I've been playing this fic in my head a long time ago, but I can't seem to find time to write it. Well, this is my first ever fanfic but I hope you'll like it. ^^
Disclaimer: I do not own the CCS and the characters, though this story is mine.
CHAPTER 1- Prolouge
I woke up feeling the uneasy dampness of my pillow. I slowly sat up as I gently touched my cheek, wet from tears. It seems that I had cried because of a dream. I stood in front of the mirror, seeing the evidence of crying as I saw my slightly sore eyes. Was it a dream of the incident years ago? Was it because of Okaa-san again? I don't know. It seems that I'm being forgetful of my dreams lately, tiredness is the cause perhaps?
"Sakura, you're going to be late. Hurry up", that was my father calling me in his gentle voice. "Hai Otou-san" I quickly replied before I entered the bathroom for a quick bath.
"Haruka, are you awake? You're going to be late", I heard him again in his gentle voice before I slipped inside my bathroom. He was talking to my twin sister.
Otou-san… Sometimes I can't help but notice his favoritism between me and Haruka. It's not that I'm jealous or something, but I really can't help but notice how his voice would be filled with warmth and gentleness whenever talking to Haruka and be tainted with slight coldness whenever talking to me. He has always been strict to me in contrast with being supportive to Haruka.
Maybe it was because of our mother. Haruka looked like Okaa-san. Everything, except her eyes that she got from Otou-san. While me…Just a 15-year old Kinomoto Sakura, with a twin sister whom I do not look alike and had caused an incident years ago. Maybe that was just the reason about it. Otou-san really loves Okaa-san. Well then…
I sighed as I gazed my reflection at the mirror and found my emerald eyes staring back at me. That's the only thing that I've got from my mother.
I grabbed my comb and ran it through my auburn hair that covered a third of my back. Maybe I should already get a haircut? I think I'm getting uncomfortable with it already. But then Tomoyo might kill me if I do something with my hair without her permission.
"Ne Haruka, should I get going without you? I want to see Tomoyo before class. We haven't seen each other for a while because of the hectic projects and you know, me being always late." I asked Haruka as I peeked into her room, which is almost twice my room.
"Sure. I think I'll still need time fixing myself." She replied flashing a bright smile to me, before combing her waist-length somewhat grayish hair. "Well, take care Sakura." That's one of the reasons why I can't bring myself to hate her or even just envy her for all the attentions of my father. I still have Touya anyway, though he is in Tokyo University right now. But that's not the point. My sister, Haruka, she's just as kind as Okaa-san is. Well, she does like make-ups and making herself noticeable to other people, but not the likes of those drama queens. She just wants to be beautiful.
"Otou-san, I'll go now," I said but not before grabbing a sandwich from the table. "take care." I added before treading the path to school. He did not even reply. That was one of the reasons why I rarely eat at home, except when Touya is in there, that is. It seems like I do not even exist as I sit opposite to them while eating. Sure, Haruka would talk or laugh with me, but not Otou-san.
Otou-san talks to me, but on rare chances only. Only when waking me up and when just really needed or whenever he likes, which is very rare as I have said earlier. But I still love him. That won't be changed.
I didn't realize that I was already in front of our school gates. It feels so refreshing to be able to come here earlier than I usually do. Still thirty-five minutes before class. At least I have experienced not running all the way to our classroom which is at the 3rd floor of this five-storey school. Maybe I'll try changing the time of my morning routines.
I walked alone, quietly observing the glares and whispers of some girls in our batch. It's normal, really. So I didn't freak out or what. Those girls were one of those that I could settle calling an appropriate name of bitch. And you 'almost' got it right that I am the school outcast. But no I definitely am not. I definitely could not be one of the bitches nor the campus sweetheart nor the outcast. Maybe I could settle in the middle of everything?
It just so happens that I got a mixture of all. I could play verbal games without cussing and win against the girls here. I could be the total cheerful friend type, which I always am whenever with my friends except when someone insults a friend or me overboard. I could be the loner, mysterious silent type, quietly observing people or wandering on my thoughts. I'm just a normal girl not belonging in any group. I only belong with my best friends.
This class 1-1 is our class. "Oi Kinomoto," some of the boys greeted as I entered the classroom. "you're early. Did a volcano erupt or have you dreamt of ghosts and monsters that had you woke up early?" They teased knowing that I was usually late. Well the latter was quite right, but I'm not sure what that dream was, though I already have guess since it's usually that.
