I LIVE
well as you can gather I'm finally back
after what nearly a year of not updating I actually have the motivation to write again
For those who wish to know the computer I had first got a virus, then it crashed, downtime a month, then the motherboard melted inside the case so I got a new computer but you see all the cold hard data (nearly 200 gig of anime pics) including my stories is still on the hard drive
I'm getting the computer fixed but in the meantime I'm working on one of the other many bizare and strange ideas that seek to plague my unending nightmare of frustration called life
beyond that I ended up hospitalised for a week a little while ago and in the drug induced delirium small voices decided to whisper an idea for a new story into my cranium
To those who wonder and in fact may look forward to stitched together I'm still writing it it'll just be a back burner until the other computer is fixed, I'm getting my family to fix it as I'm both a lazy asshole and a miser who penny pinches except where it comes to energy drinks so it'll probably take a while
beyond that work and social obligations get in the way of writing, damn humans
Disclaimer- I don't own this no I don't but I sure do a better job then a guy who creates a world where children are taught to be killers at a young age and then decides they're meant to be pacifists
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Slightly Odd
Because no other title would fit
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If you had asked someone what they thought about Uzumaki Naruto you would garner mixed reactions
Not for the reasons one may have typically thought to be heard about an jinjuriki however
See if you had asked a villager or a ninja what they had thought of the small boy years ago when he was only very young and not yet attending the ninja academy then you would have been given answers like 'a bad seed' or 'a danger that shoud be avoided' sometimes voiced politely and sometimes with vulgar obscenities thrown into their speech.
However if you were only very new to the village or lived under a rock your entire life, possible considering the rampant paranoia that many ninja succumbed to once they realised they resided in a place where everyone else had the skill and quite often the mental insability nessesary to kill you while you slept you would have received a very different answer then from six years ago.
Some would turn their attention elseware, quite often putting their hands up to avoid eye contact as they hurried away, occasionly with an excuse as being busy or that they suddenly remembered they left the stove on.
others would change the subject and just ignore your question as a way of simply keeping the child 'out of sight out of mind'
A few would turn slightly green as they run off, most were men that could be described a real tough blokes who could handle being elbow deep in another persons intestines.
As for the few that would answer would simply say 'Don't go there' or 'its just not worth it' usually in those exact words.
Why you may ask it was you would get those reactions that were radically different to those from when he was younger.
Well it all started a week before his entrance to the academy, nearly four months after he had turned six and closing into the new academy year for entrants to be ninja.
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Bright blue eyes stared in an amazed fashion at all the wonderful sights and sounds of the market place, the populace of Konoha being kind enough to give him a huge berth of distance so he could see everything, some of them even tripped over themselves to get out of his direction as if he was the Kyuubi itself come to devour them.
The villagers acted funny like that sometimes but the Kyuubi had been killed the same day as his birthday so everything was alright and he didn't have to worry about a giant demon fox, not one bit.
If he could remember his jumbled thoughts from that age then he would probably laugh at the irony
He had come to the market, a new one as it was only recently opened for the foreign merchants who could now take supplies from their homes and trade them with Konoha for you see even though the last great ninja war happened just over seven years ago only just now was trade between countries resuming due to the inefficient bureaucracies and governments in each country and village.
Konoha wasn't left from the bumbling either as they suffered from excess paperwork and a shortage of capable employees as well as the rampant greed and sloth of their own lord who ruled.
the market place had been open for a month but only now did he have enough money saved.
That and the Hokage had given him a wad of cash the size of a man's wrist so he could buy ninja supplies for the academy, along with a list of what he would need.
Funnily enough the sheet of paper had two lists on it, one for a shinobi and one for a Kunoichi, neither of which Naruto could read and simply figured the old man knew best and left it at that.
What Naruto and in fact many ninja didn't realise was the laziness of the staff that worked in the ninja related offices, often documents would be ambiguous and short no for security but because most couldn't be bothered, ninja however always jumped to the wrong conclusion and figured it was an ingenious plot and where none the wiser.
