My first HIMYM sweetslash fic. Don't like, don't read. I tried to edit the tenses.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, very very sadly.
Barney glanced over at Ted, with a grin on his face. He'd just scored big-time with the hot blonde who had had the misfortune of coming across Mr Lorenzo Von Natterhorn in MacLarens Bar. Ted hadn't been his wing-man on this night, but normally Barney scoring on his own would be a source of great delight. But tonight Ted had come in half-way through the con, while the girl was researching Lorenzo, and had sat at their booth on his own. But after Barney had sealed the deal, and looked over at Ted for bro support, he realised that Ted was acting.. strangely. He stared at Barney with his dark eyes, and glared moodily at the stupid girl Barney was about to fuck into oblivion. His hand had clenched tightly on his beer bottle every time he had looked at Barney, his finger picking away at the label.
"Ted?"
Ted snapped out of his stupor and realised Barney was standing in front of him, looking confused. Ted took in the full picture of Barney. He wore a grey suit, with a crisp white shirt that hung snugly against his muscular chest, and a black tie. His blonde hair lightly waved above his elegant eyebrows, one of which was quirked upwards in confusion.
"Yeah?" Ted whispered.
"Y'alright?"
Ted grinned.
"Yeah" he said, standing up and stumbling backwards straight away. Barney caught Ted's arm and held him upright.
"C'mon buddy. I'll take you home."
"But your bimbo.."
"Never mind the bimbo Ted. There's plenty of bimbos in the sea"
They walked out of the bar, and left behind a very confused girl. Barney took Ted up to the apartment upstairs, opened the door with Ted's key and brought him inside. Lily and Marshall were away on a weekend trip, so they seemed to be alone.
"Barney I have something to say!" Ted slurred, tripping over the couch armrest and falling onto the cushions. He grabbed Barney's tie on the way down, and they both ended up rolling off the couch and into a heap on the floor. Ted giggled.
"How you doing there Swarley" Ted murmured.
"Teeeeddd," Barney complained, trying to untangle himself. Ted grabbed hold of his arms, and they started to play-wrestle, which made Barney laugh. After a few minutes, Barney flipped Ted over and held him down, breathing heavily.
"Well, looks like the Barnicle won again.."
Ted wasn't listening, too busy staring into Barney's dark blue eyes, which had lit up with happiness. Ted reached out, took Barney's face in his hands, and pressed his lips against his friends.
Barney's lips were cold from the scotch he'd been drinking, with a hint of mint on his breath.
"Ted what the hell..?!" Barney exclaimed, breaking the kiss.
"You were always my best friend," Ted whispered, grabbing Barney's tie and pulling him back. This time Barney responded, opening his mouth and kissing hard. Ted moaned through his teeth. After a few minutes, when they remembered breathing was helpful to.. you know.. living, they stopped, out of breath. Barney sat up, his tie crooked, and leant against the couch.
"Oh my god Ted, I'm not gay!" Barney yelled.
"Neither am I!" Ted replied, yanking himself up. He had sobered up considerably since the bar.
"You taste like scotch" Ted quickly whispered, and Barney wrestled him to the ground, holding down his arms as they passionately kissed again. Ted made a sound, his lips crushed up against Barney's, and wrapped his arms around the blonde man's head, clenching his fists in Barney's hair. Barney nibbled gently at Ted's lips as the kiss deepened.
"Oh. My. God"
A shocked shout from the door popped Ted and Barney's little bubble, and they looked round. A horrified Marshall appeared at the door, which Barney had left ajar, staring slack-jawed at his two best friends. Barney jumped up.
"Ted said I'm his real best friend!" he yelled, and sprinted out of the apartment. Ted giggled from the floor.
"Ted what the hell?!" Marshall exclaimed.
"Oops," Ted snorted, grabbing the couch and pulling himself up.
"Barney just ran past me..?" Lily entered the apartment, looking puzzled. Ted glanced at Marshall, who refused to make eye contact.
"Ted and Barney were making out!" Marshall burst out.
"What..? Ted and.. But Barney is.. How..?"
Marshall shook his head in shock, and sat down on the couch, offering his hand to an obviously struggling Ted. Lily perched on the armrest next to Marshall as Ted collapsed on the seat, and started snoring. A silence followed.
"Rhinoceros?"
"Yeahh" Lily replied, and they left a sleeping Ted on the couch.