Kentaro playfully punched me at my shoulders when I didn't respond. Okay that wasn't too light, the punch I mean. "Kentaro-kun you punch me as if I'm not a girl, you know?" I pouted.
"Are you?" replied the others.
"Hey, of course I am." I defensively replied, though I know that it was just a joke. "I'm going outside." I replied frowning slightly, pretending to be slightly annoyed, before laughing as I saw their frowning faces. "I'm not angry okay?" I slapped his arms.
"Ow. Woman, you've got anvil in your hands? Jeez that's why I never thought you're a girl." I stuck my tongue at him as I saw him ingmassag his shoulders.
I went outside going further and stopping in front of a classroom beside ours, class 1-A. The A classes were special classes that has, of course privileges. Privileges like the special library, special gym, special room, special shower room and special everything. Actually they've already got a special building with all their special facilities. But what I'm dying to have is their advanced subjects. Pretty nerd huh? Not really, I just really want to have something challenging in my life that would take time. Doing nothing is pretty boring, especially when you can't chat with you girl classmates because they've got their own group and you're all alone.
I wasn't able to get to A class. I took the exam required for aspiring students. I didn't fail. In fact I passed 2nd in the ranking. The problem was you also need an extra fee of 200,000 yen to be in that class. Too much? No, it was just enough for all those excellent and extravagant facilities that they've got. And of course, it's enough for those people with able parents.
My best friends, Tomoyo, Chiharu, Mei Lin, Naoko, Rika, Takashi and Eriol got there. They had the money of course. Even Haruka got there. But I had not because father said that he would only be able to pay for one. I knew in that instance that he would pay the extra fee for Haruka. I did not get angry and tried to become an understanding daughter. Still, I cried, but not before I was able to took refuge in the confinements of my room. I took a part-time job in a cosplay cafe a week after that. Next school year I'll be in that class.
Tomoyo's mother, Aunt Sonomi, could and would have paid for it. She said it herself. But I declined. They already bring me to vacations for free, that's enough. They are like my second family already, Tomoyo and Aunt Sonomi. I'm even closer to them than to Otou-san and Haruka.
Ugh… I'm being indulged in the reminiscence of my life, and being bitter at it, I tell you. I snapped from my reverie when I heard a deep voice behind me. "Kinomoto, move. You're on my way."
I know for a fact that it is a certain amber-eyed guy that is behind me. I turned around just to brag to myself that I've got amazing guessing powers. And hell, I was right! Li Syaoran is now standing in front of me.
"Done staring at me? After all, I'm not wrong. You really do like me." He stated so simply yet arrogance didn't come unoticeable. He's handsome, really. If not only, urgh… What a conceited guy!
"Dream on Li! I never liked you. Besides, what is there to like? You're too conceited, arrogant, narcissistic and stuck-up guy who thinks everyone would drool over you." I retorted back with different descriptions of him, though they all mean the same.
"Then move aside." I swear if I'm not a girl he could have shoved me. I knew he was pissed seeing his petrifying amber gaze and his cold voice. And don't forget his dark aura and horns, though I had it formed only with my imaginative head. I moved aside not wanting to ruin my day before class, which was actually ruined, thank you.
"Could you call Tomoyo then?" I asked just before he entered the door. He did neither reply nor a nod, but gave loud slam on the door. What a jerk.
I turned to head back to my class, since I thought it would be embarrassing to knock and receive the stares of the whole A class. Although I knew most of them – some were even my friends – I still don't like the feeling of barging in a class not knowing what they think about me. Who knows, maybe some are thinking that I'm such a feeler, entering a class when I do not even belong there.
What a paranoid I had become. I couldn't help it. Though I'm seemed to be tough, I still avoid having the need to discover that people are backstabbing me, so I pick friends carefully. I don't even have girl friends in our class. Well I do, at least treat them as my friends but I think they don't.
"Sakura-chan!" I heard the sliding of the door and I turned around only to be strangled by a raven haired girl. Sorry, hugging I mean, but I won't deny that I can't breathe with her deadly grip.
"Tomoyo," I slowly slipped from her deadly arms and brightly smiled at her – my bestest friend of all, if there is such a word like that. "you didn't have to hug me like that. I could have died you know."
"Mou Sakura-chan, I just missed you." She pouted cutely before deciding to tease me. "So, I saw you were with Syaoran earlier." She decided to change the topic into something that is interesting. Interesting for her, I mean. She had always rooted for me and Li to be together. Well, unfortunately, that guy left a bad second impression on me.
"I caught a glimpse of you before he banged the door." She continued. "So what have you told him again?"