This however also meant that the sheets given out to families whose children were becoming ninja or orphans in many cases had been made so that both men and women could be applied to the same form, a cost effective way which meant a clerk could simply hand over a single sheet without having to worry about looking up whether the would-be ninja was male or female.
In another time and place Naruto would have gone down the street to the standard supply store for ninja and would have been extorted into having less then what he needed and been set up for failure before he even began but something changed, a slight change like the difference between having a coffee in the morning or deciding to clean ones teeth before breakfast instead of after.
Tiny and inconsequential
But enough to make a difference
Naruto stopped to pat a small cat squatting for a good few minutes as he patted the overly friendly feline.
Hearing a commotion behind him Naruto turned hoping it wasn't another angry adult who wanted to beat him up again.
What he saw would forever be embedded into his mind so deeply that even a Yamanaka wouldn't be able to wipe away the memory.
A woman clothed in the silks of the deepest red and and draped around her bountiful body in the illusion of a kimono that sashayed with each step, her face was hidden behind a vail that shimmered in the midday sun reflecting droplets of red light moving like fireflies.
Her body was tall and slender but painfully hidden behind her clothing as her large chest swayed withing the confines of the fabric.
Naruto however could only watch and gape open mouthed much like most of the townsfolk who were also doing impressions of a goldfish.
"Good day to you lady Yuriko"
"Have a pleasant day lady Yuriko"
"Thank you for the help the other day lady Yuriko and good luck on your future missions"
It was when many started to bow their heads to the lady as she passed that something clicked within Naruto and his mind Begin to move once again.
The lady was beautiful, more then that the people in the street loved her without her having to do anything, was it simply because she was female or was it because of her beauty or even her clothes, Naruto couldn't tell with his mind a buzz with the eurporia of witnessing something he had yet to experience.
One thin he did know was that he wanted to learn more about the vailed beauty and went to the closest source to find exactly that.
"Hey mister who was that just now"
Blunt and direct Naruto moved to the man who had thanked the woman as she passed the awestruck townsfolk.
"That little boy was Lady Shiba Yuriko A chunin Kunoichi of this village and if it weren't for her then myself and my family would never of made it to Konoha"
Scrunching up his eyes tight Naruto thought of what the man said taking his time to let the words roll over in his head taking enough time that the old merchant was about to turn away when the small golden haired boy replied slamming a fist into his hand as he spoke.
"Oh yeah that's right I'm meant to pick up stuff to be a ninja as well, hey mister do you know where I'm meant'ta go for that ninja stuff that Yuriko lady uses"
"Well if you go down that street you'll see a red coloured shop and-"
"Thanks old man see ya"
The shopkeeper however thinking that Naruto meant he wanted to see where Yuriko shopped pointed off in the direction further down the market.
Having given what he wanted the small boy ran off not waiting to hear the peddler mention that he was.
"-Next to it is the shinobi emporium for men, oh well the old dear at Natsumi Geisha will just direct him next door so no harm"
Right?
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Naruto found the shop easily enough with it being a dark red and the fact that nearly every man walking by it would hurry power walking while also somehow managing to limp and put whatever they were carrying between their legs as they did so.
It was something he had seen men do whenever they saw a woman who wasn't wearing much or when they were dressed in towels and chasing some white haired old guy.
"Mummy I wanna be a ninja now can't I, Can't I please?"
The shop next to the red one had a huge crowd which Naruto mostly ignored but to turned to stare when he heard a little kid yelling at its parent and shook his head dejectedly figuring the kid and its parent was going to the wrong store to be a ninja.
after all the shopkeeper was deadset that ninjas went to the red shop so clearly the crowd was just a bunch of people doing their shopping, only a few of them looked like ninjas(1)
Taking advantage of the fact there was so few people in the shop Naruto boldly strode forth parting the bamboo curtains where he was immediately assaulted by a myriad of senses, sight sound and smell.
