Are you lost?
Do you find life turning out
Not quite the way you planned?
********************************
"John???" the machines beeped around her as Deb froze. His eyes were fluttering.."John?? Do you know where you are?"
"Deb?"
********************************
Come around stay awhile
That's okay, that's alright
Couldn't get to sleep so talk about it
Let talk about it right now
*********************************
"This is a misunderstanding" he tucked his hands behind his back,smiling too smugly.Carter needed something to hide behind, anything at this point
"You know why we had to ask you" Mark said reluctantly
"Can I go back to work now?"
Mark nodded
He rested his hand on the doorknob,relief flowing through his veins,"And thank you.Thank you Abby, I mean,really appreciate that"
Carter stormed away,slamming the door behind him
"He's lying" Kerry said quietly
Mark nodded,"I know"
**************************************
Here it comes on my head again
I guess I'm born to be the long lost friend
Long Lost Friend
****************************************
" Everyone in this room cares about you. No one is judging you." Dr.Anspaugh said quietly,his face still ridden with disbelief.This was Carter, little Carter, Dr.John Carter.
Carter glared " Yes you are. You've already judged me. You have no idea what I've
been through these last few months but I've been here. I've showed up. I
haven't made excuses, I haven't complained." he wanted to cry.Now just wasn't the time for his whole world to fall apart.Not now..
" That's not the point..." Kerry said quietly
" No, that is the point! Can anybody tell me that uh, uh that I have
endangered patients? I mean can anybody here say that my performance has
changed? Hm? That I'm some kind of alliability?" he yelled, his face red with anger
Deb took a deep breath, afarid to speak up.When she did, it came out as almost a squeak.This was Carter.."John, you put a patient into anaphylactic shock by giving her bacterium
when she told you that she was allergic to it."her hands shook
" And you" he pointed at Deb accusingly," almost killed somebody by leaving a guide wire in their
chest." she sunk back into the corner,defeated. "Is this about mistakes? Who here hasn't made a mistake?" Carter cried."Hell I saved your ass this afternoon" he pointed at Mark,who backed away like Jing Mei. Their faces all struck in disbelief.
Kerry bravely stepped forward, "John, you're demonstrating compulsive drug seeking behaviour."
" Wait just tell me what."
" You know what? I think bailing Fentanyl in the trauma room qualifies." Kerry said bitterly.Now wasn't the time to show how she really felt
Carter closed his eyes,then opened them,enraged." Well I told you I didn't do that. You want to call me a liar fine
call me a liar but I didn't do that."
" Okay show us your wrists."
" What?"
" SHOW US YOUR WRISTS!"
He searched their faces, for some sign. Something that said they were joking, the gig is up,this is over.." Are we looking for
track marks?"
" Yeah." Kerry nodded," we are"
" Well there. See? Here you want me to roll up my sleeves?"
Kerry took a deep breath,"Take off your watch."
" Uh, you know? You know what? Forget it." Carter cried bitterly, all the color drained from his face,"Forget it"
Mark took a deep breath "This is your only chance Carter."
"Great" his hand was on the doorknob,"I quit"
*******************************************
Are you cold? Is there no place better, safer, friendlier than this?
Call me up, I'm alone
That's okay, That's alright
Rather it be me than go without it
So don't think about it right now
********************************************
" Hi, are you the adoptive parents?" he stuck his hands in his pants pockets akwardly
The tall man nodded," Yes, James & Linda. Are you the doctor?" James reached out and shook Carter's hand
" Ahhh I'm a friend of Debs." Carter replied
"Who?"
" Jing-Mei." Carter winced," I'm John Carter."
Linda looked frightened sitting on the chair watching her husband talk to Carter."Is there a problem?" she asked straightforwardly
" No, no"Carter shook his head," she's starting to push, baby's healthy, It could be any minute now."
" We should get in there." James stated
Carter pursed his lips " Well...she's feeling a little overwhelmed."
" She said we could be at the birth." Linda said defensively
Carter took a deep breath," I know, uhh...labour can be demanding and she really needs to focus."
" We jumped on a plane and travelled all night from Portland to get here." her voice cracked
" I understand...you can take a seat, right here." Carter said softly
"Is she changing her mind? About giving the baby up for adoption?" she never took her eyes off Carter
He shook his head," No, I think shes...a little embarassed, just wants a little of privacy."
"Look, we really wanted to be there for the birth of our son" James stated almost angrily
Carter held his hand on the delievery room door," I'll bring him right out to you, I promise." he disappeared into the room,letting out a sigh of relief
************************************************
I've given ballast
Held you up when you were falling down
What happens when I'm not around?
************************************************
"She offered you the job yet?"
Carter nodded," I'm not sure that I want it."
"Yes, you do. You've always wanted it." she replied
"I'll pass if it means you'll stay."
Deb shook her head" You should take it. I don't want to be here anymore. Really, if
it's not you, it'd be somebody else, and I'd rather it be you."
" Are you going to try to stay in Chicago?"
" I don't know." she sighed,tears collecting in her eyes
Carter took a deep breath,feeling suffocated.He was going to lose his friend,"I think there's still a spot open at Northwestern."
Tears raced down Deb's cheeks," Promise me, John, that whatever sacrifice you make for this place, you just make sure it's worth it."
He reached over and wrapped her in his arms,kissing her forehead gently.
*********************************************
Friend?
Friend?
