Age 14
My son just killed someone. I think.
I get up and head to the kitchen to get a drink of water, I feel as if I'm suffocating.
I down the water and feel someone next to me.
"What's wrong Felicity?" My husband, James, asks.
"Finnick is a killer." I whisper.
"He didn't want to." He says gently.
"I know, I know. I knew this would happen if he lived long enough it's…I just feel so sorry for him. I feel scared for him." I say James hugs me.
"He's doing fine right now." He says.
"But Jay if he comes home how do you think he will be?" I ask worried.
"He'll be fine. He has us to take care of him." He says.
I hear a cannon noise come from the living room and hurry back in there. I hope it wasn't Finnick.
"Let's go." The boy from one says as they look at the poor twelve year old boy they just murdered.
I'm waiting at the train station and all around me are reporters and curious citizens. They all want to see the newest victor. But I just want to see my son again. I thought I never would.
After what seems like forever I finally see the train approach the station. You then can hear all the excited people in the crowd and the flashes of cameras.
"Finnick! How does it feel to be the youngest victor ever?!" You can hear this question being shouted at him many times.
He just mumbles something. They either didn't put his microphone on correctly or he is just muttering to himself.
Finnick looks very pale. Almost like a ghost.
Finnick answers the reporters questions as nice and polite as possible but, I can see his hands are shaking. He's scared.
Mags, the victor who mentored Finnick, eventually shoos them away and Finnick gets off the stage. He spots me and runs towards me.
"Sweetie." I say and he buries his face in my chest. "You're okay." I whisper more to myself than him.
I hug him tightly. Finnick shoulders start shaking he is sobbing silently.
"It's okay Finnick." I kiss the top of his head. "You're home now." I whisper to him and his grip tightens. "I'm right here." I say and kiss the top of his head.
After awhile he looks up at me. I wipe the tears away and smile at him. I kiss his cheek.
"Are you allowed to go home yet?" I ask.
"Yes." He whispers.
"Let's go home then." I say and take his hand but Finnick doesn't move.
"What's the matter?" I ask. "Finnick?" I say worried.
"Don't you hate me?" I hear him blubber.
"Oh sweetie I could never hate you." I say and kiss his cheek.
"But those people I-"
"Finnick it's okay." I say.
He looks like he is about to object.
"We can talk about this more at home." I say. I can tell he is going to cry and I don't want him to do so outside. Besides, he is supposed to be proud and happy that he won. Especially in our community.
"Are tgey all there?" He asks and plays with his shirt.
"Who?" I ask confused.
"Jason, Marci, Dad."
"Why yes Finnick. Why are you asking this?" I say confused. Where else would his brother, sister, and father be.
"That's a lot of people." He whispers more to himself I think.
"Okay." I say confused. "Do you want to just see me then?"
"You and Dad." He says after a few minutes.
"Okay. Jason and Marci can go see Grandma then."
"Okay." He says.
He hugs me again.
"I love you." He says
"I love you too sweetie." I say and kiss his forehead.
We walk home and he freezes before we go in.
"I'll talk to Jason and Marci okay?" I say.
He nods and steps inside. He hovers in the foyer area while I look for my husband. I see him standing near the kitchen table.
"James-"
"Where is he?" He asks worried.
"In the foyer. He doesn't want to see too many people. He just wants to see us." I say.
"Okay." He says just as confused as I am. "I'll tell my Mother, she only lives down the street." He says..
"Okay." I say and head back towards Finnick.
"Felicity?" James says
"Yes." I say and turn back towards him.
"He okay?" James asks.
"I don't know." I whisper.
He nods and heads to the phone while I walk back to Finnick.
I see Finnick standing in the foyer squeezing his hands together and whispering to himself.
"Finnick what's wrong?" I ask and rub his back.
He hugs me.
"I love you." He says again.
"I love you too." I say and kiss the top of his head.
I hug him for a long time. Long enough to know Jason and Marci aren't here anymore.
"Can I see Dad?" Finnick whispers when he finally lets go of me.
"Yes, yes you can." I kiss his forehead and we head to the kitchen.
"James." I say and he comes downstairs.
He goes to Finnick and hugs him.
"Finnick." He says and kisses the top of his head.
He lets go of him and Finnick heads to the kitchen.
We all then sit down at the table, in an uncomfortable silence.
"Sweetie-" I start.
"I'm sorry." Finnick whispers.
"Finnick you have nothing to be sorry for." James says.
"It feels like I do." He swallows hard. "I… I… I-"
He says and looks like he will cry.
"It's okay Finnick." I say and rub his back.
"No it's not. How can you say that?! How can you say that after I killed people?! That's not okay! I'm a murderer! I killed people! That's not okay! That's not okay." He says. He pulls on his hair and starts crying.
"Finnick." I say and smooth his hair.
"You had to do that." James says gently.
"No I didn't… I could've died rather than killing people." He says and rests his head on the table and continues to cry.
"It's okay Finnick. You're safe now, we'll make sure of it." James says.
Finnick says something that neither of us can make out.
