAL.
It was unclear how much time had passed when Dean came to. He could feel the growing shadow on his face when he opened his eyes. There were bright lights in his face and he felt horrified as he flung up in his bed, unsure of where he was. He recalled the accident instantly, his hands grabbing onto the rails of the bed, "CASTIEL!" he cried out, remembering the blank look on his husband's face.
A woman in a doctor's uniform was running into the room suddenly as the beeping on his heart monitor sped up. He took in shaky breaths, looking to the doctor, "Where am I? What's happened? Where's my husband?" the questions came out quicker than expected and the doctor nodded her head, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder, "No, no, tell me where Castiel is!" he said, his voice demanding.
Two nurses later and a needle to the arm, Dean was looking to them with a more sane expression. He was worried about what they were going to say; terrified that Castiel was dead. No, he wouldn't accept it until they showed him. He wanted proof, something, anything. He couldn't take the mere thought he'd just lost the love of his life. No, not right after everything had gone so perfectly, "Mr. Winchester," the female doctor began, "My name is Dr. Milton. You were in a severe car accident, but you are fine."
Dean could remember the accident fine, that wasn't what he wanted to know, "What..." he was able to get one word out, feeling how calm his body felt. As he opened his mouth to continue the question, he felt his body succumb to the drug he had fed through his arm, "Hap..pened.." he couldn't speak properly. Dean's eyes narrowed as he looked towards Miss Milton and he felt his body wrench tightly, even though it was relaxed.
"Your husband, Castiel?" Dean nodded his head very slowly, "He suffered a severe head contusion. After closer examination, we discovered he fractured his skull. He's already out of surgery, but he has not woken up as of yet," Dean was trying to take in everything he was being told, but as the doctor continued to talk about Castiel's condition, he couldn't listen. Dean was terrified. Everything he had known before had just changed in a matter of seconds.
Maybe he was insane and maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought it was. Dean knew that he needed to take in a few breaths, that he just needed to relax. How was he supposed to relax when Castiel was asleep somewhere? He was in a coma and he was left with nothing but the shattered pieces of himself. He wanted to sit next to Castiel's bed and hold his hand, he wanted to be there all the way. That was all he wanted, but he was stuck in a hospital bed where a doctor was dictating to him everything that had happened.
Dean didn't want to hear about contusions, he didn't want to hear about the diagnosis. He wanted none of it, "Shtop," he slurred out, "Sjust shtop.. shplease," he mumbled out. Dr. Milton looked at him, confused for a moment. Then she noticed his watering eyes and nodded her head, closing her mouth. She waited, watching as the man before her laid there and began to slowly accept everything he had been told, "Shtake me," he slurred out, trying to keep his sounds solid.
Dr. Milton nodded, "Let me get you a wheelchair," Dean was about to protest, but the doctor held up her hand, "We just administered you with a relaxant. You will not be able to stand properly on your own for a little while. Humour me, Mr. Winchester."
Dean grumbled through his relaxed mouth, "Shean."
She looked towards Dean, raising an eyebrow, "Pardon me?" she asked, unsure of what he had just said.
He rolled his eyes, "Shdean!" he said, attempting to be more prominent.
Dr. Milton got it this time and smiled, "Alright, Dean. I'll be right back with your wheelchair and then I will proceed to bring you to Castiel's room," he nodded his head, looking towards the ceiling once the female doctor was gone. He didn't like hospitals, they freaked him out. He found the people in them to be tiring and frustrating; but all that mattered was that he got to see Castiel. That was what he wanted and he was willing to sit in a wheelchair for the chance to see him.
The lingering question still remained on whether or not it was his fault and it terrified him. What if it was his fault? What if everything that had happened was because he swerved and then they were hit from behind? He took in a shaky breath, feeling his heart rate increase slightly. But he took in a deep breath, evening himself out. He needed to remain calm or the doctor was going to forbid him from seeing Castiel most likely... and he really didn't want that.
