Wolfe - I'm trying to write about how it would feel like in the animes to be a side character. Just a short about trying to release your soul from the pain of always feeling that. . . life is not fair, or that you're not important. That you're the side character, not the main character. I've always felt sorry for those people and that their lives were shit. Hopefully this will help some people. . . and more importantly it helps relieve my stress. It may not be good, but every time I write it is written on raw emotion. They are short chapters most of the time and I hope it's an easy read. Also it helps give me experience and a better way to write stories, so review.
What words can express how I'm screaming? How can I tell you that I've done the impossible? I can't, but I can tell you what I'm doing right now. Here I am, in front of at least 200 students dancing... on a rail... on the roof of the school building. I can see all their faces down below and I can imagine my face being neurotic and sensual. Just a soft smile illuminating my entire face, but the truth is, between you and me, behind that smile that I put on so often is the screaming. ;affjkopqweriut grehl;vbn.
That screaming.
Words that you can't understand, emotions that are running and clashing and lifting and falling and apqweiourqpweiodgjna;cklvmnzxc,vmpjqoiweru to1pt38yh9- and then it feels as though my heart stops and my fingers go numb. They're still all watching. I decide to wow them from my simple steps back and forth into something amazing. Gradually I begin to move back and forth faster. You see, my name is Rema, and I am vice-president on the student council. I work a thousand times harder than most of the people you have ever met.
I begin swaying while pacing back and forth, in tune with my now running, dancing steps on the high rail. Of course I'm not the president, (but I think I should sometimes be credited for my achievements) I didn't even really care for vice-president, I was just elected. The president... is... a boy or is it a man? I don't know. He is intelligent, cool, condescending and he fell in love with stupid, loud-mouth, F student. I turn abruptly in a spin to go backwards and the gathering crowds gasps below with a sense of panic. I can't feel it though. I'm so numb.
Next we have... normal student and dance star. Dance star is funny, and a playboy. Normal student is shy and cute. They love each other too. What hardships they put up with and went through together with. I sigh inside, because I can't let such a worried emotion fall across my face. I stop on the railing noticing the steps not making a big enough impression on the crowd. Maybe I'll die from this. It flashes through my head and then leaves my mind entirely. Slowly I begin to arch my back and raise my leg higher and higher until, oh God, the ground begins to lurch sickingly towards my face and I almost lose balance.
The rush of adrenaline and excitement I feel is addictive. Something more crazy, something insane! And I realize the perfect thing to do after I regain my balance. I begin slowly, then trot, then sprint and jump! I'm flying and that damn smile is still there. There was a boy that I also knew, he was a sports king and wasn't that bad at grades. He fell in love with the handicapped, 'I can't walk lady.' All those people, all of them my friends, and they don't know this dark, black hole that is me. How I hate them.. or not really them. Just that damn, stupid, fucking insane apsdoifq word love! For who could love me?
Nevermind, let me count out seconds and tell you what's happening. 1, 2, my 'friends' are rushing up the steps to the doors, because their all mary-sues. 3, 4, they're at the door. Hell! There they are, I can see them out of the corner of my eye. I just smile that soft smile. 5 land, or don't land, mainly land because I'm too much of a pussy too fucking miss. My feet come down hard on the rail. Between slipping and landing I manage to stand up, spread my arms wide and like an actor give a big bow before raising my arms up and turning towards my 'friends.'
I heard somewhere from someone, later that I looked like a shadow and a Goddess all combined in one with my long ravenous black hair flowing gently in the wind. My arms were spread wide almost inviting my 'friends' into an intimate embrace. The sun burning directly into my eyes and illuminating my body from the back. Welcome to my 3rd year in high school.
Fuck this.