Spencer was sitting on their couch, trying to think of how this conversation with Derek was going to go: how he was going to be able to share this news.

It had only been a couple weeks since, well, since everything in Boston. Between the funeral and everything else, Spencer found himself surprised he even had any free time to do this.

They had recently found themselves in Oregon with an unsub who they had originally thought was a suspected gang, and ended up being a man who was suffering from schizophrenia, killing a victim every night.

Spencer knew that everyone was watching him through the case, especially Derek. When Derek had spoken to him in the bathroom after how quickly he had left the profile presentation, he wanted everything to come out there.

"Our unsub's hallucinations aren't fractured like a typical schizophrenic. They're vivid and clear,

making me believe that we're missing an important variable. Rather than making crazy conjectures, I think we should be trying to figure out what it was."

"Okay, listen to me, I know this is a scary age for you. It's when schizophrenic breaks happen."

Spencer knew he was right. More than often 29 is the usual age when schizophrenia symptoms appear and with the illness being genetically passed.

He knew that wasn't the case though.

"Have you talked to anyone about this?"

"Emily."

And that wasn't a complete lie. Spencer had told her about the headaches he had been getting, but didn't tell her to the full extent. She was just the first one he let himself be vulnerable in front of.

"You just jumped."

"I've been having these really intense headaches lately."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Does anyone know?

"You."

"I won't tell anyone."

"I know, they'd just worry. You know, not that you're not gonna worry, but they'll just make me feel like a baby, you know?"

Spencer blinked back the tears as the conversation with Emily faded. He was ready to tell her everything: just let it all spill out. He had seen how she had been acting lately and didn't want to burden her with anything else.

Spencer doesn't regret it. He just wishes she was here for him to finally tell her everything.

Emily wasn't the only one he had lied to about it.

"What do you need protecting from?"

"I don't know."

"Are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah. I-I pretended to have a headache in order to distract him."

"Pretended?"

"Yeah, pretended."

Spencer shook his head slightly. He absolutely hated lying to Hotch, but at that time, Spencer didn't have any idea what was going on.

"Have you seen a doctor?"

"They all say I'm fine."

"Then why don't you believe them?"

And after that conversation, Spencer knew he had to tell someone. Derek had to be first.

After the jet had landed, Derek had offered to drive Penelope home since Esther was in the shop. Spencer had told him that he'd meet him at home and Rossi had dropped him off at the metro station.

The quiet wasn't helping Spencer's headache, and he sat still on the couch as memories kept attacking. He didn't feel himself starting to cry, he didn't remember closing his eyes, and he didn't hear Derek opening the door.

Spencer wasn't aware of anything until he felt the couch dip beside him and suddenly found himself wrapped in Derek's arms. Silently, he wrapped his arms around Derek and cried into his shoulder as he felt Derek rubbing his back.

"Pretty boy, talk to me," Derek whispered into his ear. Spencer shook his head. "You can talk to me, you know that."

"I lied, Derek," Spencer choked out. Derek's hand had moved from his back and was now running his fingers through Spencer's hair.

"About what, Spence?"

"About what the doctors said," Spencer whispered as he tried to pull away from Derek.

"You can tell me," Derek said and let Spencer's head rest on his shoulder.

Spencer swallowed slightly and took a deep breath before he let himself recall the memory and let everything finally come out.

Spencer found himself impatiently waiting in a room at Saint Sebastian. Before their case in Miami, Spencer had a brain MRI. Lately, he had been having intense migraines. He was sensitive to light, loud noises, and he hardly slept. The migraines became so intense, the pain was waking him up in the middle of the night.

Once they had returned from the case in Miami, Spencer had received a voicemail from the doctor, and had requested the earliest appointment possible.

Doctor Barnes walked in and immediately walked over to the x-ray illuminator, putting up the images and turning on the light.

Spencer looked at the scans and was confused. "So this isn't psychosomatic?" Spencer asked the doctor, his voice sounding both relieved and nervous.

Doctor Barnes gave him a sympathetic look and shook his head.

"What is it then?"

Doctor Barnes pointed to the image on the left, his finger drawing a circle around a spot towards the right frontal lobe of his brain.

"What is it?" Spencer asked again, his voice cracking slightly as he grew more nervous.

"This might be easier if we talk in my office?" Doctor Barnes asked, turning the illuminator off and collecting the MRI images. Spencer licked his lips before nodding and following the doctor out.

Who knew that a few words could turn your entire world upside down. The conversation in Doctor Barnes' office would be a memory he couldn't ever suppress, eidetic memory or not.

"We'd need to do some more tests, but I'm already predicting diagnosis of what looks like glioblastoma," the doctor explained, watching Spencer's face carefully.

Spencer squinted in confusion and quickly went through his brain, trying to connect the word to a definition and bit his lip once the connection was made.

"Glioblastoma is-" Barnes began, but Spencer quickly cut him off.

"It's a brain tumor - one of the more common and aggressive brain tumors when properly diagnosed. More than not they're malignant." His voice shook as he rambled and he tried to ignore the apologetic look on the other man's face. "I don't understand."

Doctor Barnes let out a sigh. "You might've been displaying symptoms without realizing. Besides the headaches, have you experienced any nausea or vomiting?"

Spencer licked his lips and thought back the past few months that he had been having the migraines. His eyes widened when a memory became clear.

"Oh, again with the dairy?"

"I can't help it, I love dairy."

"Guess it wasn't the dairy," Spencer mumbled to himself as he remembered the times spent in the bathroom on the jet and numerous precincts while out on cases. He looked up and made eye contact with Doctor Barnes before nodding and swallowing slightly.

"Are you sure this is a glioblastoma?"

"Doctor Reid, even though they are rare-"

"There are 2 to 3 positive cases per year," Spencer saw the look the doctor was giving him. "Sorry."

"Like I was saying, they are commonly rare but there are successful tests to help us with a definitive diagnosis," Barnes explained.

"What, uh, what kind of tests?" Spencer asked.

"To get a definitive diagnosis of a suspected GMT, we can either do a craniotomy or a stereotactic biopsy."

"Which one would you recommend?"

"The biopsy is less intrusive, but considering your occupation it also isn't exclusively inpatient. You would be in and out within a day." Barnes remained silent as he watched the young man in front of him think everything over.

"When would you be able to do the biopsy?" Spencer whispered. He felt his leg start shaking up and down, a nervous tick he had discovered about himself since he started getting these migraines.

They had scheduled it for two weeks later, but Spencer had to cancel due to the case in Montana. That had quickly became a common factor as more cases popped up too close to the biopsy dates.

Spencer forced himself through the pain of the continuation and untreated migraines. After everything with Doyle, Spencer had promised himself that he wasn't going to put it off any longer and that he'd just would have to request time off from work if it came to it.

And that's how he got here with Derek. Spencer didn't look at Derek as he finished telling him everything that he had learned from Doctor Barnes, he didn't want to see the disappointment or the pity from a man he looked up to and loved so much.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Derek's voice was rough and odd sounding after the two had sat in a deafening silence.

"I don't know," Spencer began, rubbing a trembling hand over his face. "Scared? Then everything with Emily and I just didn't-"

"Were you planning to do this all on your own? Tell me or anyone?"

Spencer bit his lip and didn't say anything. "I wish I had an answer, but I don't." His felt himself crying again. "I don't know what to do Derek, I still don't."

He let himself be pulled into Derek's side again, letting the arms wrap around his body, relieved that he finally told someone.

"You're not going to be alone with this," Derek said, kissing the top of his head. "You're not alone in this, Pretty Boy."

Author's Note: I plan to update this every Sunday as possible! All critiques and comments are welcomed!