Long Lost Friend
Do you find life turning out
Not quite the way you planned?
********************************
"John???" the machines beeped around her as Deb froze. His eyes were fluttering.."John?? Do you know where you are?"
"Deb?"
********************************
Come around stay awhile
That's okay, that's alright
Couldn't get to sleep so talk about it
Let talk about it right now
*********************************
"This is a misunderstanding" he tucked his hands behind his back,smiling too smugly.Carter needed something to hide behind, anything at this point
"You know why we had to ask you" Mark said reluctantly
"Can I go back to work now?"
Mark nodded
He rested his hand on the doorknob,relief flowing through his veins,"And thank you.Thank you Abby, I mean,really appreciate that"
Carter stormed away,slamming the door behind him
"He's lying" Kerry said quietly
Mark nodded,"I know"
**************************************
Here it comes on my head again
I guess I'm born to be the long lost friend
Long Lost Friend
****************************************
" Everyone in this room cares about you. No one is judging you." Dr.Anspaugh said quietly,his face still ridden with disbelief.This was Carter, little Carter, Dr.John Carter.
Carter glared " Yes you are. You've already judged me. You have no idea what I've
been through these last few months but I've been here. I've showed up. I
haven't made excuses, I haven't complained." he wanted to cry.Now just wasn't the time for his whole world to fall apart.Not now..
" That's not the point..." Kerry said quietly
" No, that is the point! Can anybody tell me that uh, uh that I have
endangered patients? I mean can anybody here say that my performance has
changed? Hm? That I'm some kind of alliability?" he yelled, his face red with anger
Deb took a deep breath, afarid to speak up.When she did, it came out as almost a squeak.This was Carter.."John, you put a patient into anaphylactic shock by giving her bacterium
when she told you that she was allergic to it."her hands shook
" And you" he pointed at Deb accusingly," almost killed somebody by leaving a guide wire in their
chest." she sunk back into the corner,defeated. "Is this about mistakes? Who here hasn't made a mistake?" Carter cried."Hell I saved your ass this afternoon" he pointed at Mark,who backed away like Jing Mei. Their faces all struck in disbelief.
Kerry bravely stepped forward, "John, you're demonstrating compulsive drug seeking behaviour."
" Wait just tell me what."
" You know what? I think bailing Fentanyl in the trauma room qualifies." Kerry said bitterly.Now wasn't the time to show how she really felt
Carter closed his eyes,then opened them,enraged." Well I told you I didn't do that. You want to call me a liar fine
call me a liar but I didn't do that."
" Okay show us your wrists."
" What?"
" SHOW US YOUR WRISTS!"
He searched their faces, for some sign. Something that said they were joking, the gig is up,this is over.." Are we looking for
track marks?"
" Yeah." Kerry nodded," we are"
" Well there. See? Here you want me to roll up my sleeves?"
Kerry took a deep breath,"Take off your watch."
" Uh, you know? You know what? Forget it." Carter cried bitterly, all the color drained from his face,"Forget it"
Mark took a deep breath "This is your only chance Carter."
"Great" his hand was on the doorknob,"I quit"
*******************************************
Are you cold? Is there no place better, safer, friendlier than this?
Call me up, I'm alone
That's okay, That's alright
Rather it be me than go without it
So don't think about it right now
********************************************
" Hi, are you the adoptive parents?" he stuck his hands in his pants pockets akwardly
The tall man nodded," Yes, James & Linda. Are you the doctor?" James reached out and shook Carter's hand
" Ahhh I'm a friend of Debs." Carter replied
"Who?"
" Jing-Mei." Carter winced," I'm John Carter."
Linda looked frightened sitting on the chair watching her husband talk to Carter."Is there a problem?" she asked straightforwardly
" No, no"Carter shook his head," she's starting to push, baby's healthy, It could be any minute now."
" We should get in there." James stated
Carter pursed his lips " Well...she's feeling a little overwhelmed."
" She said we could be at the birth." Linda said defensively
Carter took a deep breath," I know, uhh...labour can be demanding and she really needs to focus."
" We jumped on a plane and travelled all night from Portland to get here." her voice cracked
" I understand...you can take a seat, right here." Carter said softly
"Is she changing her mind? About giving the baby up for adoption?" she never took her eyes off Carter
He shook his head," No, I think shes...a little embarassed, just wants a little of privacy."
"Look, we really wanted to be there for the birth of our son" James stated almost angrily
Carter held his hand on the delievery room door," I'll bring him right out to you, I promise." he disappeared into the room,letting out a sigh of relief
************************************************
I've given ballast
Held you up when you were falling down
What happens when I'm not around?
************************************************
"She offered you the job yet?"
Carter nodded," I'm not sure that I want it."
"Yes, you do. You've always wanted it." she replied
"I'll pass if it means you'll stay."
Deb shook her head" You should take it. I don't want to be here anymore. Really, if
it's not you, it'd be somebody else, and I'd rather it be you."
" Are you going to try to stay in Chicago?"
" I don't know." she sighed,tears collecting in her eyes
Carter took a deep breath,feeling suffocated.He was going to lose his friend,"I think there's still a spot open at Northwestern."
Tears raced down Deb's cheeks," Promise me, John, that whatever sacrifice you make for this place, you just make sure it's worth it."
He reached over and wrapped her in his arms,kissing her forehead gently.
*********************************************
Friend?
Friend?
Long Lost Friend