I rub his back and James looks at me. I shrug not knowing what to say or do. I just keep rubbing Finnick's back and kissing his forehead.
Finnick stops crying and then grips me tightly.
"It's okay Finnick it's all over." I whisper and kiss the top of his head.
He sighs and sniffles.
"I just wanted to come back home." He whimpers. "I didn't want to. I just wanted to see you again. I didn't want to..." He whimpers
"We know Finnick." James says. "We love you so much Finnick. We're just glad we can see you again." James says.
I smooth Finnick's hair and kiss his cheek.
"I don't know what I would do without you Finnick." I say and kiss him.
"I bet twenty three others people parents are thinking the same thing." He whispers.
"Finnick." I whisper not knowing what else to say.
He hugs me and starts crying again.
"Shhhh." I say and rub his back.
I understand why he wanted to be with only us now. It's not because it was too many people, it was because he felt guilty.
After thirty minutes he stops crying and I wipe the tears from his face.
"All better." I whisper and kiss his forehead.
He nods and sniffles.
"We made your favorite dinner Finnick we can eat when you're hungry." James says.
"Okay." He croaks out.
He sits at the table for a few hours and doesn't say anything. He is just drawing circles on the worn out wood.
James and I try making small talk but he only makes one word responses. We figure it is best to just leave him alone.
"Did you do anything while I was away?" He says catching us both off guard.
Saying 'just worrying about you' isn't the right answer.
"Not really sweetie just the same old. Marci can braid her hair now." I say.
"And Jason fixed the fishing net." James says
"And made a new one." I add.
These aren't exactly big things but when he was gone everyone was too worried about him, we really just watched the TV intently.
Finnick nods not very interested.
He picks at the table.
"Can we eat soon?" He whispers.
"It's in the oven all ready." I say and get it out and serve him. He eats very slowly but is smiling which I am happy for.
There's a knock on the door and Finnick freezes. I rub his back.
"It's fine Finnick. It's probably just Nana, she left her pie pan here. You don't have to see her." I say.
"I can see her if she wants, just not too long." He whispers.
"Okay." I say.
James is talking with his mother but I wave them in.
"I'll be right back sweetie." I rub his back.
I walk to the foyer.
"James said I could just leave, I understand." Tiffany, his mother, says.
"No you don't have to, he said he will see you for a little while." I say.
"Really." James says surprised.
"That's what he said, I would keep it under ten minutes." I say.
"Okay." Tiffinay says.
I go back into the kitchen and get the pie plate.
"You all finished with that Finnick?" I ask because he hasn't touched his plate in five minutes.
"No." He says.
"Okay take your time." I say and he smiles.
James and Tiffany come into the kitchen.
"Hi Finnick." Tiffany.
"Hi Nana." He whispers.
She nods and gets closer to him and he hugs her.
She wraps her arms around him.
"I love you Nana." He says.
"I love you too Finnick." She says happily.
He looks at her and smiles.
"You know that recipe for your dinner was your great great grandmas."
"I know you may has mentioned once or twice." He smiles
I give Tiffany the pie plate.
"Thank you." She says and smiles at Finnick.
"You can see me anytime Finnick." She says. He gets up and hugs her.
"Okay." He whispers.
"Okay." She says and walks to the front door.
Finnick seems like himself more in a few hours.
"It's ten o'clock I think it's time for bed." I say.
Finnick doesn't say anything.
"Finnick." James scolds.
"I can't-" He starts.
"What?" James asks confused.
"I can't sleep." Finnick whispers.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I haven't fallen asleep not since…"
"I'm sure it was just because you weren't home." I say.
"I don't think so." Finnick whispers.
"It doesn't hurt to try Finnick." I say
"Okay." He whispers and heads upstairs.
"You think that is true?" James asks when Finnick is out of earshot.
"I hope so." I say.
"He seems a bit better though." James says.
"Yes and I think a little more time at home, he will be more adjusted."
He nods.
We head up to bed but after a few hours we hear a loud screaming.
"Finnick." I whisper and hurry to his room.
He's throwing everything around.
"Finnick, Finnick." I say frantically but he doesn't stop. I go over to him and hug him.
"Mom." He says.
"It's me Finnick."
He starts sobbing.
"It's okay baby." I whisper.
"No it's not, I'm too old to be having nightmares and wake up screaming. I'm too old." He whimpers.
"No you're not." I say and pull him back so he will look at me.
"You're never to old to have a nightmare. Okay?" I say.
He nods and puts his head back on my chest.
"I love you baby." I whisper and kiss his cheek.
"Please don't leave until I'm asleep." He whispers.
"Okay." I say and kiss his cheek.
Finnick stays at home for two weeks before he requests to see his brother and sister. He doesn't seem okay with them being around either. He seems uncomfortable and afraid.
I walk over to James as Finnick is talking with his brother.
"What do you think?" I whisper to James.
"I think it could be worse." He says and I nod.
A/N: Came up with this idea by thinking about Finnick's parents. The original characters in the story are all from my other story Unexpected. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy.
-Susan.