A/N: It has been a long time since I have written anything that has nothing to do with literary analyses, so please bare with me. I love to read fan fictions but I have never actually written one where I think I might go somewhere with it. However, this one is different and I can feel it in my bones. So do enjoy and tell me what you think of this first chapter. Also, really quick (sorry I know this is somewhat long!), I will most likely be ignoring a lot of stuff in the 7th book such as Harry and Ginny and children. Voldemort will be dead, as will Dumbledore and Snape.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I just happen to like reading and writing about things that JK Rowling would probably never write about.

Warnings: This will be boy on boy at some point in time. Just warning you in case you do not like that sort of thing.

Chapter One: I'm Nothing, When Darkness Follows Me

The dark cloud of depression was circling Harry, making him choke and unable to breathe. His breaths came in short gasps as he sat there, trying to push away the pain of all those that have died, seemingly at his hand. He knew deep down that it was not his fault that people had died; it was all on Voldemort's very cold and dead hands. However, even though he told himself this, he could not bring himself out of the depression that was surrounding him. Tiredly, Harry closed his eyes and willed the tears to go away, but nothing could stop them from spilling onto his cheeks and seeping into the pillow on his bed.

I'm nothing, he silently thought to himself as he fought back the sobs. I'm nothing without having a crazed murderer after me. I have no point in life now. Why should I even bother?

Faintly, he could hear a knocking sound but he paid no attention to it, wallowing in his self-doubt. Voices could be heard on the other side of the door to Harry's room in Grimwauld Place, yet he did nothing to acknowledge them. He knew he had placed the strongest wards he could think of on the door, locking out everyone who cared for him. Why should they care about me? he had thought while he had put them up.

Now he laid here on the bed, trying to block out the pain that was ripping through his chest. Almost everyone he had cared about was dead or hurting because of him. It's all my fault. Why should they even bother with me? I am nothing. He curled into the fetal position and kept crying, ignoring the voices that were now yelling and pounding on the door. I won't let them try to comfort me. It's my own fault that this all happened. If I had never been born… He slowly smiled to himself as he thought about never being on earth. No one would have died because of him and he certainly wouldn't be a nobody with nothing to do with his life.

He was Harry Fucking Potterand he was a fucking nobody. I am nothing, he thought as he slowly drifted off into a black and dreamless sleep.

»

"Maybe we should just leave him alone Ron, he has been through a lot," Hermione reasoned, trying to get Ron to stop banging on the door before it broke off the hinges.

"No, Mione. I won't stand by as he slowly destroys himself. You know he's locked himself in there for good and he's never planning on coming out." He kept slamming his fist onto the door, with even more fervor than before.

"What is going on out here?" screeched Mrs. Weasley from the dark staircase.

"Harry's locked himself in his room and he won't come out," replied Hermione curtly. She saw a dark look cross Mrs. Weasley's face as she heard the words and saw Ron trying to destroy the door with his fists. "I told Ron to leave him alone already, that he'll come out in his own time," she added hastily. "But Ronald here won't listen to me."

"Now you listen here Ronald Weasley!" Mrs. Weasley shook her finger in front of Ron's face. He finally stopped knocking and turned to face his mother. "You leave that poor boy alone! I know we've all gone through a lot but Harry has been through more than you or Hermione. So I don't want to hear one peep out of you or anyone else. And if I hear again that you are trying to get Harry out of his room, so help me I will hex you so badly that you won't know the difference between a wand or a cauldron. Do I make myself clear?" She gave Ron a look of contempt and he audibly gulped.

"Yes Mum. Crystal."

"Good. When Harry wants to come out, he will. Merlin knows he'll need to eat and drink eventually." Hermione and Ron both shared a skeptical look as Mrs. Weasley turned her back and went back down the stairs, presumably to the kitchen where dinner was cooking.

"Do you think he's ever going to come out?" asked Hermione as she bit his lip.

"Only time will tell Hermione. Knowing Harry and his moods swings, he might. But then again he might not."

"That's what I'm afraid of," said Hermione as a single tear rolled down her cheek. Ron tightly embraced her and she buried her head into his shoulder.

"Me too Mione. Me too." He paused for a moment and kissed the top of her head. "But Harry's strong. He'll get through this somehow." I hope, he silently added in his head.

A/N: So what do you all think? Should I keep going with this or totally abandon it?