The doctor returned with a wheelchair and Dean was helped into it by another nurse. He felt uncomfortable in the old thing as he was wheeled out of his room, an IV still hooked to his arm. He was taken down the hall and to a different room. In all honesty, he was shocked they were so close together if Castiel was in such serious condition. He felt his breath hitch as he was wheeled into the room, feeling his heart beating against his chest at an uncomfortable pace.
He placed a hand to his chest, grabbing hold of the hospital garment he wore. Castiel wasn't awake. He could see his eyes moving faintly beneath his eyelids. Dr. Milton wheeled him right up next to his husband's bed. Dean reached forward lazily, unable to help his current condition. His hand took hold of Castiel's lightly and he leaned forward, dropping his head to Castiel's bed. He didn't want to feel lazy. He wanted to be awake so he could kiss his husband's forehead.
Dean choked back a soft cry, licking his dry lips as he looked to Castiel's hand. He stroked it gently, looking to the ring on his finger that remained there. He was glad it had remained intact. Part of him had worried that it might have to be removed because of swelling or something. He didn't know, but he was glad it was alright. He gently pushed his index finger against it, moving the ring around Castiel's finger, "I made a vow, you know," he muttered out, glad to hear his normal voice.
Dr. Milton stepped back and out of the room, realizing that Dean would like privacy with the comatose man, "I vowed that I would never forget that this was a once in a lifetime love," he whispered, "This life.. this life we live together," he closed his eyes, gripping Castiel's hand carefully, "You changed my life forever. I won't leave your side, I promise you," he said, inching forward so he could kiss the tips of Castiel's fingers. His face against the hospital blankets was not comforting, but he didn't feel strong enough to lift his head up properly just yet, "Please, don't give up."
The next day came hard and fast as Dean laid in his hospital. Dr. Milton was in his room, a dreary look on her face. It worried him as he sat up, in pain. He didn't care as he looked to her, he just wanted to know what had happened, immediately fearing the worst, "Dean," she said, standing at the foot of his bed, her hands at her sides, "About your husband, Castiel," she continued, her voice slightly. Dean was terrified. This was not what he wanted.
"What is it?"
"The damage to his head is too extensive. After careful observation and the surgery I explained previously," yes, she was talking about the one he had been told while half awake, "He's going to be airlifted to the university hospital. It's ab-"
"You're sending him two hundred and thirty kilometers away from me?" Dean snapped, "Are you insane? When is he leaving? Tell me!" he said, hearing the monitor beeps growing faster as he gripped the edge of the bed.
"Please, Dean. I need you to stay calm. Castiel is going to receive the best health care there. He stands a better fighting chance there," Dr. Milton said, stepping around to the side of Dean's bed. He didn't understand. No, this wasn't right. He couldn't leave Castiel's side.
"I need a phone."
"May I ask what for?"
Dean shot a look at her, a look that could kill if it wanted to, "I would like the phone I asked for right now please. It's my business what I do with it." Dr. Milton wrinkled her nose a bit, turning on her heel to leave the room, "And I'd like it now please."
Dean fell back against his bed, pain traveling throughout his chest at an immense rate. He'd been told he had a bruise on his heart; a concussion; some facial lacerations. But none of his injuries mattered, not even the punctured lung. He took in a quick and painful breath. He just needed the phone. Dean couldn't let Castiel leave without him, and the only way he was going to leave was if he had help. He knew there was no way he would get permission to go with her without having someone with him.
Footsteps came back into the room, but it wasn't Dr. Milton. It was a nurse. He sighed, reaching for the phone with his hands, "Here you are, sir," he nodded his head, holding the phone with a shaky hand as he punched in the phone number of someone who could help. The nurse stepped out of the room as Dean listened to it begin to ring.. and ring.. and ring.
"Hello?"
Dean nearly had a heart attack when he heard the voice on the other end, "Sam! Sammy, it's.. it's Dean," he said, taking in a shaky breath.
