Graduation parties always disgusted me, he thought, sitting all lonesome on the table, staring down at the pink floor in the host club room. I wonder if they've noticed I'm not there. He doubted it. He truthfully doubted it. My self-pity is what's really disgusting.
He took another swig of his drink. He had gone to a length of trouble to sneak the beverage in, and he planned on enjoying it. He guzzled down the rest of the bottle, ignoring the flavor. He had never been partial to alcohol. The flavor always was stuck in his mouth afterwards, so he only drank wine when he had to toast.
The lights weren't even on in the room, but the lanterns and festive lights outside shone through the windows, giving him just enough light to see the bottles at the table. He picked up another bottle, popped the cap and gulped it, dreading the taste. Why isn't he with me? He knows I hate these as much as he does. He knew where he was at though. He was with the girl again; the girl that he'd given up for the sake of Hikaru.
When did the drink get so bitter? He wasn't thinking about the drink. He was thinking of himself. He could barely even taste the foul concoction anymore. He remembered stealing the commoners' drink from one of his maids. They had just presumed another maid had taken it, but Kaoru would never admit to taking it.
So Mori and Honey are leaving. It wasn't the end. Tono wanted to proceed with the club, and so they all would. He'd probably go out and grab some freshmen to take the place of the two. It was all about their connections and looks; nothing more, nothing less. He was starting to feel a bit sick.
"I'm done," he said aloud, thinking it more likely to be true if spoken. Three other full bottles sat at the table awaiting him. Instead of grabbing them, he ignored the buzzing in his head and went for the mouth wash and brush he'd brought. He needed to get the smell of the beer out of his mouth.
He spent ten minutes at the sink, brushing and rinsing. Am I drunk? The question ran through his mind. He had never been one to drink. He didn't care to question more because in all honesty that had been his goal all along.
When he finished up, he took the hygiene products back to the table. "My bag." He looked around, unable to recall where he had placed it. When walking past one of the tea table he stumbled, pulling open his blazer and popping a button off. He lie there on the ground for a moment, confused as to how he ended up on the ground. His mouth felt dry.
He finally pushed himself up, glancing at the sofa the rested behind the table. "My bag." He saw it on the couch. Stumbling back to the table, he grabbed the mouth wash and tooth brush and shoved them in his bag. His stomach was feeling pretty funny.
"Where are you, Hikaru?" He asked himself, taking incoherent strides about the room. "You said," he hiccupped, "you and I would get wasted together the first time." But he had known from the beginning Hikaru wouldn't be there, because he had never told Hikaru. He knew even his older brother, though less mature, would have objected to it. He found his reason for living in Haruhi, the new addition to their world. Kaoru couldn't accept it. He just gave her up for him, gave up someone he loved too, and Hikaru didn't even come looking for him. "Baby." That was right, he though. I am a baby; I am an immature baby.
He kicked at one of the coffee tables, knocking it over. He was only vaguely aware of his fit, but enough to remember not to kick any of the glass ones. Evidence of his tantrum could result in the discovery of his drinking.
He finally just settled by lying on the cold floor, pressing his face against the cool tiles. He felt hot all over. As he lay there, he heard a knock on the door. He was able to string the words together in spite of his head. "Come in."
Light strewn in as the door opened. He turned his head, looking to see who was there. To his astonishment, it was Ohtori-senpai, Kyouya. He betrayed nothing, though he was upset.
The senpai walked toward a closet, paying no heed to Kaoru. Kaoru felt it best not to speak.
"It is time to give Morinozuka and Haninozuka their graduation presents," Kyouya offered. Kaoru made no response.
Instead, Kaoru flipped over to his stomach so more of his face touched the floor. He was thankful that Ouran's floors were cleaned thoroughly every night. He could smell the lime cleaner on the floor. He wondered what Kyouya saw when he looked at him.
Kaoru couldn't even see Kyouya. He was blocked by the table, so all Kaoru could see were his pants and shoes. Kaoru was felt hospitable, so he asked, "Would you like a drink, senpai?"
He couldn't see his expression, though he thought he could hear amusement in Kyouya's voice. "No, kouhai." Kaoru wondered at his stressing of kouhai. Was Kyouya trying to slight him? He was moving up a grade. Kaoru ignored it.
Kyouya finally retreated from the closet carrying two small packages making Kaoru capable of viewing him fully. "Could you take my presents out there, senpai?" Kyouya smirked. Though many of his fan girls weren't familiar with such an expression from Kyouya, Kaoru—as a host—was.
"I assure you, Kaoru, that it would be conspicuous if I were to present your gifts for you," he provided. Kaoru sighed. He could not tell whether the tone in Kyouya's voice was condescension or amusement, both of which slighted him.
"Could you put them on the gift table for me?" he asked. A single chuckle escaped the pursed lips of the shadow king as he left the room, no acknowledgement paid to his question. Then Kaoru spoke, just loud enough for him to hear. "I never liked them that much anyway." But it wasn't true. He just wasn't thinking.