Sight was simple as the shop was draped in all manner of silks and finery, the soft lights doing much to stimulate and relax.
Sound was next as he could hear the subtle sounds of drawn instruments being played almost far off at the edge of his senses as the low strumming of koto seeped into his ears and blurred thoughts.
Smell however was the most prevalent and noticeable to the young boy as a heavy musky scent trailed and permeated the air making his eyelids droop and tense muscles to mellow.
His limbs felt heavy and weak but he moved forward to the counter where a short old lady sat content with mending a long sleeve dress who looked up as Naruto stumbled closer
"Hey oba-san... HEY OBA-SAN"
The woman sort of slow in her old age lent forward with her bones creaking audibly as she moved her face to within inches of Naruto's own
"Bit of a loud tomboy ain't ya" the woman spoke voice dry and almost as withered as her skin her hands continuing the meticulous job of sewing even with her concentration shifted from her job
Naruto thought for a moment running over the unfamiliar word of tomboy
A tomcat meant a stroppy loud cat that was always in fights and he was a boy so a tomboy would have to mean that he was someone who'd pick fights, exactly what ninja do... maybe
'I know shes telling me how good I am, wow she must already know I'm here to be a ninja'
Nodding to himself Naruto lifted the list from his grubby fingers where it had been gripped tightly and held it up for the old woman to see
"I'm here to be a ninja, can you help me kind old lady"
It may be obvious to anyone but Naruto's skill in dialogue was severely lacking so when in doubt he would simply pile on complements like a snake oil salesman and hope his opposition would yield from the sheer overload of sweetness.
The old lady looked at the list for a long time before looking down at the child who still held it and squinted
saruji Yuna age 76 was old, old enough for her eyes to fail and her ears to be dulled, Yuna's muscles had slowly atrophied over time and her skin sagged, most of her teeth had long since rotted and her denctures hurt her gums, atritis affected her joints further slowing her
But she was thankful that she still had her wits about her as many of her own friends had long since succumbed to the many debilitating effects that plagued the old
It had been quite a while since a scared child meandered into her shop, usually now even an orphan would have a chunin or gennin escort and they would always choose the far more standardised shop next door
Squinting at the script parchment Yuna looked at the list of suplies before staring down at the tomboy from across the counter top.
"If you want to be a kunoichi then you've come to the right place"
'Kunoichi must be another name for what ninjas are called'
"Uhuh I wanna be respected and cool like that Yuriko lady the old man talked about"
Nodding silently to herself Yuna would help young Uzumaki Naruto while also making a simple mistake that many old ladies with failing sight often did.
"Well then my dear sweet customer we'll have to make you look the part"
"Huh really old lady"
"little kunoichi when I'm done you'll make heads turn"
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end chapter
So what'cha think
This story idea came after a long night of manga reading on Onemanga, those who don't know it just google it
In particular I read this funny little 20 chapter manga called Marugoto Anjyu Gakuen and another called rappi rangai
I've seen alot of stories lately that have Naruto or another character being female or being turned into a female so I figured I'd try something different
In this story we're going to have a rather feminine Naruto as you can possibly gather
To anyone who didn't guess I pretty much made Yuriko up on the spot and didn't put much thought into her beyond short lived plot device and part mary sue for effect so she'll not appear until much later if at all
if anyone wants to use my two dimensional cardboard cut out of a character go right ahead
(1) - to be honest I found it rather odd that ninja didn't have day to day clothes or that that they wore their day to day clothes to work and training
Objectivly one would keep day to day clothes as being able to set down their headband and relax from their grueling work and wearing civilian clothes while doing work would be both cost inefficient and pointless as most wouldn't be made to take the strain
granted most forms of clothing can be reinforced and designed as concealed armour but thing like what Kakashi and most Jounin wear would be mass produced both to be cost effective and to supply a standard of uniform to prevent or at least lessen friendly fire from paranoid tripped out ninjas