"Oh nothing, just the usual conversation of us." I grinned at her. Tomoyo knew both of us very well. Usual conversations of us include glares, bickering, arrogance, mockery, contradiction and such.
"Oh come on. Usual for you is unusual. Can't you at least talk to him normally, even just for once?" She asked, dramatically massaging her temples in the process. Well Tomoyo, that was normal for me. "I mean without those argument thingies?" she added, as if reading what's in my mind.
"Really! I've tried that so many times," I really did. "but that guy was so conceited. Not to mention, he treats me differently from others. He's quite kind, I think, and always laugh with others, but never with me. In fact he's so indifferent and arrogant when talking with me," that was the truth. "as if I'm a virus that he never wants to be associated with." Now that was an exaggeration. But then, I just don't know how to describe it. He always gives off an aura of 'don't talk to me Kinomoto Sakura', and of course, not talk to him was what I gave. But then, he is the one who always starts an argument – a reason to converse. Though I couldn't really count that as a conversation considering that he's just always cocky.
"Aww… how cute. Sakura-chan does, after all, like to have a nice chat with Li Syaoran." Tomoyo said dreamily. Whether she's talking to her fantasies or teasing me, I don't know, but that thought, suggestion or comment irritates me. What the?
"Eeew! How did you come up with that idea without even being sick?"
"Well you just said it. You said that you have tried it." She reasoned, which is quite right. I was the one said that. Only she gave a quite different meaning to it.
"Of course I do try. We had been friends before, right?" I defended myself.
"Before? Not anymore.
"Yes, before. That was before he regarded me as one of his fan girls, which I tell you, I'm not." I raised my hands and waved it quite dramatically, just to show my annoyance in that instance,
"My, my, Sakura still remains steadfast in her viewpoint." I didn't realize that Eriol came and had butted in our conversation.
"Ohayo Eriol!" I greeted brightly before returning into my serious face that I had since the topic about Li Syaoran stumbled in our morning chitchat. "Well, first impressions change and second impressions are much more trustworthy."
"Oh really? Maybe you're just acting like that because Syaoran's not wrong. You really like him and you're just being denial and bitter because he immediately found out about it." That was a joke from Eriol. An awful joke.
I bade goodbye to the two of them three minutes before class, ending the topic of Li Syaoran with a simple 'dream on'.
Yes, second impressions are more trustworthy. You see, Li had been my classmate for three years during elementary, and I could say that we had been friends. Close friends I daresay. He transferred before junior high and turned up in our exams for the A class of first year high school.
I was ecstatic when I realized that he came back. He looked more handsome with his intense amber eyes, his flawless face, messy chestnut hair and with his well built body that stood a height of I don't know, but I think he's a head taller than me. Okay, I had a crush to him when I first saw him after a long time, but that was all. I just admired his looks and physique. I'm not one of those fan girls who would die just to see him or talk to him. For me, not talking or not seeing him doesn't really matter.
We had a talk after the exams and even had laughs with each other. I thought he was still the same guy back in elementary – the same friend. But he's actually not! Few days after that, he avoided me and did not talk to me, so I told Tomoyo about it. She talked to Li and asked about it. What did he say?
"It's just that, I don't like girls who chase me."
Seriously Li Syaoran, you thought I chase you or like you? Well I would, that is when impossible things begin to be possible with no apparent scientific explanation!
What a conceited guy he had become. And so, I started to avoid him too. But we still had conversations – normal conversations. Tomoyo once said that avoiding him means that I just wanted him to like me, since he doesn't like girls chasing him. But no, I just want to prove to him that I'm not like those girls who would die just to be able to flirt with him. I wanted to show him that I don't like him in any romantic ways that a person would be able to think of.
But frankly, I don't give a damn if he would start to notice that I don't like him. That's his problem already. Still, I continue arguing with him whenever talking to him, a habit perhaps? I even considered thinking that I'm starting to like him. I thought that maybe I am just trying to getting his attentions with all those sour comments that give him.
Well, I just tried thinking rationally. But after all, I decided that I do not like him that way, since I do not look nor miss him whenever he is not around, arguing with me. It's just a bad habit, because I really don't like being defeated. Especially by someone who thinks the world would bow to him.
What the heck? Why am I blabbering with my own thoughts now? And to think that Li Syaoran is the center of my thoughts, seriously? Ugh… this your fault, Tomoyo, for making me think again of how sick that bastard is.
So, how was it? Please review and let me know what do you think about it.