"Dean? I thought you and Castiel were going to be here already? We haven't heard anything and we were getting worried."
Dean felt his breath hitch and he put the palm of his hand to his face as he began to silently cry, "S-Sam.. There was an accident," he drew in a sharp breath, his chest a raging fire. Each heart beat tore through his body as he thought about being separated from Castiel.
"An accident? What kind of accident? Are you alright? Is Castiel okay?"
Dean choked out a sob into the phone, "N-No. I.. I am alright, I guess. A bit worse for wear.. b-but Cas? He's.. He's out. He's in a coma, Sam. He won't wake up. His injuries.. he might.. I just.. And he's going.. I want to be with him, Sam," he coughed, lowering the phone for a moment as he put a fist to his mouth.
"Dean? Dean? Where are you?"
The phone was put back to his ear and Dean looked up towards the door to his room, "I'm.. I'm at East View.. Just.." he stared at the closed door, "Please.. If Castiel is going to die, I cannot leave his side. I won't.. I can't.. I wouldn't want to be alone either," he choked out, everything suddenly feeling heavy.
TWENTY DAYS LATER.
East View Neurological Institute.
Five days after being transferred to the university hospital, Castiel was taken off life support. Five days after that, he was transferred to the East View Neurological Institute for further operation. Dean had followed under the supervision of his brother, Sam Winchester - he had not wanted Castiel to be alone. He couldn't let him be alone. They had only been married for ten weeks, "What kind of God does that?" Dean had muttered out multiple times.
Sam never knew what to say, and what could he say? He had stayed by his brother's side as often as possible, leaving when he had to work. It broke him to see his brother so torn apart over what had happened, but he knew he couldn't relate. Sam didn't understand what it was like to see something like that and he couldn't even begin to try and imagine something like that happening.
Ten days after being at the neurological institute; Castiel began to wake.
Dean was able to walk to the room Castiel was in on his own. He'd made incredible strides in his recovery. And as the neurosurgeon who had been assigned to Castiel's case flipped through his husband's charts, he looked to the man and then to Castiel who was eying Dean curiously.
Dean looked down to his clothes and smirked slightly to the scrubs he was wearing. He'd asked for something less revealing instead of a hospital gown. It was only right that Castiel was giving him that look, "I know, they aren't spectacular or anything," Dean was just glad to see his husband alive and well and breathing. Castiel had just blown through brain damage with less than one percent in survival rates; of course Dean was happy!
"I'm just going to ask you some routine questions, if you don't mind," the doctor asked.
Castiel nodded his head slowly, "Alright.."
"Can you tell me what year it is?"
Castiel thought for a moment and then nodded his head, "It's 2011."
Dean smiled to this, glad to hear Castiel's voice. He wanted nothing more than to step forward and hug his husband, to kiss him on the cheek and tell him how happy he was that he was alright; but he couldn't. He needed to wait until the doctor was done before he did anything, he knew that.
"Alright, how about your father's name?"
Castiel nodded his head slowly to this as well, feeling like his head was on fire. There was a dull pain in the back of his head and it itched, but there was something blocking him from doing so and it was driving him crazy, "I don't understand, why am I being asked about my father?"
Dean stepped forward, "It's just routine, Castiel. It's to help answer some questions they might be wondering themselves, just answer, okay? Promise he doesn't have many more," he smiled warmly to Castiel. His husband returned the look with one of pure annoyance, but Castiel nodded his head.
"Bobby."
"Alright, good. How about your husband?"
Dean's breath hitched as he looked to Castiel, watching as he thought. The whole minute the silence lasted felt like eternity as he watched Castiel. Maybe Dean was insane, or maybe he wasn't. But if he could rewind to that night and slow down.. or something, anything to prevent the answer Castiel was about to give.. he would have. He would do anything not to hear his next five words:
"I don't have a husband."