A Snail's Pace

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel.

AN: I was in the mood to torture Carol Danvers and, I read todd fan's take on Scarlet Witch being afraid of turkeys. That got me thinking…what is the most harmless, insignificant animal I can think of to torture her with? Then, it hit me…

One Shot

Miss Marvel was just getting out of the shower at the Mansion. She had found her costume and was about to put it on when she heard a crackling sound. Looking on the floor, she noticed she had stepped on something. She looked down and instantly, Carol shrieked in fear. Not caring if her costume was on correctly, she bolted out of the door, screaming,

"HELP!"
She ran into Wonder Man and tackled him in fright. The ionic hero grabbed Carol,

"What's going on?"

Carol babbled,

"In there, in there, a monster! A horrible, icky, monster!"
Simon went in and examined the room. However, he could not find a monster. He did, however, find something else.

The ionic Avenger walked out with what appeared to be fragments of a small shell. He asked,

"Is this it?"

Carol took one look and froze in terror. Simon rubbed the bridge of his nose,

"I figured. Carol, it's just a snail. It won't hurt you."

Miss Marvel backed away,

"Get that monster away from me!"
She bolted down the hall, screaming frantically.

Later…

Carol was in the kitchen, sipping hot chocolate. She shook her head, fearful,

"No snail is going to get me. I'm fine as no snail gets me."

The half-Kree soldier then realized,

"Hey, how did a snail get in the mansion, anyway?"

The Avengers' butler, Edwin Jarvis, had been at the stove, numerous snail shells could be seen ready to serve. He put a small plate on the table. Instantly, Miss Marvel saw it and freaked out. She shouted,

"NO! SNAILS!"
She backed into a corner, going into the fetal position.

Captain America and Hawkeye walked in at that moment. The Shield-slinger asked,

"Why is Carol so frightened?"

The purple archer smirked,

"It's the snails. Miss Marvel's afraid of snails."

Steve walked up to the huddling Carol and asked,

"Carol, do you want to talk about it?"

The blonde Air Force Major swallowed nervously before answering,

"The snails are evil. They're horrible, disgusting, icky…I hate them all!!"
She broke down sobbing. In between sobs, Miss Marvel explained,

"When I was four, I was out playing out on the lawn. I fell and a snail was in my mouth. I spat it out and it looked at me with the ugliest pair of eyes ever! I thought it poisoned me and I ran home crying! Later, I fell asleep and a snail went in my ear. I screamed, and it was sliming all over my ear."
Her eyes widened, a small insane glint appeared in them,

"They're waiting, plotting revenge, trying to slime me when I'm asleep."

Cap and Hawkeye blinked at that. The former circus star grinned,

"Not a problem. I have a full-proof way of conquering your fear of snails."

He grabbed her hand and the two walked off.

Later…

Hawkeye and Tigra were sitting outside Carol's room, the door closed. Both of them were playing cards and the tigress was winning,

"Full house."

Clint slapped his cards down in frustration,

"This sucks."

Greer counted the money,

"You're just a sore loser."

The archer shook his head,

"That's not what I meant. It's been three hours, and not one word from Carol. She should've been able to conquer her fear by now."

The were-tiger Avenger replied,

"It takes time to get over a fear, Clint. Look at me; I'm still working on my fear of water, even though it wasn't as bad when I first got my powers. Believe me; you couldn't make me go near a shower. Now, I'm cool with it."

Cap and Simon came to them. The ionic hero asked,

"Is Carol still in there?"

Hawkeye nodded,

"Yep. I should be checking up on her."

Cap asked,

"What are you doing exactly to help her get over Carol over her fear of snails?"
The door opened and inside, the walls were plastered with pictures of snails. In the center was Carol Danvers, huddling in a ball, whimpering like a two year old child. She rocked back and forth, saying,

"Snails…snails everywhere…snails out to get me…snails out to get me…"

Tigra slapped Hawkeye upside the head,

"You idiot! You're traumatizing her!"
She walked up to Carol and spoke like a mother to a small child,

"Carol, honey. Do you want to get some ice cream?"

The blonde nodded nervously,

"Will there be snails in it?"

Greer shook her head,

"No, there won't be. Promise."

She took Carol's hand and walked the two of them down the hall and into the kitchen. Luckily, Jarvis had already finished cooking snails and the kitchen was clear.

The other two heroes turned to Hawkeye. The archer rolled his eyes,

"Come on, guys. Therapists get charged three hundred an hour for what I just did."

Simon shook his head,

"A little advice, Clint; what goes around; comes around."

Hawkeye laughed,

"Yeah, right. Like I'm scared of a little snail."

He walked to his room. As Cap and Simon were about to leave, they heard a girlish scream coming from the archer's room. He leapt back and pointed,

"MONSTER! GET AWAY FROM ME!"
A small grey mouse exited the room. It curiously looked up at Hawkeye, and then made its way out a hole in the wall. The archer was pale as he pointed a very shaky finger at the rodent,

"EVIL! THAT THING IS EVIL!"
He then fainted.

End of One Shot