A/N
Now my comp has stopped having a spaz attack I can actually write this up. Heh. Dedicated to Cheesy Goodness who (after saying she didn't like slash) I thought I'd write something platonic for. She deserves it, amazing as she is.
Hee hee, Fruits Basket fics next. See y'all next time. Disclaimer: Nope. Nada. Hee.
Well, enjoy. Don't flame or I'll send Barty over to sort you out.
Bartimaeus: … did you just call me Barty?
-grins- shush. Just be grateful Barty hasn't found out about my other fic or I'd be dead by now. –begins to chant Systematic Vice-
Bartimaeus: Again with the 'Barty'! And anyway, I know your birthname, so that's useless. Hang on a minute – what other fic?
-runs-
Respect
Respect: Esteem for a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability.
Funny thing, respect, eh?
I mean, it's a hard thing to earn. It's only a few steps down from admiration and even love (1), but a massive leap from slavery.
So how can it be that I can respect a magician? Make that two, while you're at it. Oh, and a normal person, I suppose. They all earned my respect in one way or another. I mean, not even many djinni had earned my respect over the many years (2), so the idea of magicians earning my respect is really quite laughable.
Yet, I can find at least three humans which have shown me enough to make me bestow some kind thoughts (3). It really is quite ridiculous. Perhaps I've gone soft in my old age… but I don't think I have. I think humans are changing.
Well, change isn't necessarily a bad thing, is it? If it means that a battle-weary djinni like me can start to perhaps, maybe think amiably about a handful of humans, it can't be that bad.
I suppose I've always wondered what happens after death. I'd like to be able to clear a few things up with people; Jabor, Farquarl, Queezle… alright, alright, I'd like to talk to Ptolemy too. And Nathaniel, I suppose. I do owe them something.
Wait a minute, who are you anyway? Some commoner, hearing my innermost thoughts? And how are you hearing them anyway?
Never mind. I suppose it doesn't matter. I can float here forever, now. Nathaniel's death probably means that I've been presumed dead. I half-wonder how London's doing without magicians, but quite frankly I don't give a toss. They're better off without them. You really are predictable, you lot. I thought maybe after the fourth rise and fall of an empire you would have learnt something, but… there you go. Idiotic, the lot of you.
Don't look all disgruntled. I'm not insulting you, I'm just stating fact. Go do some research on your ancient history (4). You do just go around in pointless circles.
Dear me, you have been a fool, haven't you? You've followed completely the wrong train of thought (5).
Where were you… ah yes, respect. My respect for magicians? Nah, pure tosh. Sure you didn't hear that. I don't have any respect for anyone. 'Specially not magicians.
Now get out. Go on, get lost. Don't make me have words with you. No, you didn't read that! I don't respect Nathaniel! I hate him! Think of what he did for me! Oh shut up. He did save my life, I suppose. Now stop smirking and get out!
And… say hello to Kitty for me. Tell her… tell her I'm sorry. And tell her to say hello to Natty boy for me.
(1) Not that I'd know anything about love. Oh shush, you know me; far too obnoxious for that.
(2) Though lots have earned my hate. Goes without saying. Heh, if I could count them… I suppose the funniest one was the case of the Unusually-Shaped Toothpick, but that's another story.
(3) Believe it or not, I do have them.
(4) Wikipedia's quite useful. Who do you think had the idea for that?
(5) Look, I'm sure I've mentioned this before. My mind works on many levels. The one you were talking to has already composed a witty ballad while you were chatting away to this one. Don't understand? Good. Serves you right.
A/N
Wow, I think that's one of the weirdest stories I've ever written. Hope you liked. Please do leave a review.
Bartimaeus: -coughs quietly- What is the meaning of this?
Ah. Oh dear. He found Command. –runs-
Bartimaeus: GET BACK HERE!
Till next time!